(no subject)
Title: Blurring the Lines
Fandom: Super Junior
Pairing: Kangin/Eeteuk
Rating: PG-13 ish? :\ Idek with this one..
Word Count: 1864
Summary: The fine line between like and love is easy to blur when you've got someone by your side that understands you more than you do yourself.
Disclaimer: Here if it's really needed.
Notes: Just something that's been stuck in my head for a few days and it needed to come out. I've been playing with different styles so it may come out a bit awkward, it was even awkward for me to write for a while but I'm quite satisfied with how it turned out in the end. Very loosely based on my Kangteuk with glonk so I suppose she should be mentioned in here somewhere or another, surprise surprise. My apologies if they're the slightest bit out of character to your views of them. ♥
He likes the way that the boy smiles at him on his first day as an official trainee. He won't admit it at the time, it's against everything his image allows for. But he can't help the tiniest of twitches at the corner of his own mouth as he nods at the boy and take his spot on the dance floor, plodding along as best he can to the instructor's demands.
He likes the way the dimple on the boy's face, he has since learned his name is Jungsu, hides a biting sense of sarcasm and perfectly placed insults when necessity calls. It doesn't happen often and definitely not when any of his close friends are around. He is loved and that offers him protection, anyone that knows him would stand up for him in a second if he needed it. But when they're not around he can take care of himself. He doesn't need to be looked after as much as he likes it. He still doesn't know Youngwoon has seen it and he wouldn't have stepped in anyway. Sometimes it's good to know what you are capable of on your own terms and Youngwoon has a feeling it shocks more than just the offending parties most of the time.
He likes the way Jungsu laughs. Loud and obnoxious and happy. It's hard for the older boy to fully let go sometimes, something that saddens Youngwoon when he really thinks about it. But the longer he's there the more he sees the wall chipping and the more he's able to wiggle his way into the cracks, bad boy image be damned. The more he's able to hear that laugh and know that he's somehow doing something right. He isn't sure what that is still but he's decided he doesn't care as long as the happy stays a while longer.
He likes the way that Jungsu won't take his shit even when a well placed glare and a few rough words would have most of the other boys wide eyed and repentant. Even if there was nothing to be sorry about. He has those days and always has, but Jungsu doesn't care. He'll still stick around, call Youngwoon an asshole and then sit down beside him and hand over a bottle of water and a dimpled smile and Youngwoon can't help but return it, though the roll of his eyes and quiet mumbles under his breath remain. The bottles never get opened but the smiles last throughout their quiet times not much else needing to be said. In this world they've thrust themselves into a little silence can be all the difference in the world, but it actually means something when there's someone who understands there to soak it all in with you.
He likes the way Jungsu struts around when their friends are watching, now. He's gained confidence he didn't even know was missing and the dimple is on display more than ever now. Youngwoon doesn't think it was anything he needed; he's always always been someone perfect in Youngwoon's eyes and he's told him as much. He'd just been brushed off with a roll of the eyes and a half smile as if Youngwoon was teasing him and needed to find something better to do. Even still it's nice to see him joking and talking and letting out a side of himself that not many people knew was even there. Youngwoon knew. He'd always known.
He likes the way those delicate hands wring together as their group waits in a dimly lit corridor with too many people hovering around to breathe properly. Not that they would be breathing properly even if the cameras and fussing stylists and managers weren't buzzing around anxiously. There's really no turning back, now, and neither of them would even dream of it after the glimpses of the real crowd and signs held just for them. Love that was being shown for them. Their names have changed and their appearances have been altered into concepts befitting of idol stars of the day but when all the make up is washed off and the costumes are off Eeteuk will be put away for the night and so will Kangin. He reaches over in the small space he's managed to make for himself and squeezes both of those hands, stilling their movement and lets the grateful look that's returned calm the butterflies running rampant in his own stomach.
He likes the way the tears roll down Eeteuk's face, fat and fast and real. It may be something horrible to admit and he probably wouldn't aloud but he does all the same. The lines between Jungsu and Eeteuk have blurred over time just as the ones have between Youngwoon and Kangin, but some things could never be erased no matter how much people tried to smudge their edges and shape them into something more publicly acceptable. Those images aren't real. But Eeteuk's tears are and the way that he clings to Kangin when they come and cries until no more sound comes and his body shakes against the larger frame, slowly slowly being lulled into exhausted sleep by an entirely too gentle to be believed hand rubbing at his back, that is real. He feels extra shitty on those days but somehow still feels free.
