Avengers: Endgame Review~
I have extremely mixed feelings on this one.
I went into Endgame trying to keep an open mind. I had read leaks - one of them matched up a lot with the movie - and watched the 5-minute leaked footage video. I told myself, don't expect Gamora to come back. Don't expect a happy ending for your favorites.
I was still blindsided by the ending. I really wasn't expecting it, and was in complete and total shock that Tony died. I would've bet my entire checking account balance on Tony living and retiring, and Steve dying. It felt so surreal. A lot of this movie felt really surreal. If I could use one word to describe it, that's what it would be. Or 'bizarre.'
There are things I like about this movie and things that I don't. I'm still trying to work my way through how I feel about it, but right, as a whole, I'm dissatisfied. And you know what? I'm allowed to be. It was Fanservice: The Movie, so I get why people like it. I don't think I'm smarter than people for thinking the plot is kind of dumb - but I do think the plot is dumb. Markus and McFeely shouldn't write any more MCU movies. I'm really tired of their tropes, illogical plots, and how they treat women.
If pressed, I would say that Infinity War had better pacing and plot. But as a whole, I don't like either of them. Heroes' 5 Years Gone handled this kind of story 1000 times better, IMO.
I'll just get into specifics:
What I liked:
+ The fun time travel parts. The heist section with Tony and Scott working together, and Loki gets the Tesseract, is one of my favorite sequences. I actually didn't mind Steve fighting himself. I thought that would be really dumb when I saw the leaked footage, but it was exciting and the humor in it worked for me, especially present!Steve's beleagured sigh when past!Steve said, "I could do this all day." On a surface level, I liked Tony talking to his dad.
+ Thor talking to Frigga. It was the one time I genuinely liked Thor since Ragnarok. Maybe it's because their conversation was a callback to TDW. It went back to the quieter vibe I got from TDW, and I really appreciated seeing Frigga again. It was also nice to get a glimpse of Jane again too, though a shame that there was only 20 seconds of her.
+ The final battle, up until the aftermath of Tony's Snap. It's thrilling and has a lot of great moments in it. It was cool to see all the heroes together on screen, fighting against past!Thanos and his army. It is not perfect, but parts of it did wow me, and it's truly epic.
+ Scott seeing the memorials, seeing that kid on the bike - yeah, that kid's seen some shit - and Scott reuniting with Cassie. It was a sweet moment that was needed to counterbalance the angst in the beginning
I used to have nothing. And then I get this. This job. This family.
+ NATASHA IS SO GREAT IN THIS! She was determined and hard-working, but also had an air of 'fuck this shit I'm tired,' especially when she was talking to Steve when he visited her. Nat just felt so relatable and inspriring, especially in how she was soldiering on, taking up point as the Avenger on Earth while keeping in contact with the 'post-Snap Avengers.' Scarlett put in her absolute best performance in here, and even though I haven't always approved of her role choices, I thought she knocked it out of the park
+ I really appreciate that past!Thanos was a 1-dimensional shitlord. One of the reasons I really don't like IW is that it went out of its way to humanize Thanos and I was like, don't care. I couldn't give less of a shit about his sob story, or that he felt sooo bad about murdering Gamora. I just hated him, but a lot of people kept going on and on about how he was so ~complex~ and ~developed~ and ~didn't want to kill people~ and I was like nah. So the lazy, sadistic, spiteful Thanos who was like 'fuck it I'll kill everyone!' was great to me. He was like a Gears of War villain, and that's what I wanted him to be in IW. I love that he was like, 'Yeah I'm just gonna sit over here and you do the work,' to past!Nebula. He's not a philosopher or a martyr; he's a lazy, entitled cult leader, and one of the good things that came out of this movie are fanboys - well, some of them, anyway - realizing he's not that deep and shouldn't be considered a role model. If people are that fucking dumb to buy into his bullshit, then I'm glad they got slapped in the face with 1d lazy grape.
+ Quill dancing in the GotG callback was nice. The music cutting out and hm singing to himself got a genuine laugh out of me.
+ Ruffalo's comedic timing and acting as Bruce felt a lot more natural to me than in IW. The visual gag where Professor Hulk half-heartedly throws stuff in 2012 NYC did make me laugh. I also thought it was sweet that Professor Hulk offered Scott tacos. That was a fun, nice little scene. I also liked that Ruffalo got to be serious during Bruce's scene with the Ancient One. It was a nice, quiet scene. I liked it.
+ Thematically, for her character, from a Watsonian perspective, Nebula had a solid character arc. She faced off herself and denounced her demons while saving past!Gamora, and Nebula got a lot more screentime and pathos than I thought she would. I really like her line to past!Gamora about how they fought, but then, eventually, they became sisters
Rest in peace, Tony
+ Tony Stark has a heart - and had the best arc in Endgame, as well as the entire MCU. My favorite Tony moment was when he broke down after he got back to Earth. He let out years of pent-up frustration, betrayal, and anguish. And I love that AoU was referenced. It's a phenomenal moment and I wouldn't be mad if RDJ got an Oscar nod, simply because of this scene. It's one of the few times I genuinely felt distress for a character in the movie. RDJ killed it from start to finish and everything about Tony was excellent (until, well...) Rest in peace, Tony. He will be missed.
+ Past!Gamora saving both Clint and Quill was great. Zoe did a great job reverting back to how she acted in GotG: her microexpressions, her rigid demeanor. I liked the moment when Thanos touched her hair and she bowed down because she felt uncomfortable (Get your hands off her, you piece of shit!) I appreciate that past!Gamora rejected Thanos and left him just like Gamora in GotG did
+ Quill's reaction to seeing past Gamora and saying "I thought I lost you." I'm not really a Pratt fan these days, but he puts his all into the character, and his reaction to seeing AU Gamora felt genuine. I like that AU Gamora saved him and the wide shot of them on the battlefield of them was nice (but Pratt looking over Zoe's head is a little distracting.)
+ Wanda and Carol were great in their moments during the final fight. I loved seeing Wanda use her magic to start torturing Thanos, telling him he took everything from her. It's a very cathartic moment - I was yelling "Kill him!" and it was thrilling watching Carol punch through his ship, as well as taking a beating from the gauntlet. She wasn't even fazed; he had to use the Power Stone against her!
+ Rhodey and Nebula bonding over being part machine was nice.
What I didn't like:
- A rat saving the entire universe was cheap and lazy IMO.
- Aside from Ruffalo's better comedic timing and the tacos scene, I'm not a fan of how Professor Hulk was handled. We didn't even get to see how he got to that point, it was glossed over so quickly. Joss Whedon has his flaws, but I think he understands and cares about Bruce/Hulk far more than M&M and Russos do - yeah, it's probably because Whedon projects onto Bruce more than M&M/Russos do, but Bruce and Hulk were way better characters in Avengers and AoU. I cringed when Hulk dabbed
- Speaking of that scene, the selfie gag went way too long. It kept going, and going, and it wasn't even funny to start with. I'm perplexed that Feige allowed this to be kept in, after he likely saw all the criticism toward the 2-minute gags in Vol. 2. This one was unecessary, and should've been in the deleted scenes. Same goes for Scott aging and deaging. It went on a little too long.
- The first 30 minutes dragged for me. I get that the pacing had to be slower, but unlike in Vol. 2, the first 30 minutes bored me. Also, I saw some great discussion on failmeme about the post-Snap worldbuilding and how inconsistent it is. It feels half-assed, and only glosses the surface of how people would react to so many people disappearing. Peter's high school looks completely fine at the end, and everyone looks okay with having 3.5 billion people pop back into existence. There's got to be many people who moved on, got married, and then their dusted spouse pops back into existence.
