why do i always worry?
today i woke up alone in meryl's house again...it was raining outside, i went outside and took the long way home to think. i had a talk with a few people about someone in my life last night. i worry too much. i let it get in the way of EVERYTHING...i cant let myself have one good thing because then i realize that there has to be something wrong and i find it and ruin everything. there isnt anything wrong this time...except my fucked up emotions...again.
he's worried that i dont like him...the truth is i am even more worried about that. its almost like i like him less than i want to like him. maybe this will all come with time...i just wish i didnt have to be so confused and hurt everyone in the process. hes such a great guy and deserves a great girl...but im not sure that i can provide...
i dont want everything to be over..and i hope it isnt. i know that he is thinking the same, so hopefully he can deal with my confusion and maybe out of some weird work of god i will be able to explain how it works...doubt it. my biggest problem is not knowing...i have no clue how i feel about anything...it changes from day to day...i just want to go to my dads and get out of this right now. i love it there...its like i have a whole different life there...nothing to worry about except spending time with family and some of the best friends i have ever had in my life. isnt that a relief? that i could get up and leave and have nothing to worry about? but after those 10 days are over...in the end...im still back here with everything to worry about. ross:i hope this works out...i truely do. please dont worry...i do enough of that for the both of us.
he's worried that i dont like him...the truth is i am even more worried about that. its almost like i like him less than i want to like him. maybe this will all come with time...i just wish i didnt have to be so confused and hurt everyone in the process. hes such a great guy and deserves a great girl...but im not sure that i can provide...
i dont want everything to be over..and i hope it isnt. i know that he is thinking the same, so hopefully he can deal with my confusion and maybe out of some weird work of god i will be able to explain how it works...doubt it. my biggest problem is not knowing...i have no clue how i feel about anything...it changes from day to day...i just want to go to my dads and get out of this right now. i love it there...its like i have a whole different life there...nothing to worry about except spending time with family and some of the best friends i have ever had in my life. isnt that a relief? that i could get up and leave and have nothing to worry about? but after those 10 days are over...in the end...im still back here with everything to worry about. ross:i hope this works out...i truely do. please dont worry...i do enough of that for the both of us.