We Could Be Heroes 14/30
Title: We Could Be Heroes 14/30
Pairings: Jack/Ianto, John/Nick, Gwen/Rhys
Characters: Jack, Ianto, Gwen, Rhys, John Hart and a cast of (probably!) thousands.
Spoilers: Set after Exit Wounds. Sequel to 'Will My Arms Be Strong Enough?'
Rating: Adult - it's going to get very dark in some places.
Warnings: Slash, language, angst, dark themes.
Summary: Nick finds out that something very strange has happened to him.
Disclaimer: I'm a student. I don't own Torchwood.
The Master List (as it stands) is here: anduria-trianys.livejournal.com/27610.html#cutid1
Chapter 14
One week later…
When Nick entered the training room, he was very surprised to see Orion and four others - three men and a woman - sat behind a table which had been brought into the centre of the room. He recognised one of them as Nergal, the training instructor, but the others were all strangers. They were also wearing different clothing to any Nick had seen before; purple shirts with two emblems on the front. The first was the same on each person’s shirt; a large Omega symbol stitched in gold thread, but below that, each emblem was different, denoting five of the different departments at the Agency.
Briefly, Nick recalled his tour with Shivna the previous week and remembered that anyone with purple shirts embroidered with not only the departmental emblem, but also with the gold Omega symbol was the head of their department. Looking at Nergal, now, he could tell from the blue trefoil emblem - which reminded him uncannily of the Scout’s trefoil - and the gold Omega that he was the head of the Training department. Obviously, however, all of the very large departments had sub-divisions, each of which had a leader and these people were identified also by the Omega symbol, but this time it was silver rather than gold.
Why they were revealing themselves as figures of authority now, almost two weeks after his arrival, however, Nick had no idea. At the same time, however, he was worried that the training-room with which he had become so familiar had been completely transformed. All the brightly-coloured floor mats, wall hangings, as well as the different targets - both moving and stationary - had vanished, leaving behind a room that was darker and colder than the dankest cells he had seen in the Hub.
Okay, Nick thought, I think I’m in trouble. He was also very conscious that he was covered in blood - blood that was not his own. Earlier that day, there had been a severe incident and the large medical division was almost full to bursting with casualties. In fact, now that he thought about it, that must be the reason why no one from the medical department was here.
“Might not really be that bad a thing if the head of my department isn’t here to see me in trouble,” he muttered to himself. The last thing he wanted was for those who were in charge of him to think that he couldn’t follow orders or that he had serious disciplinary issues.
Of course - not that I do have disciplinary issues - none of this is going to be a problem if I end up dead, he mused. To his consternation, however, the woman started to laugh. It wasn’t an especially pleasant laugh either.
“We’re not planning on killing you,” she crooned in a voice that was no more reassuring than if it had been the hiss of a snake. “You’re far too valuable for that,” she added and stood up, crossing the room to walk around him in slow circles. “However,” she added, her voice right next to Nick’s ear, “being valuable can be very dangerous…if the gifts are not handled properly.”
Nick felt her hand going to her gun before he saw it and, thanking the powers that be for John’s training at Torchwood, he grabbed her arm and pinned her to the wall, pressing his body up against her back as he disarmed her. “Tell me what you want with me,” he growled.
She looked startled for a moment, but then her face twisted into an awful smile. “My, my, we have hooked a feisty one, haven’t we?” She calmly dislodged herself from him and walked back to the others. “We’ll have to be careful with this one, won’t we, boys?”
“Look,” said Nick impatiently. “I don’t know what you want with me and I mean no disrespect, but there are people coming back here who are in need of help. So if you could just tell me what you want from me and let me go back to work, I think there would be several people, including your colleagues, who would really appreciate that.”
There was a long silence. Then Orion stood up. Unlike the woman, however, he made no effort to appear to threaten Nick, but instead he simply leaned against the table and smiled.
“Dedication to the job is a commendable attribute,” he said calmly. “But that should not mean a sacrifice of other qualities that make up a person.” He paused. “Especially a quality such as…curiosity.” Slowly, he ran his tongue over his lips. “And especially curiosity about oneself.”
Nick blinked. “Curiosity?” The thought that he had been called just to answer questions about himself - about his own inquisitiveness - was at once baffling and extremely infuriating, especially at such a time as this. “You actually called me here to talk about curiosity when there are people who need my help?!” he spluttered.
Nergal grimaced. “He’s got a fair point,” he muttered.
“I realise the timing may have been slightly inappropriate,” agreed Orion, his voice as calm as if he had simply been discussing taking someone out of their post as a weather reporter. “But I don’t think you can honestly tell me you aren’t a little bit intrigued by…your secret power, can you?” he asked, a slightly cocky drawl permeating his voice.
“My secret power?” repeated Nick. “What are you talking about? I don’t have any power!”
“Oh, but you do.” The woman stepped in front of him again. “Or have you forgotten your meeting with the Sage?” She laughed again at the dumbstruck expression on the younger man’s face. “My, my; it seems you really have forgotten. It wasn’t that long ago, surely?”
Nick shook his head. “Okay, even if I do have some kind of strength, or whatever it is, why couldn’t you have waited to tell me when everything had calmed down?”
The leaders looked at each other as they digested this comment; Nergal seemed to be the most uncomfortable with Nick’s words, almost certainly because he knew that he was right. However, after a pause, Orion stood up again and, with a slightly calculating smile, he extended one hand towards Nick.
“Come with me,” he said, his voice little more than a quiet drawl, but still carrying a biting command to it.
Deciding it was better - and quicker - to just agree, Nick nodded and took his mentor’s hand - and he was instantly escorted out of the room and down a long and dark tunnel. He didn’t ask where they were going, partly because he had learned by now that getting answers about almost anything out of Orion was like getting blood out of a stone, and partly because he just wasn’t sure he wanted to know.
