Harder to breathe...

[the_prodigal]

The lobby was getting a little crowded for my tastes. Gunn, Lorne, Spike, Harmony... it was all a little much. I wordlessly excused myself from the room, looking only to Lorne as I did so. "Just... make yourself at home. You know you're welcome to," I told him, offering what I hoped was a warm smile, if on the small side. I turned and left then,

Comments

[brittish_ponce]

(Not sure if I have Fred with me or not).

"Angel?" I knocked. I needed to talk to him. To tell him...I don't know, that I was sorry? That I hadn't meant to die so soon. I couldn't tell him that, as it would be a lie.

I wanted to die. I let my guard down because I just didn't care. I mean, I cared about the world, but my own life? It meant little.

I waited for him to answer me.

[the_prodigal]

"Angel?"

Wesley. We hadn't really spoken, not since we'd all come back... he'd died before the rest of us. I had meant to ask Illyria just what had happened, to find out the circumstances of his death, but there hadn't been any time to. I never got the chance. It had been time for the rest of us to fight, and we all fell, just like he had. I was still curious, but I would have to set those questions aside until later. I couldn't just open the door and say, 'Hey, nice to see you. So how'd you croak, anyway?' That just... you know, lacked... class.

"Come on in, Wes." I knew he'd have no problem letting himself in, I didn't have to get up and open the door for him. It was unlocked. Instead, I just stared at the phone on the table next to me, resting my chin in my hand. I'd have to try again later, and working up the courage and grit to call again was going to take some time... but not too much, I hoped. There were other things I needed to take care of, after all.

[fredburkle]

I followed Wesley through the door and stopped. I hadn't really had a chance to talk to Angel since we all...came back. He'd given me a brief hug and then went off to brood. At least some things hand't changed. I gave him a small smile as I sat down in one of the chairs, "So...what's the game plan, boss?"

We all knew there were things we needed to do now that concerned Wolfram and Hart and the Senior Partners, but I had no idea what they were. I died....long before everyone else and so I was pretty much clueless about what was going on. Even so, I was ready and willing to help out where and when and with what I could.

[brittish_ponce]

I held Fred's hand as we walked into the room.

We could do this. Really.

[brittish_ponce]

I opened the door, feeling slightly apprehensive. I wasn't myself, those last few months at W&H. In fact, I'm not sure who I was. A lost soul. Nearly a creature of the night myself. Only with a gun instead of fangs.

I sat in a chair across from him, and smiled.

"So, um...it is good to be back in the old office, is it not? Just tell me you're not going to fire us again." I smiled, and hoped a joke would be enough to break the ice.

[the_prodigal]

"So...what's the game plan, boss?"

I looked to Fred. It was strange, seeing her there. Surreal. The feeling I got was similar to what I felt when I looked at Cordy now. Both of them had died long before the rest of us had. It was bizarre, having the two of them up and walking alongside us again, even though none of us should have been there in the first place. Six feet under. That's where we were supposed to be. But none of us were. All because of the good old PTBs... they wanted us back.

Guess they missed us.

"In all honesty, Fred?" I started, withholding a sigh. "I really don't know yet. I think we should all just slow down a little... get our bearings. We're here to kow-tow to the Powers That Be... again. I guess they'll let us know when they need us. Cordy's gotta be due for a vision soon, but... for now, I think the best thing we can all do for ourselves is just to get settled." I paused. Had I forgotten something?

Oh, right.

"... it's good to see you again."

"So, um...it is good to be back in the old office, is it not?

[brittish_ponce]

I grinned, at both him and Fred. Felt like a grinning fool.

"On the way in, I hear Gunn yell at someone. Wasn't sure who, but if I had a guess," I glanced at Fred, then back to Angel, "It would be his roomie."

I looked down for a moment.

"We can't keep Illyria Angel. She is a danger. Not just to the world, not just to me, but to Fred. She's already threatened her life. And I'm worried about that." I held onto Fred's hand, and hoped she couldn't feel the shaking.

[fredburkle]

I gave Angel a smile and then listened as he told us both that we were just pawns in the plans of The Powers. Knowing that you're just being moved around like pieces on a game board is never a good feeling, but at least we were on the side of good...I hoped.

