With Love From Jossie
And today was of course, Friday, so did absolutely no work. In English, however, amused both myself and Brownyn by writing the following:
ANGEL Season 4 / Buffy Season 7
Episode 1 - The Showdown
Created by Jossie Whedon
Scene 1
Fred and Gunn are rushing to THE SEASIDE. They meet Wesley.
Fred: WESLEY!!
Wesley: Fred, Gunn.
Gunn: I thought you said you didn't want to have anything to do with us anymore?
Wesley: I changed my mind, I want to help you.
Gunn: Man, if Angel sees you, he'll kill you!
Wesley: I'll risk it.
They find very vague clues that lead to the spot Connor dropped Angel into the sea. They pull out the really big box and open it.
Angel: *cough**splutter*
Gunn: Man, what happened?
Angel: Connor... Connor did this... *spots Wesley* WESLEY!!! You took my son!! I'll kill you! *flails*
Wesley: Angel, I have come to warn you. Kill me if you must, but I know where Connor is going and I can help you.
Angel: Really?
Wesley: Yes. Forgive me?
Angel: Sure! *shakes hands*
(pause)
Angel: Where's Cordy?
Scene 2
Cordelia is in a HIGHER PLANE.
Cordy: Whoa.
Skip: Here we are.
Cordy: This is way cool!!
The Powers that Be: Is this the girl?
Skip: Yes. *bows*
Cordy: Powers? Is that you?
TPTB: Yes, Cordelia.
Cordy: Wow.
Scene 3
Connor and Justine are still on THE BOAT.
Justine: So, what do you want to do now?
Connor: Have you heard of Buffy Summers?
Justine: Noooo...
Connor: Well I have. I want to see this chick Angelus managed to fall in love with.
Justine: Will there be killing and violence?
Connor: Most definitely.
Justine: I'm in.
Scene 4
It is THE MAGIC SHOP, SUNNYDALE, right after the end of season 6. Willow has really messed it up. Justine and Connor enter but there's no one there.
Connor: Hello?
Justine: I don't think there's anyone here, sweetie.
Connor: Wow, this place is a dump.
Justine: Big party?
Anya: The biggest.
Anya has come up from the basement where she was looking after Giles, who is not, in fact, dead.
Anya: I'm sorry, but we're closed right now. Please come back when the world hasn't just been saved.
Connor: It has?
Justine: It has?
Anya: Whoops.
Giles has staggered up from the basement.
Giles: Can I help you?
Anya: GILES! You should be resting!
Giles: No, I'm fine.
Anya: Pfft.
Connor: I'm looking for Buffy Summers.
Giles: Ah. Well, she'll be here in a minute, I expect. Are you an old friend of hers?
Connor: A friend of a friend. *squee!!!*
Giles is suspicious.
Giles: Oh. Which particular friend would that be?
Buffy, Dawn, Xander and Willow enter. Xander and Buffy are supporting Willow. Buffy immediately goes to Giles.
Anya: Oh! Are you ok!
Willow: I'm fine, thank-
Anya embraces Xander.
Anya: It's too bad I'm a demon and it's too late for us to get married again. I find you very sexy right now.
Xander: Um... cool.
Connor: *angry* A demon?
Anya: *thinking he's normal* Uh... metaphorically speaking?
Connor: Ha. Are there no REAL people I can talk to?
Anya: Excuse me?
Buffy: Giles, who is this?
Giles: He says he's here to see you, in fact.
Buffy: Well, that's awful nice of you, but we just happen to have survived an apocalypse and I've spent the last hour or so fighting off evil earth monsters in an open tomb, so I'm really not in the mood for talk. OR fighting.
Connor: Oh, I don't want to fight.
Justine: Much.
Connor: Hush.
Justine: What?
Connor: You want to help? Then be quiet.
Justine is offended.
Justine: Fine, gees.
Buffy: Look, do I at least get your name before you attempt to kill me?
Connor: My name is Connor...
Buffy: Nice name.
Connor: Connor Angel.