Eventually, Orion stopped in front of a heavy door and pushed it open, revealing a long room lit by several enormous torches, each of them burning brightly with a strong flame that seemed to change colour every time Nick looked at it. “Go inside,” he ordered Nick. “Walk between the rows of torches and tell me what you feel as you pass them.”
Nick gaped as he looked inside. “But…” he stammered, noticing how thin the room was and how large the torches, and especially the flames, were. He had no idea how on earth he could walk in such a narrow space without getting himself burnt by the heat of the fire if nothing else.
Nonetheless, he found himself compelled by the flames, even as they hissed and spat before his very eyes. Taking a deep breath, he closed his eyes and stepped through the doors, shuddering as they closed behind him, making him feel as if he’d just walked into a tomb.
He expected to feel the heat ripping through his skin as if he was walking straight into the middle of a furnace. But he didn’t; instead the room felt pleasantly warm, like entering a chalet and curling up in front of the fireplace when there was a blizzard outside. Opening his eyes, he looked around and saw, to his great astonishment, that the flames seemed to be curling back from him as he passed them by, as if they were deliberately trying not to harm him. Even when a fragment of burning ash whipped across his hand, Nick felt no pain. He didn’t even feel anything across his skin, but instead he felt a rush of energy surging through his mind and his body, giving him a sense of control that he didn’t know he could possess.
He was very conscious of Orion’s intense gaze on him as he turned back round to face him, the flames glowing behind him, though still apparently being careful not to actually touch him. However, as he walked back down the corridor, he saw the flames he had left behind him appearing to be drawing towards each other again, just as they had appeared when he had first seen inside the room.
This time, Orion did not escort him out of the room again, but instead he took him into a smaller room attached to the side of the Flame Room, as Nick had hastily dubbed it. They sat down together at a small table.
“So, what did you feel in there?” asked Orion without preamble.
“It was weird,” answered Nick, his voice shaking, although whether it was from nerves or excitement he wasn’t sure. “I felt like…like the fire was submitting to me, as if I was ruling over it or something.” He shook himself. “But that’s ridiculous…I mean, fire doesn’t submit to anyone’s control,” he added, and then caught Orion’s expression. “Does it?”
Orion paused, seemingly considering his answer. “Some people have a gift, Seren,” he said slowly. “They can do things that very few others can.”
“I’d worked that out for myself, funnily enough,” said Nick in a tight voice. “I was hoping you’d be able to tell me exactly what it is I can do.”
“Well, I’d have thought that after what you just saw happen, you would be smart enough to figure it out for yourself,” Orion retorted. “But since you seem unable to make that leap,” he smirked as Nick scowled, “I will make it for you.” He sat back and ran his tongue over his lips.
“Oh, please, take all the time in the world, it’s a difficult thing to do,” snapped Nick.
Orion glared at him, but started talking anyway. “There are people here who are…special, even by Time Agency standards. They have been touched by nature and gifted that power.” His eyes locked with Nick’s. “You might call them Elementals. They are attuned with one or more of the Elements - earth, water, fire, air and blood - here, blood is considered an Element, since so much is shed that it becomes part of nature.”
Nick’s mouth was hanging open. “Okay, as much as this sounds like something out of a fantasy novel - are you telling me that I have power over elements?”
“Not Elements - just the one Element,” Orion corrected him. “Fire.” He sat back in his chair. “You can control fire and manipulate a blaze, or even just a dying ember, to do as you wish. You can conjure it yourself and use it to fight - and it will never harm you, because it recognises you as its Master.”
He smiled at the shocked expression on his pupil’s face. “I see that you had no idea of this.” Nick shook his head wildly. “That does not matter; I will train you.”
“Train me?” repeated Nick. “Train me to do what?”
“To use the fire. To fight with it.” Orion’s voice dropped. “To kill, if it proves necessary.”
Nick stood up, shocked. “No way!” he cried. “I accept that I’ll have to fight to defend myself and others, but I’m a doctor; it’s my job to save lives, not take them!”
Orion laughed. “You take the ethics of your Hippocratic Oath seriously then.” Nick nodded. “Surely, you must realise how outdated that is by this time - as well as the incredible number of contradictions within the text.”
“What do you mean?” asked Nick indignantly.
“Does the Oath not state that you will not condone a woman having an abortion or the practice of euthanasia, but at the same time say that what you do is always for the benefit of the patient?”
“It does say that.” Nick ignored any surprise he might have felt that Orion knew this, as he put it, outdated pledge. “Look, I didn’t write the thing and I don’t pretend that it’s perfect. But the principle of it is still sound; a doctor’s role is to save life, not to take life.”
“That may have been true. But now the times are different. You’ve seen the place now; you know what kind of an environment the Agency is. We all have to be able to fight - and fight to kill if we have to. Do you think we get a kick out of it?”
“Yes,” said Nick simply. “I do.”
Orion blinked, startled, and then sighed. “Okay, some of us do get a kick out of it,” he admitted. “I do myself. But some of us hate it, but we know that it has to be done. So often, it’s a case of kill, or be killed.”
“I understand that, but…but it’s fire,” stammered Nick. “It’s brutal.”
“Besides,” continued Orion as if he hadn’t heard Nick’s words, “did you not have the same issues when you were with Torchwood?”
Seeing that Nick had no answer to that, he gripped his hand. “Put aside the past,” he said, his grey eyes boring holes into Nick’s hazel ones. “Become who you were born to be and you can learn to accept who you are.”
