as the turn of the worlds, part fourteen
Title: As the Turn of the Worlds; Book One: Objects in Space
Chapter Title: The Calm Before
Rating: High T/Low M
Characters/Pairings: Ensemble; Mai/Jet, Smellerbee/Longshot (est. relationship), Zuko/Katara (est. relationship), Toph/Haru, Sokka/Suki
Summary: Aang never woke up from the iceberg, and the world went on without him, and without the Avatar. Over the next three thousand years, technology advanced astronomically -- literally, the people of the overcrowded world taking to the stars, colonizing a whole new solar system with dozens of planets and hundreds of moons. Now, the Avatar is a barely-remembered myth, bending is regarded as a relic of a rightfully-dead past, and only two of the original four countries still exist: the Fire Nation, one of the most powerful forces in the Union of Allied Planets, and the Water Tribe, clinging to life on the Outer Rim, still fighting desperately for the dream of independence. The latest civil war ended seven years ago, in a landslide victory for the Alliance -- but that doesn't mean the fight for independence is over.
Book One: Objects in Space: Katara is a Companion working on Sihnon, and has been lucky enough to be picked by the Princess of the Fire Nation to attend to her surly brother, but there's strife in the family that spills over into her life: when she exposes the princess's plot to kill the Fire Lord, she finds herself in prison for conspiracy, and must call in a favor from an old friend, another Companion who travels the border with a band of thieves. Meanwhile, a man named Sokka is on the hunt for his long-lost sister, Prince Zuko is exiled for his sister's crime, and a man smuggles a large box onto a transport ship...
Chapter Summary: In which Suki makes a move, Mai and Jet continue to beat their heads against the Wall of Romantic Futility, Zuko and Katara are adorable, and the author enjoys her ships, yes she does.
Notes: I originally said there would be 22 chapters in this book, but I severely underestimated the chapter lengths. We're looking at seventeen chapters + prelude/postlude. In other words: we're staring down the climax of this book.
FFN // LJ // AO3
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(on freedom)
Katara bit her lip nervously -- as much as she had missed her icy home, she was afraid to return. She had left so suddenly, and for so long, and her father was... well, he wasn't going to be happy to hear that she had abandoned her roots and gone to Sihnon, especially not if he found out she was a Companion. Sokka already knew, and while he wasn't cheerful over it, he wasn't chewing her out (yet) and seemed too happy to have found her to worry about what she was doing before. He had told her he would explain it all to Father before they arrived, so he wouldn't be shocked over it, but she doubted he would take it any better hearing it from Sokka.
She was fussing, she knew, and fidgeting with the clothes she'd borrowed from Mai (she'd have to buy new clothes when she got a chance -- but when, and with what money?) and Suki would tell her she was being a worrywart and to stop, but Suki was asleep in one of the passenger dorms of the now-crowded ship and couldn't smack some sense into her.
Someone else found her, though, in the alcove off the dining room -- Zuko. "Hey," he said seriously, sitting on the seat opposite her. She smiled wanly.
"You don't have to be so formal," she chided. "I've told you that a thousand times."
He laughed a little at this, but she suspected it was insincere. He looked up at her with pleading eyes. "I really am sorry for this -- I shouldn't have," he ran a hand through his hair, "a lot of things, I shouldn't have... I'm sorry, that's what I'm trying to say."
"I meant it when I said it was all right," she said quietly. "My time on Sihnon was always going to be short," she added a little wistfully, and he looked at her curiously.
"What do you mean?"
She sighed. "It's... I always knew that Sihnon was a way station, somehow," she replied, biting her lip. "I always thought that fate was taking me in a different direction, that I wasn't really meant to be a Companion. I think that's one reason I did," she said sadly, "I was trying to sidestep my destiny. Now, I'm starting to think that's impossible."
Zuko shook his head, "It's not," he murmured. "I don't believe in destiny," he said firmly, looking at her. "Besides, if you weren't a Companion, I never would have -- " he started, but cut himself off before saying too much. She leaned forward and took his hand.