Buffy: *confused* huh?
Everyone: ...
Connor: Tell me, Buffy Summers, why did you fall in love with Angelus?
Buffy: WHAT?
Connor: I'm just interested. I mean, there must have been something vaguely attractive about him for you to make him happy enough to lose his soul.
Justine: How do you KNOW this stuff?
Connor: I've been reading.
Buffy: Look, I don't know who or what you are, pal..
Connor: *pulls out gun* You want some advice? Don't move.
Wesley: Do YOU want some advice?
Everyone turns around to see Wesley standing in the doorway with a loaded crossbow.
Wesley: Take your own advice.
Ba-Bum!! *blackout*
*ad break*
*blackin*
Scene 5
THE MAGIC SHOP, AGAIN.
Wesley is still standing in the doorway with his crossbow. Connor stands very still.
Giles: Wesley?
Wesley: Drop the gun, Connor.
Connor: Nuh-uh.
Wesley: Connor, you don’t know what you’re doing. This is an innocent human being.
Connor: She loved Angelus. She is corrupted.
Wesley: She’s a slayer. She kills vampires. You hate vampires, right?
Connor: Who ARE you?
Wesley: A friend of a friend.
Connor: I have no friends.
Justine: Hey, what am I, burnt cabbage?
Wesley: I can be your friend, Connor.
Wesley moves forward into the shop, revealing Gunn and Fred behind him, also armed with crossbows. To Connor, this immediately puts Wesley in the mortal enemy category.
Buffy: Wesley, what’s going on here? Dawn, get behind me.
Dawn is annoyed.
Connor: You are one of HIS!
Fred: Connor, please listen to him.
Gunn: Yeah, you’re so good at that.
Wesley: You have every reason to hate me, Connor. I took you away from your father and allowed you to be taken from me in turn. If it were not for me, you might still be three weeks old.
Connor: *realises* I would not have gone to Quortoth.
Wesley: No.
Connor: Then how can you possibly think I would be your friend?
Wesley: I brought you a present.
ANGEL BURSTS THROUGH THE WINDOW. Connor shoots him, about five times.
Angel: OW!
Connor: What? How?
Angel: You forget I have certain resources you don’t have, Connor.
Connor: Oh yeah? Like what?
Angel: Friends!
Connor is MAD. He throws away the useless gun and starts fighting Angel.
Buffy: ANGEL? What’s HAPPENING? What is he?
Angel: *starting to fight Connor* He’s a human!
Buffy: With superpowers?!?!
Angel: Not really!
Gunn: He’s got damn good hearing, though.
Fred: Let it go, Charles.
Angel pins Connor to the wall - again.
Angel: What do you WANT, Connor?
Connor: Revenge.
Angel: For what?
Connor: You killed my father!
Pause. Everyone is worried. Angel, Cordy and Groo were the only ones who were told the truth after Angel met Holtz.
Buffy: WHAT?
Wesley: WHAT?
Gunn: You didn’t, did you?
Fred: He did….
Angel: No I didn’t!!
Connor: You killed him! *pushes Angel away*
Angel: Connor - I never…!
Justine: Don’t listen to him, Connor… *tosses him a stake*
Angel: Whoa, watch where you’re putting that!
Buffy has regained her senses and shifted into Slayer Mode. Xander, Willow, Anya, Dawn and Giles are staying out of the way, watching the sparks fly.
Buffy: Who is this kid?
Angel: Well… it’s a really long story.
Fred: Hi! You must be Buffy. I’m Fred. You don’t know me, but I’ve been wanting to meet you for simply ages…
Buffy: Er, hi…
Connor: Wow, you really do get around a lot of women, don’t you? Buffy, Fred, my mother…
Buffy: You made out with his mother? No wonder he wants to kill you.
(pause)
Buffy: Wait…
Angel: Connor, your mother loved you very much, and I know she wouldn’t want to see you the way you are right now…
Connor: *disgusted* my mother was a vampire!
