round 3? (yeah wooo crazy dad!)
well. last night proved that my dad is not just taking it out on me. but i do make a good distraction.
came home from uni, decided to spend the night finishing my psych report.
got called for dinner by my bro. then about 2 mins later my mum calls down to me "mac get out here" and then my dad errupts in fucking SCREAMING at my youngest brother (who is 12). apparently he sent a rude sms to some girl from his school, i don't know what it said. my bro's been hanging out with a couple of loser kida for a while but my parents have never bothered to do anything about it dispite me trying to tell then that he's bad news.
apparenly the fighting had been going on for a while but i couldn't hear it from my room. well the only part i actually picked up from the screaming was my dad telling my bro to get down on his knees and beg my mother for forgiveness. to which my mother's jaw dropped and my sister and i both jump in and i both jump in to tell my dad to stop yelling at him. father starts yelling at me not to speak to him like that and storms off. i decide not to let him ruin my dinner and sit down at the table. while my sister goes back to her room. then he returns, grabs an open bottle of juice out of my hand and throws it accross the room and starts yelling again about how dare i interupt him and how dare i eat while he's talking blah blah then says if i don't like it i can leave. sister comes back and tells my brothers to get in her car, i run into my room to get my shoes. then decide that it's probably a really stupid idea and return to the table. dad starts yelling again. i (not yelling) try to tell my dad to stop yelling. which of course takes his attention off everyone else and back onto me. back with all this stuff about how im such a smart ass and how i have no respect for anyone and blah blah etc for about 20 mins, with me bearly saying anything the entire time. then i get fed up and say something about how im not as bad of a person as he's saying and then he starts shitting on about how im stupid and i haven't got a clue about anything. it goes on like that for a while and then he stoms off again. by this point my sister and two brothers are all in tears and my mum is doing her "tuning out" thing.
i sit back down at the table and calm everyone down and we begin to eat. then my dad comes back screaming some more. and says something like "ok mac, you tell me some of the things in this world which are completely unacceptable, something something sinful something something". i can see the rest of the family's getting really upset again so i ask my dad if we can talk about it in another room so everyone can eat. then he starts on about how he wants to say it infront of everyone so they too can see that i haven't got a clue about anything. i know where he's going with the question and pretty much anything i say he's going to throw back at me somehow or start on someone else in the family about. i try thinking of a way to answer and be able to avoid that but then my sister jumps in about how hitting your kids is unecusable and other stuff all aimed at him and storms off. then he starts on about how i don't know anything about anything. and then again about how im such a bad person and i've sat a bad example and my brother's going to grow up to be just like me, a fuck up, or something. again, family are in tears (not me). then he starts going on about how he has to send my brother to a private school to get him away from the guys he hangs out with now and how he doesn't have the money and how we're all going to have to suffer, which myself and my sister both tell him to stop trying to put that kind of shit on my little bro. and then my mum starts pleading with him to stop the drama and everyone's getting upset and eventually he tells my brothers they can leave. then he leaves.
i sit down again and talk to my mother and sister about it. my sister says she hates him and she's going to move out and never talk to any of us again and bring up stuff about our older brothers. i try to tell her that's not going to achieve anything. i can see my mum getting upset at the prospect of her actually doing that. my bro is 34 and my dad still tries to controle his life. and other stuff.