"I never said I regretted it," she said quietly. He stared at her hand for a long moment -- her skin dark and smooth, his pale and calloused, and she wanted, painfully, for him to forgive himself. She knew how hard he was on himself, how unfair, the impossibly high standard he held himself to, and she didn't like it -- Zuko saw only his own flaws, only his own mistakes. When he looked at himself, all he saw was a scar on his face and a host of missteps and bad memories. She wanted him to see what she saw: a proud, strong, fundamentally good man who was on his way to doing a lot of incredible things for the whole universe.
She just wished she knew how to convince him.
"Will you go back to the Companion's lifestyle," he asked, "when this is over?"
She hesitated -- part of her wanted to, but part of her thought that her time at the Companion House was a chapter now closed, a stepping-stone to another future. But that thought scared her; being a Companion was easy, and familiar -- could she really give that up for the unknown?
She looked into Zuko's searching gold eyes and thought that maybe, just maybe, she could. "I don't know," she replied, and he smiled shortly.
"Why did you..." he started, and then took a deep breath, "why did you really leave your home?" For some reason, it felt more intimate than even his previous question -- possibly because it was about her locked-up past, something he knew she kept hidden deep within, and for good reasons. Sharing that was more intimate.
"I..." she said, and she almost lied, but at the last moment, found herself telling the truth, "I'm a waterbender," she whispered. "When I was a child, Zhao attacked the Water Tribes because... he'd heard there was a bender among them, somewhere. I was so young, I didn't know -- it had never occurred to me that it might be dangerous. My mother, she... she knew. My dad didn't, and my brother... still doesn't, but she had -- she had a waterbending scroll that had been passed down in her family since the Age of Bending and she showed me a few of the moves, and she was so proud that her daughter was a..." She took a deep breath and swallowed hard, clutching Zuko's hand without really thinking.
"Zhao's men stormed our town, calling for the freak to come out -- " his hand squeezed hers tighter " -- and my mother, she was holding me and I was crying and she just said, I'll make it all okay, and then she went out to Zhao and -- just -- she told him that she was the bender. She died for me -- because I was -- I am -- unnatural," she choked, blinking back tears. "A freak."
"You're no freak," Zuko snapped, holding her hand tightly, "don't ever say that."
Trust Zuko to get angry at such a thing.
"And bending -- it isn't unnatural," he said, and moved to the seat beside her, running his free hand through her hair. "If it helps, my uncle and I are both benders," he said softly. She looked at him, vision blurry, and he nodded. "It runs in the royal family. I -- I've been trained. I can -- I don't know how waterbending works, but I can teach you some of the katas I know, it might -- if you want," he said hastily. She watched him carefully; for so long, her power had been anathema to her, but now with Zuko telling her that he had it too, and with the way Jet's crew hadn't even flinched, hadn't asked any questions, and with Toph showing off her bending, and the Avatar playing with air marbles... maybe she wasn't such a freak, after all.
Or if she was, then at least she was in good company.
"I'd like that," she replied, and kissed him hard.
--
"How do you plan to deal with Zhao?" Bee asked, and he wanted so badly to scowl, to lash out, to ask her how the hell he was supposed to know, but then -- that was why she was asking. Bee was the sort who demanded, who never took I don't know for an answer. Years ago, when the war was almost lost and he thought he was going to die in the dust and the rot of Serenity Valley, she had looked him in the face and asked him if he was really so weak -- and he'd gotten up and kept fighting because no, Bee, he wasn't that weak.
"Reavers," he replied, the first thing that popped into his head. He didn't have to look at her to know she was raising an eyebrow. "Stop that," he said, cutting her off before she could comment, "it's an actual idea. That Reaver ship is on us, isn't it?" he asked, and she sighed.
"Longshot says it seems like it," she answered curtly. Things between the couple had been... strained, to say the least, since Bee had vocally decided to die with him if need be.
