(no subject)
Derek broke up with me. It's 2:55am and I feel so awful. He kept saying he wasn't breaking up with me, it was that he was getting stronger feelings as time went on, but the distance was killing him so he wasn't sure to end it now, cause it'd hurt, or end it later, cause it would hurt even more then. I understand where he's coming from, I do....but I wasn't ready to let go yet...I'm still ready to plan and work around schedules and spending oodles of gas money to get to boston and him here to manch all the time.
this really kinda blows...and it hurts too.
and can i just say that I now have a personal reason to hate the "promise me we'll still be friends?" line. No you douche, I can't really switch gears like that...from when we met, March 31st, we were never friends...and who can really make that promise? Yes, I agree we can still enjoy eachother as friends because we still have the same personalities..but what about kissing you? or hugging you? and all that personal stuff. You won't hold me like you used to, when I felt so safe and content and happy. And what about the touching? I don't mean sexually and I'm not talkig about PDA cause I hate that...but how affectionate you were. No one is affectionate towards me...its like I'm untouchable..not in a good way. I'm the hugger in life not the hug..i? What I mean is you really cared like no one has before and it realy sucks that its over because of living in different states. And how coud you expect me to promise that we might be able to get together down the road again? I can't promise something like that. Not to mention, what would change? I'm not moving anytime soon and you're sure as hell not.
I'm talking to you like you read this but you dont..you vaguely know it exists.
im done ,livejournal, i feel awfully shitty and its now 3 something in the morning and im working at 8:30am.
:(
this really kinda blows...and it hurts too.
and can i just say that I now have a personal reason to hate the "promise me we'll still be friends?" line. No you douche, I can't really switch gears like that...from when we met, March 31st, we were never friends...and who can really make that promise? Yes, I agree we can still enjoy eachother as friends because we still have the same personalities..but what about kissing you? or hugging you? and all that personal stuff. You won't hold me like you used to, when I felt so safe and content and happy. And what about the touching? I don't mean sexually and I'm not talkig about PDA cause I hate that...but how affectionate you were. No one is affectionate towards me...its like I'm untouchable..not in a good way. I'm the hugger in life not the hug..i? What I mean is you really cared like no one has before and it realy sucks that its over because of living in different states. And how coud you expect me to promise that we might be able to get together down the road again? I can't promise something like that. Not to mention, what would change? I'm not moving anytime soon and you're sure as hell not.
I'm talking to you like you read this but you dont..you vaguely know it exists.
im done ,livejournal, i feel awfully shitty and its now 3 something in the morning and im working at 8:30am.
:(