then my dad comes back again. i chuckle to myself with the thought of how there should b a ring girl walking past with a sign for round 3. you'd think he's b over it already. this is where i start to see how nuts my dad completely is. he begins by talking about how great a person my uncle, his brother, who is now dead, was. and he was a great person. he started a free legal advice service and faught the barr society or whatever they're called, for years. they threatened to stop him from being able to prectice law etc etc. and he also faught for legal rights for native australians and did a lot of stuff in native title cases and other stuff. then he ends it by telling me that i am really fucked up and how dare i try to say im a good person just because im going to uni. which i'd breifly mentioned about an hour b4 as an example of how i haven't completely disregarded everything he says and not to try to say im a good person because of it. i quite calmly point that out. then he starts on and on about all this religious stuff which he'd been illuding to the whole night. about how all the world is sinful and we all need to be begging for forgiveness everyday. my mum breaks in with something about how no one can do that and he couldn't do that and he doesn't need to make so much drama. then he starts SCREAMING about how dare anything interupt him and my sister says "you interupt us all the time" and he starts yelling some more about how he'd never interupt anyone which my mum and sister and i all look at eachother and say something like "you interupt everyone all the time, no one can ever get a word in" and then it becomes a "no i don't", "yes you do" thing. and that kind of illogical stuff continues where he starts denying all sorts of stuff and talking about extremely over the top relisious stuff. he was denying things which all of us knew were bullshit and that he'd done soooo many times that he couldn't possibley think we'd believe it. like hitting us, or insulting his ex wife infront of my older brothers. he then starts saying about how everyone hits their kids and all the high up religious ppl did (yeah ari, according to my dad, bapak, who said "hitting your kids is like hitting your grandfather", used to kick his kids.).
eventaully the "conversation" came back to my bro and the fact that all my dad's trying to say is that it's not over yet. which would b fine, yeah he needs to stop hanging out with such losers and he needs to know that insulting some girl on sms is not ok. but screaming at him won't teach him anything.
i tried a few times throught the night to offer to talk to my bro about it. i know what he needs to hear and i know how to talk to a 12 year old. i know how to talk to kids better then i know how to talk to adults. i am a kid! but after all that shit i don't know if anything could b said to save it. not yet. coz now he's just going to be angry and upset and not want to hear anything from anyone. kids need to learn things, not have it force fed to them. my sister and brothers are all extremely intellegent and intllegent ppl question things. they can't just accept something if someone says "this is what you must do".
im over it.
my dad's a loony.
the end.
ps. if anyone else feels the urge to say something like "move out", they can go fuck themselves! my family need me. im not going to abandon them. i know what that feels like. my brother left when i was 6 and i haven't seen him since. and now my other brother has extremely minimal contact with the family. i am currently the only one talking with him and that's only through emails. runing away is not the answer! FUCK YOU!
came home from uni, decided to spend the night finishing my psych report.
got called for dinner by my bro. then about 2 mins later my mum calls down to me "mac get out here" and then my dad errupts in fucking SCREAMING at my youngest brother (who is 12). apparently he sent a rude sms to some girl from his school, i don't know what it said. my bro's been hanging out with a couple of loser kida for a while but my parents have never bothered to do anything about it dispite me trying to tell then that he's bad news.
apparenly the fighting had been going on for a while but i couldn't hear it from my room. well the only part i actually picked up from the screaming was my dad telling my bro to get down on his knees and beg my mother for forgiveness. to which my mother's jaw dropped and my sister and i both jump in and i both jump in to tell my dad to stop yelling at him. father starts yelling at me not to speak to him like that and storms off. i decide not to let him ruin my dinner and sit down at the table. while my sister goes back to her room. then he returns, grabs an open bottle of juice out of my hand and throws it accross the room and starts yelling again about how dare i interupt him and how dare i eat while he's talking blah blah then says if i don't like it i can leave. sister comes back and tells my brothers to get in her car, i run into my room to get my shoes. then decide that it's probably a really stupid idea and return to the table. dad starts yelling again. i (not yelling) try to tell my dad to stop yelling. which of course takes his attention off everyone else and back onto me. back with all this stuff about how im such a smart ass and how i have no respect for anyone and blah blah etc for about 20 mins, with me bearly saying anything the entire time. then i get fed up and say something about how im not as bad of a person as he's saying and then he starts shitting on about how im stupid and i haven't got a clue about anything. it goes on like that for a while and then he stoms off again. by this point my sister and two brothers are all in tears and my mum is doing her "tuning out" thing.
