some head nodding shit

[andybody]

24 questions and no one to ask
i prayed but got put on hold and told to call back
all lines are busy up to heaven
and all excess call volume has been rerouted to seven eleven
(just make a buck and spend it and dont ask questions)
unless you like the echo of one sided digression
and then you might have become me
bouncing frustration of the walls
in tiny rubber balls of philosophic obsession repeatedly
possibly i could show you the answer
if it would only hold still
and i could get me hands on the bastard
long enough to tell you anything more
than its little, furry and flighty
and bites like a whore
but its the core of everything we lack
the anonymity of an impersonal 'call back'
and the oversight of forgetting what we had
until its gone and the hole in your head
makes it into some ironic icon of lead
heavy to carry but well polished
by years of self-demolition demolished

i guess food is nothing without hunger
and you can't get over it until you've gone under
choked water and fought back to the surface
but i've never felt so alive as when im half dead
and thought i
was tempted to die
instead
this pointlessness gives me purpose