"We can outfly a Reaver ship, can't we? If we go hard burn," he answered his own question, and leaned against the wall in the hallway they were in. "And Reavers hunt for sport -- they'll chase us if we run. Zhao's on our tail, so we bring the Reavers in as well -- they'll fight each other while we disappear into St. Albans."
"That's... cruel," Bee said slowly, and Jet shook his head.
"No, they'll meet before we even hit atmo, if we time it right," he replied, clicking his tongue. "They'll face each other in the air. Zhao's ship will probably win, but they'll take heavy casualties and have to land, so we can meet him with force on foot, where he won't have his big guns. We, however, have Toph, and whatever weapons the Water Tribe has -- it's as even a match as we can hope for. And the best part is," he added, grinning, "it's probably going to happen whether we do shit about it or not."
"I suppose," Bee muttered, "and it is better than risking the Reavers boarding us."
"Yeah, so you can go make up with your husband," he snapped, and she glared at him, unamused. When the two of them were fighting (which wasn't often), the whole ship felt off, and there was so much tension. Before she had a chance to retort, he stalked away, and almost ran into Mai. "Ambassador, good to see you out of hiding," he said jovially, and she rolled her eyes.
"I need water for tea," she replied. "For some reason, the Avatar is panicking and either couldn't find Katara or suddenly went insane, because he came to me for guidance."
"Has he taken any blows to the head lately?" Jet asked, acting like he was seriously contemplating the possibility. Mai scowled.
"You weren't supposed to agree with me."
"No, no, we might be on to something here," he said innocently. "Maybe if we hit him again, he'll suddenly regain the power of proper speech."
"You're an asshole," she growled.
"And you're a whore, I think we're even."
"You know, I was wondering if you'd suddenly grown a civil tongue, it's been a while since you called me that."
"See, that's the Mai I know," he replied, grinning hugely. "Since when do you deign to curse?"
"You've corrupted me, what can I say?" she sighed, as she filled her tea kettle with water from the tap. He followed her back to her shuttle. "Do you want tea?"
"Maybe," he answered, but she stopped at the threshold.
"What is it?" she asked seriously. "You're agitated."
Just like Mai -- blunt, to the point, and strikingly intuitive. "Zhao's got a whole lotta men on our tail, plus Reavers," he said, and she nodded.
"I've got the morphine -- I'll have to add more for our new fugitives."
"That's not it," he replied sincerely. "I -- ladies have no place in war," he said, changing tack smoothly from what he was going to say -- wanted to say (I don't want you to be in danger here). "You and Katara, might be best if you stay on the ship."
"Oh?" she challenged, so calm in the face of a very real threat. "And you think that you won't need a waterbender or an expert knife thrower? You have so many people and so many options that you can afford to let us sit this one out?"
"That's not what I -- " he started, and Mai stepped forward, eye-to-eye with him.
"Then what did you mean?" she asked softly, and he stared straight into her eyes. They were almost golden, he thought, like Iroh's and Zuko's -- one of these days, he'd have to figure out her story, where she came from and why she'd become a Companion and why she'd joined up with him. One of these days.
"I just think it's better if you stay out of this," he replied, and something in her eyes shifted.
"And I think it's better if we fight," she said coldly, and then walked away without a sound. Jet fell against the wall, sighing.
--
"Knock knock," Suki said, and opened the door. Sokka was sprawled out on the bed, wide awake, fidgeting with one of those little stress balls that Ty Lee kept trying to get her to use. "Couldn't sleep either?"
"No," he replied, sitting up. "Nerves."
"How long has it been since you've been home?" she asked, sitting on the bed next to him. She was nervous, too, for a multitude of reasons -- at this moment, though, it was because of -- certain things. Sokka-related things. But now that she was here, she couldn't stop thinking about how dumb this was, how she had a million other things to do, how he was probably going to shove her away and scream in horror. She just -- he was so sweet, and funny, and so what if he was a bundle of awkwardness? It was cute. She liked Sokka, a little too much for her own good.
