Random Doctor/Master crack-y slash drabble
Written on comment_fic for the prompt Diabolical Plan
Master/Doctor Slash
"What are you doing?"
The Master looked insulted.
"You can't keep expecting these things of me, Doctor. I'm short, we're the sort of people who hide under desks doing kinky things, and no-one ever knows we're there."
"Really? Because that's not what most people think of when you say 'characteristic of a short man' to them."
"That's 'cause they don't know we're there." The Master wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.
"I see, because mostly it's the 'take over the world with a diabolical plan' thing?"
The Master waved his hand airily to brush the idea aside.
The Doctor continued regardless, "I mean, there's you, Hitler, Mousillini, Jack Dee, and many other world take-over attempts that I shan't mention but -"
"Yeah, but it was only once, right?"
"What?"
"We only did it once."
"Master, have you forgotten all of our history?"
"Oh, the name - Um no, but it can't have been more than once per regeneration, right? So, statistically, you've got me as a pet until you let me die."
"You're not a pet," the Doctor scoffed.
"I don't mind. I like it. It's like . . . every sex game we've ever played but in role-reversal."
"Se- we've never played sex games!!!!"
"Were you not aware of it? I thought it was pretty clear."
"Was I no- . . ."
"See, the way I view our relationship -"
"Oh, God, here we go -"
"- is like really long foreplay, drawn out, yes, a little bit not normal, yes, but boy will the sex be good when we get 'round to it!"
Master/Doctor Slash
"What are you doing?"
The Master looked insulted.
"You can't keep expecting these things of me, Doctor. I'm short, we're the sort of people who hide under desks doing kinky things, and no-one ever knows we're there."
"Really? Because that's not what most people think of when you say 'characteristic of a short man' to them."
"That's 'cause they don't know we're there." The Master wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.
"I see, because mostly it's the 'take over the world with a diabolical plan' thing?"
The Master waved his hand airily to brush the idea aside.
The Doctor continued regardless, "I mean, there's you, Hitler, Mousillini, Jack Dee, and many other world take-over attempts that I shan't mention but -"
"Yeah, but it was only once, right?"
"What?"
"We only did it once."
"Master, have you forgotten all of our history?"
"Oh, the name - Um no, but it can't have been more than once per regeneration, right? So, statistically, you've got me as a pet until you let me die."
"You're not a pet," the Doctor scoffed.
"I don't mind. I like it. It's like . . . every sex game we've ever played but in role-reversal."
"Se- we've never played sex games!!!!"
"Were you not aware of it? I thought it was pretty clear."
"Was I no- . . ."
"See, the way I view our relationship -"
"Oh, God, here we go -"
"- is like really long foreplay, drawn out, yes, a little bit not normal, yes, but boy will the sex be good when we get 'round to it!"