Angel: Yeah, but she loved you, just like I do. You only get so many chances with love, Connor. Don’t throw it all away.
Justine: Don’t listen, Connor! I love you!
Connor: *to Angel* Where do you GET all this crap?
Angel: Watch your language, young man! *blocks a punch*
Buffy: (to Fred) Wait, let me get this straight. That’s Angel’s SON?
Fred: Um..
Buffy: TO WHOM?? *looks ready to kill*
Gunn: I think it would be better if you stayed out of this.
Buffy: That’s his SON and I should stay out of it?
Wesley: *squeezes past the fighting couple* Hello, Buffy. Giles, Dawn, Xander… Willow?
Willow doesn’t look very well.
Willow: Hi Wesley.
Wesley: And… Anya, right?
Anya: Yes. Well remembered.
Wesley: Thank you.
Giles: Wesley, what’s going on?
Wesley: Connor is Angel’s son by Darla,
Buffy: *splutter*
Wesley: But he was... *cough* abducted. A man named Holtz looked after him for fifteen years in a demon dimension. It’s that man that Connor thinks of as his father. *turns to Gunn and Fred* Right?
Gunn: For a guy who hasn’t left his apartment in a week, you know a lot.
Wesley: *thinking the one time he DID leave his apartment, and what happened afterwards* Yeah, well… doesn’t take much to figure out… *Lilah… Lilah… Lilah…*
Willow: Could this GET anymore complicated?
Buffy: DARLA? But she’s…
Gunn: Dead?
Buffy: I was going to say a vampire, but yes, now you mention it…
Fred: *fast* Wolfram and Hart brought her back to life as a human and she had syphilis and was going to die in three months or so anyway and then Drusilla made her a vampire again and she and Angel, you know, and then she had to stake herself so that the baby would live.
Buffy: I understood none of that.
Fred: *shrug*
Meanwhile, Connor and Angel are still fighting.
Connor: You killed my father!!
Angel: No I didn’t!
Connor: You killed my father!!
Angel: No I didn’t!
Connor: You killed my father!!
Angel: No I didn’t!
Connor: You killed my father!!
Angel: No I didn’t!
Connor: You killed my father!!
Angel: No I didn’t!
Connor: You killed my father!!
Angel: No I didn’t!
Connor: You killed my father!!
Angel: No I didn’t!
This continues for some time. Finally Connor, who is after all, human, has to stop to breathe. Angel doesn’t have to breathe but he does spend some time removing the five bullets from his chest.
Gunn: Man, that is disgusting.
Buffy: You want some help?
Angel: No thanks, I do this all the time.
Gunn: People in LA tend to think guns will kill just anything.
Xander: Not such a sound theory?
Fred: Not usually.
Angel: Hi Dawn.
Dawn: Hi, Angel.
(Small pause for readers to ponder what Angel and Dawn must have known of each other after the Monks inserted Dawn into everyone’s memories in Season 5)
Angel: Xander, Willow. How’ve you been?
Xander: Good.
Willow: Evil.
Angel: Gotcha.
Connor: Ok - if you didn’t kill my father, who do you think did? Huh?
Angel: Connor, I swear, I did not kill your - Holtz.
Connor: He was bitten!
Angel: He was?
Connor: Well, yeah!
Angel: Well it must have been a… different Vampire…
Gunn: A vampire, bite THAT? Did you SEE that man? Imagine sinking your teeth into… yuck. You’d have to have a REAL grudge against him to want to bite him. Your case is looking real shaky, Angel. *moves crossbow to point at Angel*
Angel: Thanks a lot, Gunn.
Gunn: Dude, I saw you after Connor disappeared. You would have ripped the POPE apart to get him back.
Connor: Really? *looks interested*
Angel: *looks hopeful*
Connor: *realises he hates his father* Justine! You saw him kill my father, right?
Justine: Um… well… ah… yes.
Angel: I’ve been set up.
Wesley: Perhaps someone merely created the marks on his neck to make Connor THINK that Angel had killed him.
Justine: What? Why would anyone, er, do that?