Wesley's joke made me smile again, but that quickly faded when he started talking about Illyria. She was an extremely powerful fallen god who hated me and wanted me dead. That, also, was not a very good feeling. I squeezed Wesley's hand and then sat down in one of Angel's chairs.

"So what do we do with her? I mean...it's not like she's a puppy we can just return..right? She's powerful and...blue." If she were on our team, she'd make one strong ally, but how would she really fit in at Angel Investigations?

[brittish_ponce]

I sighed.

"I don't know. I don't mean we have to kill her, or anything drastic like that. I mean, she can't stay here. It isn't safe. She still has the delusions of being a God. And those delusions could end up being more dangerous to us now than ever before."

I looked at Angel emploringly.

"I don't believe she is evil. Not really. But I do believe that certain changes to reality will shift her position. And the position that she believed herself to be in. And that, I fear, will be her greatest undoing."

I wondered, now that Fred was back, if Illyria could go back to the well of souls without killing 10,000's more people. But it was a question I was afraid to ask, especially with Fred here.

[_fredless]

"I don't know Wesley," I started thoughtfully, drawing up my legs underneath me in an old familiar move that seemed to return to me...just as I had returned to the hotel. To my home...

"I don't know about that Illyria not staying here part. It's not what I want...or even what I was thinking a few minutes ago I know, but it is because you are right about other things. She is powerful, and delusional, and most of all? She isn't safe

[brittish_ponce]

I looked at her, into those eyes, knowing mine were haunted.

"I didn't mean unleashing her, love. I...I..." I guess I didn't know for sure what I meant to do with her. I was afraid for Fred. I don't believe she understood the danger she was in. Illyria hated her. I could feel that when she first set eyes upon Fred.

I just wanted Fred safe. The rest of the world be damned.

But I couldn't have that attitude anymore. I couldn't allow that to cloud my judgement. Fred was here. I needed to be more normal. More...sane.

She must never find out how I died. He shook his head, as though too many thoughts were swirling at once. Turning to look at Angel

"Fred is right. She does need to know Illyria a bit better. Then decisions need to be made." I wanted him to get it. To understand.

I emplored him with my eyes to understand, all while stroking Fred's fingers. It would be okay. It had to be okay.

[the_prodigal]

"Fred is right. She does need to know Illyria a bit better. Then decisions need to be made."

I just nodded in reply. It was a tough spot to be put in. I understood where both Fred and Wesley were coming from. Fred wasn't safe with Illyria around. Now that Fred was back, none of us were safe. Illyria's reality had changed. She had to feel challenged now. Maybe even replaced. Granted, Illyria wasn't exactly my favorite person. I didn't have a whole lot of sympathy for her, but I also didn't like the idea of having a pouty, upset, and generally angry demon living under my roof.

Because really... no good could come of that.

"Alright. I think that's a good idea. Get to know Illyria a little better... it might help. But I'll be keeping my eyes wide open. And you, Wes... you, too. We should all keep an eye on Illyria while she stays with us. Until we decide what to do with her. She needs to be watched. All of us are in danger with her around. We've always known that. It's just more... tangible now."

[dark_wesley]

I nodded to Angel and let out a long sigh. Everything about the subject of Illyria was, at the very least, exasperating. At the worst, of course, there was the disconcertingly large potential for destruction... but as of yet, save a dull ache in the vicinity of my cheek that I was hoping wouldn't blossom into a full-blown bruise, we had luckily seen little of it.

Standing, I tugged a bit at my jacket and gave a weak smile in Angel's direction.

"Thanks for listening."

Glancing at Fred, I couldn't help but wish I was a mind-reader, or at least a better judge of subtle signals. How all of this-- coming back, learning about what had happened to her, about Illyria-- was affecting her, I couldn't imagine. Well, there was only one way to find out.

"Fred, if you don't mind, I'd like to talk."

As we started out of Angel's room, I called to him over my shoulder.

"I suppose despite anything else, it's good to be back, at least."

((Hop to new thread.))