posted
At this time last year I was in Japan packing my things. I was worrying about the classes to be planned, the children to be taught, the plane tickets to be bought and how I would spend my final days in a country that I very warmly called home. The summer was relentlessly hot, and the cicadas outside hummed their echoing melody with a humming vibration that elapsed throughout the entire Niigata countryside.
I used to open my tatami window and stare at the tree that served as my little view into my little corner of mother nature. In the spring she bloomed with pink sakura blossoms, and in summer she flourished with the life of the hot, humid, Japanese temperature. Between packing boxes and folding clothes into a suitcase, I took my moment of rest to stare out this window and think about the passage of time. The tatami floor below me felt cool underneath my feet, a glass of wheat barley tea perspired on the desk nearby. When I first came here I was so young, but now I felt so much older. When I was little I remember reading about Japan in books, and the thought of coming here one day to live was like some fairy tale come true. Two years came and went with both happiness and disappointments scattered throughout, but in the end I held nothing but love for this little village that took me in as one of their own.
I became Japanese in those two years. Even now people often tell me that I'm Japanese, though I'd like to deny it I often find myself at a loss for words when this comment is thrown at me. It's true. In Japanese society I felt a bond and compassion, and although many parts of their culture didn't quite match with my upbringing, I somehow learned to understand.
The day I left my home in Niigata was the heaviest weight my heart has ever had to carry. My students gave me flowers as I wore the yukata they bought for me, and they hugged me with tears begging me not to leave. Oh, how I didn't want to leave... Niigata is my home...
A year has passed, and although time has flown by it feels as if years have passed since I left the world of Japan. From Niigata I hopped to America, and from America I found myself in a new world full of challenges, surprises, and a bonding that I never could have imagined possible. In Beijing I felt a warmth that I didn't want to let go of. There's so much ugliness in China, but in every Chinese friend I had, in the eyes of my teachers that truly cared about me, in the their passion for life I found new meaning in my own.
Walking through the Tsinghua campus was the most peaceful time of my life. I felt so free and open; for the first time I felt like I truly belonged somewhere and I dreaded the day when I would have to leave. The day I left Beijing is imprinted on my soul, a scar of the heart that will never heal much like the one I inflicted upon myself when I said farewell to Japan.
A breakup, a plethora of farewells, a handful of new encounters, broken promises and a new life. I was handed all of these things with my ticket to Shanghai.
The skyscrapers of Shanghai reach the heavens, and the view of the bund is like some magical dream. When I lived in my hometown of Price, never did I imagine that the world would be waiting for me. Never did I once think that I would be starring at a world of wonder in Shanghai, looking at the view of the bund with hope and aspiration for the future. Even a few years ago the thought of speaking Chinese felt impossible, yet here I am bargaining with the locals, pouring my heart out to my roommate and conducting business in a language i never thought I would learn.
I walk the streets of Shanghai and feel like I'm at home.
"Mary, you are comfortable living their life. You are suited for that kind of lifestyle."
My mom said these words to me while I was living in the United States. Sometimes the words that come out of my mother's mouth are so spot on, so full of truth and reason that I begin to doubt I really know my mother at all.
Buying vegetables on the street, having a baozi for breakfast, seeing the everyday life of the Chinese and feeling the passion of life sound throughout the air was like music to my ears. This is a lifestyle I could never find in America nor Japan, and it was one I wanted so badly. I want to walk the neighborhood with my roommate, talk to her in Chinese about love and hope, and eat watermelon during the summer heat while laughing about life. I want to eat food around a table with my Chinese friends and know that they love me, and feel the warmth of their friendship fuel me to move forward.
I want to try my hardest for work while I search for my path in life. I know I'm going in the right direction, and i feel nothing but hot anticipation for the challenges awaiting me. I want to work with fervor and desire, I want to give meaning to my life and learn about the world through language and travel. I want to keep Japan and America in my heart with China all around me.
How can so much happen in such a short amount of time?
I looked out my window. The bird underneath my windowsill began to coo, the eggs beneath her warmed by the feathers of her bosom. I saw neighbors across from hang laundry on long metal poles and put them out to dry in the burning hot sun of the Shanghai summer. I saw neighbors downstairs laughing and chatting, a pengpeng car drove by after delivering their first guest of the day, and beyond me was a world called Shanghai that I now called home.
Tonight I was watching a Japanese drama on Youku. My mind was totally in Japanese, the drama had me squealing and jumping like a high school teenager and before I knew it, it came to a close. After the credits rolled, Chinese advertisements quickly followed. I watched the advertisements with wonder, and in a split second my brain switched back to Mandarin.
Life is a mystery. How did I become like this? How did I come from a small town in Utah to a bed in Shanghai, to a point where my mind works in Japanese, switches to Chinese, yet the soul within lies in three different places?