He loves the way the smaller body feels pressed against his as they lay together on the couch watching a movie. It's been a long week and they both know it's only going to get longer but for now nothing can touch him. Everyone else drifted off to bed ages ago and they should probably have done so as well but Kangin can't bring himself to break the silence to mention it and Eeteuk's not complaining either so they continue to lay there, one arm tossed carelessly over a slender hip and the other pillowing Kangin's head in a way that probably shouldn't be comfortable and probably won't be comfortable in the morning but he can't be bothered to move. A small snore breaks the silence and as disappointed as he is to hear sounds, the tv having been tuned out in his mind ages ago, Kangin can't help but smile as he cuts off the lamp beside the couch and pulls the blanket higher around their chests.
He loves the way Eeteuk proves to him over and over again that he may be tiny but he's not easily breakable by any means. He can be as rough in private as Kangin is in public. The words that come out of his mouth sometimes make Kangin blush. He bites, scratches, kicks, plays as dirty as he has to to win and if Kangin comes out with a few battle wounds along the way so much the better for both of them. No matter the outcome it always ends the same for them anyway. Kangin standing between Eeteuk's legs as the smaller boy sits on the bathroom counter applying band-aids with expert precision and Kangin playing the victim he's perfected so well over the years, the pout that not many get to see on full display as Eeteuk giggles at him and pokes at his cheeks til they're both laughing and anyone passing the bathroom is shaking their head slowly with various renditions of 'not again' being played over and over again.
He loves the look Eeteuk gets in his eyes just before Kangin kisses him for the first time. They're unsure, embarrassed, maybe even a hint of terror in them. He knows that Eeteuk regrets everything that's spilled out of his mouth but he shouldn't. Kangin doesn't care. No, he does care, but not the way Eeteuk thinks he does. As he smooths his hands over the soft skin of the other's cheeks he smiles at the look in the boy's eyes; it only serves to increase the amount of confusion in them before they widen, shock being added to the mix before they close altogether and he manages to kiss back after a moment. He's almost disappointed afterwards when the eyes open again and the look has disappeared and he knows he probably won't be seeing it again. He likes surprises.
He loves the way Eeteuk holds his hand confidently when they're around the other members, not bothering to say anything or do anything out of the norm. He doesn't see the need to speak the words to let everyone know. He doesn't feel he owes anyone an explanation and Kangin agrees with him entirely. Even still, the fact that none of them bat a lash at the 'new behavior' or even at the small peck to Kangin's lips before the younger boy leaves one morning for schedules, neither of them thinking about anyone else being around, means a lot to Kangin and he is finding more and more to be happy about as time goes by and just that is enough to keep him going no matter how tired he might feel sometimes or how bad his body aches on the worst mornings when he drags himself out of the bed, the still sleeping body shuffling into his spot and burrowing into his fading warmth. He's got things to work for now.
He loves how easy the word slips out of his mouth as he's laying in bed with Eeteuk, another one of their long talks having been going on since they both got home, exhausted but still wanting time to 'catch up'. They've been having a lot more of them than normal lately, but he doesn't stop to think about that or anything else as he sees the hopeful eyes look up at him. He wants to know if Kangin really meant it and how could he have meant anything but? He's not sure when like turned to love, though the ones around them probably could tell them with pinpoint accuracy. He was never one for details, preferring the view of the bigger picture. He's not sure of many things anymore, but he knows without a shadow of a doubt when he's questioned that he means it.
He loves the way Eeteuk sounds when he says it back. He loves the way that he calls him 'Youngwoon' as he looks at him with wide eyes as if he really needs to make him believe that it's true. Jungsu never could lie to him and Eeteuk's even worse at it years later. He loves that after it's laid out in the open everything goes back to how it's always been and the only thing to mark the occasion is a slight tightening of the fingers entwined between their bodies on the too small mattress. Flashy and in your face has never been them. They have Eeteuk and Kangin and the lights and cameras and hopefully many more years of Super Junior to deal with that kind of attention. But for right now, for just the time being, they're back to being Jungsu and Youngwoon again and what they were in the past, or will be in the future doesn't matter to them. For now they're just them and that's what Kangin loves the most.