- That's why I wanted the Snap in Endgame to revert back to 2018, before IW. I really thought that was going to happen because all the post-Snap stuff was so weird. And, personally, I'm tired of characters dying. I stopped watching Game of Throne and stopped reading ASoiaF because it just got increasingly more dour and I was like, why bother reading/watching about these characters if any of them can die off? Real life is already a slog and I want escapism, fun, and happy endings in fiction. Plus, this would have been a better FUCK YOU to Thanos and it would've avoided the problem of all those people around the universe moving on then having to deal with their dead loved ones popping back into their lives.
- Edgelord weaboo Hawkeye was so cringy. I wish he'd died instead of Nat. While she spent the past 5 years working to rebuild the world and working with the new Avengers, Hawkeye was running around murdering people... and then she gives up her life while he gets rewarded with his family. Hey kids, if you are a boy you can murder as man people as you want and have a family. If you are a girl then you can spend years helping others after you killed people but that's not good enough, you need to kill yourself and be trapped in an orange hellscape forever, because that's what you deserve. Fuck off forever, Markus and McFeely and Russos. The editing in WeebEye's fight scene sucked too. The guy he killed was standing and said his last words, then it cut right to Clint standing over his body. Laaaaazy.
- Laura calling Clint right after Hulk snapped - yeah, this is bullshit. I couldn't suspend my disbelief enough to buy that Clint kept paying the phone bill for 5 years. Just have the number be a link to an easter egg number with a voice mail and show Clint saying, "Honey?" The audience would get it's his wife.
- I used to like Pepperony, but Civil War killed it for me, and it's done nothing for me ever since. Still couldn't buy it in Endgame. It feels so devoid of passion. I would've been fine with Pepperony if they either stayed broken up, or if they had never broken up. It felt very convenient for them to suddenly go on a break in CW, then him proposing to her as a... back-up when Spidey declined the conference in Homecoming. Anyway, none of Tony and Pepper's issues felt resolved to me. And Tony is much more interesting when he's having a breakdown, or doing the heist in 2012. It felt, again, bizarre to see him talking his kid, and his scene with Pepper just felt very... bland. Like she was talking about compost, and he was talking about figuring out time travel and I was like, why did they get back together? The only time I felt a spark between them was when they were fighting back-to-back as Rescue and Iron Man - but it was only for a few seconds. I just... don't really see farm life as a happy ending for him, however temporary. It felt odd to me. I get that people have this idyllic view of living far from civilization and settling down, it's very romantic, but to me it just felt so weird.
- Last 10 minutes killed all the steadily increasing goodwill I had toward the movie. Right before Tony snapped and died, I would've rated it a 7/10. Not the best, but I would've walked out mostly satisfied; the only things I would've been really pissed off about were Nat's death, Nebula having to kill herself instead of Thanos, and Gamora being reset. Then Tony died, and then Nat didn't have a funeral, and Thor joined the Guardians (UGH), and Steve fucked off and went back in time to be with Peggy which just... felt very 'straight men wrote this' to me. She only functions as an object and reward for Steve. She doesn't even say anything audible, not even when Steve was staring at her.
Drive safely, Howard and Maria :)
- They should've just said MULTIVERSE instead of time travel. They set that up in Doctor Strange. I think it would've been easy to handwave if Steve hadn't gone back. The writers and directors can't even agree on their own time travel rules. They spent all that time dissing other time-travel movies, yet they can't even make sense of their own rules and ending. You really have to turn your brain off to like this movie... and IW... and Civil War... In all of those movies, the writers just threw in a bunch of convenient plot points, and the Russos stick to their muddy or grey color palette while prioritizing Rule of Cool and Subversion over characterization and themes. The theme in IW is 'kill your loved one to be viewed as a hero,' and the theme in Endgame is 'kill yourself to be a hero' and I... don't like getting those messages in superhero movies. Yes, Groot, Yondu, Yinsen, and Quicksilver sacrificed themselves previously, but it felt like those weren't the only themes in their respective movies. It is not a great message to tell kids that if they have PTSD they should kill themselves, because that will save other people.
- While there are some good action shots in the final battle in Endgame, it was really obvious to me that the lighting was so dark to cut corners on CGI. The color palette was really muddy and ugly
- Into the Spider-Verse handled the multiverse, and its themes, incredibly well, while being great character studies and being visually engaging the whole way through and having a tight plot, great villain, fanservice and being inspirational without all the edgelord bs. It is far better than Endgame, and it's a shame that the mediocre movie pummelled the box office, and will likely never be topped.
- 'Eat a salad.' Shitty way to end the nice moment between Thor and his mom.
- When thinking about Tony talking to his dad, I realized that M&M did it again: they romanticized and absolved a bad dad. Idk why they insist on doing that so much. With Yondu I bought it, because Yondu literally gave up his life for Peter and he knew it wasn't enough to erase all the bad things he did, especially to Peter. Howard is nowhere near as bad of a dad as Ego and Thanos, but... Howard was still neglectful and it creeps me out a little that I did buy into the rose-colored glasses' view toward him. The acting and dialogue were great, but thinking about it more, it makes me cringe.
- I really hate Nat's death. In text, it's not fridging, but out of text, it absolutely is. Nat is a woman who can't have kids, so the male writers put her out to pasture in the middle of the movie, did an unintentionally hilarious fight scene between her and Clint - I just couldn't take the entire scene seriously, Vormir looked like trash this time, and I felt bad for Nat, because I've seen the scene ridiculed and dismissed a lot, due to its poor framing and feeling repetitive. Yes, Nat gave up her life and soul which was a direct parallel to Gamora's abuser murdering her... but that doesn't make me feel any better, because both female characters were killed off by white men, for manpain.
- The rest of the movie pretty much ignored Nat, after 2 minutes of manpain. Someone on tumblr pointed out that Nebula has worked with Nat for 5 years - how come Nebula doesn't get to hear that Nat died, but the focus is on Nebula mourning Tony, whom she'd only known for a month? I love Tony, but Nat ended up getting the short end of the stick. I suppose it's because she's getting a movie, and yes it's that shithead Perlmutter's fault for it taking MCU so long to do it, but... why kill her off at all? Yes, she got to choose, but it still feels gross to me, as does her being shoved aside after the fact. The direct parallel between her and Gamora grosses me out so much. That the male writers singled out both of the only women in the first MCU teams, to toss them over a cliff for manpain both times, is just... not grate Bob. I've seen the Russos redirect the choice to kill Nat onto a female writer - I think it's bs, I'm pretty sure the writers said it was always part of theri plan - but I think the Russos wanted to do it too. I really hope they don't do Avengers 5; I don't want to see Hope, Shuri, or Carol tossed off a cliff so men will look sad.
- Past Gamora replacing OG Gamora bothers me a lot. It took me a while to process - during the movie I was just happy to see her again, no matter what - but after thinking about it, I couldn't shake my discomfort at her being replaced with a new version, who hasn't experienced the same things OG Gamora did. 2014 Gamora was great, but... I want the one I've known and loved for 3 movies back. It feels so lazy to reset her. I'm hoping Gunn will handle it well, but I'm bracing myself for a copy-paste arc in Vol. 3 of 'new Gamora rejects Quill over and over, until some contrived thing happens and she's stuck with the Guardians, then suddenly she likes Quill and makes out with him in the last 5 minutes for a schmaltzy ending.' It just seems set up to hand over 2014 Gamora as a consolation prize for Quill, while OG's character arc amounted to nothing (she saved Xandar? Fuck her, Xandar got wrecked. She had growth and loved her family? Fuck her, the white male writers couldn't think of anything else to do but reset her to repeat her arc.) Who knows, maybe Gunn will handle it right. Right now, I still don't like it. This feels different than Diana/Sigma in ZTD and Victor/Sierra in Dollhouse. It feels off to me, it feels creepy. If Chris Pratt walked up to me and said, "I dated another version of you for years and she died, soo wanna go on a date with me?" I would be creeped out. I'm really hoping Gunn figures out some way to make it palatable, like 2014 Gamora and Warlock go into sould world together and he helps he merge a part of OG Gamor's soul - setting up Nat's soul to be retrieved as well. That's probably not going to happen, but it's a nice thought.
