[text]
I've 8een living here for a while now, and I have not 8een spending it idly! No, as I said, I've 8een figuring out you humans as 8est I can. With how ridiculously weeeeeeeeird you are, this is not easy, 8ut 8etween watching people and reading up on the su8ject, I think I'm getting the h8ng of it!
O8serv8tions:
1. The human lifecycle seems to start with appearing randomly out of nowhere, in the middle of the street.
2. The new human is then a8ducted 8y adult humans who, as an initiation trial, attempt to talk them to death. This seldom works.
3. Once this trial is overcome, humans all get crammed into one pre-m8de 8uilding to live together. Sometimes multiple of them even live in the s8me room!
4. Despite these conditions, the goal is apparently NOT for the stronger humans to slaughter the weaker ones and advance the more desirable genes 8ack into the pool. No deathmatches in the hallways, no cullings of any kind!
5. The primary activity of at least this swarm of humans involves forming 8adass adventuring squads and r8iding the 8east-ridden outskirts to collect crystals. May8e this is why you're not trying to kill each other - if there were any fewer of you, the monsters would walk right in and slaughter everyone????????
6. At some point, 8ased on some sort of complicated set of specific8tions a8out things like gender for some reason, a human picks exactly one m8, for life. For life!
7. This is followed by a distur8ingly 8iological process that I'm not even going to talk a8out, oh my gog, which somehow results in more humans.
8. No horns! And your skin comes in all sorts of colors, all of them weird.
Humans sure are confusing! ::::?
-arachnidsGrip
[[2% handwaved memory regains - 1% on the name Marquise Spinneret Midfang, and 1% on the handle arachnidsGrip.
O8serv8tions:
1. The human lifecycle seems to start with appearing randomly out of nowhere, in the middle of the street.
2. The new human is then a8ducted 8y adult humans who, as an initiation trial, attempt to talk them to death. This seldom works.
3. Once this trial is overcome, humans all get crammed into one pre-m8de 8uilding to live together. Sometimes multiple of them even live in the s8me room!
4. Despite these conditions, the goal is apparently NOT for the stronger humans to slaughter the weaker ones and advance the more desirable genes 8ack into the pool. No deathmatches in the hallways, no cullings of any kind!
5. The primary activity of at least this swarm of humans involves forming 8adass adventuring squads and r8iding the 8east-ridden outskirts to collect crystals. May8e this is why you're not trying to kill each other - if there were any fewer of you, the monsters would walk right in and slaughter everyone????????
6. At some point, 8ased on some sort of complicated set of specific8tions a8out things like gender for some reason, a human picks exactly one m8, for life. For life!
7. This is followed by a distur8ingly 8iological process that I'm not even going to talk a8out, oh my gog, which somehow results in more humans.
8. No horns! And your skin comes in all sorts of colors, all of them weird.
Humans sure are confusing! ::::?
-arachnidsGrip
[[2% handwaved memory regains - 1% on the name Marquise Spinneret Midfang, and 1% on the handle arachnidsGrip.