i suck
i should work out. i lost 5 lbs somewhere and i cant seem to find it. conan says its probably all my muscle falling off from only eating bread and candy.... but.. i dunno. people wouldnt have been asking about it if my muscle had just turned to fat... cause i'd be the same size. oh well, 5 lbs kinda makes a difference when your skinny.
i miss saybra already. i know its not like i really saw her all that much anyway.. but knowing that it takes 3.5 hours to see her now.. makes it seem horrible. its not fair that she gets to go grow up without me =(
i need a new job. i really like the bank.. and i like the new girl cause we make fun of all the stupid people that come through.. we're really cynical people so its fun. but making close to shit pay for 8 months without a smudge of recognition.... sucks.
im constantly hearing about everyone getting an entire pell grant from financial aid, when they make more money than me, or they are dependant on someone who makes a whole lot of money (like with my boss's niece who is living with them, having to pay for nothing.. but she doesnt have a job) so she gets over $4000 to go to school for less hours than i am!!! it makes me want to scream. i dont understand how it seems that everyone else is more deserving to not have to worry about bills and making it every month, but im not because im actually trying.
this next semester im going to be going to school for 3 hours every morning, and working 6 every afternoon when other people are going to get to sit around and have their living expenses paid for by the govenment. UGH!
i know im being really selfish.. but it just really doesnt seem fair. and i can hear my dad saying that i wont always get what i want... (yes. i know.) and that this whole thing (as with the rest of my 20 years of living) will be a learning experience.. and ill build "character" from it...
i think im just... tired of building character. i think i just need one thing to go completely right for once.
but ..maybe im just not working hard enough.
i miss saybra already. i know its not like i really saw her all that much anyway.. but knowing that it takes 3.5 hours to see her now.. makes it seem horrible. its not fair that she gets to go grow up without me =(
i need a new job. i really like the bank.. and i like the new girl cause we make fun of all the stupid people that come through.. we're really cynical people so its fun. but making close to shit pay for 8 months without a smudge of recognition.... sucks.
im constantly hearing about everyone getting an entire pell grant from financial aid, when they make more money than me, or they are dependant on someone who makes a whole lot of money (like with my boss's niece who is living with them, having to pay for nothing.. but she doesnt have a job) so she gets over $4000 to go to school for less hours than i am!!! it makes me want to scream. i dont understand how it seems that everyone else is more deserving to not have to worry about bills and making it every month, but im not because im actually trying.
this next semester im going to be going to school for 3 hours every morning, and working 6 every afternoon when other people are going to get to sit around and have their living expenses paid for by the govenment. UGH!
i know im being really selfish.. but it just really doesnt seem fair. and i can hear my dad saying that i wont always get what i want... (yes. i know.) and that this whole thing (as with the rest of my 20 years of living) will be a learning experience.. and ill build "character" from it...
i think im just... tired of building character. i think i just need one thing to go completely right for once.
but ..maybe im just not working hard enough.