- Anyway, 2014 Gamora was great in a vacuum, but the broader implications of her replacing OG Gamora leaves me really cold. I feel completely out of step with Starmora fandom; everyone's happy to have a new version of Gamora, but I'm still bummed we lost 'our' Gamora and to me, the new one is not the same. 2014 Nebula made a different choice in Endgame than 'our' Nebula did. Experiences shape who you are, and the power dynamics in Quill and new Gamora's relationship just squicks me out. He would know everything about her and would always be 4 years ahead of her. She'd be wondering if she has free will at all, or if she has to date him, and doesn't have the opportunity to say no. It's a shame I'm not excited about my OTP being endgame in their last movie, because I know their scenes will look really nice, and it will be Starmora, but... just not the way I wanted. It feels cheap and lazy, and has a lot of insidious sexist vibes to it, treating Gamora as a doll for Quill because 'well of course she would want him back - the hero has to get the girl!' It feels like she's just being set up to make him happy, there's a lot of uncomfortable vibes of Quill grooming her into fucking him because the implication is, "Hey, another version of you fucked me, but she ended up being defective, so she died and now I'm sad. But now that you're here, I don't have to process her death, so... fuck me, please?" Gross. I'm also really tired of most of the Starmora fandom trying to shout down everyone who is uncomfortable with this, and trying to twist OG Gamora getting fridged and replaced, as some pure, Feminist progressive, brilliant writing. No, I don't have to agree with that. I think it's lazy and shoves Gamora into 'object' status and romanticizes ripping away her agency so she becomes a dude's consolation prize. Sure, new Gamora might look happy at the end of Vol. 3 - just like Rachel did when she gave up her dream job to stay with her emotionally abusive, entitled ex - but I'll always wish that OG Gamora could have busted out of the soul stone with Nat, and that OG Gamora reunited with Peter. Gamora would've retained her memories, wouldn't have to go through a lazy speed run of her arc all over again, and she would've had an actual great arc of healing, instead of her happy ending being taken from her and instantly handed to another version of her. If new Gamora gets OG Gamora's memories, then sure, this will be fine, but I don't see that happening and this is one of the reasons I'm not as excited about Vol. 3. I'm bracing for it to be more like 50 First Dates and Eternal Sunshine, both romanticized creepy scenarios that glorify entitled men getting rewarded, rather than Super. I'd rather Gunn go in that direction and keep new Gamora and Quill as friends, if new Gamora doesn't get OG Gamora's memories.
- Peggy didn't talk at all, because of course she didn't. She's supposed to viewed as an object, a prize Steve won. Grossed me out. Steve should've died, and Tony should've lived to be in a more Nick Fury role. I will never not think their conclusions were both Edgelord ~subversive~ cheap bullshit. The memes that came out of Steve fucking up the timeline are great, though
- Nebula's arc gives me mixed feelings. Karen sold the hell out of both versions of Nebula, but OG Nebula was kidnapped and tortured again, then killed her past self instead of Thanos. From a Doyleist pov, it feels reallly transparent to me that the writers had her kill herself, so that would be cathartic for the audience, thus denying her kiling her abuser and getting justice for Gamora, which is what I wanted to see. Also, Nebula closing his eyes in the beginning made me feel sick. There was way too much sympathy given to Gamora's murderer, far more than for her. OG Gamora ended up being treated as an object in IW, and being treated as an afterthought in Endgame. Nebula barely spoke about her; when she mentioned Gamora was murdered, it was followed up by a joke - LOL so funny when a man murders a woman!!!! - and Nebula didn't even go looking for Gamora's body. It's like she never mattered, and only her 2014 version does
- None of the Guardians mentioned Gamora at the end. Nope, they're all happy and back to normal, excited about a knife fight and just... seem to have forgotten Gamora even existed. I get it, I get that if you show a funeral, audiences will be confused, but how about showing the Guardians looking somber instead of joking around and Thor is the one who looks out of place while he's cracking jokes, while everyone is like, looking at Gamora's empty seat or something and they look sad? OG Gamora ended up getting completely shafted in IW and Endgame, and I will never be okay with that. It was disgusting and disrespectful and it's one of the main reasons I don't like either IW and Endgame. She got treated like trash and I will never be fine with that.
- Idk if I should say I didn't like nu Thor or not, because I still don't like him and had a visceral DNW reaction to him joining the Guardians at the end, but... in a way, this came off as similar to the Thanos thing, where I was like "Yup, this is who he really is." To all the people who are complaining about it, I'm thinking, well, they bought into the abuser's pov too much in IW, and they all wanted Thor to be a joke when they all praised Ragnarok. So congratulations, you played yourselves." This version of Thor is a logical trajectory of the rebooted Thor in Ragnarok, and I'm amused to see people so disatisfied with it and acting like Taika was robbed. Did they not see Korg? Hemsworth WANTS Thor to be a joke now; I don't know how people misconstrue that. He didn't like IW!Thor's arc. Taika and Hemsworth prefer Endgame!Thor. They approved of it. So this is what all his stans get for calling the lazy GotG ripoff that is Ragnarok a 'masterpiece.' I really hope Thor fucks off and leaves the Guardians after the first 10 minutes.
Vol. 3 hopes/speculation
It's a shame that I have way less hype for Vol. 3 now, because it was my most anticipated MCU movie, even more than IW and Endgame. I'm coming to terms with the fact that it won't be the movie I had hoped for, but here are the scenarios I'm thinking of anyway, because although I have negative feelings toward it, I still care about it:
Best case scenario:
+ Quill doesn't try to groom Gamora into getting with him. He doesn't chase her down; she runs into the Guardians. He curbs his desires and matures from IW. He puts her choices before his wants. He doesn't get rewarded with sex or a kiss just for being sad, if new Gamora doesn't get OG Gamora's memories/soul. He's competent, mature, well-rounded, patient, funny, and not just the buttmonkey
+ Gamora gets to be her own person, and goes through an arc of destiny vs. free will. She interacts more with the other Guardians - not just Peter or Nebula. She gets a memorable fight scene, and a couple great one-liners. She attempts to fit in with the GotG, but it's really awkward so she leaves. Then when all looks bleak for the Guardians, she comes back to save them. In the end, she decides to merge OG Gamora's soul - or memories - with hers, wih Adam's help
+ Rocket takes a step back because I feel like he's been given so much focus already. I used to want to see his backstory, but I don't think I'll learn anything new about him. I'm not as interested in him as I used to be and I'd prefer it if he took a backseat. I get that he's the most popular character, but I don't want his arc to consume the entire movie just because he sells the most toys
+ Mantis gets an arc of being more assertive, gets trained in combat by Nebula, they fall in love and become the first canon gay romance seen together on screen in the MCU
+ Nebula gets to share conversations with the other Guardians, has an arc with Mantis, gets cool fight scenes and has a mini arc with Gamora - I love them together, but I feel like we've seen their arc twice now, so rehashing it would be unecessary for this movie. I'd be satisfied with them sharing a couple scenes and reconnecting, then fighting with each other.
