(no subject)
I've been thinking a lot the last couple days. As we all well know, that's never a good idea. When I start thinking, I usually end up feeling sorry for myself, or otherwise depressed about something or other. Sadly, this isn't an exception, it merely supports the trend.
A certain feeling of... Rejection is what has been most prevalent the last months and half or so. Pretty much the whole time I've been looking for a job. Throw into that a personal event or two, and I feel downright terrible. Of course, this isn't anything new. It wouldn't bother me nearly so badly, not being able to find a job, if it weren't for the fact that I have bills I have to pay.
The more personal things are... well, personal. The folk involved in them know who they are, and they know what's going on. There's no reason to talk about it publicly, beyond maybe acknowledging that the things exist. Which to me pretty much ends this section of the post.
I feel... Like I'm broken. Like there's some piece of me missing and I can't function properly without it. Like there's a hole in my chest, and sometimes it gets difficult for me to breath. I need to find something to fill that void with. Be it work, or writing, or reading... Something just to keep me away from it, to hopefully let it go away on it's own. Let the problem fix itself.
Things change. People grow apart, forget. Nothing is ever quite the way we want to be. We just settle for 'close enough'. Everything ends, in one way or another.
Maybe I'm just being pessimistic. Who knows? Who cares...
A certain feeling of... Rejection is what has been most prevalent the last months and half or so. Pretty much the whole time I've been looking for a job. Throw into that a personal event or two, and I feel downright terrible. Of course, this isn't anything new. It wouldn't bother me nearly so badly, not being able to find a job, if it weren't for the fact that I have bills I have to pay.
The more personal things are... well, personal. The folk involved in them know who they are, and they know what's going on. There's no reason to talk about it publicly, beyond maybe acknowledging that the things exist. Which to me pretty much ends this section of the post.
I feel... Like I'm broken. Like there's some piece of me missing and I can't function properly without it. Like there's a hole in my chest, and sometimes it gets difficult for me to breath. I need to find something to fill that void with. Be it work, or writing, or reading... Something just to keep me away from it, to hopefully let it go away on it's own. Let the problem fix itself.
Things change. People grow apart, forget. Nothing is ever quite the way we want to be. We just settle for 'close enough'. Everything ends, in one way or another.
Maybe I'm just being pessimistic. Who knows? Who cares...