Bad Sex & Awkward Romance: a comment-a-thon

[anenko]

Bad Sex & Awkward Romance
a comment-a-thon
Dreamwidth | LivejournalI love awkward romantic declarations and sex scenes. In an attempt to encourage people to cater to my desires, I bring you a comment-a-thon

Comments

FILL: Silmarillion: Maedhros/Maglor; "and I will pretend it didn't hurt,"

[rawr_balrog]

I am bare, slung over a frozen log when you say it: “Hush, Canafinwë; Atar will hear you.” We are surrounded by a hundred leagues of sleeping forest, and our father has been dead for four yéni. Shards of ice dig into my bare knees and the heels of my palm, and I cling to the dead tree as if the hard soil will open up and consume me, and I know then that I have lost you. You were my big brother: brilliant, bold, and red like fire. They said you were Fëanor’s true son; in the end, you inherited his madness, too. All the same, I bite my tongue and I obey you, like I have always done.

I have always been biting my tongue for you. Among other things. Still, even if the sleeping trees are the only ones to whisper this morbid secret, with an arrangement like ours, silence remains the prudent choice. They overlooked it with the Ambarussa, but why not? If they shared a name and a womb, why not share a soul as well? You and I, however, they could not and would not overlook; not after everything else. I am cursed in many tongues for many things that I wrought in this life, but I would not have Maedhros be one of those things. My love for you frays like dry hemp, but broken or not, by the Valar that you and I have forsaken, I need there to be one thing in my life that I do not regret.

Absently, I wonder what became of my breeches. Ordinarily I wouldn’t mind, but you were rougher than usual, and I don’t exactly want to gallop back into civilization as if my jewels were the only ones that really matter, especially in this weather. And gods, I realize bitterly, wouldn’t that make everything easier? Thinking about nudity and torn clothing is easier than torn skin, easier than the way the strands of your copper hair fall over my shoulder and pool like blood on the snow and the rotting wood. Easier than the way I can feel the wool of your tunic scratching along my spine, the way my bare toes catch the folds of the trousers wrinkled and bunched around the ankles of the boots you did not discard.

You pull away from me for a moment. My back is slick with sweat you left behind, and frigid air rushes to fill the space where you were. I can hear you breathing. It isn’t hot against my neck, but for a moment I can close my eyes, draw upon the sense memory of how it felt. I can imagine the heat of you surrounding me, how the fire in our father’s eyes lit up your hair and your fëa and the whole world in your wake, but all of the dreams in the world cannot fill the yawning void that has opened between us.

It is awfully cold out here, and you are not keeping me warm. Around us, the winter air stirs, empty and seeking. Ice cracks and tumbles from high branches, and one of our horses gnaws at dead sticks that crack and echo in the hollow air.

And then you lunge. It’s always like this, but this time I am unprepared. You weren’t any more careful with me than you were with my possessions in your desperation for something I can’t quite articulate-it’s certainly not for me, nor for any of our brothers, least of all for poor Ambarussa, who had the daring to try what I was always too afraid to do-and when you enter me, I grit my teeth and hiss, and if I bleed… well. With all that you and I have spilled over the course of our long centuries, what’s a few more drops? It is not as if I do not deserve it.

I hate this. I hate it so much, but the fact of the matter is that every time you exit me I feel that much emptier. How long until you dig a trench in me that you cannot fill? How many months and years has it been since you perished, since the oath that sings in our blood welled up and replaced the brother that I love? And if somehow, somewhere, those accursed stones one day passed out of existence altogether, would the unrelenting knot that you have tied within me finally be released?

Damn this family and their relentless pursuit of their family jewels!

[moetushie]

This is fucking beautiful. I'll never be able to listen to that song in the same way again.

Re: Damn this family and their relentless pursuit of their family jewels!

[rawr_balrog]

I am glad that you liked it! With lyrics like "dream brother, my killer, my lover" that song really couldn't have worked for any other couple.