(no subject)
It's been two years. And rather than mention it to anyone all day, I've tried to avoid talking about it or thinking about it too much. But Suzy called me and mentioned it because she remembered. Just talking to her about it reminded me of when it happened, and when she drove down and sat with all of us all night, just a few hours after we found out what had happened. For some reason, it made me all panic-y.
I just miss him. And I'm sick of missing him. I'm sick of the persistant feeling of knowing his gone and not coming back.
I wish I could be a bit more articulate so I didn't sound like a rambling idiot.
This is the eulogy John's mom wrote and gave to Jeanine.
This eulogy was prepared by Jack, Dianne, Kara, and Krista for our dearest John.
To adequately convey our deepest feelings and memories of John is impossible. To express the depth of our hurt and sorrow in losing John too soon is impossible. Yet for John to hear and for those of you who unfortunately did not know him personally, here is a glimpse of our dearest John-
The newspaper articles have well credited his many accomplishments. At Walpole High School John held countless positions of leadership. He was an athlete, and received several awards and scholarships for outstanding contributions in school leadership and service to school and community. At Providence College he participated in the community service project, Urban Action, and enjoyed his recent work at the Providence Southside Community Farm. Of his farm work, he spoke of the pleasure of finding trees and gardens in the middle of a poor and distressed section of Providence. He enjoyed pounding the gym floors at Providence College, playing pick up basketball and intramural team ball with his many friends. He had recently decided to major in sociology with a business minor because he liked understanding how society works and doesn’t work. He seemed destined for a career in human service.
John was a “yellow post-it note bandit”. He organized each day, his thoughts, his obligations on these little pieces of paper which he would leave everywhere- in books, pockets, desks, walls, bureaus, and mirrors. To catch a glimpse of these, of course, would be a window on John’s day. School work and responsibilities, names, things to tell us, “talk to Mom” and others. On John’s bureau now is a “post it note Christmas list”- five items- two cds, Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings video game, and boxer shorts. More impressively there are other post it notes still hanging that say “Credo” and “Credo: Mind Body and Soul.”
Adorning the rim of the bureau mirror in John’s room are ticket stubs. John loved his music, jam bands and jazz: The Slip, Moe, Widespread Panic, String Cheese Incident, Phish, Addison Groove Project, and always, the Beatles. If most of you have heard of the group, if they were main stream, they were NOT one of John’s bands. He traveled far and wide to Providence, Boston, area colleges, the Berkshires, seeking out his music. He copied lyrics for us, burned cd’s for each of us, hoping we would HEAR what he heard. In addition to the concert tickets, John saved every game tickets, every movie stub, and every piece of vacation memorabilia. He placed them in a keepsake box to remind him of our good times as a family.
John remembered everything. To our amazement and delight, when requested, he could recite verbatim and perform spontaneously movie lines, book passages, and song lyrics from Puck in a Midsummer Night’s Dream, the Newsies, to Peter Pan to every memorable song stanza. In the last couple of years John’s hair has been a work in progress-from bush to buzz and back again. Although lately only a buzz he did himself would do, and Abercrombie names were turned inside out- no phony advertising John would say.
The dearest part of John was John himself: kind, sensitive, and sweet beyond words. From his toddler days to age twelve, he got up alone every morning with his early rising mom and followed her to the back door to hug and kiss her, never wanting her to leave. And John has such respect for his dad, wanting his happiness in a new business, and loving his always boyish sense of humor and pranks. They had a bond too few men share; they hugged and kissed lovingly.
His sisters meant the world to him: the only paper and numbers in John’s wallet was Kara’s new business card. He told us earlier how proud he was of her and how deserving she was of her new position- how he wanted to be like her. The only pictures in John’s wallet were Kara, Krista, McTavish our dog, Cousin Danny White, and a best friend Jimmy Kelly.
John shared his love of fantasy authors with his sisters; they read and reread the Harry Potter series. Because of John’s love of Tolkien and the Lord of the Rings, Krista is plowing through book two of the trilogy. The two would call and email each other sharing thoughts about characters and settings. And John, of course, has read and reread all of Tolkien’s works. He would want you all to see the movie, but he would tell you only the words of the book are magic.
John always wanted to please us, never wanted us to stress or worry; he would protect us, shelter us, and try to calm our fears. We are sure he wants this still for his family and friends. John was the epitome of a “good son” and grandson. His tender attention to his grandma Irene was always apparent. We are blessed as a family that we have, each of us, always parted with “I love you”.
Every day for each of our children we ask a blessing: “Jesus, Mary, and Joseph watch over you today; sweet heart of Mary, be your guardian and protector.” We have no regrets in our tragedy, nothing was left unsaid. Every day of his life John knew that each of us loved him and would do anything for him. His daily emails always added- “send my love to all, love you always, peace and love”. When we would ask John how HE was, he would reply, but always with a quick “How are YOU? What’s going on with YOU GUYS?”
John was thoughtful, quiet, and private, always unassuming. He had an easy going disposition, a beautiful smile, and he was very funny. His sense of humor was contagious: a kidder, a charmer. His warmth and affection made his presence endearing. John would engulf us all eagerly in his broad arms and big hands, leaning into us with significant strength in his powerful hugs. He had the ability to embrace many people, including many friends. He was open-minded and had no patience with bias. John judged no one, he accepted everyone as they were.
Kind, loving, imaginative, curious, a sweet and beautiful child, a gift from God for only nineteen years.
