oh to grow up hypnotized / and then try to shake yourself awake

[andygrrrl]

Today, Dear Reader, was all about Coping Mechanisms. Mainly, how I've let mine slip, because I was feeling better, and then when the shit hit the fan, visa/job/oh-crap-my-mom's-a-narcissist wise, I didn't have them to fall back on.

I mean, no wonder I'm having anxiety attacks every time I try to work on my dissertation.

• Obviously, I'm gonna have to CBT this thing. Despite my reservations about CBT, it does work for my anxiety, and for practical stuff.
• I want to make my yoga practice more disciplined, try and challenge myself a bit more. I want to do my vinyasa CD on a regular basis. And I'm going to explore surya namaskar with more intention, because even though I don't find it that physically demanding, I seem to have a real psychological resistance to it, and I want to find out why. And I'm following up my yoga sessions with a round of EFT.
• I need to get some kind of physical excercise every day, even if it's just walking briskly down to the central library and back. That's still a good 45 minute walk. I just have to suck it up and get used to British weather----it rains here, a lot, get over it, Andygrrrl!
• Combine some mindfulness techniques with the CBT, so that I stop judging myself so harshly every time I have an anxiety attack or a depressive episode. I need to learn compassion for myself.

Sigh. This whole Saturn-return thing's a bitch. But it's either do it now, or do it later, I guess.

Anyway. Today in 101 Awesome Things:

#2. Devising Star Trek drinking games with tea_drinker77  when we watch Voyager or TNG. Drink every time Janeway changes personalities or Chakotay whips out his medicine bag! Chug when Ryker leers at Deanna! Good times.
title and lj cut: Ani Difranco, "Reprieve"