Growing older, going blind and losing space...and all those things no one ever told you of...
So I'm twenty five and yes I do feel different. I'm maturing and less adapting.
I want changes and I can't wait for them to happen....I want them today, tomorrow at most and I get frustrated when I don't see them happening.
I've had alcohol poisoning on Sunday, a result of a lot of booze ingested on Saturday, followed by a sandwich from a Kebab shop that gave me a viral infection which made me violently ill. I felt like I was getting a really really bad flu, body shivering, my head feeling like it would split in two with so much pain, my body was aching all over and I was having cold sweats. Over time I got better but even though I went to work on monday, on tuesday I couldn't get out of bed....I forced myself to work on wednesday and left at lunch time to the doctor, who said go back home, straight to bed and lots of liquid and off work for a week.
I wish I were at work though...I don't feel well and my mind needs to be kept busy so it doesn't start working against me. Which it has...again.
The good thing about growing up is that you realize that we battle so much to look good...and sometimes you just gotta accept that some things you cannot change. You might look presentable but that does not make you good looking. You might seem good looking to someone but that doesn't mean you will appeal to everyone. I came to the realization that nothing is forever and nothing will stay. The message is not "enjoy it while it lasts", but "don't get attached to it." Experience shows that not even plans you make with people you've known for years remain. I see myself today walking with different people than I did in the past, even though I miss the ones I left behind dearly. We all go different ways and it's all a part of growing up no matter how much it hurts or how much we hate it. Unfortunately apparently everything is replaceable.
The funny thing is that's what I could have learned from both my favourite novels...
Glamorous Sky - Nana (Mika Nakashima)
"...Is there any value to a love you've already given up?
Ah I sigh, spit out and go
Booze & Rock N' Roll
Breathing harder for the battle
FLASHBACK
Your flavour,
Ah remember...
I want to decorate my heart,
With these stars I gathered
In order to tie our dreams together
We dance in these glamorous days."
xx
A. Love