but then again my life's a roller coaster
and now i'm feeling just peechy.
how can anybody deal with my mood swings? i mean i've heard of of rapid cycling, but this... THIS is just too much for me. i have learned a lot about myself though. a lot of my triggers, which unknowlingly i even put onto myself. like playing a song over and over again that inside just keeps crushing my heart more and more, and i don't even really realize that it's the song making my cry my eyes out... until i really think about the time that this song was most prominent in my life. strange. and i've learned some coping skills too. like who i can really go to and who i really cannot go to. i try so hard to trust people with my issues, but they always turn on me, and that's why i don't like to make new friends. but then i don't really hand out with my old friends anymore anyways.
good news... ashlee's only leaving for three months now.
so besides that sidenote, seriously, i just don't make new friends well, and the only people i have been hanging out with lately have been ashlee and ryan. speaking of the two of them, i love them both so much. those two are the best. and tonight i told ryan if i had to choose between the two of them i would choose her, and i think it kinda hurt his feelings. but i didn't mean it to, i just wanted him to realize why i so try hard to make her feel OK when it's the three of us, more than i try to satisfy what HE wants.
well, that's the story of my life for now.
i'm 19 now... woo. happy birthday to me yesterday
how can anybody deal with my mood swings? i mean i've heard of of rapid cycling, but this... THIS is just too much for me. i have learned a lot about myself though. a lot of my triggers, which unknowlingly i even put onto myself. like playing a song over and over again that inside just keeps crushing my heart more and more, and i don't even really realize that it's the song making my cry my eyes out... until i really think about the time that this song was most prominent in my life. strange. and i've learned some coping skills too. like who i can really go to and who i really cannot go to. i try so hard to trust people with my issues, but they always turn on me, and that's why i don't like to make new friends. but then i don't really hand out with my old friends anymore anyways.
good news... ashlee's only leaving for three months now.
so besides that sidenote, seriously, i just don't make new friends well, and the only people i have been hanging out with lately have been ashlee and ryan. speaking of the two of them, i love them both so much. those two are the best. and tonight i told ryan if i had to choose between the two of them i would choose her, and i think it kinda hurt his feelings. but i didn't mean it to, i just wanted him to realize why i so try hard to make her feel OK when it's the three of us, more than i try to satisfy what HE wants.
well, that's the story of my life for now.
i'm 19 now... woo. happy birthday to me yesterday