"A few years. My Dad and I... we had a fight," he said, and then ran a hand through his hair. "Well, you were there when I was talking to Katara about it. He thought I was giving up the war -- and he was right! He just... doesn't get it," he added mournfully. "You'll understand when you get there."
"Not worried at all about Zhao?" she asked lightly, trying not to burst out into hysterical laughter (that would surely clue him in to the less-than-innocent reason she was here). Sokka bit his lip.
"Some," he replied soberly. "He and I... I'm probably going to enjoy this fight a little too much," he said, quirking a little smile at her that made her heart flutter. "He killed my mother," he whispered then, and she felt sick for -- all of this. What was she doing, trying to get laid? He was about to face his mother's murderer; he didn't need to be distracted by her and her stupid feelings!
"I'm sorry," she muttered, for so many things she wouldn't ever say. He sighed.
"It's all right," he said, "it... it was a long time ago."
"Still," she said softly, "for what it's worth, I am sorry."
He looked at her, eyes calculating. "You supported unification, didn't you? Sihnon was a major supporter of the Alliance."
"I'm not from Sihnon," she replied, shaking her head. "I come from Shadow, or, well, I did back when it was still a green rock." Her home planet still broke her heart when she thought about it -- it had been beautiful, before the war, but the fighting had destroyed its delicate ecosystem and rendered the whole planet unlivable, a black rock, a wasteland that not even Reavers dared to touch. "I went to Sihnon because I didn't have anywhere else to go."
"You're an Independent?" he asked, sounding surprised, and she sighed.
"I was," she said, glancing at him, "now I'm just Suki."
"I like just Suki," he said quietly, smiling. Her heart leaped into her throat.
"Well, I should hope so," she replied, forcing herself to laugh like she wasn't in full-on panic mode. "I'm the only Suki you've got. Or, well, I've got -- I mean, I've got me but you -- we're -- um, you've got me as a -- " she spluttered, but he cut her off with a kiss.
--
Aang was miserable, and he really thought it was dumb that he was because Katara was over a decade older than him, and he shouldn't be surprised to see her kissing another man, and well, she had a life that didn't revolve around him, didn't she?
"Here," Mai said, handing him a cup of piping tea. He was getting better at the language -- Iroh's instruction had done wonders for him. Not that Katara wasn't helping him a lot -- because she was -- but Iroh was a natural teacher and he understood the things that Aang remembered better than Katara. For instance, she'd tried to show him a -- what did she call it? -- computer, and he still didn't know what it was. Iroh showed him spirit and fire and bending, things that Aang knew.
Iroh made him feel like his life hadn't changed as much as he thought it had.
He'd been to the spirit world several times since he'd woken up here, and he'd had long conversations with Roku that had taught him so much more than he'd ever wanted to know. It wasn't so empty there as it had been -- Roku (and Iroh, in the real world) said that the spirits were waking up, just like him, just like the Avatar Spirit, the world spirit. With their awakening, the worlds were shifting as well, aligning with their own souls (did each world have an Avatar, he wondered, but neither knew) and bending was rising within people.
It was, Aang realized, healing. His absence had cut deep grooves into the spirit world, and without the Avatar, it had begun to collapse. Now, it was repairing itself and reconnecting with reality -- when he'd first gone there, it had been the ruins of the world he'd left behind; now, he could bounce between planets to find new, different things lurking behind each corner. The spirit world was growing and expanding to fit the real world.
It gave him hope -- the world was healing, and so could he. And even if Katara wasn't with him (which he'd never expected her to be, it just hurt to know that she never would) she was still there for him and she still cared and he still wasn't alone.
The first words she had ever said to him, when he'd woken up in the cargo bay scared and cold and disoriented, now rang familiar in his ears -- at the time, they'd been gibberish, but now he knew what she'd been saying so fervently, so desperate for him to know, to understand: you're not alone, it's all right, you're not alone.
It was true then as it was now -- he wasn't alone.
He figured he'd be all right, as long as he could always know that.
--
"Augh," Toph cried, rolling over and trying to sleep, "why is everyone having sex?"
