This really isn't what I was expecting.
It had been awhile since I'd seen both Harmony and Angel leave the kitchen. I didn't know where they were now, but I was fairly sure the kitchen was safe. Rather than continuing to sit on the stairs and feel sorry for myself, I decided to get up and help myself to what little I was sure to find in the kitchen, leaving the stairwell and the
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I felt my face get hot. Heavy as the situation was, I was still embarrassed about singing. It didn't take much to be a step up from Angel -- musically, anyway -- but I knew how horrible I sounded. No time for vainity now, though.
"Yeah, okay... um... can I get you some Excedrin or something?" Lame, I know, but I felt bad. Would Excedrin help a destiny-induced headache? I wasn't sure, but I felt like I should offer something for what I'd just put him through. At least he hadn't thrown up.
Yet.
"Okay, so... explaination. Right. Um, I'm guessing you've already picked up that I'm Angel's son. Angel's... and Darla's." I'd never met my mother. I'd only ever seen her in what I assumed were hallucinations. It hurt less to think that those had been hallucinations. If it had really been my mother...
... there were no words for how much I must have dissappointed her that night, the night when Cordy and I brought Jasmine into the world.
"When Angel took the deal at Wolfram & Hart... he had them rewrite everyone's memories so that noone would remember me. My memories, too. So I could go live with a normal family and do normal stuff... like go to school. I guess it's kind of sappy, but I was all crazy and homicidal, so it really was a change for the better..."
I'm really bad at this. Really, really bad.
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"No need, it'll pass in a few." I offered up a smile to be reassuring, but the pounding in my head made it a little hard to keep up. "And if not, I have reinforcements to take care of it." In all glass bottle shapes and sizes.
"Okay, so... explaination. Right. Um, I'm guessing you've already picked up that I'm Angel's son. Angel's... and Darla's."
"I got that much." I said with a nod. He seemed pretty sure I was going to freak out, but since that's not exactly my style, it's what I'm trying to avoid. Plus, if all this is what I'm remembering right, he's been through more than enough in his lifetime. Freaking out wouldn't help him much.
"When Angel took the deal at Wolfram & Hart... he had them rewrite everyone's memories so that noone would remember me. My memories, too. So I could go live with a normal family and do normal stuff... like go to school. I guess it's kind of sappy, but I was all crazy and homicidal, so it really was a change for the better..."
"I remember now." I said with a quick nod. And he was a happy little camper, up until Wes found out and accidentally ruined it. That part I wasn't nearby for, but I saw it. "That's a pretty wild ride amigo." I mixed myself up another seabreeze.
I looked over at him. "Don't worry Connor, I'm fine." Other than feeling like I've been hit by a Mac truck, I'm peachy. "What brought you back here?"
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"Isn't it, though?" I asked, giving him a wry smile and sighing as I helped myself to a seat at the nearby table. "Wild" was a pretty mild way to put it, but for now, it would do. "... are you sure you're alright?"
"Don't worry Connor, I'm fine. What brought you back here?"
He's lying, his head's got to be throbbing. I won't push it.
"Faith, actually. She just kinda... showed up on my doorstep." I wasn't smiling anymore. Even though I now knew Faith's bad news had turned out to be untrue, it was hard not to feel guilty.
I could have been there. I could have stayed. I could have helped in the fight. But I didn't. Dad sent me home... and I listened.
The one time I listen to my dad, and he winds up dead. ... well, extra-dead. Even though he's back now, I still could have done something.
"Told me Angel and everyone else had gotten killed in the fight against the Black Thorn... I guess we came back to get a last look at the place. Tie up some emotional loose ends."
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Doorstep... Doorstep...
That'd be at the home where Connor had been dropped with the memory recreation... Oh that's a pleasant little picture, I can tell why Angel wanted it. Nice family down to the little sister. Perfect setting for Connor to grow up in, nothing like what he'd been dropped into before.
"Told me Angel and everyone else had gotten killed in the fight against the Black Thorn... I guess we came back to get a last look at the place. Tie up some emotional loose ends."
And you see how that one worked out. "Yeah, I did pretty much the same thing," I nodded. "Except I did it because I heard they were still alive."
I looked over at Connor. "See, I set up shop a bit down the state line, and this peach of a bartender had herself a little psychic vision and told me everyone was back. And Susie decided she wouldn't let up until I gave it a look for myself, so I came back."
Best to give him the full story. "Then I decided I'd stay as long as I was needed. They can handle things without me down there." At least, if Freddy ever wants my help with a single thing ever again, he will.
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Can't say I'm too surprised. Lorne always did manage to hear news like that before anyone else did.
"See, I set up shop a bit down the state line, and this peach of a bartender had herself a little psychic vision and told me everyone was back. And Susie decided she wouldn't let up until I gave it a look for myself, so I came back. Then I decided I'd stay as long as I was needed. They can handle things without me down there."
"Did you really think they'd be alive when you heard that?" I couldn't help asking. If someone had told me that my father was alive, after I was so absolutely positive that he was dead, I probably wouldn't have believed them. Not until after I'd investigated like Lorne did, at least.
"... I had trouble believing they'd died at first, but... by the time I got here, it had kind of settled in. Then we find out that everyone's alive again... kinda disorienting, you know? I don't really know which end is up right now."
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"Sort of." I admitted. "Was more about closure when I decided to go." I shrugged a bit, finishing off my drink and working on my third. Still don't quite have the right amount in me to get rid of the head splitting headache.
"I had my feelings, just like I always do, but some part of me gave up the faith, at least a little bit." I had a hard time admitting to that part.
"... I had trouble believing they'd died at first, but... by the time I got here, it had kind of settled in. Then we find out that everyone's alive again... kinda disorienting, you know? I don't really know which end is up right now."
"You, me, and everyone else." I said with a sigh, and sipped a bit of of the seabreeze once it was finished. "Hopefully we'll all be able to get past it soon, since some big thing might be on the way."
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"Yeah..."
So where were we supposed to go from here? It's not like I was still in the loop. That ended a long time ago. Am I supposed to stay, or should I go home to my other family? Do they need me here? Do they even want me here?
I guess it's time to talk to the old man himself. I've waited long enough.
I shifted uncomfortably and shoved my hands deep into my pockets. "So... what are your plans?" I asked, eyeing Lorne for a moment. "Are you gonna head back to San Francisco? Or are you staying here?" Maybe Lorne can help me gain some perspective here. He knows who I am now -- that's one obstacle out of the way, at least. I know I can't make any decisions until I talk to Angel.
... he's just so busy with everyone but me right now.
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Good question.
"Are you gonna head back to San Francisco? Or are you staying here?"
"I'm not sure, actually." I said honestly. The kid deserves as much honesty as possible with everything that's happened to him. But still, that's a kicker of a question.
"I'll stay as long as I'm needed." I said after giving it a little thought. "And then, once that's up, I'll mosey my way back. No need to hang around where you're not nescecary to the situation, if you know what I mean."
I had some of my seabreeze, and then looked back to him. "Now why don't you do some moseying of your own and go find out what the big guy is up to. You two should probably have a chat." Or twenty. They're going to have a good amount of chatting to do, if I'm not mistaken.
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