+ Drax desperately needs cool fight scenes, and it would be great if he got a serious mini arc about feeling listless after Thanos is defeated. I'd like it if he got a mini arc of blaming Quill for not letting him go after Thanos on Knowhere - like in the IW deleted scene - then realized he was taking his frustration of failure out on Quill
+ Tween Groot is absolutely going to grow into King Groot, and it's going to be amazing. This is the one thing I have no concerns about and it's going to be an epic moment
+ Thor's in a ton of the marketing and shares a fight with the GotG in the first 10 mins. Then he says, "Welp I'm out," and leaves, teasing Thor 4
+ Warlock starts off as Magus and ends up befriending the Guardians, turning on Ayesha and the Sovereign while the GotG help him defeat them
+ Since the multiverse is canon, one of my ideas before IW was that a bunch of wormholes to other dimensions would be opened - possibly by Adam - and the Guardians would have to close them
+ NOBODY DIES. Except Ayesha, that's fine with me. I'd prefer it if all the Guardian lived, and I would love it if they have a dance party at the end, combined with 'September' by Earth, Wind and Fire, and Peter dancing with Gamora after she merged OG Gamora's memories with hers - I used to want the last scene to be their wedding, but I think even if Gamora does get her memories back, it would be too soon and a bit too schmaltzy.
+ I still want the last 2 lines to be Nebula saying something, then Rocket, then King Groot saying, "I am Groot." It would fit in nicely with the Guardians' each getting a last line in each of their movies
Middling case senario (Mixed bag), realistic expectations:
~ Peter finds new Gamora, she threatens to kick him again, they're interrupted by Magus and then Gamora ends up getting stuck with the Guardians. Peter keeps chipping away at new Gamora's walls, they share another dance/romantic moment, and they speed run through their arc in GotG and Vol. 2. No merging of souls or memories. New Gamora falls for Quill and they make out at the end. Peter gets a couple serious moments - he'll definitely get at least one badass moment - but he's still the buttmonkey, and his lack of responsibility/patience goes unaddressed
~ Gamora gets a fight scene, but it's pretty standard/unmemorable. She struggles for all of 2 minutes about destiny vs. her free will, then she falls for Quill anyway in the last 5 minutes. She talks to Nebula, and they share a funny scene in which she asks for advice on whether she should get with Quill.
~ Rocket is still very integral to the story; second act is Guardians going to Halfworld, still in search of Gamora. Lots of new Easter eggs, they might meet a couple of new Guardians there - Gunn's hinted at including Quasar - and they face down Rocket's creator as a miniboss
~ Mantis is really cute and has a couple great one-liners, but her combat involvement is putting a couple bad guys to sleep, and she's not given much focus
~ Nebula gets some really great one-liners and gets a good combat scene, but is largely a tertiary character who doesn't have much of an arc
~ Drax is funny and has better one-liners than in Vol. 2, but his combat is pretty standard, lasts all of 2 minutes, and he's not given much focus
~ Tween Groot becomes King Groot and it's awesome
~ Thor stays a lot longer than 10 minutes - he might bow out half-way through after helping in the fght against Rocket's creator(s), but in the first half there's a lot of bickering between him and Quill, then suddenly they make up and are bros, and Thor peaces out to tease Thor 4. Korg and Miek make a short cameo
~ Warlock/Magus isn't given a ton of focus, but looks cool and is more of a tease at the new Guardians' lineup. He still goes from antagonist (Magus) to ally (Warlock).
~ There is a tease at one point of Gamora being attracted to Adam or Thor, and Peter gets jealous again for laughs
~ Rocket dies saving his family. He's now the most popular Guardian, and Gunn would likely kill him to prevent anyone else messing with him, going forward. I think Gunn's more protective of Rocket than any of the other Guardians, and it would be thematically resonant for him to kill 'himself' off in the last GotG movie. This would also fit the rumors that people who read the script cried, and Feige knows that the audience is masochistic. I also saw a rumor that Quill was originally slated to die in the first draft, but it getting changed to Rocket makes more sense to me.
~ Guardians decide to disband at the end; it's bittersweet like Vol. 2, but they share a toast or something. Post-credits scene show Quill and Gamora meeting his grandfather on Earth. King Groot (and Rocket, if he lives), joins Warlock, Beta Ray Bill, and Thor to tease Asguardians of the Galaxy. If Drax lives, he and Mantis visit his homeworld. Nebula either takes off on her own, joins the new lineup, or goes with Quill and Gamora to Earth.
Worst case scenario (because I hate myself):
- Quill's arc is handled completley wrong. He cracks more jokes and is still immature, rather than being a competent team player, much less leader. He's super creepy toward new Gamora while it's framed as funny and romantic. He gets rewarded with her at the end after he has absolutely no growth at all (Ross syndrome).
- Gamora's arc is completely copy pasted over from GotG and Vol. 2, except that instead of her going through it in a couple months, this time it takes her 1 day. She suddenly falls for Peter at the end and makes out with him, rewarding him while OG Gamora stays kicked aside, eternally damned
- Rocket gets most of the focus, is the smartest, funniest, and the plot revolves around Halfworld and his origin instead of Adam/Magus. Rocket's creator is the big bad
- Mantis doesn't get any combat at all. She just says a couple of funny lines and that's it
- Nebula is the 'straight man' of the group and has a couple good moments with new Gamora, but aside from that she isn't given much to do
- Drax is strictly comic relief, gets more bad one liners about poop and penises, and laughs a lot. Goes back to insulting Mantis for laughs. Barely gets a minute of combat
- Tween Groot becomes King Groot, and it's hailed as the best moment in the movie
- Thor stays the entire time and gets an arc, overshadowing Drax and Mantis
- I saw a rumor that Beta Ray Bill will be in Vol. 3, so I imagine his role in the movie would be to act as a commercial for Thor 4, which is prioritized over Mantis getting an arc
- Warlock/Magus isn't used much, if at all, and is mostly just there to be a commercial for the new Guardians' lineup
- More 2-minute unfunny gags
- Drax and Nebula die - funeral scene at the end, it's not handled as well as Yondu's was, or feels cheap because it's trying to imitate Yondu's funeral. Guardians disband, and Asgardians of the Galaxy are teased in a post-credits scene
Whew, that's all I've got now! I've still got a lot of reservations about Vol. 3, but typing all that out helped me compartamentalize things and realize, these movies are supposed to be for fun. If I'm feeling so negative about Vol. 3, I should find things in the meantime that make me happy. I flew off the handle after seeing Endgame, so I'm taking a break from fandom. I think that will help me gain perspective. I don't think I will ever like the idea of new Gamora ending up with Quill without OG Gamora's memories, but at least knowing that's a possibility, helps me temper my expectations. I went into Vol. 2 with realistic expectations and enjoyed it, so I will try to do the same for Vol. 3. I got really mad at Gunn because I thought he helped sign off on Gamora getting killed off and being reset, but I realized that that might have been out of his hands, so maybe he'll handle this differently than Groot and Yondu and merge OG Gamora's memories with new Gamora. I don't want the movie to suck; I hope Gunn proves me wrong and makes me eat all my words and reservations.
The one silver lining is that Markus and McFeely and Russos aren't going anywhere near Vol. 3!
Updated ranking:
Quality
1. Captain America: The Winter Soldier
2. Iron Man
3. Guardians of the Galaxy
4. Black Panther
5. The Avengers
6. Spider-Man: Homecoming
7. Captain America: Civil War
8. Thor: Ragnarok
9. Avengers: Infinity War
10. Doctor Strange
11. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
12. Avengers: Age of Ultron
13. Ant-Man
14. Iron Man 3
15. Captain Marvel
16. Thor
17. Avengers: Endgame
18. Ant-Man and the Wasp
19. Captain America: The First Avenger
20. Iron Man 2
21. Thor: The Dark World
22. The Incredible Hulk
Preference
1. Guardians of the Galaxy
2. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
3. Iron Man
4. The Avengers
5. Black Panther
6. Captain Marvel
7. Thor
8. Iron Man 3
9. Ant-Man and the Wasp
10. Ant-Man
11. Thor: The Dark World
12. Avengers: Age of Ultron
13. Spider-Man: Homecoming
14. Captain America: The Winter Soldier
15. Iron Man 2
16. Captain America: The First Avenger
17. Avengers: Infinty War
18. Avengers: Endgame
19. Captain America: Civil War
20. The Incredible Hulk
21. Doctor Strange
22. Thor: Ragnarok
I went into Endgame trying to keep an open mind. I had read leaks - one of them matched up a lot with the movie - and watched the 5-minute leaked footage video. I told myself, don't expect Gamora to come back. Don't expect a happy ending for your favorites.