i sit back down at the table and calm everyone down and we begin to eat. then my dad comes back screaming some more. and says something like "ok mac, you tell me some of the things in this world which are completely unacceptable, something something sinful something something". i can see the rest of the family's getting really upset again so i ask my dad if we can talk about it in another room so everyone can eat. then he starts on about how he wants to say it infront of everyone so they too can see that i haven't got a clue about anything. i know where he's going with the question and pretty much anything i say he's going to throw back at me somehow or start on someone else in the family about. i try thinking of a way to answer and be able to avoid that but then my sister jumps in about how hitting your kids is unecusable and other stuff all aimed at him and storms off. then he starts on about how i don't know anything about anything. and then again about how im such a bad person and i've sat a bad example and my brother's going to grow up to be just like me, a fuck up, or something. again, family are in tears (not me). then he starts going on about how he has to send my brother to a private school to get him away from the guys he hangs out with now and how he doesn't have the money and how we're all going to have to suffer, which myself and my sister both tell him to stop trying to put that kind of shit on my little bro. and then my mum starts pleading with him to stop the drama and everyone's getting upset and eventually he tells my brothers they can leave. then he leaves.
i sit down again and talk to my mother and sister about it. my sister says she hates him and she's going to move out and never talk to any of us again and bring up stuff about our older brothers. i try to tell her that's not going to achieve anything. i can see my mum getting upset at the prospect of her actually doing that. my bro is 34 and my dad still tries to controle his life. and other stuff.
then my dad comes back again. i chuckle to myself with the thought of how there should b a ring girl walking past with a sign for round 3. you'd think he's b over it already. this is where i start to see how nuts my dad completely is. he begins by talking about how great a person my uncle, his brother, who is now dead, was. and he was a great person. he started a free legal advice service and faught the barr society or whatever they're called, for years. they threatened to stop him from being able to prectice law etc etc. and he also faught for legal rights for native australians and did a lot of stuff in native title cases and other stuff. then he ends it by telling me that i am really fucked up and how dare i try to say im a good person just because im going to uni. which i'd breifly mentioned about an hour b4 as an example of how i haven't completely disregarded everything he says and not to try to say im a good person because of it. i quite calmly point that out. then he starts on and on about all this religious stuff which he'd been illuding to the whole night. about how all the world is sinful and we all need to be begging for forgiveness everyday. my mum breaks in with something about how no one can do that and he couldn't do that and he doesn't need to make so much drama. then he starts SCREAMING about how dare anything interupt him and my sister says "you interupt us all the time" and he starts yelling some more about how he'd never interupt anyone which my mum and sister and i all look at eachother and say something like "you interupt everyone all the time, no one can ever get a word in" and then it becomes a "no i don't", "yes you do" thing. and that kind of illogical stuff continues where he starts denying all sorts of stuff and talking about extremely over the top relisious stuff. he was denying things which all of us knew were bullshit and that he'd done soooo many times that he couldn't possibley think we'd believe it. like hitting us, or insulting his ex wife infront of my older brothers. he then starts saying about how everyone hits their kids and all the high up religious ppl did (yeah ari, according to my dad, bapak, who said "hitting your kids is like hitting your grandfather", used to kick his kids.).
eventaully the "conversation" came back to my bro and the fact that all my dad's trying to say is that it's not over yet. which would b fine, yeah he needs to stop hanging out with such losers and he needs to know that insulting some girl on sms is not ok. but screaming at him won't teach him anything.
i tried a few times throught the night to offer to talk to my bro about it. i know what he needs to hear and i know how to talk to a 12 year old. i know how to talk to kids better then i know how to talk to adults. i am a kid! but after all that shit i don't know if anything could b said to save it. not yet. coz now he's just going to be angry and upset and not want to hear anything from anyone. kids need to learn things, not have it force fed to them. my sister and brothers are all extremely intellegent and intllegent ppl question things. they can't just accept something if someone says "this is what you must do".
im over it.
my dad's a loony.
the end.
ps. if anyone else feels the urge to say something like "move out", they can go fuck themselves! my family need me. im not going to abandon them. i know what that feels like. my brother left when i was 6 and i haven't seen him since. and now my other brother has extremely minimal contact with the family. i am currently the only one talking with him and that's only through emails. runing away is not the answer! FUCK YOU!