525: So...
--You know how in my last post I decided I would be a calmer person? Yeah, that's made me kinda more procrastinaty. Or, at least, that wouldn't be a problem, if I'd been more diligent earlier--or hadn't seemingly forsaken my ability to just spit papers out. 'Tis bad, what with final papers due, and not to mention finals.
In a matter of hours I have two of my three finals (French is on Thursday). On Friday, I plan to leave for Sacramento (more on that later, obviously). So, I think I will mostly study for those, and try and finish whatever I can in the afternoon today and on Wednesday, and that will have to be good enough, whether these final papers are late or not. *shrug* That's the point I'm at anyway, whilst I'm feverishly going through Paradise Lost, so I'll be ready for English final at 8:30 and then I can write my paper in the afternoon, after Linguistics final, which I'm just bumming through, 'cause I wasn't able to finish the final project and doubt I'll be able to.
So, I feel like a failure. But I'm so worn out after this semester that I almost don't care. I'll take the blows to my grades and just suffer through. It's not like I'll get F's... it's only this last part of the semester that's turned to shit.
I'm just looking forward to next semester and a fresh start... Now that I'm not going to be copy-editing the damn QC any longer. I mostly wanted to write anyway--and in addition to copy-editing the damn thing each week, I also wrote 18 articles this semester. *collapses* So, I've been very worn out, and haven't been able to do a quality job on everything I'm doing--the gender club, the radio show, academics in general--because of the quantity of things I've been attempting. I'm not one of those people who can be strong enough to power through this. I'm burned out and I admit my fault.
So, next semester: much less. I might do stories here and there for the QC, but now that the biggest thing is gone, hopefully I'll be back to sanity. I just wish I hadn't been so stubborn and refused to quit halfway through--I wanted to see it to the bitter end, 'cause I'm like that, but it's really kinda gotten me in this crappy situation. Oh well...
So, that should explain why I've been so absent of late. In a couple of days, once I'm through this last bit and back in Sacramento, maybe I can get back on this. I find it's a good to get things out, very de-stressifying.
Okay, off to reading more Milton...*peace*