I was still blindsided by the ending. I really wasn't expecting it, and was in complete and total shock that Tony died. I would've bet my entire checking account balance on Tony living and retiring, and Steve dying. It felt so surreal. A lot of this movie felt really surreal. If I could use one word to describe it, that's what it would be. Or 'bizarre.'
There are things I like about this movie and things that I don't. I'm still trying to work my way through how I feel about it, but right, as a whole, I'm dissatisfied. And you know what? I'm allowed to be. It was Fanservice: The Movie, so I get why people like it. I don't think I'm smarter than people for thinking the plot is kind of dumb - but I do think the plot is dumb. Markus and McFeely shouldn't write any more MCU movies. I'm really tired of their tropes, illogical plots, and how they treat women.
If pressed, I would say that Infinity War had better pacing and plot. But as a whole, I don't like either of them. Heroes' 5 Years Gone handled this kind of story 1000 times better, IMO.
I'll just get into specifics:
What I liked:
+ The fun time travel parts. The heist section with Tony and Scott working together, and Loki gets the Tesseract, is one of my favorite sequences. I actually didn't mind Steve fighting himself. I thought that would be really dumb when I saw the leaked footage, but it was exciting and the humor in it worked for me, especially present!Steve's beleagured sigh when past!Steve said, "I could do this all day." On a surface level, I liked Tony talking to his dad.
+ Thor talking to Frigga. It was the one time I genuinely liked Thor since Ragnarok. Maybe it's because their conversation was a callback to TDW. It went back to the quieter vibe I got from TDW, and I really appreciated seeing Frigga again. It was also nice to get a glimpse of Jane again too, though a shame that there was only 20 seconds of her.
+ The final battle, up until the aftermath of Tony's Snap. It's thrilling and has a lot of great moments in it. It was cool to see all the heroes together on screen, fighting against past!Thanos and his army. It is not perfect, but parts of it did wow me, and it's truly epic.
+ Scott seeing the memorials, seeing that kid on the bike - yeah, that kid's seen some shit - and Scott reuniting with Cassie. It was a sweet moment that was needed to counterbalance the angst in the beginning
I used to have nothing. And then I get this. This job. This family.
+ NATASHA IS SO GREAT IN THIS! She was determined and hard-working, but also had an air of 'fuck this shit I'm tired,' especially when she was talking to Steve when he visited her. Nat just felt so relatable and inspriring, especially in how she was soldiering on, taking up point as the Avenger on Earth while keeping in contact with the 'post-Snap Avengers.' Scarlett put in her absolute best performance in here, and even though I haven't always approved of her role choices, I thought she knocked it out of the park
+ I really appreciate that past!Thanos was a 1-dimensional shitlord. One of the reasons I really don't like IW is that it went out of its way to humanize Thanos and I was like, don't care. I couldn't give less of a shit about his sob story, or that he felt sooo bad about murdering Gamora. I just hated him, but a lot of people kept going on and on about how he was so ~complex~ and ~developed~ and ~didn't want to kill people~ and I was like nah. So the lazy, sadistic, spiteful Thanos who was like 'fuck it I'll kill everyone!' was great to me. He was like a Gears of War villain, and that's what I wanted him to be in IW. I love that he was like, 'Yeah I'm just gonna sit over here and you do the work,' to past!Nebula. He's not a philosopher or a martyr; he's a lazy, entitled cult leader, and one of the good things that came out of this movie are fanboys - well, some of them, anyway - realizing he's not that deep and shouldn't be considered a role model. If people are that fucking dumb to buy into his bullshit, then I'm glad they got slapped in the face with 1d lazy grape.
+ Quill dancing in the GotG callback was nice. The music cutting out and hm singing to himself got a genuine laugh out of me.
+ Ruffalo's comedic timing and acting as Bruce felt a lot more natural to me than in IW. The visual gag where Professor Hulk half-heartedly throws stuff in 2012 NYC did make me laugh. I also thought it was sweet that Professor Hulk offered Scott tacos. That was a fun, nice little scene. I also liked that Ruffalo got to be serious during Bruce's scene with the Ancient One. It was a nice, quiet scene. I liked it.
+ Thematically, for her character, from a Watsonian perspective, Nebula had a solid character arc. She faced off herself and denounced her demons while saving past!Gamora, and Nebula got a lot more screentime and pathos than I thought she would. I really like her line to past!Gamora about how they fought, but then, eventually, they became sisters
Rest in peace, Tony
+ Tony Stark has a heart - and had the best arc in Endgame, as well as the entire MCU. My favorite Tony moment was when he broke down after he got back to Earth. He let out years of pent-up frustration, betrayal, and anguish. And I love that AoU was referenced. It's a phenomenal moment and I wouldn't be mad if RDJ got an Oscar nod, simply because of this scene. It's one of the few times I genuinely felt distress for a character in the movie. RDJ killed it from start to finish and everything about Tony was excellent (until, well...) Rest in peace, Tony. He will be missed.
+ Past!Gamora saving both Clint and Quill was great. Zoe did a great job reverting back to how she acted in GotG: her microexpressions, her rigid demeanor. I liked the moment when Thanos touched her hair and she bowed down because she felt uncomfortable (Get your hands off her, you piece of shit!) I appreciate that past!Gamora rejected Thanos and left him just like Gamora in GotG did
+ Quill's reaction to seeing past Gamora and saying "I thought I lost you." I'm not really a Pratt fan these days, but he puts his all into the character, and his reaction to seeing AU Gamora felt genuine. I like that AU Gamora saved him and the wide shot of them on the battlefield of them was nice (but Pratt looking over Zoe's head is a little distracting.)
+ Wanda and Carol were great in their moments during the final fight. I loved seeing Wanda use her magic to start torturing Thanos, telling him he took everything from her. It's a very cathartic moment - I was yelling "Kill him!" and it was thrilling watching Carol punch through his ship, as well as taking a beating from the gauntlet. She wasn't even fazed; he had to use the Power Stone against her!
+ Rhodey and Nebula bonding over being part machine was nice.
What I didn't like:
- A rat saving the entire universe was cheap and lazy IMO.
- Aside from Ruffalo's better comedic timing and the tacos scene, I'm not a fan of how Professor Hulk was handled. We didn't even get to see how he got to that point, it was glossed over so quickly. Joss Whedon has his flaws, but I think he understands and cares about Bruce/Hulk far more than M&M and Russos do - yeah, it's probably because Whedon projects onto Bruce more than M&M/Russos do, but Bruce and Hulk were way better characters in Avengers and AoU. I cringed when Hulk dabbed
- Speaking of that scene, the selfie gag went way too long. It kept going, and going, and it wasn't even funny to start with. I'm perplexed that Feige allowed this to be kept in, after he likely saw all the criticism toward the 2-minute gags in Vol. 2. This one was unecessary, and should've been in the deleted scenes. Same goes for Scott aging and deaging. It went on a little too long.
- The first 30 minutes dragged for me. I get that the pacing had to be slower, but unlike in Vol. 2, the first 30 minutes bored me. Also, I saw some great discussion on failmeme about the post-Snap worldbuilding and how inconsistent it is. It feels half-assed, and only glosses the surface of how people would react to so many people disappearing. Peter's high school looks completely fine at the end, and everyone looks okay with having 3.5 billion people pop back into existence. There's got to be many people who moved on, got married, and then their dusted spouse pops back into existence.
