pizza rolls & black cherry faygo
My meal of choice for the moment.
It is currently 1 in the morning and i'm sitting awake because my life has just done a complete 360 and I'm caught somewhere between insanity and joy. I dont know whether to embrace my new change for the best, or to just give up and cry.
There are so many things I would like to discuss and I'm sure I will in later entries..but for right now, all anyone needs to know is that I have started over, and from the end I shall work towards a new beginning.
Things have gotten so insane, but then so good, and then so bad all throughout my life. I've never had, what you call, a 'constant' and now that is exactly what i'm looking for. I fell in love with the perfect man and he left me, which I'm thinking might have been for the best. My heart is torn apart and it seems like it may never heal this time, but I'm hoping that changes, as well as many other things when I move.
I'm very young, but i've experienced what most 30 year olds' have in a lifetime. I feel very mature and out of the ordinary. I feel very different from everyone else my own age, and I believe that has a lot to do with a lot of my problems, emotionally at least. I've had to grow up very fast, and I've basically been independent since the age of 9. I am now 18 and for 10 of those 18 years I've not had a mother, for 7 of those 18 years I've had no father and for 5 of those 18 years I was severely physically and emotionally abused. After that I moved away, in with an Aunt, that didnt work out so I moved in with an uncle, that didnt work out, so I moved in with a boyfriend, he broke my heart, and beat the shit out of me, so I left and moved in with a guy friend. I fell head over heels in love, and I thought so did he, but just as things were looking better than ever, he ended it and turned my world upside down. It seriously had me contemplating suicide, which I have NEVER considered. I love him so much, it hurts just to think about him....
Anyway, I've been on my own again for the past 4 days and its getting a little bit easier. I still think of him constantly and miss him 24/7, but there isnt much I can do at the moment, I suppose I should stop before I start to cry again. I am running out of tears.
So I suppose for now, I should go , my pizza rolls just got out of the oven. Please note. I need the support.
-Sarah
It is currently 1 in the morning and i'm sitting awake because my life has just done a complete 360 and I'm caught somewhere between insanity and joy. I dont know whether to embrace my new change for the best, or to just give up and cry.
There are so many things I would like to discuss and I'm sure I will in later entries..but for right now, all anyone needs to know is that I have started over, and from the end I shall work towards a new beginning.
Things have gotten so insane, but then so good, and then so bad all throughout my life. I've never had, what you call, a 'constant' and now that is exactly what i'm looking for. I fell in love with the perfect man and he left me, which I'm thinking might have been for the best. My heart is torn apart and it seems like it may never heal this time, but I'm hoping that changes, as well as many other things when I move.
I'm very young, but i've experienced what most 30 year olds' have in a lifetime. I feel very mature and out of the ordinary. I feel very different from everyone else my own age, and I believe that has a lot to do with a lot of my problems, emotionally at least. I've had to grow up very fast, and I've basically been independent since the age of 9. I am now 18 and for 10 of those 18 years I've not had a mother, for 7 of those 18 years I've had no father and for 5 of those 18 years I was severely physically and emotionally abused. After that I moved away, in with an Aunt, that didnt work out so I moved in with an uncle, that didnt work out, so I moved in with a boyfriend, he broke my heart, and beat the shit out of me, so I left and moved in with a guy friend. I fell head over heels in love, and I thought so did he, but just as things were looking better than ever, he ended it and turned my world upside down. It seriously had me contemplating suicide, which I have NEVER considered. I love him so much, it hurts just to think about him....
Anyway, I've been on my own again for the past 4 days and its getting a little bit easier. I still think of him constantly and miss him 24/7, but there isnt much I can do at the moment, I suppose I should stop before I start to cry again. I am running out of tears.
So I suppose for now, I should go , my pizza rolls just got out of the oven. Please note. I need the support.
-Sarah