The Lirry Post Of Our Generation (And The TMH Tour) -- Part One
Once upon a time, during the 2013 Take Me Home tour, there were two boys who were very awful in particular.
We begin our tale sort of at the beginning and what a lovely introduction it is! Them in a nutshell! Liam mid-line, mid-song going into Harry’s unsuspecting side for the tickle, Liam pulling his large hand back just before Harry can quite manage to swipe it while he laughs with his whole face. Hello, happy bunch of playful boys!
(x.)
Christ -- the delicious mutual uncontainable grins on both of their faces! Their tall lanky clumsy giant bodies (pls, their legs). The exchange is so easy, so playful -- this accidental nonsense, this “oh, no! wait! come back!” tone, Harry’s urgent scuttle to retrieve Liam in apology!!!
Our first surprise dick hitting, though it’s no surprise it happens! One of many! Check out Liam’s delighted successful face! Harry’s exaggerated painful moan! Please pay special attention to Liam’s hand on Harry’s shoulder in reassurance or comfort or apology the entire gd time! Harry opened so many new doors in their relationship when he started grabbing Liam’s dick those many moons ago, didn’t he. Turned the key, so the speak.
This affectionate casually intimate business!! Their tall long giant bodies all up against one another, Harry reaching down to comfortably pat Liam’s bum, Liam returning the pat so high on Harry’s neck his hand’s pretty much in Harry’s hair, Liam’s other arm curled around Harry, the way Harry leans into him, their feet nearly interlocked, Liam’s chin on Harry’s shoulder. It’s all so close!!!!!!!!!
(x.)
Liam teasing Harry followed by an apologetic hug: the story of their lives! The languid easy way Harry throws his arm around Liam’s middle is murderous as is Liam ducking his head like he’s grinning into Harry’s neck!! There’s a belatedness to it -- Harry’s arms only reaching Liam as he’s just pulling back that touches on their push-pull dynamic, that “wait, hey, i’m right here, i missed you, come back!” thing. And are you kidding me with those million watt grins!!!
(x.)
Koala hugs (◠‿◠✿) They BOTH go for the koala part! It’s a mutual koala hug! Not just Liam koala-ing Harry, or vice-versa, but they both bend their dumb long legs into one another and mutually cling!! (Other things that noone should particularly pay attention to, ever: their thighs up against one another, Harry’s thigh against Liam’s crotch, Harry’s arms underneath Liam’s jacket, etc.)
(x.)
Harry initiates -- his long arm coming to swoop Liam up and spin him around like he knows Liam’s game for it, even as Harry’s busy singing, like he knows he can trust Liam with it. Liam retaliates (because they are always always playing into one another) with a low key crotch slap, but his hand just sort of curls inside of Harry’s thigh. & Harry responds to this by flinging his entiiiiiiire body onto Liam’s! Like he isn’t great dane sized! (I mean, we all know Liam can catch him, see: japan.) & Liam only laughs, even as he’s sort of unprepared for it, his arm coming up late to grip Harry’s side. The delayed reaction in that 2nd gif, when Liam swings back, is all very much with that look & look away, almost catching each other, push-pull dynamic, that I missed you, wait, come back! that they have. They just can’t seem to manage to catch one another at the right time, even though they both want to.
(x.)
Oh, Christ, them jumping to the same side right at the same time, and Harry's fucking face as his mouth folds in to contain his laugh, Liam's head rearing back from his own laugh and his apologetic/guiding hand on Harry's elbow! Harry fucking stumbles away still laughing!! Again with this almost catching one another!
(x.)
Delighted playful fucking monsters. Tag, you’re it!
Liam pouring water on Harry’s boots. Why? Because Liam is a menace. Really, he genuinely is. Somewhere along the line Liam decided to start giving as good as he was getting. Somewhere along the line Liam started taking preemptive strikes. Though I don’t have any evidence, I’m going to go ahead and say Harry glanced down at what Liam was doing and just shrugged it off, laughed, or pulled a ‘heyyyyyy’ face at him. Either way, Harry probably wasn’t too terribly surprised.
