All New Update -- now with even more neurotic freakouts!
So yesterday, I had a minor freakout over a scheduling problem. The school had scheduled me to teach at a time that was basically impossible. I was worried about it, and afraid of coming off badly. I hated to have to bug them with this shit, but MIL's chemo and related appointments have really restricted my schedule. It's not as if there is anyone else who can help her -- if there were, I would not be doing it (not that I'm doing it all myself, but I'm certainly doing most of it). My classes are fine (I got enrolled back in May), it was just the ones they had me scheduled to teach that were not. I had planned to email my teaching supervisor about my scheduling limitations ahead of time, but I'd also been told that they weren't going to assign teaching schedules until early August, so I hadn't written that email and I thought I had plenty of time, so I spent a couple of hours on pins and needles yesterday, beating myself up about not having sent that email sooner (but it wasn't just procrastination at work -- Sue had been saying all along about how she wanted to change her chemo schedule, and I wanted to see if she was going to do that). But I just emailed them and said look, I'm sorry to have to do this, but I've got a conflict, and I was told that this schedule wouldn't be made until much later so I hadn't gotten to contact you about this yet, and then I explained the MIL situation. And I listed all the times where I would be available to teach, instead of just concentrating on when I couldn't. And then I freaked out some more, because I had already been worrying that this would happen, and I called 80 at work and she listened to me and told me that they liked me and wouldn't think a thing of having to do this and that they were not just going to fire me because of a scheduling problem, and just when I was getting off the phone with her, I heard the "ding!" of Outlook, and I'd gotten an email from the head of the department, who very, very nicely changed the schedule for me and said that he was happy to do so. And it is fine now. I'm kind of glad that they made up the schedule this early, so I don't have to worry about it anymore (I'd been worrying about it since I'd gotten enrolled).
Truth be told, even if I hadn't had the MIL's chemo schedule to work around, I was not happy with the late morning class they had signed me up for, and would have done whatever I could to change it ... I mean, I live 30 minutes away from this school (which is located in a little college town), and I did not want to be stuck there for the whole damn day, especially when most of the students (including the grad students) actually live there and can basically take any time that doesn't conflict with their schedules. But I didn't want to have to say that, because I'm sure they're sick of listening to people who live in my city bitch about having to drive 30 minutes to campus. But hey, if the big university here offered this, I'd be going there, because I live 5 minutes away.
~~*~~
So, my schedule:
Monday -- I teach at 1:00, and then at 2:00. At 4:00, I have a one-hour bullshit class for teaching assistants (which I expect to be a lot like all the classes I've taken in tutor training, and in teaching writing). Then I have a class from 6:30 to 9:00. So I'm there for a big chunk of time, but I have large breaks for office hours and meals and homework, and Tater will only be alone or crated for about four hours (five is the absolute max), until Chris gets home.
Tuesday -- One night class, 6:30 to 9:00. I'll be home all day, and get to have a little time with Chris before class.
Wednesday -- Teach at 1:00 and 2:00, then class from 6:30 to 9:00. So, again, big breaks for office hours or meals or homework, and Tater will only be alone for a little while before Chris gets home. Chris will have to tape "Lost" for me, though.
Thursday -- nothing.
Friday -- Teach at 1:00 and at 2:00.
So I have pretty full days at the beginning of the week, but with long breaks, and a short, early Friday, and a totally free Thursday. This meshes well with Tater's potty schedule and MIL's chemo schedule and my unwillingness to drive in rush-hour traffic or get there first thing in the morning or change my morning routine or be stuck there for a long time, so I don't see how it could have been any better. I won't get to see Chris a lot on Mondays or Wednesdays, but he has some more certifications to study for, and a few quiet evenings a week for him to study will be great -- plus, I'll be around on Tuesdays and Thursdays and Fridays, and the weekend, of course. I'll need to make a minor adjustment to the kibble schedule -- kitties will get fed at 9 and 5 (instead of 8 and 4 like they are now), so that Chris can feed them when he gets home on Mondays and Wednesdays, instead of them getting fed late. (Tater gets fed once a day, and that will also be pushed from 4 to 5.)
~~*~~
This schedule snafu came on the heels of what had been a pretty emotional 24 hours for me. I've been upset and frustrated about this summer, because I have accomplished very little of what I want/need to do. And summer is slipping away from me -- soon it will be July, and then school starts the following month, and I still have so many things to do before school starts. But lately, even when I am having some "me time" at home during the day, I'm basically recharging, which is great and necessary, though not that productive. When I think about this too much, I feel like crying -- and I'm not proud, I have cried about this, even though I know that it is selfish -- and I get all panicky. And I don't want to talk to Chris about it, because I know he'll just feel bad, so I save it for pretty much everyone else, which I'm sure all my loved ones appreciate.