Chapter Title: The Calm Before
Rating: High T/Low M
Characters/Pairings: Ensemble; Mai/Jet, Smellerbee/Longshot (est. relationship), Zuko/Katara (est. relationship), Toph/Haru, Sokka/Suki
Summary: Aang never woke up from the iceberg, and the world went on without him, and without the Avatar. Over the next three thousand years, technology advanced astronomically -- literally, the people of the overcrowded world taking to the stars, colonizing a whole new solar system with dozens of planets and hundreds of moons. Now, the Avatar is a barely-remembered myth, bending is regarded as a relic of a rightfully-dead past, and only two of the original four countries still exist: the Fire Nation, one of the most powerful forces in the Union of Allied Planets, and the Water Tribe, clinging to life on the Outer Rim, still fighting desperately for the dream of independence. The latest civil war ended seven years ago, in a landslide victory for the Alliance -- but that doesn't mean the fight for independence is over.
Book One: Objects in Space: Katara is a Companion working on Sihnon, and has been lucky enough to be picked by the Princess of the Fire Nation to attend to her surly brother, but there's strife in the family that spills over into her life: when she exposes the princess's plot to kill the Fire Lord, she finds herself in prison for conspiracy, and must call in a favor from an old friend, another Companion who travels the border with a band of thieves. Meanwhile, a man named Sokka is on the hunt for his long-lost sister, Prince Zuko is exiled for his sister's crime, and a man smuggles a large box onto a transport ship...
Chapter Summary: In which Suki makes a move, Mai and Jet continue to beat their heads against the Wall of Romantic Futility, Zuko and Katara are adorable, and the author enjoys her ships, yes she does.
Notes: I originally said there would be 22 chapters in this book, but I severely underestimated the chapter lengths. We're looking at seventeen chapters + prelude/postlude. In other words: we're staring down the climax of this book.
FFN // LJ // AO3
|< first // << back // here \\ next >> \\ last>|
(on freedom)
Katara bit her lip nervously -- as much as she had missed her icy home, she was afraid to return. She had left so suddenly, and for so long, and her father was... well, he wasn't going to be happy to hear that she had abandoned her roots and gone to Sihnon, especially not if he found out she was a Companion. Sokka already knew, and while he wasn't cheerful over it, he wasn't chewing her out (yet) and seemed too happy to have found her to worry about what she was doing before. He had told her he would explain it all to Father before they arrived, so he wouldn't be shocked over it, but she doubted he would take it any better hearing it from Sokka.
She was fussing, she knew, and fidgeting with the clothes she'd borrowed from Mai (she'd have to buy new clothes when she got a chance -- but when, and with what money?) and Suki would tell her she was being a worrywart and to stop, but Suki was asleep in one of the passenger dorms of the now-crowded ship and couldn't smack some sense into her.
Someone else found her, though, in the alcove off the dining room -- Zuko. "Hey," he said seriously, sitting on the seat opposite her. She smiled wanly.
"You don't have to be so formal," she chided. "I've told you that a thousand times."
He laughed a little at this, but she suspected it was insincere. He looked up at her with pleading eyes. "I really am sorry for this -- I shouldn't have," he ran a hand through his hair, "a lot of things, I shouldn't have... I'm sorry, that's what I'm trying to say."
"I meant it when I said it was all right," she said quietly. "My time on Sihnon was always going to be short," she added a little wistfully, and he looked at her curiously.
"What do you mean?"
She sighed. "It's... I always knew that Sihnon was a way station, somehow," she replied, biting her lip. "I always thought that fate was taking me in a different direction, that I wasn't really meant to be a Companion. I think that's one reason I did," she said sadly, "I was trying to sidestep my destiny. Now, I'm starting to think that's impossible."
Zuko shook his head, "It's not," he murmured. "I don't believe in destiny," he said firmly, looking at her. "Besides, if you weren't a Companion, I never would have -- " he started, but cut himself off before saying too much. She leaned forward and took his hand.
