Rebuilding 12/12
Rebuilding
McRaider
Summary: They were all so angry at Jack, that none of them took the time to notice the subtle differences in his personality, how he reacted to things, and most of all how he couldn’t seem to look at any of them for longer than a few seconds without looking away.
Author’s Note: So I wasn't going to start posting this orginally until after Then there were Three, but I decided since I'm not sure of it's length yet, that would start posting and go from there (not something I normally do). We’ve all written the post-Last of the Time Lords story, but I feel like Jack gets lost somewhere in most of those. So, this is my take. Enjoy.
Disclaimer: I have my own characters, I don’t feel the need to own these ones (that being said…if I did own it, Jack and Ianto naked…LOTS MORE!)
Rated: R for language (And Gwen Bashing, you have been warned)
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
It was a nightmare, Ianto was positive things couldn’t get any worse. He felt like his heart had been torn from his chest, Toshiko and Owen were gone, and for the past three nights, Jack hadn’t gone home with him, wouldn’t speak to him, hadn’t even touched him. Ianto felt like he’d lost everything. It hurt.
He’d been sitting quietly in his flat, some movie playing in the background, a photo album of his friends-they weren’t just teammates, they’d been his friends and trusted confidants-was propped open on his lap, but he wasn’t really even looking at it, his eyes focused just past one of the pictures, lost in a sea of memories.
A knock at the door startled Ianto from his thoughts. He glanced down at his watch-it was just past one in the morning, who would come banging on his door this late. Sighing, he flipped the album closed, unfolded the leg he’d had tucked under him and made his way towards the door-grimacing slightly at the familiar tingle of blood flow returning to his long limbs.
Opening the door, Ianto was surprised to see Jack standing there, his RAF coat was gone, replaced by jeans and a hooded sweatshirt. His hair was damp, as if he’d just taken a shower and in his hands he held take away. He shrugged silently and held out the peace offering to his lover. “You were there through my grieving process, and it took me this long to realize that I wasn’t the only one suffering-you are too. It only seems fair that I be here for you too.”
Ianto let his lover in, closing and locking the door behind him before he watched Jack slip off his shoes and set their food down on the table. “In all fairness, you’ve got a lot more on your mind-buried alive an’ all…” Ianto didn’t mention Gray, he was still torn on who and what to blame.
“I have this trance that I slip into, and after the first dozen or so deaths, I was able to reach a catatonic stage where I wasn’t really aware of anything beyond that. I’ve lived through worse, but you’ve seen too much death.”
“Jack-“ Ianto began shaking his head, he wasn’t doing this now. He wasn’t going to have a break down, he wouldn’t allow it.
“Ianto, you let me cry, you let me scream and yell and everything-let me do the same for you.”
“No.” Ianto stated as he walked in the kitchen and started some coffee.
Jack walked into the entrance way and stared hard for a moment before he spoke again, “Why?”
“Because if I let go now-if I let you comfort me…” Ianto shook his head. “I don’t know if I can pull myself back together, and someone has to keep this stupid business running.”
Jack stepped forward without hesitation, wrapping his arms around his lover-against Ianto’s will and held him, cupping his neck, whispering soothing words in his ear. “You listen to me Ianto Jones; you helped me through what was possibly the worst part of my immortal life. I’ll be damned if I’m going to stand by and watch you run yourself into the ground all because you don’t want us to see you weak. It’s okay to be weak sometimes Ianto.”
“I’m always weak-“
“Bullocks!” Jack countered pulling away. “Ianto Jones, Torchwood Employee, dragging his girl friend out of the horrors in Torchwood One, you kept her living for the following months, faced Cannibals, Owen and so much else. You aren’t weak-Ianto sometimes you’re stronger than me.”
Ianto buried his face in Jack’s shoulder, and for the next several minutes, he allowed the grief to flow. Jack could tell he was still holding back, but it was something at least. It was a long road-the rebuilding of morale after pain, loss and suffering, but Jack had discovered that’s what true friendship, and true love was-being there when everyone else walked away. He vowed as he held his lover close, that he’d do the same for Ianto whenever the younger man needed him.
“You won’t leave again?”
Jack pulled away slightly, raising Ianto’s chin to meet Jack’s eyes. “If I ever leave you again it’ll be because the world is about to end and my leaving may be the only thing that will save you. And I promise, if it comes to that, I will come back.”
Ianto nodded as he allowed Jack to hold him, suddenly thankful to have the support he needed. He hated feeling weak, he felt he’d felt weak most of his life, but this time he wanted to be strong in honor of Tosh and Owen.
That night they shared everything, their feelings of Tosh and Owen, their feelings for one another, their feelings for Gwen. They talked for hours, Jack didn’t share everything about his time on the Valiant, but in that evening he shared more about it than Ianto had been prepared for. He spoke about his time underground, he spoke of how sad he was his brother was still just a lost little boy searching for his big brother.
Ianto spoke about his family, the death of his father shortly after he’d turned twenty-one. His sister Ria and her two daughters, Carys and Arwyn, both of whom had lost their own father less than six months ago. He discussed his mother’s battle with schizophrenia since he was sixteen and how his younger sister was on a similar path of destruction, refusing to take medication or seeking help. Ianto shared that he’d seen Toshiko as a sister, and how he’d always wished he could have had Tosh and his sister Ria instead of his younger sister. He explained that despite himself, he’d loved Owen like a brother and was truly going to miss that force around all the time.
Wounds had begun to heal, and while there was history of pain, the two men would pull through it just fine…eventually.
The End