(no subject)
i work really hard to keep everything together. i help more than ever and i'm happy to do so. matt is a complete disappointment. he will help, but begrudgingly. he yells all the time...a complete loose cannon. i think dad should kick him out. dad doesnt need the abuse. dad needs to be happy and as stress free as possible. him and i are having a great time. i know he really appreciates my help, and i do as much as i can. we had a great time in boston. and we come home to this jerk. lasjdflasjfa.
i dont even feel like writing anymore. but i want to remember everything. every feeling.
im scared as shit about dad. hes not ready to give up, but he doesnt think hes going to get through this one...as far as i can tell. but i guess thats not a good word choice. he never got out.
its hard to be home and be with the miserable one and try to take care of everything, but its good to be home too. like i said, dad and i have a good time together. matt (boyfriend not brother) and i are better than ever. i took him parasailing for his birthday and it was incredible. rachys finally back from the mothaland (thank the lawwdy!!). work is going great, i get along with everyone really well. im excited for school to start again. i'm certainly worried about leaving dad, though. this last radiation treatment was tough. now he's got problems in his legs. he starts chemo july 1 and im very nervous. if matt doesnt pick up the slack when i leave, i dont know what i'll do. im trying to encourage dad to get rid of the house (somehow in this market) and move in with denise. by the time he finally agrees, it will be time to move in with he because he will be dying. isnt he already? no. he's living with cancer. is there a difference with his cancer? fuck. moving on, ill also be upset leaving matt (boyfriend). i've gotten used to always having him around. im pretty retahhhded for him, to say the least.
i dont want to write anymore.
i dont even feel like writing anymore. but i want to remember everything. every feeling.
im scared as shit about dad. hes not ready to give up, but he doesnt think hes going to get through this one...as far as i can tell. but i guess thats not a good word choice. he never got out.
its hard to be home and be with the miserable one and try to take care of everything, but its good to be home too. like i said, dad and i have a good time together. matt (boyfriend not brother) and i are better than ever. i took him parasailing for his birthday and it was incredible. rachys finally back from the mothaland (thank the lawwdy!!). work is going great, i get along with everyone really well. im excited for school to start again. i'm certainly worried about leaving dad, though. this last radiation treatment was tough. now he's got problems in his legs. he starts chemo july 1 and im very nervous. if matt doesnt pick up the slack when i leave, i dont know what i'll do. im trying to encourage dad to get rid of the house (somehow in this market) and move in with denise. by the time he finally agrees, it will be time to move in with he because he will be dying. isnt he already? no. he's living with cancer. is there a difference with his cancer? fuck. moving on, ill also be upset leaving matt (boyfriend). i've gotten used to always having him around. im pretty retahhhded for him, to say the least.
i dont want to write anymore.