my inspiration is in a wheelchair
Since I arrived in New York, the message has been that things are out of my hands. “You don’t pick NY, she picks you.” “Your steps have been ordered.” etc... Life picks you. You are here for a reason. The creative, ultimate intelligence chose you, saw you fit to live for some purpose. What is your purpose? Your destiny is always coming to you and you are always the oldest you’ve ever been. You need to be as prepared as you can to see your blessings, your signs, and follow your inspirations.
If you want to listen to your inner voice start by stopping. If you’re abusing yourself, hurting yourself, keeping yourself in a bad situation, staying someplace you can’t flourish in…simply stop. You have that kind of power in your life. Danielle White, my boss at Sephora and very important inspiration to me, said, “No one can get into your body and enact change.” The bigger, subtler, and most vital hints from the universe will follow when you take that first step. Begin the transformation.
I have come dangerously close to being run over by people in electric wheelchairs several times recently and at the beginning of today it happened again. Later, just as I realized the persistence of this particular hint, I walked through an entire tour group of handicapped people boarding several buses along the side of the street. I wondered what the universe is trying to tell me. Am I going to become handicapped? Do I need to be reminded to be grateful for my legs, my arms, my mind and my heart? Yes. I do not have to have them, but I do. And I realize more that I must refine my gratitude. It’s about the essentials. I have shoes and food and a bed…well, futon.
In order to gain the most insight from the coincidence, I had to investigate. The Master Key System and The Spontaneous Fulfillment of Desire taught that the external world is a reflection of your internal world. How am I handicapped internally? Yes, I feel it. I noticed the truth in that small acknowledgement I made to myself today. There is definitely a hole I’ve ignored. I lived with it as the people in wheelchairs do-getting around NYC seeing sights, subways, all these stairs, 4th floor walk-ups… No! What is it inside me that needs recognition and some mending? I’m going to start listening to my voice. Find out who it is. Honestly, I think if humanity owes anything to life it’s to listen and to be inspired.
What I regret is not being cherished for who I truly am. I was raised to hate what I am. That being gay is a terrible, terrible fact-something I came to define as gruesome, unwanted, and criminal. That is how I was raised. There is still ignorance to the atrocity. I see it vividly in the ban on gay marriage in California and when the boy in Puerto Rico was decapitated, dismembered, and burned. I’d like the opportunity to fill that tremendous void. I want others to know that what they are is special, worthy, and natural. That somebody is listening to the truths in their hearts.
The difficulty I have with this is that the boy in Puerto Rico already knew it! That’s what enabled him to live his life as freely and openly as he did. That’s what he gets for being brave, for overcoming the devastating struggle of fighting off the hate that is such a societal norm it’s acceptable in everyday slang. Even I have friends who still use the phrase, “that’s so gay” and the term, “faggot.”
So there. Take that, Brain. A forced expulsion-a stomach pump for the mind. To lay out the ugliest, partly digested mess of thoughts. No one’s going to feel sorry for a 23 y/o, grown man who is responsible for himself and his feelings and behaviors. If you’ve ever had that moment of clarity while studying atrocities of the past-the Holocaust, racism, whatever, and wondered how people were capable of that, how they treated people like animals, tortured them; then I ask you to take that same perspective to your society, your surroundings today and investigate the psychological Holocaust that still lives.
If you want to listen to your inner voice start by stopping. If you’re abusing yourself, hurting yourself, keeping yourself in a bad situation, staying someplace you can’t flourish in…simply stop. You have that kind of power in your life. Danielle White, my boss at Sephora and very important inspiration to me, said, “No one can get into your body and enact change.” The bigger, subtler, and most vital hints from the universe will follow when you take that first step. Begin the transformation.
I have come dangerously close to being run over by people in electric wheelchairs several times recently and at the beginning of today it happened again. Later, just as I realized the persistence of this particular hint, I walked through an entire tour group of handicapped people boarding several buses along the side of the street. I wondered what the universe is trying to tell me. Am I going to become handicapped? Do I need to be reminded to be grateful for my legs, my arms, my mind and my heart? Yes. I do not have to have them, but I do. And I realize more that I must refine my gratitude. It’s about the essentials. I have shoes and food and a bed…well, futon.
In order to gain the most insight from the coincidence, I had to investigate. The Master Key System and The Spontaneous Fulfillment of Desire taught that the external world is a reflection of your internal world. How am I handicapped internally? Yes, I feel it. I noticed the truth in that small acknowledgement I made to myself today. There is definitely a hole I’ve ignored. I lived with it as the people in wheelchairs do-getting around NYC seeing sights, subways, all these stairs, 4th floor walk-ups… No! What is it inside me that needs recognition and some mending? I’m going to start listening to my voice. Find out who it is. Honestly, I think if humanity owes anything to life it’s to listen and to be inspired.
What I regret is not being cherished for who I truly am. I was raised to hate what I am. That being gay is a terrible, terrible fact-something I came to define as gruesome, unwanted, and criminal. That is how I was raised. There is still ignorance to the atrocity. I see it vividly in the ban on gay marriage in California and when the boy in Puerto Rico was decapitated, dismembered, and burned. I’d like the opportunity to fill that tremendous void. I want others to know that what they are is special, worthy, and natural. That somebody is listening to the truths in their hearts.
The difficulty I have with this is that the boy in Puerto Rico already knew it! That’s what enabled him to live his life as freely and openly as he did. That’s what he gets for being brave, for overcoming the devastating struggle of fighting off the hate that is such a societal norm it’s acceptable in everyday slang. Even I have friends who still use the phrase, “that’s so gay” and the term, “faggot.”
So there. Take that, Brain. A forced expulsion-a stomach pump for the mind. To lay out the ugliest, partly digested mess of thoughts. No one’s going to feel sorry for a 23 y/o, grown man who is responsible for himself and his feelings and behaviors. If you’ve ever had that moment of clarity while studying atrocities of the past-the Holocaust, racism, whatever, and wondered how people were capable of that, how they treated people like animals, tortured them; then I ask you to take that same perspective to your society, your surroundings today and investigate the psychological Holocaust that still lives.