Reawakening
I had no where to go really. I walked out of that building and watched the place I had spent the last few months in fall at my feet. Numb was an understatement. For the first few hours I waited for him. It could have been a mistake. Angel could have been wrong. It wouldn't have been the first time he was less than honest with me... to any of them really. Not that I had been a part of them, ever. I was an outsider and now I was done.
With no where to go and no where to belong I simply stayed in the only place I knew of. It had been safe, but now that didn't even matter. No where was safe anymore. The world was changing and I wasn't part of that anymore. They had discarded me and removed my status. I was just like everyone else. Someday I would die and my body could finally come to rest.
I was merely in wait. I didn't have anything left to me. All the plans, all the sacrifices I had made seemed to be for nothing. I gave it all up, and when I say gave it all up I mean everything. I had a place set for me. A purpose, some higher manner of being. A role to play and I traded it all in for a chance at something to call my own.
Now I was nothing. Made mortal, made human made into something that couldn't be added into whatever plan the world had already set into motion. More an outsider than I had been when I was within the walls of Wolfram and Hart. No more purpose awaiting me. Just death. So I waited for it, since it seemed to be the only thing left to me.
One morning I heard it again. It is something you never forget, or at least you are supposed to forget but I never will. I heard it on the day of my Creation. They call it the Awakening. All the time they put into you, the memories, the knowledge, the mannerisms, the way you take your coffee in the morning, all of it takes years of programming.
We aren't supposed to know.
The Awakening erases that so all you know is the life they gave you. All you remember is getting your assignement and starting your lifetime. I was sent to finish a senior year at University of Santa Cruz. All my credits and classes were taken care of. I passes with honors and was placed within the Los Angeles branch of Wolfram and Hart.
My placement was planned. The amount I knew about myself wasn't what they had in mind. He changed it all. Opened my eyes. Showed me the truth hidden behind all the lies they had given me. I was pure evil created of a lie and placed into whatever they needed me to become. I was just a tool to them an instrument of implementation. He gave me a real awakening and then left me alone to die.
Or so I thought.
Three in the morning and I was sent an Awakening. The partners wanted nothing to do with me. They locked my access to all that they had planted within me. Their pride had stopped them from destroying me altogether. I was purely just for display purposes only. Something they could say, "Look what we made." Whoever sent me the Awakening knew what I was. They knew what I had within me and how much value it could have to someone in the right place at the right time. All that it took was two words and everything flooded back to me. Whispers in the dead of night sending me gasping for air that couldn't be enough.
"He's alive."
A message like that you don't need transcribed and translated. You don't need to dig deep for some hidden meaning. All I had to do was verify that it was the truth. That it was real. I had to go to the only person that would be able to tell me the truth. Eve though I never belived him before he was the only person I could go to.
I knew the way to the Hyperion by heart. It was where they all were supposed to meet when the dust settled. I had gone there once. Just to see if there was something I had missed. I never got past the sidewalk though, I just kept on walking. There was nothing there for me. I knew it then and in a way I knew it now as well.
I just had to hope that the first steps I took into the hotel weren't going to end up my last.
((Open to Angel))
With no where to go and no where to belong I simply stayed in the only place I knew of. It had been safe, but now that didn't even matter. No where was safe anymore. The world was changing and I wasn't part of that anymore. They had discarded me and removed my status. I was just like everyone else. Someday I would die and my body could finally come to rest.
I was merely in wait. I didn't have anything left to me. All the plans, all the sacrifices I had made seemed to be for nothing. I gave it all up, and when I say gave it all up I mean everything. I had a place set for me. A purpose, some higher manner of being. A role to play and I traded it all in for a chance at something to call my own.
Now I was nothing. Made mortal, made human made into something that couldn't be added into whatever plan the world had already set into motion. More an outsider than I had been when I was within the walls of Wolfram and Hart. No more purpose awaiting me. Just death. So I waited for it, since it seemed to be the only thing left to me.
One morning I heard it again. It is something you never forget, or at least you are supposed to forget but I never will. I heard it on the day of my Creation. They call it the Awakening. All the time they put into you, the memories, the knowledge, the mannerisms, the way you take your coffee in the morning, all of it takes years of programming.
We aren't supposed to know.
The Awakening erases that so all you know is the life they gave you. All you remember is getting your assignement and starting your lifetime. I was sent to finish a senior year at University of Santa Cruz. All my credits and classes were taken care of. I passes with honors and was placed within the Los Angeles branch of Wolfram and Hart.
My placement was planned. The amount I knew about myself wasn't what they had in mind. He changed it all. Opened my eyes. Showed me the truth hidden behind all the lies they had given me. I was pure evil created of a lie and placed into whatever they needed me to become. I was just a tool to them an instrument of implementation. He gave me a real awakening and then left me alone to die.
Or so I thought.
Three in the morning and I was sent an Awakening. The partners wanted nothing to do with me. They locked my access to all that they had planted within me. Their pride had stopped them from destroying me altogether. I was purely just for display purposes only. Something they could say, "Look what we made." Whoever sent me the Awakening knew what I was. They knew what I had within me and how much value it could have to someone in the right place at the right time. All that it took was two words and everything flooded back to me. Whispers in the dead of night sending me gasping for air that couldn't be enough.
"He's alive."
A message like that you don't need transcribed and translated. You don't need to dig deep for some hidden meaning. All I had to do was verify that it was the truth. That it was real. I had to go to the only person that would be able to tell me the truth. Eve though I never belived him before he was the only person I could go to.
I knew the way to the Hyperion by heart. It was where they all were supposed to meet when the dust settled. I had gone there once. Just to see if there was something I had missed. I never got past the sidewalk though, I just kept on walking. There was nothing there for me. I knew it then and in a way I knew it now as well.
I just had to hope that the first steps I took into the hotel weren't going to end up my last.
((Open to Angel))