updating

[anerise]

Man, Livejournal has been quiet recently.  I guess that's what happens though when people get older and busier- personal journaling seems to fall by the wayside.  Not to mention the impact of Facebook and Twitter!  I see some of you are still around, though, so I'll keep writing, even though I don't think my updates will ever be as frequent again as they have been in the past.

So, yeah.  If you've been keeping up, you'll know that things have been fairly awful over the last couple of weeks.  There are several reasons for this- unleashing deep-seated emotions in therapy that I didn't know how to handle, the NHS mental health system being TOTALLY SHIT and not giving me close to the amount of support I need (still fighting that battle), feeling stuck and plateaued in terms of "making progress"...all contributed into a big ball of suck that came to a head last week with the overdose and then leeched into this week. I've actually been off work since Tuesday to try and get myself back on an even keel since things were threatening to get even more out of control- it seems to have worked, as I've been calm and pretty stable yesterday and today. I should be back at work on Monday.

General life updates-

• Choir has started back now and it's great.  Now that I'm not super stressed with working full time (did I mention that I work 30 hours/week now? I can't remember) it's fun again, and a welcome respite from the rest of my life.
• I'm still struggling with my weight- I've gained probably close to 20 lbs since the beginning of the year.  Which means I've basically had to buy an entire new wardrobe as none of my old clothes fit anymore.  I hate this, of course, but I've decided that I can't really fight that battle right now.  So the comfort eating continues, although I do try to pick healthier options when I can.
• Money, money, money.  The bane of my existence right now. It's really started to sink in that with the cost of therapy and reducing my hours, my income has effectively been cut by about 30% since the beginning of this year (about a 16% drop in our joint income).  I haven't really adjusted our spending accordingly so now we're running into some money issues- nothing insurmountable, but I feel pretty stupid that I allowed it to happen. R is probably going to end up taking over some of the financial administration, as honestly I probably shouldn't be in sole charge of our finances when I'm this unwell.
• I'm going on a meditation retreat! It's not too far away now, in mid-October.  It's at a Buddhist retreat center in Devon, and I'll be gone for a week.  It's a small group (10 people) and they do 3 sittings of meditation per day, along with organic gardening in the morning and time for personal study/practice in the afternoon.  I'm really looking forward to it.
• And speaking of travel, it looks like I'll be going to Trinidad (yes, Trinidad) for my birthday! My parents have offered to fly me out there for my birthday to visit my dad (who works in Trinidad most of the time and has his own company-provided flat there).  It'll be about 10 days over Thanksgiving and early December.  It'll just be me and my dad for the most part, but I'll get to visit my extended family who I haven't seen in 15 years.  I'd love for R to come too, but my parents can only afford the one ticket and we certainly can't pay for it (see above money issues- we're having to put off my UK citizenship until next spring as well because of the cost.) But even though I will be husband-less, I am excited- it will be nice to spend time with my dad one on one.  AND GO TO THE BEACH. Oh yes, tropical paradise for my 26th birthday, here I come.