Fic: Their Time Before (Adrian/Lindy - R)

[jandjsalmon]

Title: Their Time Before
Authors: airmidm and jandjsalmon
Characters: Adrian Pucey and Melinda Bobbin
Rating: R - for the smut.
Summary: Following the war Adrian Pucey was looking for something. He found her in Iceland and lost her in the same day.
Notes: The back story for Adrian and Lindy at aurlud. It's not necessary to read anything there to enjoy this though. And I

Comments

[nightfalltwen]

The story is a fun read. I like seeing the points of view of minor characters and knowing their stories outside of the general HP verse. You can tell it's a snippet from something long and established.

The embedded links are completely distracting and you should remove them. They take away from the writing in a very jarring way that almost made me hit back and stop reading. A good rule of thumb is to describe the places you're referencing, don't ever just link to them. It's a weak way of writing.

Outside of that, I really enjoyed the story. You have some good structure and I want to know more about the emotions behind how this all began. Making me want to read more is a good sign. Well done. :)

[airmidm]

Thank you for your review. I'm sorry that you find the links distracting as this was written for an RPG where links were encouraged and it became habit for us to include them. I am glad that you otherwise liked the story.

[nightfalltwen]

That can happen. The RP I'm in doesn't encourage links, though it doesn't actively discourage them either. As a writer, I would prefer description over links because I like how words can shape an image. With RPG, it can be different, for sure.

What RPG were/are you in?

[airmidm]

We've been in two but I'd not recommend either of them to anyone. We're happier writing for ourselves. I know what you mean about the description over links and in an rpg situation you can only describe something so many times before the readers want to spork you. :)