Wesley: You slit my throat. I’m not talking to you.
Justine: Oh, you child.
Angel: Wesley has a point, Connor. Your father told me he was going to leave and I left him in peace - I swear it!
Connor: But then… who…?
All eyes turn to Justine.
Connor: You know, I wondered what that blood-covered metal rod was doing in your hand earlier.
Justine: *bursts into tears* Oh, Steven! I didn’t want to do it - I loved your father!
Gunn: Yuck.
Justine: I loved him as a father, you imbecile. I told him I would do anything for him, and then he asked me to… to…
Wesley: To stick a sharp, thin object in his neck a couple of times?
Justine: Well, maybe not THAT specific…
Angel: Oh, so THAT you did of your own free will.
Justine: NO! Yes… I don’t know!!
Connor: You killed my father!!
Gunn: Boy, was there Star Wars in Quortoth?
Everyone: *eyebrow*
Gunn: What?
Justine runs out of the door and into the street. Connor starts to run after her.
Angel: Leave it, son.
Connor: She killed my father!
Angel: Yeah… but I wouldn’t worry about it. She’ll probably be back later in the Season as a plot contrivance.
Connor: Oh. So… you really didn’t do anything, then?
Angel: Nope.
Connor: So I dropped you off a boat in a metal box to live in eternal marinal torment for nothing?
Angel: Yep.
Connor. Oh. Oops.
Buffy: You did what?
Connor: Can I help you?
Angel: Buffy, this is my son, Connor. Connor, this is Buffy Summers, her sister Dawn, her Watcher Giles, and her friends Xander, Willow and… *spots Anya for the first time* Hey, aren’t you that ex-Demon who brought a Vampire Willow here from another reality?
Anya: Yes. Except I’m not an ‘Ex’ anymore.
Dawn: Xander left her at the altar.
Wesley: You were going to marry a demon?
Xander: She wasn’t a demon THEN.
Wesley: Oooh. Vengeance. I get it.
(pause)
Angel: So, are we all reacquainted?
Everyone else: Yes.
Angel: Back to LA, then?
Angel Investigations: Yep.
Scoobies: *nod*
Angel: Right. Bye, then!
Buffy: It was nice to meet you, Connor. *fume-Darla?-fume*
Connor: You too! Next time I won’t try to kill you.
Scoobies: Thanks!
Angel Investigations + the reinstated Wesley and Connor leave the magic shop.
Angel:
So, Connor - I guess you’ll want an allowance now?
Back inside the Magic Shop:
Willow: I wonder why Cordelia didn’t come?
There is a burst of white light and Cordy appears in some sort of angel outfit.
Xander: *pant*
Cordy: Crap! What did I miss?
Buffy: *pointing* they went that way. Where’d you come from?
Cordy: Wha? Oh, not long ago the Powers made me half demon and I grew so powerful that they made me a higher being, but then I got sick of it and I missed my friends so I gave up my powers and came back. That way?
Xander: Yeah……
Cordy: Ok, thanks!
Exit Cordy.
(pause)
Dawn: Anyone fancy moving to LA?
Giles: Right after I produce the money to pay for that window Angel smashed. And I think Willow and I will need to take a little trip to England.
Willow: Darn.
THE END
Yes, everyone can call me Jossie from now on. My father Joss is a good creater, yet lacked in imagination when he named me. And if anyone's free tomorrow night, we're having David Boreanez over for dinner.
[/Jossie]
You have no idea how much fun me and Bronwyn had with that concept.
Anyway.
I really do not like Alice's friend Olivia. She has a bad influence on my sister. As soon as they got home they spent hours on MY computer talking on MSN with Oliva's BOYFRIENDS. And Alice has been a total arse to me all evening. On the bus she told me to go and sit down the front as though I had absolutely no right being in the back. And Olivia looks superior ALL THE TIME. I swear Alice tells all her friends that I'm some kind of a retard.
I don't appreciate it.