Nick stared at him, his heart pounding. He felt horribly conflicted; while he couldn’t deny that sometimes you had to do unthinkable things to defend yourself - and others - the thought of killing someone, anyone, just felt utterly abhorrent. Even on an early mission with Torchwood, he had refused to kill a mortally wounded Jack, even though he knew he would come back.
Firing a single gun shot to the head to kill someone was bad enough, but at least the victim wouldn’t suffer and there were several occasions, especially here, that demanded execution. Nick knew that. But this wasn’t a bullet to the head that they were talking about; this was burning; a slow and excruciatingly painful means of death. No matter what else he could use the fire for - however much good it could do - he knew that he could never condone something so horrible, no matter what the circumstances were.
“I…I don’t know,” he stammered as he stumbled to his feet. “I just…I need some time to…to think.” He kept his eyes on his mentor as he backed out of the door into the corridor and broke into a trot, his mind racing with thoughts - the foremost being that he had somehow managed to gain the ability to do things with fire.
Must have been a side-effect of travelling in the Rift; it changed my tattoo after all…
“Hey, there!” One of the younger Agents appeared in the corridor, startling Nick out of his thoughts. “We’re being sent on an undercover mission - you know -”
“The one to the late twentieth or early twenty-first century, yes, I know,” interrupted Nick. “I know I spend half my life in the medical department, but I’ve still got eyes, ears and a brain that isn’t constantly located in my trousers.”
The boy blinked. “We were just watching some television,” he muttered sullenly. “I was actually going to ask if you wanted to join us.”
Nick raised an eyebrow. “What sort of television?”
“Well, just see how they represented the future in those days.” The blue eyes started sparkling. “You’re from that time, Seren…might make you feel more at home.”
“Well,” Nick said half-heartedly. “Just make sure it’s not a soap opera.”
That earned him a roll of the eyes. “Please. We’ve got better taste than that.” He grabbed Nick’s hand and dragged him into the room, barely pausing to let him look around before dumping him rather unceremoniously onto a very hard sofa at the back of the room.
“So, what are we watching?” asked Nick, sitting up and trying not to wince as his back protested. Clearly, Rift-travel hadn’t done anything to heal the damage done to his spine.
“I think your people call it sci-fi,” answered his companion. He squinted at the title and sounded it out slowly, in slightly broken 21st century English. “It’s called…Star Trek: The Next…Generation.”
Nick didn’t even notice the other man stumbling slightly over his pronunciation of ‘generation’. His face had lit up when he heard the title. “Are you serious?” he spluttered out, almost laughing at the dumbfounded expression facing him. “I love Star Trek!” he added, perching himself on the sofa as the lights dimmed and the episode started up.
The boy - Aurigae, Nick realised with an internal snicker as he remembered that another name for that star was Capella, which was rather funny to him, considering some of the books he’d read - sat down beside him, his eyes wide with shock and a small measure of disdain as the episode played on the screen in front of them.
“You mean people in your time actually watched this?” he asked Nick incredulously. “No wonder they call it fiction, though I can’t work out where the science comes in!” He shook his head. “But I suppose there’s no accounting for tastes, eh, Seren?”
But Nick didn’t hear him. The minute he’d looked at the screen, the room seemed to disappear as he recognised the blonde commander and knew he had to leave. He couldn’t watch that particular episode since he knew what was coming.
“But rumour has it that Commander Shelby's played a hand or two...”
As the dialogue continued on the screen, Nick poked Aurigae on the shoulder. “Can we watch a different episode?” he said, hoping his voice didn’t shake too badly.
“Why?” The young man turned to look at him. “Sure, it’s a wildly inaccurate portrayal of the future, but it’s not that bad, is it?”
Nick shook his head. “No, but I know there are better ones.”
Another Agent - a woman - turned around. “But we’ve heard that this is one of the best ones!” she shouted and tossed Nick a pile of papers. “Surely, this many people can’t be wrong!”
“Well…no, but it’s not one of my favourites, personally,” stammered Nick, hoping that the terror in his pounding heart wasn’t revealed in his voice.
Aurigae cocked an eyebrow at him. “But it’s also one of the most famous episodes there is,” he said. “Surely, if we want to blend in with the culture, we should at least -”
“Aurigae,” interrupted the woman. “He’s gone.”
~*~
Shani finished storing some of the artefacts that the Research and Development Department had finished testing for the day. He entered the relevant information regarding the removal, analysis updates and return of each item into the computers and then started to close up for the night. However, as he did so, he was distracted by a quiet sound down the corridor. It appeared to be coming from the planetarium.
For the first time, curiosity won out over the need to finish his job - he’d be coming back this way on the way to bed anyway - and, after clicking the safety catch on his gun, Shani quietly made his way through to the planetarium. Ignoring the stars and planets flickering around him, he slipped down the small flights of stairs, following the sound until he reached the lowest level. He moved to brighten the lighting, but then froze as a flash of bright red hair caught his eye. Cocking his head slightly, he was stunned to see the familiar figure of his room mate - Seren, he quickly reminded himself - curled up in a corner trembling and sobbing into his knees.
Shani stayed frozen to the spot for several seconds, watching this unusual display of grief from his quiet dorm mate before he finally moved over and knelt down beside him. He didn’t touch him, just sat and watched him.
As if he’d realised he was being watched, the redhead stiffened and sat up, blinking and looking around him. As soon as he spotted Shani, however, he flinched away and hastily wiped his face.
“Just came in here for a bit of down time,” he said quietly. “I didn’t realise anyone was still here.”
Shani blinked at him. “I was just finishing up here,” he said rather stiffly. “I heard a sound and came down here to investigate.”
The other man nodded. “Oh, right. Well, you can put the safety catch back on your gun; I don’t think I’m in any condition to fight you.” He got up as soon as he heard the click of the safety catch going back on. “I’ll see you upstairs.”
