You are the beat I can't stop, the peak in my plot.
I don't know who else to turn to to hold my deepest secrets, but you. My journal of a million years. Pain has overcome me today and I find it beating on old wounds. This girl, has brought me back to life, and her pain has resurrected my own. I never meant to fall for her, but now everything that hurts her, hurts me. Everyone that messes with her, I wish karma would hurry up and take care of them. She doesn't deserve to suffer, I wish I could make it stop.
She looked at me today and told me that she wants to be the one that she wakes up to every single day. She wishes that I was the one she could kiss and say good morning to. The one that falls asleep on her chest at night. the one standing by her side. How she doesn't understand, that I want that to. I want that more than I want air right about now. Our situation comes with complications that the normal person couldn't even think about handling. They look at me and say I have to be strong. Oh, but you have no idea.
How does one not be strong? I need her in my life right now. I know what it's like to live without her and that's not a life I want to go back to. If I had to lose her now, I would lose everything that I have worked for. So hard, for so long. I care so much for her. To say that I would walk through fire to protect her, I mean it. I would sdo just about anything to keep a smile on her face. I have been so slefless when it comes to her. I pray for her happiness everytime I get the chance. I wish on 11:11 and on shooting stars that somehow, in some way, her life be fixed. That she finds some way to be happy. This is all I want for her. I wish that I could help her, that I could be her Superman. that I could some how, in some way, save her from the misery she has been forced to spend her life in.
I don't know what else to do or say. Nothing short of I love that girl and I wish that I could have her here with me, forever. But I never seem to get what I want no matter how hard I pray and beg for it. I just want her. I love Pio, not tha tI want him back, and Martin. That was one of the biggest downfalls of my life. And, I lived. Just to be put into her arms. And, now I don't want to let her go.
She looked at me today and told me that she wants to be the one that she wakes up to every single day. She wishes that I was the one she could kiss and say good morning to. The one that falls asleep on her chest at night. the one standing by her side. How she doesn't understand, that I want that to. I want that more than I want air right about now. Our situation comes with complications that the normal person couldn't even think about handling. They look at me and say I have to be strong. Oh, but you have no idea.
How does one not be strong? I need her in my life right now. I know what it's like to live without her and that's not a life I want to go back to. If I had to lose her now, I would lose everything that I have worked for. So hard, for so long. I care so much for her. To say that I would walk through fire to protect her, I mean it. I would sdo just about anything to keep a smile on her face. I have been so slefless when it comes to her. I pray for her happiness everytime I get the chance. I wish on 11:11 and on shooting stars that somehow, in some way, her life be fixed. That she finds some way to be happy. This is all I want for her. I wish that I could help her, that I could be her Superman. that I could some how, in some way, save her from the misery she has been forced to spend her life in.
I don't know what else to do or say. Nothing short of I love that girl and I wish that I could have her here with me, forever. But I never seem to get what I want no matter how hard I pray and beg for it. I just want her. I love Pio, not tha tI want him back, and Martin. That was one of the biggest downfalls of my life. And, I lived. Just to be put into her arms. And, now I don't want to let her go.