Life is just beginning for me. I feel full of vigor, and I thank god, my friend, my family--everybody for leading me on the right path. In America I was driven mad by decisions and a wavering heart, but without a doubt I know that I chose correctly. I walked side by side with my roommate today, looking at her small stature like a small treasure i was meant to protect. She's tiny and petite, but her walk and posture beam of p
I used to open my tatami window and stare at the tree that served as my little view into my little corner of mother nature. In the spring she bloomed with pink sakura blossoms, and in summer she flourished with the life of the hot, humid, Japanese temperature. Between packing boxes and folding clothes into a suitcase, I took my moment of rest to stare out this window and think about the passage of time. The tatami floor below me felt cool underneath my feet, a glass of wheat barley tea perspired on the desk nearby. When I first came here I was so young, but now I felt so much older. When I was little I remember reading about Japan in books, and the thought of coming here one day to live was like some fairy tale come true. Two years came and went with both happiness and disappointments scattered throughout, but in the end I held nothing but love for this little village that took me in as one of their own.
I became Japanese in those two years. Even now people often tell me that I'm Japanese, though I'd like to deny it I often find myself at a loss for words when this comment is thrown at me. It's true. In Japanese society I felt a bond and compassion, and although many parts of their culture didn't quite match with my upbringing, I somehow learned to understand.
The day I left my home in Niigata was the heaviest weight my heart has ever had to carry. My students gave me flowers as I wore the yukata they bought for me, and they hugged me with tears begging me not to leave. Oh, how I didn't want to leave... Niigata is my home...
A year has passed, and although time has flown by it feels as if years have passed since I left the world of Japan. From Niigata I hopped to America, and from America I found myself in a new world full of challenges, surprises, and a bonding that I never could have imagined possible. In Beijing I felt a warmth that I didn't want to let go of. There's so much ugliness in China, but in every Chinese friend I had, in the eyes of my teachers that truly cared about me, in the their passion for life I found new meaning in my own.
Walking through the Tsinghua campus was the most peaceful time of my life. I felt so free and open; for the first time I felt like I truly belonged somewhere and I dreaded the day when I would have to leave. The day I left Beijing is imprinted on my soul, a scar of the heart that will never heal much like the one I inflicted upon myself when I said farewell to Japan.
A breakup, a plethora of farewells, a handful of new encounters, broken promises and a new life. I was handed all of these things with my ticket to Shanghai.
The skyscrapers of Shanghai reach the heavens, and the view of the bund is like some magical dream. When I lived in my hometown of Price, never did I imagine that the world would be waiting for me. Never did I once think that I would be starring at a world of wonder in Shanghai, looking at the view of the bund with hope and aspiration for the future. Even a few years ago the thought of speaking Chinese felt impossible, yet here I am bargaining with the locals, pouring my heart out to my roommate and conducting business in a language i never thought I would learn.
I walk the streets of Shanghai and feel like I'm at home.
"Mary, you are comfortable living their life. You are suited for that kind of lifestyle."
My mom said these words to me while I was living in the United States. Sometimes the words that come out of my mother's mouth are so spot on, so full of truth and reason that I begin to doubt I really know my mother at all.
Buying vegetables on the street, having a baozi for breakfast, seeing the everyday life of the Chinese and feeling the passion of life sound throughout the air was like music to my ears. This is a lifestyle I could never find in America nor Japan, and it was one I wanted so badly. I want to walk the neighborhood with my roommate, talk to her in Chinese about love and hope, and eat watermelon during the summer heat while laughing about life. I want to eat food around a table with my Chinese friends and know that they love me, and feel the warmth of their friendship fuel me to move forward.
I want to try my hardest for work while I search for my path in life. I know I'm going in the right direction, and i feel nothing but hot anticipation for the challenges awaiting me. I want to work with fervor and desire, I want to give meaning to my life and learn about the world through language and travel. I want to keep Japan and America in my heart with China all around me.
How can so much happen in such a short amount of time?
I looked out my window. The bird underneath my windowsill began to coo, the eggs beneath her warmed by the feathers of her bosom. I saw neighbors across from hang laundry on long metal poles and put them out to dry in the burning hot sun of the Shanghai summer. I saw neighbors downstairs laughing and chatting, a pengpeng car drove by after delivering their first guest of the day, and beyond me was a world called Shanghai that I now called home.
Tonight I was watching a Japanese drama on Youku. My mind was totally in Japanese, the drama had me squealing and jumping like a high school teenager and before I knew it, it came to a close. After the credits rolled, Chinese advertisements quickly followed. I watched the advertisements with wonder, and in a split second my brain switched back to Mandarin.
Life is a mystery. How did I become like this? How did I come from a small town in Utah to a bed in Shanghai, to a point where my mind works in Japanese, switches to Chinese, yet the soul within lies in three different places?
Life is just beginning for me. I feel full of vigor, and I thank god, my friend, my family--everybody for leading me on the right path. In America I was driven mad by decisions and a wavering heart, but without a doubt I know that I chose correctly. I walked side by side with my roommate today, looking at her small stature like a small treasure i was meant to protect. She's tiny and petite, but her walk and posture beam of p