“No.” Shani wasn’t having any of that. “You’re not going anywhere until you tell me what’s going on.” He glared at the surprised expression on his comrade’s face. “Look, I may not have an ounce of interest in your personal situation or anything like that, but I can’t have your personal feelings putting anyone here in danger. So either you explain what’s happened and get it out of your system or…” and his voice trailed off. “Am I clear?”
~*~
Nick had honestly not intended to be discovered here, especially considering it was so late and he had certainly held absolutely no desire to have been found by his room mate, who had barely spoken to him at all since he had received the box from his unknown benefactor. Now, seeing the unsettled look on his face, however, he found himself talking to him, telling him what had happened and how the episode of Star Trek had reminded him of one of the most terrifying events of his life - the Battle of Canary Wharf.
As he spoke, he saw Shani’s face change from neutrality to confusion - presumably he didn’t know what Star Trek was - and finally settling on what Nick would have called an expression of understanding on anyone else’s face, but on the black-haired man’s, simply looked foreign, as if he was trying to put himself in someone else’s shoes, but wasn’t quite managing it.
“The Battle of Canary Wharf,” Shani mused, pacing up and down. “That day is known to this day. There were stories, historical accounts even, of humans being taken and…their bodies being used to form a superior race…a race of warriors, devoid of emotion.”
Nick shivered. “That’s what the Cybermen did.” Even now, when he closed his eyes and leaned against the wall, he could still hear the metallic sounds and toneless voices echoing across the sterile white walls of the London building.
“But why were you there?” asked Shani. “I thought you didn’t work for Torchwood then.”
“I didn’t. My,” Nick swallowed hard, “my cousin did, though. I was in the city visiting him at the time and when I saw what was going on, I panicked and,” he laughed sheepishly, “I didn’t even think. I just ran into the tower to find him.”
“Wow,” was all Shani could say to that. “Just…wow.”
Nick laughed. “Yeah, that sounds about right. The worst part was that I couldn’t tell anyone outside Torchwood about it, because I knew no one would have believed me. They’d have just put it down to me watching too much science fiction - or they’d have thought I’d gone completely round the bend.” He turned away. “Twenty-first society wasn’t always good at accepting things that were different or…strange.”
To his surprise, Shani smiled sadly. “It sounds pretty conservative,” he said. “A bit like here, really.” He laughed softly at Nick’s shocked face. “It sounds ridiculous - I mean, here you are; somewhere where no one would think you were mad for talking about soul-destroying robots and where sex and drugs are more freely available than water in some places.”
“And where murder seems second nature to some,” said Nick rather crossly.
Shani didn’t even blink. “Yes, there’s that as well. It hardly sounds like a repressive society, does it? But it is - more repressive than you think.” He glanced around. “I say that sex is available freely and easily and it is - too freely and easily. Don’t get me wrong; I’m a young man and I have all those…same needs. But I don’t want just anyone or anything. I have…” he paused for the right word, “I have preferences.”
“Preferences?” repeated Nick. “What -” but then he caught the look the other man was giving him and something occurred to him; the way he’d seen Shani looking at him the morning after his arrival, that open appreciation for his body, something he hadn’t seen him show to any of the women here and there were, undoubtedly, some beautiful ones. “You’re gay?” he blurted out. “I mean…you like men?”
“Hard to believe isn’t it?” said Shani with a twisted smile. “In a society where…well, anything goes - male, female, alien, human - you wouldn’t expect to see someone with a strict single preference, would you? But there are several of us, though we have to be discreet, otherwise we face,” he swallowed hard, “persecution.”
Nick nodded, understanding. “It’s similar at home,” he said. “It’s better than it used to be, but for a long time, there used to be a social norm of men taking women as their wives and having children with them. Anything outside of that was considered foreign, wrong even.” He sighed. “It’s sad that, three thousand years down the line, things are still the same, but different.”
“It is,” agreed Shani. “But we do what we do to survive. Hate crime still exists to this day, Seren and it is growing worse with every passing year. People like me are now afraid to come out in public, because of what’s being done to them.”
Nick sat down. “You have to do horrible things to survive sometimes, I suppose,” he murmured, absently running his hands together. “Hide in the shadows, deny who you are, fight, lie…I guess I hoped that after so long things would be better.”
“That’s what everyone hopes. But it never happens.” Shani laughed bitterly and Nick felt a surge of pity for him. Suddenly his prickly attitude made far more sense; he was trying to protect himself from being hurt. He’d probably been discriminated against for so long just because of his sexual preference and had joined the Agency as a means to escape.
“It never really ends, does it?” he murmured.
“I’ve almost given up hope of it ending,” said Shani quietly. “I’ve just accepted that there are things, awful things, that I have to do to survive, whether I like it or not.” He looked at Nick. “And so do all of us. Sometimes they’re things we don’t understand - things we don’t want to understand - but we still do them.”
“But why?” asked Nick.
Shani gave him a sad smile. “Because we have to hope that, in the end, it will make a difference in other ways. Look at me; I’m a Time Agent; a warrior and, as far-fetched as it sounds, a defender of the universe. I can’t do my job if I’m dead, can I?”
“It still doesn’t make things right though.”
“Of course it doesn’t. But sometimes it’s all you can do.”
***
Next Time: A battle at the Agency means Nick is forced to face his fears, but is then given an opportunity to show his greatest strength. But will he take it?
PS: For those of you who - like me - don’t know Star Trek very well, type ‘Star Trek Borg’ into Google Images and ignore the blonde. Or just type ‘Best of Both Worlds Star Trek’ into YouTube (that’s the episode they were watching and I'm reliably informed that it's the only episode with Commander Shelby in it!) and you’ll probably see why Nick had a slight problem given his past
Pairings: Jack/Ianto, John/Nick, Gwen/Rhys
Characters: Jack, Ianto, Gwen, Rhys, John Hart and a cast of (probably!) thousands.