My room is a tip and I'm going to sleep FOREVER. Don't wake me unless you have season 2 and/or 4 of Angel. *sigh*
ANGEL Season 4 / Buffy Season 7
Episode 1 - The Showdown
Created by Jossie Whedon
Scene 1
Fred and Gunn are rushing to THE SEASIDE. They meet Wesley.
Fred: WESLEY!!
Wesley: Fred, Gunn.
Gunn: I thought you said you didn't want to have anything to do with us anymore?
Wesley: I changed my mind, I want to help you.
Gunn: Man, if Angel sees you, he'll kill you!
Wesley: I'll risk it.
They find very vague clues that lead to the spot Connor dropped Angel into the sea. They pull out the really big box and open it.
Angel: *cough**splutter*
Gunn: Man, what happened?
Angel: Connor... Connor did this... *spots Wesley* WESLEY!!! You took my son!! I'll kill you! *flails*
Wesley: Angel, I have come to warn you. Kill me if you must, but I know where Connor is going and I can help you.
Angel: Really?
Wesley: Yes. Forgive me?
Angel: Sure! *shakes hands*
(pause)
Angel: Where's Cordy?
Scene 2
Cordelia is in a HIGHER PLANE.
Cordy: Whoa.
Skip: Here we are.
Cordy: This is way cool!!
The Powers that Be: Is this the girl?
Skip: Yes. *bows*
Cordy: Powers? Is that you?
TPTB: Yes, Cordelia.
Cordy: Wow.
Scene 3
Connor and Justine are still on THE BOAT.
Justine: So, what do you want to do now?
Connor: Have you heard of Buffy Summers?
Justine: Noooo...
Connor: Well I have. I want to see this chick Angelus managed to fall in love with.
Justine: Will there be killing and violence?
Connor: Most definitely.
Justine: I'm in.
Scene 4
It is THE MAGIC SHOP, SUNNYDALE, right after the end of season 6. Willow has really messed it up. Justine and Connor enter but there's no one there.
Connor: Hello?
Justine: I don't think there's anyone here, sweetie.
Connor: Wow, this place is a dump.
Justine: Big party?
Anya: The biggest.
Anya has come up from the basement where she was looking after Giles, who is not, in fact, dead.
Anya: I'm sorry, but we're closed right now. Please come back when the world hasn't just been saved.
Connor: It has?
Justine: It has?
Anya: Whoops.
Giles has staggered up from the basement.
Giles: Can I help you?
Anya: GILES! You should be resting!
Giles: No, I'm fine.
Anya: Pfft.
Connor: I'm looking for Buffy Summers.
Giles: Ah. Well, she'll be here in a minute, I expect. Are you an old friend of hers?
Connor: A friend of a friend. *squee!!!*
Giles is suspicious.
Giles: Oh. Which particular friend would that be?
Buffy, Dawn, Xander and Willow enter. Xander and Buffy are supporting Willow. Buffy immediately goes to Giles.
Anya: Oh! Are you ok!
Willow: I'm fine, thank-
Anya embraces Xander.
Anya: It's too bad I'm a demon and it's too late for us to get married again. I find you very sexy right now.
Xander: Um... cool.
Connor: *angry* A demon?
Anya: *thinking he's normal* Uh... metaphorically speaking?
Connor: Ha. Are there no REAL people I can talk to?
Anya: Excuse me?
Buffy: Giles, who is this?
Giles: He says he's here to see you, in fact.
Buffy: Well, that's awful nice of you, but we just happen to have survived an apocalypse and I've spent the last hour or so fighting off evil earth monsters in an open tomb, so I'm really not in the mood for talk. OR fighting.
Connor: Oh, I don't want to fight.
Justine: Much.
Connor: Hush.
Justine: What?
Connor: You want to help? Then be quiet.
Justine is offended.
Justine: Fine, gees.
Buffy: Look, do I at least get your name before you attempt to kill me?
Connor: My name is Connor...
Buffy: Nice name.
Connor: Connor Angel.
Buffy: *confused* huh?
Everyone: ...
