resignation letter
to some people who are living in hell in the workplace.
here's an actual resignation letter by a friend to his boss.
Dear Boss,
Please accept my resignation from this company effective (1 month from the date of filing). As honesty is a virtue, I have considerable pleasure telling you what a torture it was working under your supervision. Not a day goes by that I miss the excruciating pain of seeing your fungus-marked face, hearing your toad-like voice, and expecting a myriad of barking orders that only house elves in Harry Potter’s world would delight in understanding.
Writing this letter is the only silver lining in an otherwise gloomy working environment under your command. Remembering my first few days at work, I was half-excited, half-terrified, I know you were expecting me to perform just enough to merit me the position I applied for. And I kept in mind that I am able, willing, and capable to justify you hiring me. But it was all downhill since then. I can not for the life of me remember a day that is not fully terrifying. You expect me to stand up to the lofty expectations you have set and yet I felt that you only want your people to shiver and quiver every time a word leaves your foul mouth.
Yes, it feels really good to be home. I now dread leaving the comfort of our homes to go to the prison you dare call your office. At least the real prisoners get the chance to dance and be seen by the world. And it looks like they are having fun. This prison you have set has no semblance of fun at all. At least some of the people are actually funny. And the only real fun we have had was the times you missed the jokes we shared, and the times we turned you into a joke.
You are a sick person and an even sicker boss. I understand that you have been thrust in a position you merely dream about and had no previous experience in actually handling whatsoever. And so you did what any intelligent scientist will do, you resorted to trial and error, with us as your subjects. But you forget that we are humans and not guinea pigs, and that we can not perform magic, and that we do not understand the gobbledygook you seem to utter every effing day. If you wanted miracles, you should have hired Judiel Nieva of Agoo fame, although I doubt if you can convince him not to come in the office in dresses more flamboyant than the set you tend to wear.
I have been an effective employee prior to working with this department and I was wondering what the hell I did wrong that I am now feeling incapable of excellence. But you see? I am writing this letter in an exemplary fashion. If you do not still get it, I wrote this excellent letter because I feel a flood of liberating happiness, of exhilarating relief, and of finally counting the remaining days under your ineptitude and blundering ways.
I do not feel any remorse leaving this office. My only regret is I will not see the day people here finally realize the great fraud that you actually are.
Sincerely yours before but no more,
an employee
here's an actual resignation letter by a friend to his boss.
Dear Boss,
Please accept my resignation from this company effective (1 month from the date of filing). As honesty is a virtue, I have considerable pleasure telling you what a torture it was working under your supervision. Not a day goes by that I miss the excruciating pain of seeing your fungus-marked face, hearing your toad-like voice, and expecting a myriad of barking orders that only house elves in Harry Potter’s world would delight in understanding.
Writing this letter is the only silver lining in an otherwise gloomy working environment under your command. Remembering my first few days at work, I was half-excited, half-terrified, I know you were expecting me to perform just enough to merit me the position I applied for. And I kept in mind that I am able, willing, and capable to justify you hiring me. But it was all downhill since then. I can not for the life of me remember a day that is not fully terrifying. You expect me to stand up to the lofty expectations you have set and yet I felt that you only want your people to shiver and quiver every time a word leaves your foul mouth.
Yes, it feels really good to be home. I now dread leaving the comfort of our homes to go to the prison you dare call your office. At least the real prisoners get the chance to dance and be seen by the world. And it looks like they are having fun. This prison you have set has no semblance of fun at all. At least some of the people are actually funny. And the only real fun we have had was the times you missed the jokes we shared, and the times we turned you into a joke.
You are a sick person and an even sicker boss. I understand that you have been thrust in a position you merely dream about and had no previous experience in actually handling whatsoever. And so you did what any intelligent scientist will do, you resorted to trial and error, with us as your subjects. But you forget that we are humans and not guinea pigs, and that we can not perform magic, and that we do not understand the gobbledygook you seem to utter every effing day. If you wanted miracles, you should have hired Judiel Nieva of Agoo fame, although I doubt if you can convince him not to come in the office in dresses more flamboyant than the set you tend to wear.
I have been an effective employee prior to working with this department and I was wondering what the hell I did wrong that I am now feeling incapable of excellence. But you see? I am writing this letter in an exemplary fashion. If you do not still get it, I wrote this excellent letter because I feel a flood of liberating happiness, of exhilarating relief, and of finally counting the remaining days under your ineptitude and blundering ways.
I do not feel any remorse leaving this office. My only regret is I will not see the day people here finally realize the great fraud that you actually are.
Sincerely yours before but no more,
an employee