Easter Story
This silly little scenario popped into my head, so I wrote it down. It's my idea of the perfect Easter present.
Okay, I am definitely going to Hell for this. Here it is, the holiest day of the year, and what am I doing? I’m writing semi-smut. Who knows? Perhaps for Christmas I’ll write out-and-out porn.
Illya’s Easter Bunny
Illya Kuryakin slowly hauled his bruised and tired body up the four flights of stairs. A quicker than usual scan of the hallway and doorframe assured him that all was well, so he wearily unlocked the door and pushed it open.
It had been a rough ten days. He had been beaten, wet, starved, injected with veridicals, and had questions shouted at him for hours on end. On the upside, the explosion had been most satisfying, but even setting the explosives had been unusually exhausting. Now all he wanted was the peace of his apartment, the bottle of Stoli he had left in the refrigerator, and a scalding bath - then bed.
Thoughts of bed brought thoughts of Napoleon. Illya hadn’t seen or touched his partner - friend - lover, in a week and a half. He hated it when they were sent on separate assignments. Not only did he worry when he wasn’t there to watch Napoleon’s back, but he missed the seemingly innocent touches, the knowing smiles, and the looks that only he could interpret for what they really were.
The radio that he always left on when he was away, as a deterrent for unwanted guests, was busily announcing that today was Easter. That’s right, it was Sunday. Illya shook his head at the foolishness of Americans and their “religious” holidays. He still had trouble figuring out how boiled eggs, chocolate rabbits, and stuffed toys symbolized the supposed resurrection of the Christian prophet. The mind boggled.
Thankfully, Napoleon wasn’t due back from Brazil until Monday, so Illya would be spared whatever frivolous observance of the holiday he certainly would have conjured. Not to mention that he would be nice and rested for the festivities he had planned for Napoleon’s return.
Illya sighed as he surveyed what he could see of his domain, knowing that he needed to inspect each room carefully as always, regardless of how bone weary he was. He stealthily crossed the living room and entered the small kitchen, finding everything as it should be. He then entered the bedroom, and threw up his hands in exasperation.
There, standing against the wall beside his bed, was a life-sized chocolate rabbit with a yellow ribbon around its neck, tied into a huge bow. Obviously, Napoleon had either gotten back a day early, or had somehow arranged this even from Sao Paolo. Mr. Chief Enforcement Agent just couldn’t pass up a chance to go all sappy whenever a holiday presented the opportunity.
Rolling his eyes and smiling in spite of himself, Illya began to slowly and painfully undress. Congratulating himself for having worn loafers, he toed off his shoes and socks, then slowly pulled the hem of his black turtleneck over his head. As he was smoothing his hair, he glanced at the chocolate rabbit - and could have sworn that it smiled! Another look proved him wrong, so he chalked it up to fatigue and continued to undress.
He unbuckled his belt and slid the form-fitting black trousers down his legs, putting off stepping out of them until they were joined on the floor by his boxers. With a grunt, he lifted his feet, one by one, just high enough to remove both garments and toss them onto the bed to join his shirt. Now for that bath.
Korosho! He had forgotten the vodka.
As he stood, naked, in the middle of the room, trying to decide whether it was worth walking all the way to the kitchen, his eyes traveled once again to the huge rabbit-shaped candy. Looking more closely, he began to notice something odd. Not only was this the only anatomically correct confection he had ever seen, but could he be seeing what he thought he was seeing? He moved closer and, yes, this particular chocolate rabbit was very…excited. Not only did he have a penis, but he was sporting a very impressive erection as well.
Illya erupted into fits of uncontrollable laughter. The rabbit began to blink rapidly, and an evident frown appeared on its face. Illya took hold of the long ears and pulled. As he expected, the appendages came off in his hands to reveal a head of sable hair with a razor straight part. Still chuckling, he lightly kissed the scowling lips until they responded.