Connor: Tell me, Buffy Summers, why did you fall in love with Angelus?
Buffy: WHAT?
Connor: I'm just interested. I mean, there must have been something vaguely attractive about him for you to make him happy enough to lose his soul.
Justine: How do you KNOW this stuff?
Connor: I've been reading.
Buffy: Look, I don't know who or what you are, pal..
Connor: *pulls out gun* You want some advice? Don't move.
Wesley: Do YOU want some advice?
Everyone turns around to see Wesley standing in the doorway with a loaded crossbow.
Wesley: Take your own advice.
Ba-Bum!! *blackout*
*ad break*
*blackin*
Scene 5
THE MAGIC SHOP, AGAIN.
Wesley is still standing in the doorway with his crossbow. Connor stands very still.
Giles: Wesley?
Wesley: Drop the gun, Connor.
Connor: Nuh-uh.
Wesley: Connor, you don’t know what you’re doing. This is an innocent human being.
Connor: She loved Angelus. She is corrupted.
Wesley: She’s a slayer. She kills vampires. You hate vampires, right?
Connor: Who ARE you?
Wesley: A friend of a friend.
Connor: I have no friends.
Justine: Hey, what am I, burnt cabbage?
Wesley: I can be your friend, Connor.
Wesley moves forward into the shop, revealing Gunn and Fred behind him, also armed with crossbows. To Connor, this immediately puts Wesley in the mortal enemy category.
Buffy: Wesley, what’s going on here? Dawn, get behind me.
Dawn is annoyed.
Connor: You are one of HIS!
Fred: Connor, please listen to him.
Gunn: Yeah, you’re so good at that.
Wesley: You have every reason to hate me, Connor. I took you away from your father and allowed you to be taken from me in turn. If it were not for me, you might still be three weeks old.
Connor: *realises* I would not have gone to Quortoth.
Wesley: No.
Connor: Then how can you possibly think I would be your friend?
Wesley: I brought you a present.
ANGEL BURSTS THROUGH THE WINDOW. Connor shoots him, about five times.
Angel: OW!
Connor: What? How?
Angel: You forget I have certain resources you don’t have, Connor.
Connor: Oh yeah? Like what?
Angel: Friends!
Connor is MAD. He throws away the useless gun and starts fighting Angel.
Buffy: ANGEL? What’s HAPPENING? What is he?
Angel: *starting to fight Connor* He’s a human!
Buffy: With superpowers?!?!
Angel: Not really!
Gunn: He’s got damn good hearing, though.
Fred: Let it go, Charles.
Angel pins Connor to the wall - again.
Angel: What do you WANT, Connor?
Connor: Revenge.
Angel: For what?
Connor: You killed my father!
Pause. Everyone is worried. Angel, Cordy and Groo were the only ones who were told the truth after Angel met Holtz.
Buffy: WHAT?
Wesley: WHAT?
Gunn: You didn’t, did you?
Fred: He did….
Angel: No I didn’t!!
Connor: You killed him! *pushes Angel away*
Angel: Connor - I never…!
Justine: Don’t listen to him, Connor… *tosses him a stake*
Angel: Whoa, watch where you’re putting that!
Buffy has regained her senses and shifted into Slayer Mode. Xander, Willow, Anya, Dawn and Giles are staying out of the way, watching the sparks fly.
Buffy: Who is this kid?
Angel: Well… it’s a really long story.
Fred: Hi! You must be Buffy. I’m Fred. You don’t know me, but I’ve been wanting to meet you for simply ages…
Buffy: Er, hi…
Connor: Wow, you really do get around a lot of women, don’t you? Buffy, Fred, my mother…
Buffy: You made out with his mother? No wonder he wants to kill you.
(pause)
Buffy: Wait…
Angel: Connor, your mother loved you very much, and I know she wouldn’t want to see you the way you are right now…
Connor: *disgusted* my mother was a vampire!
Angel: Yeah, but she loved you, just like I do. You only get so many chances with love, Connor. Don’t throw it all away.