(x.)
Instigator Liam for life! He makes wounds and then he makes amends. Look at this play time!
(x.)
Instigator Liam, not happy with his day unless he’s bothered/pestered/teased/prodded at Harry in some way. Knee-nudging. Sitting on top of him. Really, it’s Harry’s fault for just crouching there doing absolutely nothing.
(x.)
Harry’s face is the worst. Pigtail-pulling playground kiddo stuff: this tradition of Liam faking-pushing Harry to the edge of the stage. Legitimately one of their things!! Other examples:
(x.)
Conclusion drawn: Liam is a monster & Harry doesn’t seem terribly bothered. We already knew this.
Ummm, this Bonnie and Clyde teaming up against a poor unsuspecting camera guy bullshit?? Both of them mutually working as one unit to be menaces to society??? I’m cool, I’m fine, I just have to breathe heavily into a paper bag for a little bit.
(x.x.x.)
More of this explicit push & pull dynamic!!!!!!! The tone here is shifting all over the place -- Liam crouching by Harry’s legs, wrapping his arms around his thigh and knee, Harry putting his giant hand on Liam’s head to pet him -- almost run his fingers through gently, and then in the next instant, Liam’s pulling them to the floor in a stumbling delightful, laughing heap!!!
(x.)
Escalation, as always!!!! Liam doesn’t hesitate to take it further, to play back, regardless of anything like how suggestive the situation appears to be or how detrimental this is to the well-being of others. There’s also something very purposeful and intentional -- specific touching, consciously sliding the mic down Liam’s cheek. Their retained eye contact might be the worst part of all, arguably, though it’s a tough racket: Liam looking at Harry first, so Harry turns to him & then I call an ambulance because I’ve been dead for a while, Harry’s gaze falling right on Liam’s mouth, it would seem, Harry dimpling in not-so-secret delight. I mean:
(x.)
(x.)
MORE HARRY DOING STUFF TO LIAM’S MOUTH. Get me OUT OF HERE with them racing each other to kick that ball away first -- very calmly, very subtly. And then Harry fucking caressing Liam's face and singing to him and Liam looking at him before he looks away, only to have Harry's GIANT hand push Liam's mouth up into a grin & Liam pseudo reluctantly resist & then the last gif ------------ SCREAMING FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.
(x.)
A nice ass slap, very casually thrown in there, because Liam has not bothered Harry enough.
(x.)
Check out this dumb playful touching! The way that they look at each other! Their height -- Liam’s arm around Harry’s mutually tall shoulder! Liam turning into Harry so that they can make idiot faces at one another & Harry can touch him weirdly! PLEASE.
(x.)
This dumb bothersome playful business has very deep, very resonating roots. Oh, how the tables have since turned:
(x.)
“Cheers, Harry.”
(x.)
Just a little light bondage to start the morning off right. (SORRY, HOW LONG DID THIS TAKE. DID HARRY SPIN IN A CIRCLE? DID LIAM WIND HIMSELF AROUND HARRY WITH HIS GIANT MANLY ARMS??? I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS.)
(x.)
They! spent! a! whole! day! dressed! up! as! an! old! couple! Are you kidding me! Is there anything more precious? Please, Harry is in tights, Liam has a cane. Liam calls him Barbara! They think it’s funny to walk as slow as possible in their velcro shoes down the street & then take off and startle people??? This is what they choose to do with one another?? WORST. There are many, many more moments to this murderous collection.
(x.)
[gets on soapbox] [clears throat into megaphone] [screams] LOOK AT THEM. LOOOOOOOOOK. THEY’RE SO 210% WILLING AND HAPPY AND OVERJOYED TO BE PLAYFUL AND STUPID AND MAKE DUMB JOKES TOGETHERRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrr--- [voice trails off into a sob]
(x.)
No. Stop. Liam literally walking until he’s bumped all the way into Harry! Like he’s just waiting for Harry to notice! Playing his mic guitar at the same time, casually and calmly! Harry’s dumb surprised face laugh!!!!! That is so out of proportion! That is off the charts! Everything is unnecessary.
