better version
I go home tomorrow. Or at least, I start the journey there. So many things are changing beyond just my locale. My life right now is like the moment just after you toss something in the air. I'm at the peak of my climb - just at the point of weightlessness - about to start my decent. Everything is up in the air, in other words.
I can honestly say that the major decisions I've made in my life the past ten months (moving to NYC, moving to DC, moving home) have all made me incredibly happy and have been terribly beneficial for me. I am at the prime of my life right now. There were a few bumps along the road, of course. Mainly boys. Mainly New York City boys. Mainly alcohol/loneliness induced mistakes made with New York City boys in New York City beds. There were many reasons to leave that place. I was not the better version of me there. In fact, I don't know who that was. I drank like a badass, oozed sexy confidence, huddled in dark, dingy bars with the intellectual crowd from Strand with my intellectual latin lover by my side, came home late more nights than not, smoked, went to too many concerts and slipped four letter words in between most that came out of my mouth. Oh my gosh, for a second I was "cool."
Glad that's over.
Now all I want is a hike, a waterfall and Ted. Right now, that sounds like heaven. This peace in me now, this absolute wholeness, this is such a better feeling than anything I felt in New York. I wouldn't trade it for anything.
I can honestly say that the major decisions I've made in my life the past ten months (moving to NYC, moving to DC, moving home) have all made me incredibly happy and have been terribly beneficial for me. I am at the prime of my life right now. There were a few bumps along the road, of course. Mainly boys. Mainly New York City boys. Mainly alcohol/loneliness induced mistakes made with New York City boys in New York City beds. There were many reasons to leave that place. I was not the better version of me there. In fact, I don't know who that was. I drank like a badass, oozed sexy confidence, huddled in dark, dingy bars with the intellectual crowd from Strand with my intellectual latin lover by my side, came home late more nights than not, smoked, went to too many concerts and slipped four letter words in between most that came out of my mouth. Oh my gosh, for a second I was "cool."
Glad that's over.
Now all I want is a hike, a waterfall and Ted. Right now, that sounds like heaven. This peace in me now, this absolute wholeness, this is such a better feeling than anything I felt in New York. I wouldn't trade it for anything.