Why don'tcha DOOOO sumpin'?
Everything just gets better with time, in my opinion. I can't give too much of how I feel away, but I know that I felt this strange freedom. Being yourself can be so hard sometimes, but I've learned to just close my eyes and not care. Not worry about what someone will think of what I say or do. This is my life, and instead of being afraid and reserved about what I think and feel, I should, instead, take my life back rather than hand the reigns over to fear, like I have been for god knows how long now. I love it, it's exhilirating, and I'm happy.
This is going to sound so out of left field but, something is happening. It can't be described and it can't be for sure, it just IS. I'm afraid, and yet, I've always been drawn to the unknown, and the risk of everything. At this moment, I'm game for it.
A part of me still doesn't know wether to touch, or not touch, look or not look, feel or not feel. Thats what I love about myself more than anything, and yet at the same time, the one thing I truly hate. I can be disconnected emotionally from everything, even when it looks like I'm feeling something. Making myself vulnerable to criticism, negetivity, harsh comments, the reality of anothers feelings, its so hard for me. But lately, I let it do whatever it's meant to. I don't have the desire to block anything, to turn the other way when it hurts, I just soak it up, and like a sponge, wring myself out. It truly hurts sometimes, but its real. I want to build myself a real life. Without BS, or people who want something from me, opportunists, backstabbers, you know the kind.
I really like today, and I know I sound crazy, but thats part of the thrill, part of the plan, part of all of the things, I am. LOLL that was wayy queer, I love it.
I'll write more later..
This is going to sound so out of left field but, something is happening. It can't be described and it can't be for sure, it just IS. I'm afraid, and yet, I've always been drawn to the unknown, and the risk of everything. At this moment, I'm game for it.
A part of me still doesn't know wether to touch, or not touch, look or not look, feel or not feel. Thats what I love about myself more than anything, and yet at the same time, the one thing I truly hate. I can be disconnected emotionally from everything, even when it looks like I'm feeling something. Making myself vulnerable to criticism, negetivity, harsh comments, the reality of anothers feelings, its so hard for me. But lately, I let it do whatever it's meant to. I don't have the desire to block anything, to turn the other way when it hurts, I just soak it up, and like a sponge, wring myself out. It truly hurts sometimes, but its real. I want to build myself a real life. Without BS, or people who want something from me, opportunists, backstabbers, you know the kind.
I really like today, and I know I sound crazy, but thats part of the thrill, part of the plan, part of all of the things, I am. LOLL that was wayy queer, I love it.
I'll write more later..