"I never said I regretted it," she said quietly. He stared at her hand for a long moment -- her skin dark and smooth, his pale and calloused, and she wanted, painfully, for him to forgive himself. She knew how hard he was on himself, how unfair, the impossibly high standard he held himself to, and she didn't like it -- Zuko saw only his own flaws, only his own mistakes. When he looked at himself, all he saw was a scar on his face and a host of missteps and bad memories. She wanted him to see what she saw: a proud, strong, fundamentally good man who was on his way to doing a lot of incredible things for the whole universe.
She just wished she knew how to convince him.
"Will you go back to the Companion's lifestyle," he asked, "when this is over?"
She hesitated -- part of her wanted to, but part of her thought that her time at the Companion House was a chapter now closed, a stepping-stone to another future. But that thought scared her; being a Companion was easy, and familiar -- could she really give that up for the unknown?
She looked into Zuko's searching gold eyes and thought that maybe, just maybe, she could. "I don't know," she replied, and he smiled shortly.
"Why did you..." he started, and then took a deep breath, "why did you really leave your home?" For some reason, it felt more intimate than even his previous question -- possibly because it was about her locked-up past, something he knew she kept hidden deep within, and for good reasons. Sharing that was more intimate.
"I..." she said, and she almost lied, but at the last moment, found herself telling the truth, "I'm a waterbender," she whispered. "When I was a child, Zhao attacked the Water Tribes because... he'd heard there was a bender among them, somewhere. I was so young, I didn't know -- it had never occurred to me that it might be dangerous. My mother, she... she knew. My dad didn't, and my brother... still doesn't, but she had -- she had a waterbending scroll that had been passed down in her family since the Age of Bending and she showed me a few of the moves, and she was so proud that her daughter was a..." She took a deep breath and swallowed hard, clutching Zuko's hand without really thinking.
"Zhao's men stormed our town, calling for the freak to come out -- " his hand squeezed hers tighter " -- and my mother, she was holding me and I was crying and she just said, I'll make it all okay, and then she went out to Zhao and -- just -- she told him that she was the bender. She died for me -- because I was -- I am -- unnatural," she choked, blinking back tears. "A freak."
"You're no freak," Zuko snapped, holding her hand tightly, "don't ever say that."
Trust Zuko to get angry at such a thing.
"And bending -- it isn't unnatural," he said, and moved to the seat beside her, running his free hand through her hair. "If it helps, my uncle and I are both benders," he said softly. She looked at him, vision blurry, and he nodded. "It runs in the royal family. I -- I've been trained. I can -- I don't know how waterbending works, but I can teach you some of the katas I know, it might -- if you want," he said hastily. She watched him carefully; for so long, her power had been anathema to her, but now with Zuko telling her that he had it too, and with the way Jet's crew hadn't even flinched, hadn't asked any questions, and with Toph showing off her bending, and the Avatar playing with air marbles... maybe she wasn't such a freak, after all.
Or if she was, then at least she was in good company.
"I'd like that," she replied, and kissed him hard.
--
"How do you plan to deal with Zhao?" Bee asked, and he wanted so badly to scowl, to lash out, to ask her how the hell he was supposed to know, but then -- that was why she was asking. Bee was the sort who demanded, who never took I don't know for an answer. Years ago, when the war was almost lost and he thought he was going to die in the dust and the rot of Serenity Valley, she had looked him in the face and asked him if he was really so weak -- and he'd gotten up and kept fighting because no, Bee, he wasn't that weak.
"Reavers," he replied, the first thing that popped into his head. He didn't have to look at her to know she was raising an eyebrow. "Stop that," he said, cutting her off before she could comment, "it's an actual idea. That Reaver ship is on us, isn't it?" he asked, and she sighed.
"Longshot says it seems like it," she answered curtly. Things between the couple had been... strained, to say the least, since Bee had vocally decided to die with him if need be.
