Irreversible loss

[aneeta_04]

There is nothing as irreversible as death of a closed one. Till now, I have always thought of heart breaks as the worst pain, but I just realized death is a separation in which there is no room for future. My team-mate B came in to work today after a 2 week break after her dad's sudden demise

Comments

[upstatenyer]

I lost my dad to cancer and we had a lot of time to prepare for the "end" but then you really cannot be totally prepared I guess. My drew strength from a lot of sources. My mom did not want to face anyone and pretty much kept to herself, not many people understood that but who the hell cares - it was her way of coming to terms with life. My younger sister sat under a table for three hours before anyone noticed, but those three hours she said were when she found strength to look at my dad's body and not break down. My youngest sister was away from home and come home the next day - she leaned on my younger sister for support. And me - I was too busy getting things done to grieve at that point. I left to the US a month later and it was then when i really realized what hit me. My strength came from My husband who had also lost his dad over 8 years ago. He does not say much but whenever i had to cry he just was there.
I always though dealing with death is hard but I think the few days/weeks/months later is the hardest. When everyone goes back to normal and life takes over and every now and then we are left with the longing to tell the departed soul some random thing. For me dealing with the funeral arrangements was not hard - it had to be done. But dealing with raw emotions days/months after was hard. It was during those times I would pick up the phone call a close friend and just talk/cry and not having to listen to "don't cry - time heals" was the best comfort i ever got. there have been one sided conversations where i have poured my heart out and not a word was said from the other person on the line... just being there was comfort enough.

[aneeta_04]

Thank you P, this was very useful, bcos I am very confused, what the person in grief is actually going through. My teamie B, sits just next to me, but she is lost and doesnt want to talk anything, I have left her to her own world these 2 days, but I was not sure, if that was the right thing to do. I did talk to her very few things generally, but I think I sensed she wanted some quiet time, so I preferred not to disturb her much.