Spoilers: Set after Exit Wounds. Sequel to 'Will My Arms Be Strong Enough?'
Rating: Adult - it's going to get very dark in some places.
Warnings: Slash, language, angst, dark themes.
Summary: Nick finds out that something very strange has happened to him.
Disclaimer: I'm a student. I don't own Torchwood.
The Master List (as it stands) is here: anduria-trianys.livejournal.com/27610.html#cutid1
Chapter 14
One week later…
When Nick entered the training room, he was very surprised to see Orion and four others - three men and a woman - sat behind a table which had been brought into the centre of the room. He recognised one of them as Nergal, the training instructor, but the others were all strangers. They were also wearing different clothing to any Nick had seen before; purple shirts with two emblems on the front. The first was the same on each person’s shirt; a large Omega symbol stitched in gold thread, but below that, each emblem was different, denoting five of the different departments at the Agency.
Briefly, Nick recalled his tour with Shivna the previous week and remembered that anyone with purple shirts embroidered with not only the departmental emblem, but also with the gold Omega symbol was the head of their department. Looking at Nergal, now, he could tell from the blue trefoil emblem - which reminded him uncannily of the Scout’s trefoil - and the gold Omega that he was the head of the Training department. Obviously, however, all of the very large departments had sub-divisions, each of which had a leader and these people were identified also by the Omega symbol, but this time it was silver rather than gold.
Why they were revealing themselves as figures of authority now, almost two weeks after his arrival, however, Nick had no idea. At the same time, however, he was worried that the training-room with which he had become so familiar had been completely transformed. All the brightly-coloured floor mats, wall hangings, as well as the different targets - both moving and stationary - had vanished, leaving behind a room that was darker and colder than the dankest cells he had seen in the Hub.
Okay, Nick thought, I think I’m in trouble. He was also very conscious that he was covered in blood - blood that was not his own. Earlier that day, there had been a severe incident and the large medical division was almost full to bursting with casualties. In fact, now that he thought about it, that must be the reason why no one from the medical department was here.
“Might not really be that bad a thing if the head of my department isn’t here to see me in trouble,” he muttered to himself. The last thing he wanted was for those who were in charge of him to think that he couldn’t follow orders or that he had serious disciplinary issues.
Of course - not that I do have disciplinary issues - none of this is going to be a problem if I end up dead, he mused. To his consternation, however, the woman started to laugh. It wasn’t an especially pleasant laugh either.
“We’re not planning on killing you,” she crooned in a voice that was no more reassuring than if it had been the hiss of a snake. “You’re far too valuable for that,” she added and stood up, crossing the room to walk around him in slow circles. “However,” she added, her voice right next to Nick’s ear, “being valuable can be very dangerous…if the gifts are not handled properly.”
Nick felt her hand going to her gun before he saw it and, thanking the powers that be for John’s training at Torchwood, he grabbed her arm and pinned her to the wall, pressing his body up against her back as he disarmed her. “Tell me what you want with me,” he growled.
She looked startled for a moment, but then her face twisted into an awful smile. “My, my, we have hooked a feisty one, haven’t we?” She calmly dislodged herself from him and walked back to the others. “We’ll have to be careful with this one, won’t we, boys?”
“Look,” said Nick impatiently. “I don’t know what you want with me and I mean no disrespect, but there are people coming back here who are in need of help. So if you could just tell me what you want from me and let me go back to work, I think there would be several people, including your colleagues, who would really appreciate that.”
There was a long silence. Then Orion stood up. Unlike the woman, however, he made no effort to appear to threaten Nick, but instead he simply leaned against the table and smiled.
“Dedication to the job is a commendable attribute,” he said calmly. “But that should not mean a sacrifice of other qualities that make up a person.” He paused. “Especially a quality such as…curiosity.” Slowly, he ran his tongue over his lips. “And especially curiosity about oneself.”
Nick blinked. “Curiosity?” The thought that he had been called just to answer questions about himself - about his own inquisitiveness - was at once baffling and extremely infuriating, especially at such a time as this. “You actually called me here to talk about curiosity when there are people who need my help?!” he spluttered.
Nergal grimaced. “He’s got a fair point,” he muttered.
“I realise the timing may have been slightly inappropriate,” agreed Orion, his voice as calm as if he had simply been discussing taking someone out of their post as a weather reporter. “But I don’t think you can honestly tell me you aren’t a little bit intrigued by…your secret power, can you?” he asked, a slightly cocky drawl permeating his voice.
“My secret power?” repeated Nick. “What are you talking about? I don’t have any power!”
“Oh, but you do.” The woman stepped in front of him again. “Or have you forgotten your meeting with the Sage?” She laughed again at the dumbstruck expression on the younger man’s face. “My, my; it seems you really have forgotten. It wasn’t that long ago, surely?”
Nick shook his head. “Okay, even if I do have some kind of strength, or whatever it is, why couldn’t you have waited to tell me when everything had calmed down?”
The leaders looked at each other as they digested this comment; Nergal seemed to be the most uncomfortable with Nick’s words, almost certainly because he knew that he was right. However, after a pause, Orion stood up again and, with a slightly calculating smile, he extended one hand towards Nick.
“Come with me,” he said, his voice little more than a quiet drawl, but still carrying a biting command to it.
Deciding it was better - and quicker - to just agree, Nick nodded and took his mentor’s hand - and he was instantly escorted out of the room and down a long and dark tunnel. He didn’t ask where they were going, partly because he had learned by now that getting answers about almost anything out of Orion was like getting blood out of a stone, and partly because he just wasn’t sure he wanted to know.
