Something is going on
I have a feeling that something is not being divulged to me, and I can't figure out if what is going on real or there is an underlying reason for something different. And by the way, the reason I have an account here is usually the reason I write in this journal, i.e. the person who suggested I have this account is the reason for me to feel depressed and write in here. That's a given. So, why do I think there a plot against me, and if there is, why don't I act in a way to walk away from it, and take another route to go around it? Why eat my own insides ("it's not what you eat, it's what's eating you"). Being obsessive is both a female and a gemini quality, and I unfortunately am both. Why don't I have self-pride to just be strong and crap all over what's bothering me? Why do I let it all bother me so deeply inside? And, if I have to, why not just replace the "faulty" with "new" and "exciting"? What's stopping me? Why the torture? Why the sleepless nights? Why, why, why, why? Oh, I forgot, after a life changing experience, I promised myself to never ask "why" again. But then again, ....never say "never". All is ahead, life is existing, potential is there, just go for it: enjoy it, live it, love it, move on.