This is our humble attempt to describe our dearest John, the joy of our lives, and the air that we breathe. He was to us, a PERFECT gift. We will love him and honor him all the days of our lives. He is for us the sun, the moon, and the stars
I just miss him. And I'm sick of missing him. I'm sick of the persistant feeling of knowing his gone and not coming back.
I wish I could be a bit more articulate so I didn't sound like a rambling idiot.
This is the eulogy John's mom wrote and gave to Jeanine.
This eulogy was prepared by Jack, Dianne, Kara, and Krista for our dearest John.
To adequately convey our deepest feelings and memories of John is impossible. To express the depth of our hurt and sorrow in losing John too soon is impossible. Yet for John to hear and for those of you who unfortunately did not know him personally, here is a glimpse of our dearest John-
The newspaper articles have well credited his many accomplishments. At Walpole High School John held countless positions of leadership. He was an athlete, and received several awards and scholarships for outstanding contributions in school leadership and service to school and community. At Providence College he participated in the community service project, Urban Action, and enjoyed his recent work at the Providence Southside Community Farm. Of his farm work, he spoke of the pleasure of finding trees and gardens in the middle of a poor and distressed section of Providence. He enjoyed pounding the gym floors at Providence College, playing pick up basketball and intramural team ball with his many friends. He had recently decided to major in sociology with a business minor because he liked understanding how society works and doesn’t work. He seemed destined for a career in human service.
John was a “yellow post-it note bandit”. He organized each day, his thoughts, his obligations on these little pieces of paper which he would leave everywhere- in books, pockets, desks, walls, bureaus, and mirrors. To catch a glimpse of these, of course, would be a window on John’s day. School work and responsibilities, names, things to tell us, “talk to Mom” and others. On John’s bureau now is a “post it note Christmas list”- five items- two cds, Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings video game, and boxer shorts. More impressively there are other post it notes still hanging that say “Credo” and “Credo: Mind Body and Soul.”
Adorning the rim of the bureau mirror in John’s room are ticket stubs. John loved his music, jam bands and jazz: The Slip, Moe, Widespread Panic, String Cheese Incident, Phish, Addison Groove Project, and always, the Beatles. If most of you have heard of the group, if they were main stream, they were NOT one of John’s bands. He traveled far and wide to Providence, Boston, area colleges, the Berkshires, seeking out his music. He copied lyrics for us, burned cd’s for each of us, hoping we would HEAR what he heard. In addition to the concert tickets, John saved every game tickets, every movie stub, and every piece of vacation memorabilia. He placed them in a keepsake box to remind him of our good times as a family.
John remembered everything. To our amazement and delight, when requested, he could recite verbatim and perform spontaneously movie lines, book passages, and song lyrics from Puck in a Midsummer Night’s Dream, the Newsies, to Peter Pan to every memorable song stanza. In the last couple of years John’s hair has been a work in progress-from bush to buzz and back again. Although lately only a buzz he did himself would do, and Abercrombie names were turned inside out- no phony advertising John would say.
The dearest part of John was John himself: kind, sensitive, and sweet beyond words. From his toddler days to age twelve, he got up alone every morning with his early rising mom and followed her to the back door to hug and kiss her, never wanting her to leave. And John has such respect for his dad, wanting his happiness in a new business, and loving his always boyish sense of humor and pranks. They had a bond too few men share; they hugged and kissed lovingly.
His sisters meant the world to him: the only paper and numbers in John’s wallet was Kara’s new business card. He told us earlier how proud he was of her and how deserving she was of her new position- how he wanted to be like her. The only pictures in John’s wallet were Kara, Krista, McTavish our dog, Cousin Danny White, and a best friend Jimmy Kelly.
John shared his love of fantasy authors with his sisters; they read and reread the Harry Potter series. Because of John’s love of Tolkien and the Lord of the Rings, Krista is plowing through book two of the trilogy. The two would call and email each other sharing thoughts about characters and settings. And John, of course, has read and reread all of Tolkien’s works. He would want you all to see the movie, but he would tell you only the words of the book are magic.
John always wanted to please us, never wanted us to stress or worry; he would protect us, shelter us, and try to calm our fears. We are sure he wants this still for his family and friends. John was the epitome of a “good son” and grandson. His tender attention to his grandma Irene was always apparent. We are blessed as a family that we have, each of us, always parted with “I love you”.
Every day for each of our children we ask a blessing: “Jesus, Mary, and Joseph watch over you today; sweet heart of Mary, be your guardian and protector.” We have no regrets in our tragedy, nothing was left unsaid. Every day of his life John knew that each of us loved him and would do anything for him. His daily emails always added- “send my love to all, love you always, peace and love”. When we would ask John how HE was, he would reply, but always with a quick “How are YOU? What’s going on with YOU GUYS?”
John was thoughtful, quiet, and private, always unassuming. He had an easy going disposition, a beautiful smile, and he was very funny. His sense of humor was contagious: a kidder, a charmer. His warmth and affection made his presence endearing. John would engulf us all eagerly in his broad arms and big hands, leaning into us with significant strength in his powerful hugs. He had the ability to embrace many people, including many friends. He was open-minded and had no patience with bias. John judged no one, he accepted everyone as they were.
Kind, loving, imaginative, curious, a sweet and beautiful child, a gift from God for only nineteen years.
This is our humble attempt to describe our dearest John, the joy of our lives, and the air that we breathe. He was to us, a PERFECT gift. We will love him and honor him all the days of our lives. He is for us the sun, the moon, and the stars