- That's why I wanted the Snap in Endgame to revert back to 2018, before IW. I really thought that was going to happen because all the post-Snap stuff was so weird. And, personally, I'm tired of characters dying. I stopped watching Game of Throne and stopped reading ASoiaF because it just got increasingly more dour and I was like, why bother reading/watching about these characters if any of them can die off? Real life is already a slog and I want escapism, fun, and happy endings in fiction. Plus, this would have been a better FUCK YOU to Thanos and it would've avoided the problem of all those people around the universe moving on then having to deal with their dead loved ones popping back into their lives.
- Edgelord weaboo Hawkeye was so cringy. I wish he'd died instead of Nat. While she spent the past 5 years working to rebuild the world and working with the new Avengers, Hawkeye was running around murdering people... and then she gives up her life while he gets rewarded with his family. Hey kids, if you are a boy you can murder as man people as you want and have a family. If you are a girl then you can spend years helping others after you killed people but that's not good enough, you need to kill yourself and be trapped in an orange hellscape forever, because that's what you deserve. Fuck off forever, Markus and McFeely and Russos. The editing in WeebEye's fight scene sucked too. The guy he killed was standing and said his last words, then it cut right to Clint standing over his body. Laaaaazy.
- Laura calling Clint right after Hulk snapped - yeah, this is bullshit. I couldn't suspend my disbelief enough to buy that Clint kept paying the phone bill for 5 years. Just have the number be a link to an easter egg number with a voice mail and show Clint saying, "Honey?" The audience would get it's his wife.
- I used to like Pepperony, but Civil War killed it for me, and it's done nothing for me ever since. Still couldn't buy it in Endgame. It feels so devoid of passion. I would've been fine with Pepperony if they either stayed broken up, or if they had never broken up. It felt very convenient for them to suddenly go on a break in CW, then him proposing to her as a... back-up when Spidey declined the conference in Homecoming. Anyway, none of Tony and Pepper's issues felt resolved to me. And Tony is much more interesting when he's having a breakdown, or doing the heist in 2012. It felt, again, bizarre to see him talking his kid, and his scene with Pepper just felt very... bland. Like she was talking about compost, and he was talking about figuring out time travel and I was like, why did they get back together? The only time I felt a spark between them was when they were fighting back-to-back as Rescue and Iron Man - but it was only for a few seconds. I just... don't really see farm life as a happy ending for him, however temporary. It felt odd to me. I get that people have this idyllic view of living far from civilization and settling down, it's very romantic, but to me it just felt so weird.
- Last 10 minutes killed all the steadily increasing goodwill I had toward the movie. Right before Tony snapped and died, I would've rated it a 7/10. Not the best, but I would've walked out mostly satisfied; the only things I would've been really pissed off about were Nat's death, Nebula having to kill herself instead of Thanos, and Gamora being reset. Then Tony died, and then Nat didn't have a funeral, and Thor joined the Guardians (UGH), and Steve fucked off and went back in time to be with Peggy which just... felt very 'straight men wrote this' to me. She only functions as an object and reward for Steve. She doesn't even say anything audible, not even when Steve was staring at her.
Drive safely, Howard and Maria :)
- They should've just said MULTIVERSE instead of time travel. They set that up in Doctor Strange. I think it would've been easy to handwave if Steve hadn't gone back. The writers and directors can't even agree on their own time travel rules. They spent all that time dissing other time-travel movies, yet they can't even make sense of their own rules and ending. You really have to turn your brain off to like this movie... and IW... and Civil War... In all of those movies, the writers just threw in a bunch of convenient plot points, and the Russos stick to their muddy or grey color palette while prioritizing Rule of Cool and Subversion over characterization and themes. The theme in IW is 'kill your loved one to be viewed as a hero,' and the theme in Endgame is 'kill yourself to be a hero' and I... don't like getting those messages in superhero movies. Yes, Groot, Yondu, Yinsen, and Quicksilver sacrificed themselves previously, but it felt like those weren't the only themes in their respective movies. It is not a great message to tell kids that if they have PTSD they should kill themselves, because that will save other people.
- While there are some good action shots in the final battle in Endgame, it was really obvious to me that the lighting was so dark to cut corners on CGI. The color palette was really muddy and ugly
- Into the Spider-Verse handled the multiverse, and its themes, incredibly well, while being great character studies and being visually engaging the whole way through and having a tight plot, great villain, fanservice and being inspirational without all the edgelord bs. It is far better than Endgame, and it's a shame that the mediocre movie pummelled the box office, and will likely never be topped.
- 'Eat a salad.' Shitty way to end the nice moment between Thor and his mom.
- When thinking about Tony talking to his dad, I realized that M&M did it again: they romanticized and absolved a bad dad. Idk why they insist on doing that so much. With Yondu I bought it, because Yondu literally gave up his life for Peter and he knew it wasn't enough to erase all the bad things he did, especially to Peter. Howard is nowhere near as bad of a dad as Ego and Thanos, but... Howard was still neglectful and it creeps me out a little that I did buy into the rose-colored glasses' view toward him. The acting and dialogue were great, but thinking about it more, it makes me cringe.
- I really hate Nat's death. In text, it's not fridging, but out of text, it absolutely is. Nat is a woman who can't have kids, so the male writers put her out to pasture in the middle of the movie, did an unintentionally hilarious fight scene between her and Clint - I just couldn't take the entire scene seriously, Vormir looked like trash this time, and I felt bad for Nat, because I've seen the scene ridiculed and dismissed a lot, due to its poor framing and feeling repetitive. Yes, Nat gave up her life and soul which was a direct parallel to Gamora's abuser murdering her... but that doesn't make me feel any better, because both female characters were killed off by white men, for manpain.
- The rest of the movie pretty much ignored Nat, after 2 minutes of manpain. Someone on tumblr pointed out that Nebula has worked with Nat for 5 years - how come Nebula doesn't get to hear that Nat died, but the focus is on Nebula mourning Tony, whom she'd only known for a month? I love Tony, but Nat ended up getting the short end of the stick. I suppose it's because she's getting a movie, and yes it's that shithead Perlmutter's fault for it taking MCU so long to do it, but... why kill her off at all? Yes, she got to choose, but it still feels gross to me, as does her being shoved aside after the fact. The direct parallel between her and Gamora grosses me out so much. That the male writers singled out both of the only women in the first MCU teams, to toss them over a cliff for manpain both times, is just... not grate Bob. I've seen the Russos redirect the choice to kill Nat onto a female writer - I think it's bs, I'm pretty sure the writers said it was always part of theri plan - but I think the Russos wanted to do it too. I really hope they don't do Avengers 5; I don't want to see Hope, Shuri, or Carol tossed off a cliff so men will look sad.
- Past Gamora replacing OG Gamora bothers me a lot. It took me a while to process - during the movie I was just happy to see her again, no matter what - but after thinking about it, I couldn't shake my discomfort at her being replaced with a new version, who hasn't experienced the same things OG Gamora did. 2014 Gamora was great, but... I want the one I've known and loved for 3 movies back. It feels so lazy to reset her. I'm hoping Gunn will handle it well, but I'm bracing myself for a copy-paste arc in Vol. 3 of 'new Gamora rejects Quill over and over, until some contrived thing happens and she's stuck with the Guardians, then suddenly she likes Quill and makes out with him in the last 5 minutes for a schmaltzy ending.' It just seems set up to hand over 2014 Gamora as a consolation prize for Quill, while OG's character arc amounted to nothing (she saved Xandar? Fuck her, Xandar got wrecked. She had growth and loved her family? Fuck her, the white male writers couldn't think of anything else to do but reset her to repeat her arc.) Who knows, maybe Gunn will handle it right. Right now, I still don't like it. This feels different than Diana/Sigma in ZTD and Victor/Sierra in Dollhouse. It feels off to me, it feels creepy. If Chris Pratt walked up to me and said, "I dated another version of you for years and she died, soo wanna go on a date with me?" I would be creeped out. I'm really hoping Gunn figures out some way to make it palatable, like 2014 Gamora and Warlock go into sould world together and he helps he merge a part of OG Gamor's soul - setting up Nat's soul to be retrieved as well. That's probably not going to happen, but it's a nice thought.