"We can outfly a Reaver ship, can't we? If we go hard burn," he answered his own question, and leaned against the wall in the hallway they were in. "And Reavers hunt for sport -- they'll chase us if we run. Zhao's on our tail, so we bring the Reavers in as well -- they'll fight each other while we disappear into St. Albans."
"That's... cruel," Bee said slowly, and Jet shook his head.
"No, they'll meet before we even hit atmo, if we time it right," he replied, clicking his tongue. "They'll face each other in the air. Zhao's ship will probably win, but they'll take heavy casualties and have to land, so we can meet him with force on foot, where he won't have his big guns. We, however, have Toph, and whatever weapons the Water Tribe has -- it's as even a match as we can hope for. And the best part is," he added, grinning, "it's probably going to happen whether we do shit about it or not."
"I suppose," Bee muttered, "and it is better than risking the Reavers boarding us."
"Yeah, so you can go make up with your husband," he snapped, and she glared at him, unamused. When the two of them were fighting (which wasn't often), the whole ship felt off, and there was so much tension. Before she had a chance to retort, he stalked away, and almost ran into Mai. "Ambassador, good to see you out of hiding," he said jovially, and she rolled her eyes.
"I need water for tea," she replied. "For some reason, the Avatar is panicking and either couldn't find Katara or suddenly went insane, because he came to me for guidance."
"Has he taken any blows to the head lately?" Jet asked, acting like he was seriously contemplating the possibility. Mai scowled.
"You weren't supposed to agree with me."
"No, no, we might be on to something here," he said innocently. "Maybe if we hit him again, he'll suddenly regain the power of proper speech."
"You're an asshole," she growled.
"And you're a whore, I think we're even."
"You know, I was wondering if you'd suddenly grown a civil tongue, it's been a while since you called me that."
"See, that's the Mai I know," he replied, grinning hugely. "Since when do you deign to curse?"
"You've corrupted me, what can I say?" she sighed, as she filled her tea kettle with water from the tap. He followed her back to her shuttle. "Do you want tea?"
"Maybe," he answered, but she stopped at the threshold.
"What is it?" she asked seriously. "You're agitated."
Just like Mai -- blunt, to the point, and strikingly intuitive. "Zhao's got a whole lotta men on our tail, plus Reavers," he said, and she nodded.
"I've got the morphine -- I'll have to add more for our new fugitives."
"That's not it," he replied sincerely. "I -- ladies have no place in war," he said, changing tack smoothly from what he was going to say -- wanted to say (I don't want you to be in danger here). "You and Katara, might be best if you stay on the ship."
"Oh?" she challenged, so calm in the face of a very real threat. "And you think that you won't need a waterbender or an expert knife thrower? You have so many people and so many options that you can afford to let us sit this one out?"
"That's not what I -- " he started, and Mai stepped forward, eye-to-eye with him.
"Then what did you mean?" she asked softly, and he stared straight into her eyes. They were almost golden, he thought, like Iroh's and Zuko's -- one of these days, he'd have to figure out her story, where she came from and why she'd become a Companion and why she'd joined up with him. One of these days.
"I just think it's better if you stay out of this," he replied, and something in her eyes shifted.
"And I think it's better if we fight," she said coldly, and then walked away without a sound. Jet fell against the wall, sighing.
--
"Knock knock," Suki said, and opened the door. Sokka was sprawled out on the bed, wide awake, fidgeting with one of those little stress balls that Ty Lee kept trying to get her to use. "Couldn't sleep either?"
"No," he replied, sitting up. "Nerves."
"How long has it been since you've been home?" she asked, sitting on the bed next to him. She was nervous, too, for a multitude of reasons -- at this moment, though, it was because of -- certain things. Sokka-related things. But now that she was here, she couldn't stop thinking about how dumb this was, how she had a million other things to do, how he was probably going to shove her away and scream in horror. She just -- he was so sweet, and funny, and so what if he was a bundle of awkwardness? It was cute. She liked Sokka, a little too much for her own good.