(x.)
Not only is it murderous and agonizing that Liam initiates exchanging masks so that he can specifically wear Harry’s face & Harry can specifically wear his, but it is ESPECIALLY soul destroying that Liam puts Harry’s mask on his crotch and walks around with it:
(x.)
I?????????
(x.)
(x.)
Harry sees the Batman mask, Harry picks up the Batman mask, Harry crosses the length of the stage specifically to give the mask to Liam. It’s pretty clear that Harry: (A) understands things that are relevant to Liam’s interests, (B) knows Liam’s just as willing to put stuff on/be an idiot for the fans as Harry is, (C) thinks of Liam as a superhero (haha, or at least associates him with one).
(x.x.)
PART ONE OF THE STAIRS FLIRT SESSIONS. Watching the whole video is the worst -- they’re on the same page the entire time, flirt central, lots of leaning in close to whisper and laugh in each other’s faces, lots of banter, Liam pushing Harry off only to accept him back with a hug. They don’t quit. Relentless!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(x.) (reversed, please.)
PART TWO OF THE STAIRS FLIRT SESSIONS. This is one of the most intimate things they have ever done.
(x.)
As you can see, they’re not all dickslapping. They can have tender touches, softer touches. Some of the most sensual kisspering to ever occur. Liam’s hand sliding across the width of Harry’s shoulders, landing gently on the other side, Liam’s breath is probably really warm against Harry’s ear----- I’m gonna go hang out on the freeway now.
(x.)
Please. Instagram canon. Head-massagers, best invention of mankind!
(x.)
Harry obviously hates this a lot.
(x.)
From sensual head-rubbing as a distraction to dick-grabbing in retaliation for being squeezed between Liam’s thighs---I mean??? Just try to tell me they couldn’t have heaps of ust banked up from all this bullshit they do, just try, homes, I’ll fight everyone, I stg.
(x.)
(x.)
Liam comes up to Harry, slings a companionable arm around his shoulders, Harry takes advantage, grabs Liam’s junk. Just another day in their regular, ordinary lives. (Please also take care to note: looking directly into each other’s eyes while Harry’s hand rests comfortably on Liam’s dick.)
Speaking of ust ------------ I just have to remind myself daily that this actually happened, is all.
(x.)
Liam on his knees in front of Harry, Harry’s smug self-satisfied smirk as he pushes Liam over, Liam’s little legs kicking up into the air in that super-exaggerated way. (Also: Liam ‘big gigantic hamshank’ Payne, letting himself get toppled over so easily, while on his knees, is never not gonna be one of the most awful things about him. Why does he choose to be the way that he is, why.)
(x.)
And then it escalates. Because things always fucking do.
(x.)
First of all--the easy, instant, unhesitating way Harry sinks to his knees will never not be one of the most menacing things about his life and his choices, but THEN he goes and does it in front of Liam: cue my death knoll. Liam just stops in his tracks, too, and you can visibly see him just go with it, roll with it, do that little hip punch in Harry’s direction, always and forever playing along with him.
(x.)
And then 180 degrees in the opposite direction. Look at these playful nose-booping baby otter motherfuckers. ʘ‿ʘ I’m mad.
(x.)
Playful!!! So playful!!! This fake swimming contest nonsense, first of all, which Harry cheats at (not to win, they’re the only two that haven’t reached the end, he couldn’t possibly WIN this stupid fake swimming game, literally all Harry can do at this point is beat Liam. So he does). And Harry really does play dirty when he cheats (but that’s okay, because Liam can handle Harry, Liam can take everything Harry dishes out, he’s got years of practice at it) starting with Harry’s hand on Liam’s ass, pulling him back, then climbing him until he gets to Liam’s face, shoving at him. And since this is a beautiful two-way street that they’re driving on, Liam fully retaliates, grabbing Harry, tickling him, standing up and grabbing Harry’s ankle and leg and pulling him around the stage. Revenge complete.
The Lirry Post Of Our Generation (And The TMH Tour) -- Part Two!