Justine: Don’t listen, Connor! I love you!
Connor: *to Angel* Where do you GET all this crap?
Angel: Watch your language, young man! *blocks a punch*
Buffy: (to Fred) Wait, let me get this straight. That’s Angel’s SON?
Fred: Um..
Buffy: TO WHOM?? *looks ready to kill*
Gunn: I think it would be better if you stayed out of this.
Buffy: That’s his SON and I should stay out of it?
Wesley: *squeezes past the fighting couple* Hello, Buffy. Giles, Dawn, Xander… Willow?
Willow doesn’t look very well.
Willow: Hi Wesley.
Wesley: And… Anya, right?
Anya: Yes. Well remembered.
Wesley: Thank you.
Giles: Wesley, what’s going on?
Wesley: Connor is Angel’s son by Darla,
Buffy: *splutter*
Wesley: But he was... *cough* abducted. A man named Holtz looked after him for fifteen years in a demon dimension. It’s that man that Connor thinks of as his father. *turns to Gunn and Fred* Right?
Gunn: For a guy who hasn’t left his apartment in a week, you know a lot.
Wesley: *thinking the one time he DID leave his apartment, and what happened afterwards* Yeah, well… doesn’t take much to figure out… *Lilah… Lilah… Lilah…*
Willow: Could this GET anymore complicated?
Buffy: DARLA? But she’s…
Gunn: Dead?
Buffy: I was going to say a vampire, but yes, now you mention it…
Fred: *fast* Wolfram and Hart brought her back to life as a human and she had syphilis and was going to die in three months or so anyway and then Drusilla made her a vampire again and she and Angel, you know, and then she had to stake herself so that the baby would live.
Buffy: I understood none of that.
Fred: *shrug*
Meanwhile, Connor and Angel are still fighting.
Connor: You killed my father!!
Angel: No I didn’t!
Connor: You killed my father!!
Angel: No I didn’t!
Connor: You killed my father!!
Angel: No I didn’t!
Connor: You killed my father!!
Angel: No I didn’t!
Connor: You killed my father!!
Angel: No I didn’t!
Connor: You killed my father!!
Angel: No I didn’t!
Connor: You killed my father!!
Angel: No I didn’t!
This continues for some time. Finally Connor, who is after all, human, has to stop to breathe. Angel doesn’t have to breathe but he does spend some time removing the five bullets from his chest.
Gunn: Man, that is disgusting.
Buffy: You want some help?
Angel: No thanks, I do this all the time.
Gunn: People in LA tend to think guns will kill just anything.
Xander: Not such a sound theory?
Fred: Not usually.
Angel: Hi Dawn.
Dawn: Hi, Angel.
(Small pause for readers to ponder what Angel and Dawn must have known of each other after the Monks inserted Dawn into everyone’s memories in Season 5)
Angel: Xander, Willow. How’ve you been?
Xander: Good.
Willow: Evil.
Angel: Gotcha.
Connor: Ok - if you didn’t kill my father, who do you think did? Huh?
Angel: Connor, I swear, I did not kill your - Holtz.
Connor: He was bitten!
Angel: He was?
Connor: Well, yeah!
Angel: Well it must have been a… different Vampire…
Gunn: A vampire, bite THAT? Did you SEE that man? Imagine sinking your teeth into… yuck. You’d have to have a REAL grudge against him to want to bite him. Your case is looking real shaky, Angel. *moves crossbow to point at Angel*
Angel: Thanks a lot, Gunn.
Gunn: Dude, I saw you after Connor disappeared. You would have ripped the POPE apart to get him back.
Connor: Really? *looks interested*
Angel: *looks hopeful*
Connor: *realises he hates his father* Justine! You saw him kill my father, right?
Justine: Um… well… ah… yes.
Angel: I’ve been set up.
Wesley: Perhaps someone merely created the marks on his neck to make Connor THINK that Angel had killed him.
Justine: What? Why would anyone, er, do that?
Wesley: You slit my throat. I’m not talking to you.
