(no subject)
Ok so it has been awhile since I've updated, I will admit this. I just haven't had the time truthfully. Well the past week has been one helluva ride for me and I am not really sure where I should begin on that subject truthfully. Tuesday was horrible. My lovey dovey punkin poo had a malicious fight with his nefarious step mother, and that didn't go to well. Wednesday was just blah. Like nothing happened and that was about it. Thursday rolls around and all hell breaks loose. My baby's malicious step mom decides to call me and tell me I owe her 125 dollars to pay for half of a phone bill because my cell phone is long distance when he calls me. So, with those events happening I hadn't heard from him since thursday until today when he called me after school. Saturday was just another blah day, although I do admit that when I used my crafty ways of twisting words and thinking illogically, I convinced my step mother to meet with my mommy and daddy. Well that was to happen sunday, and it did don't get me wrong, but with all the wrong things added into it. It was suppose to be pleasant, and the main goal was to come up with a regular schedule to see my father. Well my step mom attacked my mom and they started attacking eachother and that didn't go over too pretty. That and my dad virtually said that he did not care about me and he hadn't had the time for me and still doesn't it. Maybe he doesn't realize what those words can do to someone like me. I never had my dad. Him telling me he didn't have time for me, even after 14 years made me want to shoot myself. Not saying that I will, I find that totally biligerous in trying to generate and probable and reasonable solution to my problems. If not anything else, I wish I could just go to sleep and not wake up for awhile. I want to be able to sleep until my senior year in highschool when I know that I will be able to make my own choices and my own mistakes without anyone trying to hold my hand the way through like my parents and other relatives do. I don't need my hand held, I need someone I can relate to and truthfully, I have yet to find someone with even the slightess understanding of what it is like to here your dad say "I just don't have time, I rather go fishing!" So this has driven me into wanting to sleep. Sleep gets me away and allows me to dream accordingly to my happy spots. I had the most wonderful dream last night about going to france and I truthfully believe that is what made me realize that sleeping seems alot cooler than being awake. So yeah, this is my complaining for the past week. I hope tonight I get to visit Russia in my dreams...