"A few years. My Dad and I... we had a fight," he said, and then ran a hand through his hair. "Well, you were there when I was talking to Katara about it. He thought I was giving up the war -- and he was right! He just... doesn't get it," he added mournfully. "You'll understand when you get there."
"Not worried at all about Zhao?" she asked lightly, trying not to burst out into hysterical laughter (that would surely clue him in to the less-than-innocent reason she was here). Sokka bit his lip.
"Some," he replied soberly. "He and I... I'm probably going to enjoy this fight a little too much," he said, quirking a little smile at her that made her heart flutter. "He killed my mother," he whispered then, and she felt sick for -- all of this. What was she doing, trying to get laid? He was about to face his mother's murderer; he didn't need to be distracted by her and her stupid feelings!
"I'm sorry," she muttered, for so many things she wouldn't ever say. He sighed.
"It's all right," he said, "it... it was a long time ago."
"Still," she said softly, "for what it's worth, I am sorry."
He looked at her, eyes calculating. "You supported unification, didn't you? Sihnon was a major supporter of the Alliance."
"I'm not from Sihnon," she replied, shaking her head. "I come from Shadow, or, well, I did back when it was still a green rock." Her home planet still broke her heart when she thought about it -- it had been beautiful, before the war, but the fighting had destroyed its delicate ecosystem and rendered the whole planet unlivable, a black rock, a wasteland that not even Reavers dared to touch. "I went to Sihnon because I didn't have anywhere else to go."
"You're an Independent?" he asked, sounding surprised, and she sighed.
"I was," she said, glancing at him, "now I'm just Suki."
"I like just Suki," he said quietly, smiling. Her heart leaped into her throat.
"Well, I should hope so," she replied, forcing herself to laugh like she wasn't in full-on panic mode. "I'm the only Suki you've got. Or, well, I've got -- I mean, I've got me but you -- we're -- um, you've got me as a -- " she spluttered, but he cut her off with a kiss.
--
Aang was miserable, and he really thought it was dumb that he was because Katara was over a decade older than him, and he shouldn't be surprised to see her kissing another man, and well, she had a life that didn't revolve around him, didn't she?
"Here," Mai said, handing him a cup of piping tea. He was getting better at the language -- Iroh's instruction had done wonders for him. Not that Katara wasn't helping him a lot -- because she was -- but Iroh was a natural teacher and he understood the things that Aang remembered better than Katara. For instance, she'd tried to show him a -- what did she call it? -- computer, and he still didn't know what it was. Iroh showed him spirit and fire and bending, things that Aang knew.
Iroh made him feel like his life hadn't changed as much as he thought it had.
He'd been to the spirit world several times since he'd woken up here, and he'd had long conversations with Roku that had taught him so much more than he'd ever wanted to know. It wasn't so empty there as it had been -- Roku (and Iroh, in the real world) said that the spirits were waking up, just like him, just like the Avatar Spirit, the world spirit. With their awakening, the worlds were shifting as well, aligning with their own souls (did each world have an Avatar, he wondered, but neither knew) and bending was rising within people.
It was, Aang realized, healing. His absence had cut deep grooves into the spirit world, and without the Avatar, it had begun to collapse. Now, it was repairing itself and reconnecting with reality -- when he'd first gone there, it had been the ruins of the world he'd left behind; now, he could bounce between planets to find new, different things lurking behind each corner. The spirit world was growing and expanding to fit the real world.
It gave him hope -- the world was healing, and so could he. And even if Katara wasn't with him (which he'd never expected her to be, it just hurt to know that she never would) she was still there for him and she still cared and he still wasn't alone.
The first words she had ever said to him, when he'd woken up in the cargo bay scared and cold and disoriented, now rang familiar in his ears -- at the time, they'd been gibberish, but now he knew what she'd been saying so fervently, so desperate for him to know, to understand: you're not alone, it's all right, you're not alone.
It was true then as it was now -- he wasn't alone.
He figured he'd be all right, as long as he could always know that.
--
"Augh," Toph cried, rolling over and trying to sleep, "why is everyone having sex?"