Eventually, Orion stopped in front of a heavy door and pushed it open, revealing a long room lit by several enormous torches, each of them burning brightly with a strong flame that seemed to change colour every time Nick looked at it. “Go inside,” he ordered Nick. “Walk between the rows of torches and tell me what you feel as you pass them.”
Nick gaped as he looked inside. “But…” he stammered, noticing how thin the room was and how large the torches, and especially the flames, were. He had no idea how on earth he could walk in such a narrow space without getting himself burnt by the heat of the fire if nothing else.
Nonetheless, he found himself compelled by the flames, even as they hissed and spat before his very eyes. Taking a deep breath, he closed his eyes and stepped through the doors, shuddering as they closed behind him, making him feel as if he’d just walked into a tomb.
He expected to feel the heat ripping through his skin as if he was walking straight into the middle of a furnace. But he didn’t; instead the room felt pleasantly warm, like entering a chalet and curling up in front of the fireplace when there was a blizzard outside. Opening his eyes, he looked around and saw, to his great astonishment, that the flames seemed to be curling back from him as he passed them by, as if they were deliberately trying not to harm him. Even when a fragment of burning ash whipped across his hand, Nick felt no pain. He didn’t even feel anything across his skin, but instead he felt a rush of energy surging through his mind and his body, giving him a sense of control that he didn’t know he could possess.
He was very conscious of Orion’s intense gaze on him as he turned back round to face him, the flames glowing behind him, though still apparently being careful not to actually touch him. However, as he walked back down the corridor, he saw the flames he had left behind him appearing to be drawing towards each other again, just as they had appeared when he had first seen inside the room.
This time, Orion did not escort him out of the room again, but instead he took him into a smaller room attached to the side of the Flame Room, as Nick had hastily dubbed it. They sat down together at a small table.
“So, what did you feel in there?” asked Orion without preamble.
“It was weird,” answered Nick, his voice shaking, although whether it was from nerves or excitement he wasn’t sure. “I felt like…like the fire was submitting to me, as if I was ruling over it or something.” He shook himself. “But that’s ridiculous…I mean, fire doesn’t submit to anyone’s control,” he added, and then caught Orion’s expression. “Does it?”
Orion paused, seemingly considering his answer. “Some people have a gift, Seren,” he said slowly. “They can do things that very few others can.”
“I’d worked that out for myself, funnily enough,” said Nick in a tight voice. “I was hoping you’d be able to tell me exactly what it is I can do.”
“Well, I’d have thought that after what you just saw happen, you would be smart enough to figure it out for yourself,” Orion retorted. “But since you seem unable to make that leap,” he smirked as Nick scowled, “I will make it for you.” He sat back and ran his tongue over his lips.
“Oh, please, take all the time in the world, it’s a difficult thing to do,” snapped Nick.
Orion glared at him, but started talking anyway. “There are people here who are…special, even by Time Agency standards. They have been touched by nature and gifted that power.” His eyes locked with Nick’s. “You might call them Elementals. They are attuned with one or more of the Elements - earth, water, fire, air and blood - here, blood is considered an Element, since so much is shed that it becomes part of nature.”
Nick’s mouth was hanging open. “Okay, as much as this sounds like something out of a fantasy novel - are you telling me that I have power over elements?”
“Not Elements - just the one Element,” Orion corrected him. “Fire.” He sat back in his chair. “You can control fire and manipulate a blaze, or even just a dying ember, to do as you wish. You can conjure it yourself and use it to fight - and it will never harm you, because it recognises you as its Master.”
He smiled at the shocked expression on his pupil’s face. “I see that you had no idea of this.” Nick shook his head wildly. “That does not matter; I will train you.”
“Train me?” repeated Nick. “Train me to do what?”
“To use the fire. To fight with it.” Orion’s voice dropped. “To kill, if it proves necessary.”
Nick stood up, shocked. “No way!” he cried. “I accept that I’ll have to fight to defend myself and others, but I’m a doctor; it’s my job to save lives, not take them!”
Orion laughed. “You take the ethics of your Hippocratic Oath seriously then.” Nick nodded. “Surely, you must realise how outdated that is by this time - as well as the incredible number of contradictions within the text.”
“What do you mean?” asked Nick indignantly.
“Does the Oath not state that you will not condone a woman having an abortion or the practice of euthanasia, but at the same time say that what you do is always for the benefit of the patient?”
“It does say that.” Nick ignored any surprise he might have felt that Orion knew this, as he put it, outdated pledge. “Look, I didn’t write the thing and I don’t pretend that it’s perfect. But the principle of it is still sound; a doctor’s role is to save life, not to take life.”
“That may have been true. But now the times are different. You’ve seen the place now; you know what kind of an environment the Agency is. We all have to be able to fight - and fight to kill if we have to. Do you think we get a kick out of it?”
“Yes,” said Nick simply. “I do.”
Orion blinked, startled, and then sighed. “Okay, some of us do get a kick out of it,” he admitted. “I do myself. But some of us hate it, but we know that it has to be done. So often, it’s a case of kill, or be killed.”
“I understand that, but…but it’s fire,” stammered Nick. “It’s brutal.”
“Besides,” continued Orion as if he hadn’t heard Nick’s words, “did you not have the same issues when you were with Torchwood?”
Seeing that Nick had no answer to that, he gripped his hand. “Put aside the past,” he said, his grey eyes boring holes into Nick’s hazel ones. “Become who you were born to be and you can learn to accept who you are.”