The pain and fatigue melted away as Illya fell to his knees to begin nibbling on his Easter present.
Okay, I am definitely going to Hell for this. Here it is, the holiest day of the year, and what am I doing? I’m writing semi-smut. Who knows? Perhaps for Christmas I’ll write out-and-out porn.
Illya’s Easter Bunny
Illya Kuryakin slowly hauled his bruised and tired body up the four flights of stairs. A quicker than usual scan of the hallway and doorframe assured him that all was well, so he wearily unlocked the door and pushed it open.
It had been a rough ten days. He had been beaten, wet, starved, injected with veridicals, and had questions shouted at him for hours on end. On the upside, the explosion had been most satisfying, but even setting the explosives had been unusually exhausting. Now all he wanted was the peace of his apartment, the bottle of Stoli he had left in the refrigerator, and a scalding bath - then bed.
Thoughts of bed brought thoughts of Napoleon. Illya hadn’t seen or touched his partner - friend - lover, in a week and a half. He hated it when they were sent on separate assignments. Not only did he worry when he wasn’t there to watch Napoleon’s back, but he missed the seemingly innocent touches, the knowing smiles, and the looks that only he could interpret for what they really were.
The radio that he always left on when he was away, as a deterrent for unwanted guests, was busily announcing that today was Easter. That’s right, it was Sunday. Illya shook his head at the foolishness of Americans and their “religious” holidays. He still had trouble figuring out how boiled eggs, chocolate rabbits, and stuffed toys symbolized the supposed resurrection of the Christian prophet. The mind boggled.
Thankfully, Napoleon wasn’t due back from Brazil until Monday, so Illya would be spared whatever frivolous observance of the holiday he certainly would have conjured. Not to mention that he would be nice and rested for the festivities he had planned for Napoleon’s return.
Illya sighed as he surveyed what he could see of his domain, knowing that he needed to inspect each room carefully as always, regardless of how bone weary he was. He stealthily crossed the living room and entered the small kitchen, finding everything as it should be. He then entered the bedroom, and threw up his hands in exasperation.
There, standing against the wall beside his bed, was a life-sized chocolate rabbit with a yellow ribbon around its neck, tied into a huge bow. Obviously, Napoleon had either gotten back a day early, or had somehow arranged this even from Sao Paolo. Mr. Chief Enforcement Agent just couldn’t pass up a chance to go all sappy whenever a holiday presented the opportunity.
Rolling his eyes and smiling in spite of himself, Illya began to slowly and painfully undress. Congratulating himself for having worn loafers, he toed off his shoes and socks, then slowly pulled the hem of his black turtleneck over his head. As he was smoothing his hair, he glanced at the chocolate rabbit - and could have sworn that it smiled! Another look proved him wrong, so he chalked it up to fatigue and continued to undress.
He unbuckled his belt and slid the form-fitting black trousers down his legs, putting off stepping out of them until they were joined on the floor by his boxers. With a grunt, he lifted his feet, one by one, just high enough to remove both garments and toss them onto the bed to join his shirt. Now for that bath.
Korosho! He had forgotten the vodka.
As he stood, naked, in the middle of the room, trying to decide whether it was worth walking all the way to the kitchen, his eyes traveled once again to the huge rabbit-shaped candy. Looking more closely, he began to notice something odd. Not only was this the only anatomically correct confection he had ever seen, but could he be seeing what he thought he was seeing? He moved closer and, yes, this particular chocolate rabbit was very…excited. Not only did he have a penis, but he was sporting a very impressive erection as well.
Illya erupted into fits of uncontrollable laughter. The rabbit began to blink rapidly, and an evident frown appeared on its face. Illya took hold of the long ears and pulled. As he expected, the appendages came off in his hands to reveal a head of sable hair with a razor straight part. Still chuckling, he lightly kissed the scowling lips until they responded.
The pain and fatigue melted away as Illya fell to his knees to begin nibbling on his Easter present.