594: I've Been So Bad at Keeping This Up...
Well, this journal, obviously. But also, that's just been the story of my life this summer.
Job front: utter fail. Well, better than the summer after high school. Then, I was still too overwhelmed to really try. This summer, I just didn't have enough strength after a totally burnt-out crashing-and-burning semester to keep it up... and I gave up.
Then, when I had teh chance to do something productive and volunteer at the festival... for some reason when I get to the door, I freak out. Why? Because it could've been awesome? It's just too scary and I hate this sense of free-falling? I think he was right and I *do* need professional help... I feel so depressed tonight.
I guess the main reason is this financial aid issue--which is partly my fault. I turned in all the paperwork by the last deadline (July 17th), and they said it should go through in six to eight weeks, which would've been in time for the payment deadline of September 11th. Only, now they've added another two weeks on that and telling me I need to make payment plan arrangements...
Only: if you have financial aid, you can't do the payment plan. o.0
And now my sister is refusing to cosign another loan with me... for some reason? I mean, she signed 'em the last two years, and it's not like I'm planning on defaulting on *my* loans. *rolls eyes*
Whatever... so now I need to somehow come up with however much money... 1000, 2000? something like that.
Hopefully I can figure it out, one way of another. I'll go back on Monday and talk to a counselor or something and see what options are actually *available* to me, if any. *throws up hands*
The ironic thing is, there's a *slim* possiblity it could work out? 8-10 weeks means the soonest it would go through is just before the deadline; the latest would be right after. So it could go either way? I don't even know...
And if I had sent my fafsa to them when I submitted my application, instead of after I knew I was accepted, this wouldn't even be a problem. So, I'm slightly retarded and paying for it now. Literally.
And now that my frustration is out, I still feel somewhat depressed. I guess, if this can just work out and I can go to Sac State without issue, I feel like everything will be fine, I just want it to work out and move on with my life and try and put the last six to nine months* behind me, y'know?
*I think I will try to get you updated properly on this summer--has been odd.
Job front: utter fail. Well, better than the summer after high school. Then, I was still too overwhelmed to really try. This summer, I just didn't have enough strength after a totally burnt-out crashing-and-burning semester to keep it up... and I gave up.
Then, when I had teh chance to do something productive and volunteer at the festival... for some reason when I get to the door, I freak out. Why? Because it could've been awesome? It's just too scary and I hate this sense of free-falling? I think he was right and I *do* need professional help... I feel so depressed tonight.
I guess the main reason is this financial aid issue--which is partly my fault. I turned in all the paperwork by the last deadline (July 17th), and they said it should go through in six to eight weeks, which would've been in time for the payment deadline of September 11th. Only, now they've added another two weeks on that and telling me I need to make payment plan arrangements...
Only: if you have financial aid, you can't do the payment plan. o.0
And now my sister is refusing to cosign another loan with me... for some reason? I mean, she signed 'em the last two years, and it's not like I'm planning on defaulting on *my* loans. *rolls eyes*
Whatever... so now I need to somehow come up with however much money... 1000, 2000? something like that.
Hopefully I can figure it out, one way of another. I'll go back on Monday and talk to a counselor or something and see what options are actually *available* to me, if any. *throws up hands*
The ironic thing is, there's a *slim* possiblity it could work out? 8-10 weeks means the soonest it would go through is just before the deadline; the latest would be right after. So it could go either way? I don't even know...
And if I had sent my fafsa to them when I submitted my application, instead of after I knew I was accepted, this wouldn't even be a problem. So, I'm slightly retarded and paying for it now. Literally.
And now that my frustration is out, I still feel somewhat depressed. I guess, if this can just work out and I can go to Sac State without issue, I feel like everything will be fine, I just want it to work out and move on with my life and try and put the last six to nine months* behind me, y'know?
*I think I will try to get you updated properly on this summer--has been odd.