Nick stared at him, his heart pounding. He felt horribly conflicted; while he couldn’t deny that sometimes you had to do unthinkable things to defend yourself - and others - the thought of killing someone, anyone, just felt utterly abhorrent. Even on an early mission with Torchwood, he had refused to kill a mortally wounded Jack, even though he knew he would come back.
Firing a single gun shot to the head to kill someone was bad enough, but at least the victim wouldn’t suffer and there were several occasions, especially here, that demanded execution. Nick knew that. But this wasn’t a bullet to the head that they were talking about; this was burning; a slow and excruciatingly painful means of death. No matter what else he could use the fire for - however much good it could do - he knew that he could never condone something so horrible, no matter what the circumstances were.
“I…I don’t know,” he stammered as he stumbled to his feet. “I just…I need some time to…to think.” He kept his eyes on his mentor as he backed out of the door into the corridor and broke into a trot, his mind racing with thoughts - the foremost being that he had somehow managed to gain the ability to do things with fire.
Must have been a side-effect of travelling in the Rift; it changed my tattoo after all…
“Hey, there!” One of the younger Agents appeared in the corridor, startling Nick out of his thoughts. “We’re being sent on an undercover mission - you know -”
“The one to the late twentieth or early twenty-first century, yes, I know,” interrupted Nick. “I know I spend half my life in the medical department, but I’ve still got eyes, ears and a brain that isn’t constantly located in my trousers.”
The boy blinked. “We were just watching some television,” he muttered sullenly. “I was actually going to ask if you wanted to join us.”
Nick raised an eyebrow. “What sort of television?”
“Well, just see how they represented the future in those days.” The blue eyes started sparkling. “You’re from that time, Seren…might make you feel more at home.”
“Well,” Nick said half-heartedly. “Just make sure it’s not a soap opera.”
That earned him a roll of the eyes. “Please. We’ve got better taste than that.” He grabbed Nick’s hand and dragged him into the room, barely pausing to let him look around before dumping him rather unceremoniously onto a very hard sofa at the back of the room.
“So, what are we watching?” asked Nick, sitting up and trying not to wince as his back protested. Clearly, Rift-travel hadn’t done anything to heal the damage done to his spine.
“I think your people call it sci-fi,” answered his companion. He squinted at the title and sounded it out slowly, in slightly broken 21st century English. “It’s called…Star Trek: The Next…Generation.”
Nick didn’t even notice the other man stumbling slightly over his pronunciation of ‘generation’. His face had lit up when he heard the title. “Are you serious?” he spluttered out, almost laughing at the dumbfounded expression facing him. “I love Star Trek!” he added, perching himself on the sofa as the lights dimmed and the episode started up.
The boy - Aurigae, Nick realised with an internal snicker as he remembered that another name for that star was Capella, which was rather funny to him, considering some of the books he’d read - sat down beside him, his eyes wide with shock and a small measure of disdain as the episode played on the screen in front of them.
“You mean people in your time actually watched this?” he asked Nick incredulously. “No wonder they call it fiction, though I can’t work out where the science comes in!” He shook his head. “But I suppose there’s no accounting for tastes, eh, Seren?”
But Nick didn’t hear him. The minute he’d looked at the screen, the room seemed to disappear as he recognised the blonde commander and knew he had to leave. He couldn’t watch that particular episode since he knew what was coming.
“But rumour has it that Commander Shelby's played a hand or two...”
As the dialogue continued on the screen, Nick poked Aurigae on the shoulder. “Can we watch a different episode?” he said, hoping his voice didn’t shake too badly.
“Why?” The young man turned to look at him. “Sure, it’s a wildly inaccurate portrayal of the future, but it’s not that bad, is it?”
Nick shook his head. “No, but I know there are better ones.”
Another Agent - a woman - turned around. “But we’ve heard that this is one of the best ones!” she shouted and tossed Nick a pile of papers. “Surely, this many people can’t be wrong!”
“Well…no, but it’s not one of my favourites, personally,” stammered Nick, hoping that the terror in his pounding heart wasn’t revealed in his voice.
Aurigae cocked an eyebrow at him. “But it’s also one of the most famous episodes there is,” he said. “Surely, if we want to blend in with the culture, we should at least -”
“Aurigae,” interrupted the woman. “He’s gone.”
~*~
Shani finished storing some of the artefacts that the Research and Development Department had finished testing for the day. He entered the relevant information regarding the removal, analysis updates and return of each item into the computers and then started to close up for the night. However, as he did so, he was distracted by a quiet sound down the corridor. It appeared to be coming from the planetarium.
For the first time, curiosity won out over the need to finish his job - he’d be coming back this way on the way to bed anyway - and, after clicking the safety catch on his gun, Shani quietly made his way through to the planetarium. Ignoring the stars and planets flickering around him, he slipped down the small flights of stairs, following the sound until he reached the lowest level. He moved to brighten the lighting, but then froze as a flash of bright red hair caught his eye. Cocking his head slightly, he was stunned to see the familiar figure of his room mate - Seren, he quickly reminded himself - curled up in a corner trembling and sobbing into his knees.
Shani stayed frozen to the spot for several seconds, watching this unusual display of grief from his quiet dorm mate before he finally moved over and knelt down beside him. He didn’t touch him, just sat and watched him.
As if he’d realised he was being watched, the redhead stiffened and sat up, blinking and looking around him. As soon as he spotted Shani, however, he flinched away and hastily wiped his face.
“Just came in here for a bit of down time,” he said quietly. “I didn’t realise anyone was still here.”
Shani blinked at him. “I was just finishing up here,” he said rather stiffly. “I heard a sound and came down here to investigate.”
The other man nodded. “Oh, right. Well, you can put the safety catch back on your gun; I don’t think I’m in any condition to fight you.” He got up as soon as he heard the click of the safety catch going back on. “I’ll see you upstairs.”
