Guy I Thought was Dead, Gossip I Think I Already Knew, and Gums that Bleed (but they do it politely)
Why did I think Luther Vandross was already dead? (No, I was not thinking of Barry White; I would not confuse the two.) And why is everyone reporting that Jennifer Garner is pregnant -- didn't we know that already? (I'm aware that the wedding is news, though.) I thought I knew about the pregnancy a few weeks ago. Perhaps I am psychic. (Dad and I used to think it was hilarious to say psycho in place of psychic, and suspicious instead of superstitious, but too many people didn't get it and just thought we were stupid.)
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Okay, you know that "Pink in the Sink" toothpaste commercial? I really hate it. It has been bugging me for several months now (yeah, I know how sad that is). But seriously, I understand why, in polite conversation, people use euphemisms like "passed away" instead of "died" or "kicked it." Sometimes we say, "It's my time of the month," or "I have my period," instead of, "Blood is coming out of my vagina!" (I will not address the whole "Aunt Flo" thing, so don't even ask.) But why do the Colgate people think it is necessary to say "pink in the sink" instead of just "my gums were bleeding a little." Is it really embarrassing to have gums that bleed? Is the word blood so offensive? (I understand that the look of it apparently is, because that mysterious blue liquid is always used in tampon commercials, so as not to offend anyone's delicate little Puritan sensibilities.) If your gums bleed, should you be ashamed about it? Is this something that kids tease each other about now? No? Then why do we need a euphemism for this? I mean, the commercials for laxatives, herpes medicines, and adult diapers make it really clear what those products are for, and they don't dress it up or give it a cute little nickname (I believe the term genital wart is even used in those herpes medication ads). They aren't always all that blunt, and the announcer usually says something like "for those with bladder control issues" instead of "use this if you wet your pants," but that's for adult diapers, and so I think a little extra decorum is necessary. I would think that if I had a condition which necessitated the use of such products, I would appreciate a little euphemism -- but I also think I would be plenty embarrassed and would wish to have a much less embarrassing condition, like bleeding gums. I can see why a polite little term might be preferable in the cases of those more sensitive personal issues, but bleeding gums? Not in the same class. Next, advertisements will attempt to make us all feel self-conscious about getting our hands dirty after gardening, or getting wet when it rains, or getting thirsty after a workout.
This is not to dismiss bleeding gums as something completely normal. I mean, the girl with the ugly hair in the commercial says that it can mean you have gingivitis, which is serious, I guess. I don't really know, but gum disease sounds gross, and probably looks damn nasty. And I know that there is a connection between gum disease and heart disease (though I don't understand why, but I don't care all that much, either, so don't explain it to me). But if any of you out there do have gums that bleed, take care of it, and please do not refer to the blood as "pink in the sink," because it is nothing to be ashamed of, I promise, and I will still be your friend.
~~*~~
Okay, you know that "Pink in the Sink" toothpaste commercial? I really hate it. It has been bugging me for several months now (yeah, I know how sad that is). But seriously, I understand why, in polite conversation, people use euphemisms like "passed away" instead of "died" or "kicked it." Sometimes we say, "It's my time of the month," or "I have my period," instead of, "Blood is coming out of my vagina!" (I will not address the whole "Aunt Flo" thing, so don't even ask.) But why do the Colgate people think it is necessary to say "pink in the sink" instead of just "my gums were bleeding a little." Is it really embarrassing to have gums that bleed? Is the word blood so offensive? (I understand that the look of it apparently is, because that mysterious blue liquid is always used in tampon commercials, so as not to offend anyone's delicate little Puritan sensibilities.) If your gums bleed, should you be ashamed about it? Is this something that kids tease each other about now? No? Then why do we need a euphemism for this? I mean, the commercials for laxatives, herpes medicines, and adult diapers make it really clear what those products are for, and they don't dress it up or give it a cute little nickname (I believe the term genital wart is even used in those herpes medication ads). They aren't always all that blunt, and the announcer usually says something like "for those with bladder control issues" instead of "use this if you wet your pants," but that's for adult diapers, and so I think a little extra decorum is necessary. I would think that if I had a condition which necessitated the use of such products, I would appreciate a little euphemism -- but I also think I would be plenty embarrassed and would wish to have a much less embarrassing condition, like bleeding gums. I can see why a polite little term might be preferable in the cases of those more sensitive personal issues, but bleeding gums? Not in the same class. Next, advertisements will attempt to make us all feel self-conscious about getting our hands dirty after gardening, or getting wet when it rains, or getting thirsty after a workout.
This is not to dismiss bleeding gums as something completely normal. I mean, the girl with the ugly hair in the commercial says that it can mean you have gingivitis, which is serious, I guess. I don't really know, but gum disease sounds gross, and probably looks damn nasty. And I know that there is a connection between gum disease and heart disease (though I don't understand why, but I don't care all that much, either, so don't explain it to me). But if any of you out there do have gums that bleed, take care of it, and please do not refer to the blood as "pink in the sink," because it is nothing to be ashamed of, I promise, and I will still be your friend.