- Anyway, 2014 Gamora was great in a vacuum, but the broader implications of her replacing OG Gamora leaves me really cold. I feel completely out of step with Starmora fandom; everyone's happy to have a new version of Gamora, but I'm still bummed we lost 'our' Gamora and to me, the new one is not the same. 2014 Nebula made a different choice in Endgame than 'our' Nebula did. Experiences shape who you are, and the power dynamics in Quill and new Gamora's relationship just squicks me out. He would know everything about her and would always be 4 years ahead of her. She'd be wondering if she has free will at all, or if she has to date him, and doesn't have the opportunity to say no. It's a shame I'm not excited about my OTP being endgame in their last movie, because I know their scenes will look really nice, and it will be Starmora, but... just not the way I wanted. It feels cheap and lazy, and has a lot of insidious sexist vibes to it, treating Gamora as a doll for Quill because 'well of course she would want him back - the hero has to get the girl!' It feels like she's just being set up to make him happy, there's a lot of uncomfortable vibes of Quill grooming her into fucking him because the implication is, "Hey, another version of you fucked me, but she ended up being defective, so she died and now I'm sad. But now that you're here, I don't have to process her death, so... fuck me, please?" Gross. I'm also really tired of most of the Starmora fandom trying to shout down everyone who is uncomfortable with this, and trying to twist OG Gamora getting fridged and replaced, as some pure, Feminist progressive, brilliant writing. No, I don't have to agree with that. I think it's lazy and shoves Gamora into 'object' status and romanticizes ripping away her agency so she becomes a dude's consolation prize. Sure, new Gamora might look happy at the end of Vol. 3 - just like Rachel did when she gave up her dream job to stay with her emotionally abusive, entitled ex - but I'll always wish that OG Gamora could have busted out of the soul stone with Nat, and that OG Gamora reunited with Peter. Gamora would've retained her memories, wouldn't have to go through a lazy speed run of her arc all over again, and she would've had an actual great arc of healing, instead of her happy ending being taken from her and instantly handed to another version of her. If new Gamora gets OG Gamora's memories, then sure, this will be fine, but I don't see that happening and this is one of the reasons I'm not as excited about Vol. 3. I'm bracing for it to be more like 50 First Dates and Eternal Sunshine, both romanticized creepy scenarios that glorify entitled men getting rewarded, rather than Super. I'd rather Gunn go in that direction and keep new Gamora and Quill as friends, if new Gamora doesn't get OG Gamora's memories.
- Peggy didn't talk at all, because of course she didn't. She's supposed to viewed as an object, a prize Steve won. Grossed me out. Steve should've died, and Tony should've lived to be in a more Nick Fury role. I will never not think their conclusions were both Edgelord ~subversive~ cheap bullshit. The memes that came out of Steve fucking up the timeline are great, though
- Nebula's arc gives me mixed feelings. Karen sold the hell out of both versions of Nebula, but OG Nebula was kidnapped and tortured again, then killed her past self instead of Thanos. From a Doyleist pov, it feels reallly transparent to me that the writers had her kill herself, so that would be cathartic for the audience, thus denying her kiling her abuser and getting justice for Gamora, which is what I wanted to see. Also, Nebula closing his eyes in the beginning made me feel sick. There was way too much sympathy given to Gamora's murderer, far more than for her. OG Gamora ended up being treated as an object in IW, and being treated as an afterthought in Endgame. Nebula barely spoke about her; when she mentioned Gamora was murdered, it was followed up by a joke - LOL so funny when a man murders a woman!!!! - and Nebula didn't even go looking for Gamora's body. It's like she never mattered, and only her 2014 version does
- None of the Guardians mentioned Gamora at the end. Nope, they're all happy and back to normal, excited about a knife fight and just... seem to have forgotten Gamora even existed. I get it, I get that if you show a funeral, audiences will be confused, but how about showing the Guardians looking somber instead of joking around and Thor is the one who looks out of place while he's cracking jokes, while everyone is like, looking at Gamora's empty seat or something and they look sad? OG Gamora ended up getting completely shafted in IW and Endgame, and I will never be okay with that. It was disgusting and disrespectful and it's one of the main reasons I don't like either IW and Endgame. She got treated like trash and I will never be fine with that.
- Idk if I should say I didn't like nu Thor or not, because I still don't like him and had a visceral DNW reaction to him joining the Guardians at the end, but... in a way, this came off as similar to the Thanos thing, where I was like "Yup, this is who he really is." To all the people who are complaining about it, I'm thinking, well, they bought into the abuser's pov too much in IW, and they all wanted Thor to be a joke when they all praised Ragnarok. So congratulations, you played yourselves." This version of Thor is a logical trajectory of the rebooted Thor in Ragnarok, and I'm amused to see people so disatisfied with it and acting like Taika was robbed. Did they not see Korg? Hemsworth WANTS Thor to be a joke now; I don't know how people misconstrue that. He didn't like IW!Thor's arc. Taika and Hemsworth prefer Endgame!Thor. They approved of it. So this is what all his stans get for calling the lazy GotG ripoff that is Ragnarok a 'masterpiece.' I really hope Thor fucks off and leaves the Guardians after the first 10 minutes.
Vol. 3 hopes/speculation
It's a shame that I have way less hype for Vol. 3 now, because it was my most anticipated MCU movie, even more than IW and Endgame. I'm coming to terms with the fact that it won't be the movie I had hoped for, but here are the scenarios I'm thinking of anyway, because although I have negative feelings toward it, I still care about it:
Best case scenario:
+ Quill doesn't try to groom Gamora into getting with him. He doesn't chase her down; she runs into the Guardians. He curbs his desires and matures from IW. He puts her choices before his wants. He doesn't get rewarded with sex or a kiss just for being sad, if new Gamora doesn't get OG Gamora's memories/soul. He's competent, mature, well-rounded, patient, funny, and not just the buttmonkey
+ Gamora gets to be her own person, and goes through an arc of destiny vs. free will. She interacts more with the other Guardians - not just Peter or Nebula. She gets a memorable fight scene, and a couple great one-liners. She attempts to fit in with the GotG, but it's really awkward so she leaves. Then when all looks bleak for the Guardians, she comes back to save them. In the end, she decides to merge OG Gamora's soul - or memories - with hers, wih Adam's help
+ Rocket takes a step back because I feel like he's been given so much focus already. I used to want to see his backstory, but I don't think I'll learn anything new about him. I'm not as interested in him as I used to be and I'd prefer it if he took a backseat. I get that he's the most popular character, but I don't want his arc to consume the entire movie just because he sells the most toys
+ Mantis gets an arc of being more assertive, gets trained in combat by Nebula, they fall in love and become the first canon gay romance seen together on screen in the MCU
+ Nebula gets to share conversations with the other Guardians, has an arc with Mantis, gets cool fight scenes and has a mini arc with Gamora - I love them together, but I feel like we've seen their arc twice now, so rehashing it would be unecessary for this movie. I'd be satisfied with them sharing a couple scenes and reconnecting, then fighting with each other.
+ Drax desperately needs cool fight scenes, and it would be great if he got a serious mini arc about feeling listless after Thanos is defeated. I'd like it if he got a mini arc of blaming Quill for not letting him go after Thanos on Knowhere - like in the IW deleted scene - then realized he was taking his frustration of failure out on Quill
+ Tween Groot is absolutely going to grow into King Groot, and it's going to be amazing. This is the one thing I have no concerns about and it's going to be an epic moment
+ Thor's in a ton of the marketing and shares a fight with the GotG in the first 10 mins. Then he says, "Welp I'm out," and leaves, teasing Thor 4
+ Warlock starts off as Magus and ends up befriending the Guardians, turning on Ayesha and the Sovereign while the GotG help him defeat them
+ Since the multiverse is canon, one of my ideas before IW was that a bunch of wormholes to other dimensions would be opened - possibly by Adam - and the Guardians would have to close them
+ NOBODY DIES. Except Ayesha, that's fine with me. I'd prefer it if all the Guardian lived, and I would love it if they have a dance party at the end, combined with 'September' by Earth, Wind and Fire, and Peter dancing with Gamora after she merged OG Gamora's memories with hers - I used to want the last scene to be their wedding, but I think even if Gamora does get her memories back, it would be too soon and a bit too schmaltzy.
