To all my high school friends:
Maybe the time has gone, but the faces I will always recall. Things in this life change very slowly, if they ever change at all. The scary part being that we've all been hit with change lately, and it doesn't seem to have come slowlyl. Do you think about the day you'll leave home? I'm sure that you do. But I'll bet that what you'll remember most clearly are the days in the week before you left. You know, the days that you spend getting addresses, phone numbers, screennames, and email addresses and trying to figure out how to say good-bye to everyone that you've loved for the last several years of your life.
You'll remember standing by your best friend's car one night, after midnight, trying to sum up the meaning of a friendship you'd managed to maintain through thick and thin for years. You'll experience how hard that is, to think of how to say good-bye to that one person. It's nearly impossible, to give them that one last hug and turn around and walk inside.
I'll bet the part of what you'll remember is the night before you leave, kissing your boyfriend or girlfriend good-bye one last time. Just knowing that you'd have to turn around and walk back inside is going to be motivation enough not to leave. Stepping back to take one last look at that person you've grown to love -- it's really scary. And you'll go and you tell yourself that you won't ever find someone new. You won't ever replace your old friends. You'll never fall in love again.
It's really crazy,what kinds of things can happen when you don't mean for them to. You'll get to a new place full of strangers. You'll meet people who forget you. You'll forget people who you meet. But sometimes, you might come across some extra ordinarily special people. They have tears to shed, too. They also left people that they love behind. They're still in love with that guy back home where they used to live, and they all want someone to talk to. So you talk. Talk is good. You form bonds you never thought you'd form. You call your old friends and tell them about the new ones. Sometimes, they don't understand. Sometimes, you hurt their feelings. Sometimes everyone is a bit jealous. You miss your friends and your love.
Sometimes college is really complicated.
Sometimes you stay together, other times you break up. Sometimes you think you've done the wrong thing by coming so far away from home. And sometimes when you start thinking like this, it's time to make a change. So when this happens, you sit down and turn on your stereo, and that song "Leaving on a Jet Plane" from the Armageddon soundtrack is on, or The Eagles "Sad Cafe" song, and you wonder if you can still recall all the faces from your past. So, you pick up the phone and you call them all just to say, "Hi, I love you, I'm thinking about you." And then just as an after thought you say, "You know, I'm really learning a lot from college. I wish you would visit all of my friends. They would love you. And you would love them. They're very important to me."
Because, after all this is going to be college. And college is a growing experience. Growing experiences causing change is hard. But whatever doesn't kill you only makes you stronger.
You learned a lot in high school, you'll learn a lot more when you go to college. Through it all you learn that pulling an all-nighter means staying up all night to study for a test you will then sleep through. You learn to appreciate the taste of beer - the cheapest of all alcoholic beverages. You learn that you can roll out of bed 10 minutes before class and go to class looking like shit - and no one will notice or care. You'll learn you really can do things for yourself without your parents looking over your shoulder --but you'll also learn you never realized how nice it was to have them there, just in case. More than anything, however, you've learned and will learn how much your friends really mean to you. College friends come to mean a lot too, but they can never compare to your friends from home. Your friends from hs teach you the meaning of friendship during your college years. Because you are apart from them you tend to express your feelings more -- you learn how much these people truly affect your life.
You've got your best friend who exemplifies friendship - she calls at least once a week, sends email every day, and even sends you real mail. You feel like you never left each other...(s)he still knows everything about you, and even over the internet can tell when something is wrong. They teach you that distance doesn't have to change a friendship at all. Then, there is your other best friend. (S)he rarely calls or writes and doesn't do the email thing. At times you think (s)he has forgotten about you...until you hear from them. You hear for the first time in almost two months - and nothing has changed. You are still you and (s)he is still her/him --even though you never talk you are as close as ever, you are still the best of friends. You find yourself expressing just how much (s)he means to you -- because you realize it now more than ever. (S)he teaches you that true friends are friends in the soul... separation cant tear them apart.
College is rough. College severs some bonds and solidifies others...it puts a distance between you and the ones you love. But it teaches you so much. It forces your real friends to come to the front, while the rest take their places in the shadows of your memories. In college you lose some people -- but through real friendship and the strength of the soul (which is where real friends join as one) you keep the ones you will need most in your life.
I love you guys -- you have been such a grand part of the last several years of my life, and whether we still talk, whether we still keep in touch at all, i will always remember you. The memories are fond and plenty, and maybe someday, life will throw us back together again, but until then, know that i'm thinking of you.