Justine: Oh, you child.
Angel: Wesley has a point, Connor. Your father told me he was going to leave and I left him in peace - I swear it!
Connor: But then… who…?
All eyes turn to Justine.
Connor: You know, I wondered what that blood-covered metal rod was doing in your hand earlier.
Justine: *bursts into tears* Oh, Steven! I didn’t want to do it - I loved your father!
Gunn: Yuck.
Justine: I loved him as a father, you imbecile. I told him I would do anything for him, and then he asked me to… to…
Wesley: To stick a sharp, thin object in his neck a couple of times?
Justine: Well, maybe not THAT specific…
Angel: Oh, so THAT you did of your own free will.
Justine: NO! Yes… I don’t know!!
Connor: You killed my father!!
Gunn: Boy, was there Star Wars in Quortoth?
Everyone: *eyebrow*
Gunn: What?
Justine runs out of the door and into the street. Connor starts to run after her.
Angel: Leave it, son.
Connor: She killed my father!
Angel: Yeah… but I wouldn’t worry about it. She’ll probably be back later in the Season as a plot contrivance.
Connor: Oh. So… you really didn’t do anything, then?
Angel: Nope.
Connor: So I dropped you off a boat in a metal box to live in eternal marinal torment for nothing?
Angel: Yep.
Connor. Oh. Oops.
Buffy: You did what?
Connor: Can I help you?
Angel: Buffy, this is my son, Connor. Connor, this is Buffy Summers, her sister Dawn, her Watcher Giles, and her friends Xander, Willow and… *spots Anya for the first time* Hey, aren’t you that ex-Demon who brought a Vampire Willow here from another reality?
Anya: Yes. Except I’m not an ‘Ex’ anymore.
Dawn: Xander left her at the altar.
Wesley: You were going to marry a demon?
Xander: She wasn’t a demon THEN.
Wesley: Oooh. Vengeance. I get it.
(pause)
Angel: So, are we all reacquainted?
Everyone else: Yes.
Angel: Back to LA, then?
Angel Investigations: Yep.
Scoobies: *nod*
Angel: Right. Bye, then!
Buffy: It was nice to meet you, Connor. *fume-Darla?-fume*
Connor: You too! Next time I won’t try to kill you.
Scoobies: Thanks!
Angel Investigations + the reinstated Wesley and Connor leave the magic shop.
Angel:
So, Connor - I guess you’ll want an allowance now?
Back inside the Magic Shop:
Willow: I wonder why Cordelia didn’t come?
There is a burst of white light and Cordy appears in some sort of angel outfit.
Xander: *pant*
Cordy: Crap! What did I miss?
Buffy: *pointing* they went that way. Where’d you come from?
Cordy: Wha? Oh, not long ago the Powers made me half demon and I grew so powerful that they made me a higher being, but then I got sick of it and I missed my friends so I gave up my powers and came back. That way?
Xander: Yeah……
Cordy: Ok, thanks!
Exit Cordy.
(pause)
Dawn: Anyone fancy moving to LA?
Giles: Right after I produce the money to pay for that window Angel smashed. And I think Willow and I will need to take a little trip to England.
Willow: Darn.
THE END
Yes, everyone can call me Jossie from now on. My father Joss is a good creater, yet lacked in imagination when he named me. And if anyone's free tomorrow night, we're having David Boreanez over for dinner.
[/Jossie]
You have no idea how much fun me and Bronwyn had with that concept.
Anyway.
I really do not like Alice's friend Olivia. She has a bad influence on my sister. As soon as they got home they spent hours on MY computer talking on MSN with Oliva's BOYFRIENDS. And Alice has been a total arse to me all evening. On the bus she told me to go and sit down the front as though I had absolutely no right being in the back. And Olivia looks superior ALL THE TIME. I swear Alice tells all her friends that I'm some kind of a retard.
I don't appreciate it.
My room is a tip and I'm going to sleep FOREVER. Don't wake me unless you have season 2 and/or 4 of Angel. *sigh*