~~*~~
Sue called yesterday, in the midst of all this, to tell me that her hair was falling out. Of course, we all knew that would happen, but she was still pretty upset (as I would have been). I went over there for a while, after everything was resolved, and she felt better after we visited. I showed her how to tie a bandanna on her head, too, and she liked that. Her incision is almost totally healed, and looks much less gross, so on Friday morning we're going to go get her fitted for a prosthesis. The newest thing in breast prostheses (in case you just want to know) are lightweight and realistic-looking, and you can wear them with your own bras, even (as opposed to those ugly old-lady bras with the built-in boob). And can I just say again that if Sue is a C-cup, I am totally wearing the wrong size bra -- I must need like an H-cup or something. (And you know, getting a professional fitting and buying new bras is on my "To Do This Summer" list, but it of course has not gotten done, either.)
I just returned about half an hour ago from being at chemo with Sue. She is very tired these days. Chris got there at about 2:00, so I came home (I'd gone with her to the doctor at 8:00, and been there ever since). My head is pounding, and it is very hot outside, I'm hungry, and I want to take a bath, so I'm guessing that this is yet another day in which I get pretty much nothing done. Yeah, yeah, I know -- oh, poor me. It really wasn't that bad today; I'm just tired.
Truth be told, even if I hadn't had the MIL's chemo schedule to work around, I was not happy with the late morning class they had signed me up for, and would have done whatever I could to change it ... I mean, I live 30 minutes away from this school (which is located in a little college town), and I did not want to be stuck there for the whole damn day, especially when most of the students (including the grad students) actually live there and can basically take any time that doesn't conflict with their schedules. But I didn't want to have to say that, because I'm sure they're sick of listening to people who live in my city bitch about having to drive 30 minutes to campus. But hey, if the big university here offered this, I'd be going there, because I live 5 minutes away.
~~*~~
So, my schedule:
Monday -- I teach at 1:00, and then at 2:00. At 4:00, I have a one-hour bullshit class for teaching assistants (which I expect to be a lot like all the classes I've taken in tutor training, and in teaching writing). Then I have a class from 6:30 to 9:00. So I'm there for a big chunk of time, but I have large breaks for office hours and meals and homework, and Tater will only be alone or crated for about four hours (five is the absolute max), until Chris gets home.
Tuesday -- One night class, 6:30 to 9:00. I'll be home all day, and get to have a little time with Chris before class.
Wednesday -- Teach at 1:00 and 2:00, then class from 6:30 to 9:00. So, again, big breaks for office hours or meals or homework, and Tater will only be alone for a little while before Chris gets home. Chris will have to tape "Lost" for me, though.
Thursday -- nothing.
Friday -- Teach at 1:00 and at 2:00.
So I have pretty full days at the beginning of the week, but with long breaks, and a short, early Friday, and a totally free Thursday. This meshes well with Tater's potty schedule and MIL's chemo schedule and my unwillingness to drive in rush-hour traffic or get there first thing in the morning or change my morning routine or be stuck there for a long time, so I don't see how it could have been any better. I won't get to see Chris a lot on Mondays or Wednesdays, but he has some more certifications to study for, and a few quiet evenings a week for him to study will be great -- plus, I'll be around on Tuesdays and Thursdays and Fridays, and the weekend, of course. I'll need to make a minor adjustment to the kibble schedule -- kitties will get fed at 9 and 5 (instead of 8 and 4 like they are now), so that Chris can feed them when he gets home on Mondays and Wednesdays, instead of them getting fed late. (Tater gets fed once a day, and that will also be pushed from 4 to 5.)
~~*~~
This schedule snafu came on the heels of what had been a pretty emotional 24 hours for me. I've been upset and frustrated about this summer, because I have accomplished very little of what I want/need to do. And summer is slipping away from me -- soon it will be July, and then school starts the following month, and I still have so many things to do before school starts. But lately, even when I am having some "me time" at home during the day, I'm basically recharging, which is great and necessary, though not that productive. When I think about this too much, I feel like crying -- and I'm not proud, I have cried about this, even though I know that it is selfish -- and I get all panicky. And I don't want to talk to Chris about it, because I know he'll just feel bad, so I save it for pretty much everyone else, which I'm sure all my loved ones appreciate.
~~*~~
Sue called yesterday, in the midst of all this, to tell me that her hair was falling out. Of course, we all knew that would happen, but she was still pretty upset (as I would have been). I went over there for a while, after everything was resolved, and she felt better after we visited. I showed her how to tie a bandanna on her head, too, and she liked that. Her incision is almost totally healed, and looks much less gross, so on Friday morning we're going to go get her fitted for a prosthesis. The newest thing in breast prostheses (in case you just want to know) are lightweight and realistic-looking, and you can wear them with your own bras, even (as opposed to those ugly old-lady bras with the built-in boob). And can I just say again that if Sue is a C-cup, I am totally wearing the wrong size bra -- I must need like an H-cup or something. (And you know, getting a professional fitting and buying new bras is on my "To Do This Summer" list, but it of course has not gotten done, either.)
I just returned about half an hour ago from being at chemo with Sue. She is very tired these days. Chris got there at about 2:00, so I came home (I'd gone with her to the doctor at 8:00, and been there ever since). My head is pounding, and it is very hot outside, I'm hungry, and I want to take a bath, so I'm guessing that this is yet another day in which I get pretty much nothing done. Yeah, yeah, I know -- oh, poor me. It really wasn't that bad today; I'm just tired.