lessons learned
As I lay down with my husband for a long time I couldn't help to wonder why we didn't fall in love when we first met. Then today God gave me an answer. I was picturing everything that I went through when I wasn't with him and I came to the conclusion that It was the best thing to have fallen in love years after. God does things for a reason. Someone had to take it for the team first lol. I was thinking that his experiences made him the men that he is now and it made me the woman that I am now. then I thought of all the things that i went through and i came up with a this "some people go through different fortunate or unfortunate events in their lives that might change who they are. the persons around them they either evolve with them or they get left behind." then I thought if I wouldn't been with him at the time when i changed the most maybe he would have left behind like the others. I'm not comparing but remember he has changed to he wasn't the same person that he is now. Then it make me happy to remember that God really planned this for me. Suddenly, all that pain made sense to me and it was worth it. I mean it still hurts when I remember specially when i remember my hospital days and stressful,fearful days but now everything is gone and all those people are also behind. That is crazy how you meet someone and they are a great part of your life. I'm talking about friend and also loved ones. then they become strangers because we decide to evolve in different ways and we refuse to accept each other as we go along. That is life people. My mommy told me that too. "don't worry baby when he comes back it will be too late. you will be in a different page then." Older people are so wise because they've gone through these things and they've had more time to think about them than we do lol anyways I still wonder why Mark couldn't understand why i was such a different person after a near death experience. for a long time I counldn't understand how someone couldn't imagine how that changed my life and changed my character and my routines, and my everything. Today I understand why he didn't understand me. Because God had a plan he had to take it for the team and he had to leave and be left behind by me. So he could make way to something bigger that was coming my way. And maybe I had to make way for something bigger that was coming his way idk. And i'm happy for that. I'm glad I have this wonderful man by my side who accepts the woman that I am now. he might have not met me how I was before. a funny, uplifted, cheerful person at all times. I'm not saying i'm a sad person today. I'm just not joking all the time or laughing all the time. ohhh good times. Now he is me how I was before and i am me how i am now. yeah chuy is a jokester and somewhat reminds me how i was before. oooo I just opened a new can of worms there. anyways my point in this journal is that I've changed and those who chose not to evolve with me are gone gone gone. way behind. and yeah some have decided to come back at times but i'm glad they're realized that they are way behind me now and they could never catch up. My mom was so right. i love my life how it is right now even though i work a lot but i love it as long as i'm with him i'm so happy. i love home and my babies. :)