comfortably numb
Last one left. Everyone else in the house is already peaced out, and I head via bus to the towne of the Assiest intentions tomorrow afternoon. Yep, home.
Well, sorta. Jenn's house. Close enough. I consider Ithaca my real home, but refer to the general Orange County area as Asstowne and a visit is always based on my staying somewhere else. It's funny, this just about marks 3 years since I came out to my parents over break...which then led of course to my living on my own, doing school my own, and not being welcome back.
But it's been so long...and I'm tired. I'm tired of feeling like we're fighting, and I'm tired of the thought of being anywhere near my hometown being awkward. I'm done with that, I have grown so much and I know it's not worth the stress or the consideration. I'm going back this time with a good perspective...one possibly aided by the fact that I'll barely be there a week and a half before heading back to IC for New Year's.
I was thinking of all the conversations I'll have to prep myself for...and I'm kind of smirking knowing how it'll all have to play out. I was going to dye my hair black before I went back, because let's face it...it's easier to just not have to deal in the first place. Still, I got a new hat last night and it's wintry and I'll be wearing that for a while anyway...plus I feel like a bit of a touch up of blue and pink could be a nice change. We'll see. I also realize not many back home peoples have seen my tattoos...whatever. Wearing short sleeves will be a strain I don't care to concern myself over. Piercings...ehh, I don't even keep track of who cares about what. Perhaps an "are you seeing anyone" kind of conversation will pop up. Hah. But hell, I'll be totally straightforward...No bad pun intended :(
So that brings up David. This semester's been great in so many respects, and the way our relationship started and has continued just rocks even more on top of how awesome things have been otherwise. If Brian didn't co-direct Rocky and Lo-Carb wasn't Frank, I probably wouldn't have met him.
Shit, we probably wouldn't have had some of the people we did at a lot of parties and fun things here at our place. I'm super grateful for all the awesome people who used to chill at the Suite and lived nearby and all that stuff still come around regularly, cuz they're still awesome. Having people like Boxy, Crazy Doody, Corey, Mike, Zacky D (hey, he may have got on my nerves as a roommate sometimes but as a guest he's a-otay in my book) ...just to name a few...haha...and everyone that comes along with everyone else is great. Living just a few doors down from so many other sweet people and seeing them everyday basically is great too...and of course my new roommates are the kick-ass.
I feel as though I haven't spent as much time lately with Lo-Carb...but hopefully he won't feel like a 3rd wheel. I like spending time with both him and David individually...but of course I've been in a 3rd wheel spot before so I know how it can be. Either way, I'll do what I can so it's not like that. They're both super great and I'm lucky to have them both in my life at all...And on top of the rest of my housemates I can't not love this house. The game of first in slash last out with Shelby and Angie is always a great starter and finisher to my breaks. And Anne...well, as much as tempers have flared lately, I know that it's amazing what a little time can do. Besides, we work together too well not to keep plotting and planning. And then the Sovern Nation of Jew (Brett) continues to provide at least some sense of balance somewhere in the confines of the Frat of Superheroes.
I'm sure I'll have something interesting to report into slash after the Tour De Asstowne...
Well, sorta. Jenn's house. Close enough. I consider Ithaca my real home, but refer to the general Orange County area as Asstowne and a visit is always based on my staying somewhere else. It's funny, this just about marks 3 years since I came out to my parents over break...which then led of course to my living on my own, doing school my own, and not being welcome back.
But it's been so long...and I'm tired. I'm tired of feeling like we're fighting, and I'm tired of the thought of being anywhere near my hometown being awkward. I'm done with that, I have grown so much and I know it's not worth the stress or the consideration. I'm going back this time with a good perspective...one possibly aided by the fact that I'll barely be there a week and a half before heading back to IC for New Year's.
I was thinking of all the conversations I'll have to prep myself for...and I'm kind of smirking knowing how it'll all have to play out. I was going to dye my hair black before I went back, because let's face it...it's easier to just not have to deal in the first place. Still, I got a new hat last night and it's wintry and I'll be wearing that for a while anyway...plus I feel like a bit of a touch up of blue and pink could be a nice change. We'll see. I also realize not many back home peoples have seen my tattoos...whatever. Wearing short sleeves will be a strain I don't care to concern myself over. Piercings...ehh, I don't even keep track of who cares about what. Perhaps an "are you seeing anyone" kind of conversation will pop up. Hah. But hell, I'll be totally straightforward...No bad pun intended :(
So that brings up David. This semester's been great in so many respects, and the way our relationship started and has continued just rocks even more on top of how awesome things have been otherwise. If Brian didn't co-direct Rocky and Lo-Carb wasn't Frank, I probably wouldn't have met him.
Shit, we probably wouldn't have had some of the people we did at a lot of parties and fun things here at our place. I'm super grateful for all the awesome people who used to chill at the Suite and lived nearby and all that stuff still come around regularly, cuz they're still awesome. Having people like Boxy, Crazy Doody, Corey, Mike, Zacky D (hey, he may have got on my nerves as a roommate sometimes but as a guest he's a-otay in my book) ...just to name a few...haha...and everyone that comes along with everyone else is great. Living just a few doors down from so many other sweet people and seeing them everyday basically is great too...and of course my new roommates are the kick-ass.
I feel as though I haven't spent as much time lately with Lo-Carb...but hopefully he won't feel like a 3rd wheel. I like spending time with both him and David individually...but of course I've been in a 3rd wheel spot before so I know how it can be. Either way, I'll do what I can so it's not like that. They're both super great and I'm lucky to have them both in my life at all...And on top of the rest of my housemates I can't not love this house. The game of first in slash last out with Shelby and Angie is always a great starter and finisher to my breaks. And Anne...well, as much as tempers have flared lately, I know that it's amazing what a little time can do. Besides, we work together too well not to keep plotting and planning. And then the Sovern Nation of Jew (Brett) continues to provide at least some sense of balance somewhere in the confines of the Frat of Superheroes.
I'm sure I'll have something interesting to report into slash after the Tour De Asstowne...