“No.” Shani wasn’t having any of that. “You’re not going anywhere until you tell me what’s going on.” He glared at the surprised expression on his comrade’s face. “Look, I may not have an ounce of interest in your personal situation or anything like that, but I can’t have your personal feelings putting anyone here in danger. So either you explain what’s happened and get it out of your system or…” and his voice trailed off. “Am I clear?”
~*~
Nick had honestly not intended to be discovered here, especially considering it was so late and he had certainly held absolutely no desire to have been found by his room mate, who had barely spoken to him at all since he had received the box from his unknown benefactor. Now, seeing the unsettled look on his face, however, he found himself talking to him, telling him what had happened and how the episode of Star Trek had reminded him of one of the most terrifying events of his life - the Battle of Canary Wharf.
As he spoke, he saw Shani’s face change from neutrality to confusion - presumably he didn’t know what Star Trek was - and finally settling on what Nick would have called an expression of understanding on anyone else’s face, but on the black-haired man’s, simply looked foreign, as if he was trying to put himself in someone else’s shoes, but wasn’t quite managing it.
“The Battle of Canary Wharf,” Shani mused, pacing up and down. “That day is known to this day. There were stories, historical accounts even, of humans being taken and…their bodies being used to form a superior race…a race of warriors, devoid of emotion.”
Nick shivered. “That’s what the Cybermen did.” Even now, when he closed his eyes and leaned against the wall, he could still hear the metallic sounds and toneless voices echoing across the sterile white walls of the London building.
“But why were you there?” asked Shani. “I thought you didn’t work for Torchwood then.”
“I didn’t. My,” Nick swallowed hard, “my cousin did, though. I was in the city visiting him at the time and when I saw what was going on, I panicked and,” he laughed sheepishly, “I didn’t even think. I just ran into the tower to find him.”
“Wow,” was all Shani could say to that. “Just…wow.”
Nick laughed. “Yeah, that sounds about right. The worst part was that I couldn’t tell anyone outside Torchwood about it, because I knew no one would have believed me. They’d have just put it down to me watching too much science fiction - or they’d have thought I’d gone completely round the bend.” He turned away. “Twenty-first society wasn’t always good at accepting things that were different or…strange.”
To his surprise, Shani smiled sadly. “It sounds pretty conservative,” he said. “A bit like here, really.” He laughed softly at Nick’s shocked face. “It sounds ridiculous - I mean, here you are; somewhere where no one would think you were mad for talking about soul-destroying robots and where sex and drugs are more freely available than water in some places.”
“And where murder seems second nature to some,” said Nick rather crossly.
Shani didn’t even blink. “Yes, there’s that as well. It hardly sounds like a repressive society, does it? But it is - more repressive than you think.” He glanced around. “I say that sex is available freely and easily and it is - too freely and easily. Don’t get me wrong; I’m a young man and I have all those…same needs. But I don’t want just anyone or anything. I have…” he paused for the right word, “I have preferences.”
“Preferences?” repeated Nick. “What -” but then he caught the look the other man was giving him and something occurred to him; the way he’d seen Shani looking at him the morning after his arrival, that open appreciation for his body, something he hadn’t seen him show to any of the women here and there were, undoubtedly, some beautiful ones. “You’re gay?” he blurted out. “I mean…you like men?”
“Hard to believe isn’t it?” said Shani with a twisted smile. “In a society where…well, anything goes - male, female, alien, human - you wouldn’t expect to see someone with a strict single preference, would you? But there are several of us, though we have to be discreet, otherwise we face,” he swallowed hard, “persecution.”
Nick nodded, understanding. “It’s similar at home,” he said. “It’s better than it used to be, but for a long time, there used to be a social norm of men taking women as their wives and having children with them. Anything outside of that was considered foreign, wrong even.” He sighed. “It’s sad that, three thousand years down the line, things are still the same, but different.”
“It is,” agreed Shani. “But we do what we do to survive. Hate crime still exists to this day, Seren and it is growing worse with every passing year. People like me are now afraid to come out in public, because of what’s being done to them.”
Nick sat down. “You have to do horrible things to survive sometimes, I suppose,” he murmured, absently running his hands together. “Hide in the shadows, deny who you are, fight, lie…I guess I hoped that after so long things would be better.”
“That’s what everyone hopes. But it never happens.” Shani laughed bitterly and Nick felt a surge of pity for him. Suddenly his prickly attitude made far more sense; he was trying to protect himself from being hurt. He’d probably been discriminated against for so long just because of his sexual preference and had joined the Agency as a means to escape.
“It never really ends, does it?” he murmured.
“I’ve almost given up hope of it ending,” said Shani quietly. “I’ve just accepted that there are things, awful things, that I have to do to survive, whether I like it or not.” He looked at Nick. “And so do all of us. Sometimes they’re things we don’t understand - things we don’t want to understand - but we still do them.”
“But why?” asked Nick.
Shani gave him a sad smile. “Because we have to hope that, in the end, it will make a difference in other ways. Look at me; I’m a Time Agent; a warrior and, as far-fetched as it sounds, a defender of the universe. I can’t do my job if I’m dead, can I?”
“It still doesn’t make things right though.”
“Of course it doesn’t. But sometimes it’s all you can do.”
***
Next Time: A battle at the Agency means Nick is forced to face his fears, but is then given an opportunity to show his greatest strength. But will he take it?
PS: For those of you who - like me - don’t know Star Trek very well, type ‘Star Trek Borg’ into Google Images and ignore the blonde. Or just type ‘Best of Both Worlds Star Trek’ into YouTube (that’s the episode they were watching and I'm reliably informed that it's the only episode with Commander Shelby in it!) and you’ll probably see why Nick had a slight problem given his past