ADMISSIONS--thoughts-rambling--and more rambling
One thing that I am starting to learn--the longer you have to wait for an answer from an admissions office, the worse the news must be.
Now, this could be superstition by a 4 times slightly singed scholar--or it could be an accurate observation as someone who has recieved quite a few rejections.
I can clearly remember my anticipation during the run of senior year applications to university...I heard back from my first choice, Carnegie Mellon University --first--above all others in early February. I was accepted and was given a generous sum of money in a wonderful grant and scholarship. My rejections, from Williams College (I am thankful I did not attend an institution where a friend of mine had experienced some bitter racism in that small town), and I think Barnard? or was I waitlisted there? came much later. I was wait listed at Vassar, which took a very long time to send me anything, I don't think I heard until around April at that point!
And now with graduate admissions--I am finding the later the answer in the midsts of March, the worse the response! Oh Michigan, if only you had the funds to support my education for next year!
I emailed Professor Lassiter, the Director of Graduate Studies--to ask what I could strengthen about my app but have heard nothing back (I was careful to say that if he was too busy please do not feel pressured to respond to this inquiry) but a bit of closure would be nice...What can one do when you have no funds?
I wonder if some rich celebrity would write to me, and offer me some cash so I could complete my education.
As it stands, if I can aquire work with a company who subsidizes continuing education, I think I will apply to another school for the Spring and pay my way through graduate studies there. But I am getting ahead of myself here, I haven't even started to work in this potential office yet.
Economy lost 63,000 jobs last month...with things looking worse and worse for us in the next year or so, it is no wonder for me the schools are no longer interested in paying the way of some underfunded individuals.
I'm not much on the empowerment front--at times I feel like I have recovered from the blows of rejection and then right away I start to feel squeamish and afraid...I have not yet emailed back all of my recommenders to inform them of my plans for next year, or even thanked them for their hard work!
Its so much easier to feel sorry for myself in these circumstances, when the truth is, I am very fortunate to have completed my education and earned a degree. At the heart of it all, i have this terrible sense of having let myself down.
Where was my drive and ambition while my self-esteem was chipped away in undergrad? Where was it over the summer when I first began to plan this difficult trek into a life as a scholar? Where was it at that interview earlier this week, where I erred against my own personal advice time and time again and sounded like a nitwit, even as my inward voice was telling me to act and respond differently and not shake nervously.
I wish it were much easier to be confident.
Now, this could be superstition by a 4 times slightly singed scholar--or it could be an accurate observation as someone who has recieved quite a few rejections.
I can clearly remember my anticipation during the run of senior year applications to university...I heard back from my first choice, Carnegie Mellon University --first--above all others in early February. I was accepted and was given a generous sum of money in a wonderful grant and scholarship. My rejections, from Williams College (I am thankful I did not attend an institution where a friend of mine had experienced some bitter racism in that small town), and I think Barnard? or was I waitlisted there? came much later. I was wait listed at Vassar, which took a very long time to send me anything, I don't think I heard until around April at that point!
And now with graduate admissions--I am finding the later the answer in the midsts of March, the worse the response! Oh Michigan, if only you had the funds to support my education for next year!
I emailed Professor Lassiter, the Director of Graduate Studies--to ask what I could strengthen about my app but have heard nothing back (I was careful to say that if he was too busy please do not feel pressured to respond to this inquiry) but a bit of closure would be nice...What can one do when you have no funds?
I wonder if some rich celebrity would write to me, and offer me some cash so I could complete my education.
As it stands, if I can aquire work with a company who subsidizes continuing education, I think I will apply to another school for the Spring and pay my way through graduate studies there. But I am getting ahead of myself here, I haven't even started to work in this potential office yet.
Economy lost 63,000 jobs last month...with things looking worse and worse for us in the next year or so, it is no wonder for me the schools are no longer interested in paying the way of some underfunded individuals.
I'm not much on the empowerment front--at times I feel like I have recovered from the blows of rejection and then right away I start to feel squeamish and afraid...I have not yet emailed back all of my recommenders to inform them of my plans for next year, or even thanked them for their hard work!
Its so much easier to feel sorry for myself in these circumstances, when the truth is, I am very fortunate to have completed my education and earned a degree. At the heart of it all, i have this terrible sense of having let myself down.
Where was my drive and ambition while my self-esteem was chipped away in undergrad? Where was it over the summer when I first began to plan this difficult trek into a life as a scholar? Where was it at that interview earlier this week, where I erred against my own personal advice time and time again and sounded like a nitwit, even as my inward voice was telling me to act and respond differently and not shake nervously.
I wish it were much easier to be confident.