+ I still want the last 2 lines to be Nebula saying something, then Rocket, then King Groot saying, "I am Groot." It would fit in nicely with the Guardians' each getting a last line in each of their movies
Middling case senario (Mixed bag), realistic expectations:
~ Peter finds new Gamora, she threatens to kick him again, they're interrupted by Magus and then Gamora ends up getting stuck with the Guardians. Peter keeps chipping away at new Gamora's walls, they share another dance/romantic moment, and they speed run through their arc in GotG and Vol. 2. No merging of souls or memories. New Gamora falls for Quill and they make out at the end. Peter gets a couple serious moments - he'll definitely get at least one badass moment - but he's still the buttmonkey, and his lack of responsibility/patience goes unaddressed
~ Gamora gets a fight scene, but it's pretty standard/unmemorable. She struggles for all of 2 minutes about destiny vs. her free will, then she falls for Quill anyway in the last 5 minutes. She talks to Nebula, and they share a funny scene in which she asks for advice on whether she should get with Quill.
~ Rocket is still very integral to the story; second act is Guardians going to Halfworld, still in search of Gamora. Lots of new Easter eggs, they might meet a couple of new Guardians there - Gunn's hinted at including Quasar - and they face down Rocket's creator as a miniboss
~ Mantis is really cute and has a couple great one-liners, but her combat involvement is putting a couple bad guys to sleep, and she's not given much focus
~ Nebula gets some really great one-liners and gets a good combat scene, but is largely a tertiary character who doesn't have much of an arc
~ Drax is funny and has better one-liners than in Vol. 2, but his combat is pretty standard, lasts all of 2 minutes, and he's not given much focus
~ Tween Groot becomes King Groot and it's awesome
~ Thor stays a lot longer than 10 minutes - he might bow out half-way through after helping in the fght against Rocket's creator(s), but in the first half there's a lot of bickering between him and Quill, then suddenly they make up and are bros, and Thor peaces out to tease Thor 4. Korg and Miek make a short cameo
~ Warlock/Magus isn't given a ton of focus, but looks cool and is more of a tease at the new Guardians' lineup. He still goes from antagonist (Magus) to ally (Warlock).
~ There is a tease at one point of Gamora being attracted to Adam or Thor, and Peter gets jealous again for laughs
~ Rocket dies saving his family. He's now the most popular Guardian, and Gunn would likely kill him to prevent anyone else messing with him, going forward. I think Gunn's more protective of Rocket than any of the other Guardians, and it would be thematically resonant for him to kill 'himself' off in the last GotG movie. This would also fit the rumors that people who read the script cried, and Feige knows that the audience is masochistic. I also saw a rumor that Quill was originally slated to die in the first draft, but it getting changed to Rocket makes more sense to me.
~ Guardians decide to disband at the end; it's bittersweet like Vol. 2, but they share a toast or something. Post-credits scene show Quill and Gamora meeting his grandfather on Earth. King Groot (and Rocket, if he lives), joins Warlock, Beta Ray Bill, and Thor to tease Asguardians of the Galaxy. If Drax lives, he and Mantis visit his homeworld. Nebula either takes off on her own, joins the new lineup, or goes with Quill and Gamora to Earth.
Worst case scenario (because I hate myself):
- Quill's arc is handled completley wrong. He cracks more jokes and is still immature, rather than being a competent team player, much less leader. He's super creepy toward new Gamora while it's framed as funny and romantic. He gets rewarded with her at the end after he has absolutely no growth at all (Ross syndrome).
- Gamora's arc is completely copy pasted over from GotG and Vol. 2, except that instead of her going through it in a couple months, this time it takes her 1 day. She suddenly falls for Peter at the end and makes out with him, rewarding him while OG Gamora stays kicked aside, eternally damned
- Rocket gets most of the focus, is the smartest, funniest, and the plot revolves around Halfworld and his origin instead of Adam/Magus. Rocket's creator is the big bad
- Mantis doesn't get any combat at all. She just says a couple of funny lines and that's it
- Nebula is the 'straight man' of the group and has a couple good moments with new Gamora, but aside from that she isn't given much to do
- Drax is strictly comic relief, gets more bad one liners about poop and penises, and laughs a lot. Goes back to insulting Mantis for laughs. Barely gets a minute of combat
- Tween Groot becomes King Groot, and it's hailed as the best moment in the movie
- Thor stays the entire time and gets an arc, overshadowing Drax and Mantis
- I saw a rumor that Beta Ray Bill will be in Vol. 3, so I imagine his role in the movie would be to act as a commercial for Thor 4, which is prioritized over Mantis getting an arc
- Warlock/Magus isn't used much, if at all, and is mostly just there to be a commercial for the new Guardians' lineup
- More 2-minute unfunny gags
- Drax and Nebula die - funeral scene at the end, it's not handled as well as Yondu's was, or feels cheap because it's trying to imitate Yondu's funeral. Guardians disband, and Asgardians of the Galaxy are teased in a post-credits scene
Whew, that's all I've got now! I've still got a lot of reservations about Vol. 3, but typing all that out helped me compartamentalize things and realize, these movies are supposed to be for fun. If I'm feeling so negative about Vol. 3, I should find things in the meantime that make me happy. I flew off the handle after seeing Endgame, so I'm taking a break from fandom. I think that will help me gain perspective. I don't think I will ever like the idea of new Gamora ending up with Quill without OG Gamora's memories, but at least knowing that's a possibility, helps me temper my expectations. I went into Vol. 2 with realistic expectations and enjoyed it, so I will try to do the same for Vol. 3. I got really mad at Gunn because I thought he helped sign off on Gamora getting killed off and being reset, but I realized that that might have been out of his hands, so maybe he'll handle this differently than Groot and Yondu and merge OG Gamora's memories with new Gamora. I don't want the movie to suck; I hope Gunn proves me wrong and makes me eat all my words and reservations.
The one silver lining is that Markus and McFeely and Russos aren't going anywhere near Vol. 3!
Updated ranking:
Quality
1. Captain America: The Winter Soldier
2. Iron Man
3. Guardians of the Galaxy
4. Black Panther
5. The Avengers
6. Spider-Man: Homecoming
7. Captain America: Civil War
8. Thor: Ragnarok
9. Avengers: Infinity War
10. Doctor Strange
11. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
12. Avengers: Age of Ultron
13. Ant-Man
14. Iron Man 3
15. Captain Marvel
16. Thor
17. Avengers: Endgame
18. Ant-Man and the Wasp
19. Captain America: The First Avenger
20. Iron Man 2
21. Thor: The Dark World
22. The Incredible Hulk
Preference
1. Guardians of the Galaxy
2. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
3. Iron Man
4. The Avengers
5. Black Panther
6. Captain Marvel
7. Thor
8. Iron Man 3
9. Ant-Man and the Wasp
10. Ant-Man
11. Thor: The Dark World
12. Avengers: Age of Ultron
13. Spider-Man: Homecoming
14. Captain America: The Winter Soldier
15. Iron Man 2
16. Captain America: The First Avenger
17. Avengers: Infinty War
18. Avengers: Endgame
19. Captain America: Civil War
20. The Incredible Hulk
21. Doctor Strange
22. Thor: Ragnarok