"I'm letting go of all my lonely yesterdays, forgiving myself for all the mistakes I've made."
Sometimes people think I'm sort of flighty, but I was wondering to myself today: don't you think everyone is?
I mean, moods change so quickly. There are some things that I hang on to that I desperately wish I could be flighty about, and some things that I move on from so fast and it takes me a while to realize what was really going on. I don't think I'm the only one who does that.
Maybe I'm wrong, who knows? I don't mind being really emotional though. I don't think it's something I always have loads of control over, so I may as well accept it. Or embrace it.
Plus my excess of emotion always leads to livejournal entries, so there's atleast one thing that it all produces. Whenever I'm being bipolar, I turn to my trusty lj. Extreme highs and lows, that's what you all experience when you read my entries.
Anyway, back to my point (which I have yet to actually establish).
It's stange how much people affect you. The moods of the people around you, their actions. It can sort of make or break your own mood.
Maybe that's really terrible and unwise that I allow people to impact me that much, but what's done is done I suppose.
I actually don't think I have a point, I'm just rambling.
But things are okay now. Much more than okay, actually.
And I feel like it's been quite a while since I've actually believed that to be true.
But I've moved on from all of the things I've lost and everything that has changed permanently.
I'm not going to wait for things to change back to how they were, I'm not going to hold on to what my life used to be. Because it isn't that anymore. Everything has changed. And I'm done making that a bad thing.
I can't hold on to everything that has kept me from moving on and experiencing this new chapter of my life the way I should. Worrying about things that are done and over with is going to get me nowhere. Hoping to restore relationships that have simply slipped away is not going to happen, atleast not right now, so I can't let it stress me out and bring me down.
I don't where this surge of confidence has come from, but I've been so in touch with my spirituality lately and I feel like it has opened my eyes to everything I've been closing out.
And I couldn't be happier. <3
"There's a new wind blowing like I've never known.
I'm breathing deeper then I've ever done.
And it sure feels good to finally feel the way I do...
I used to run in circles going nowhere fast.
I'd take one step forward end up two steps back.
Couldn't walk a straight line, even if I wanted to.
I dont wanna take this life for granted like I used to do."
-- Keith Urban --