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[anexparrot]

In the process of packing, I decided to clean out my "folder of things that make me smile" because sometimes I just put paystubs in there. I found quite a few things in it from the end of last year that made me want to cry, all of which I ultimately would up ripping to shreds, which was very therapeutic. Most notably, I found a piece of paper that I had filled with tiny writing about the time that I hooked up with someone, and it included a lot of specifics that I had forgotten about - in particular, things that make it clear how ultimately insignificant it was for the other person. This is why I should never just hook up with people - I make more of it than it really is, agonize, and ultimately undermine the experience by making it painful to recall. I was (and in many ways still am) a naive girl. I have made so much more of this than was ever called for. I did eventually move on, and I feel so much better; I just can't believe how much time I spent unhappy because I couldn't just accept it.

In other news: I will be back at Smith tomorrow, woohoo!