fall into my place
pairing:girl!suho/girl!chen, side!chanyeol/girl!kyungsoo
rating:pg13
length:8096
warnings: implied anxiety
summary:Jungda’s used to constantly starting over, but her last year of high school is going to be different. She’s sure of it.
a/n: i forgot to crosspost, originally written for NabiSonyeo here. title from toro y moi’s “my touch”.
*tao’s gender is not specified here, and that is why ‘they’ is used for their pronouns.*
name reference:
-jungda is jongdae
-joonmi is joonmyun
-kyungsoon is kyungsoo
-sehee is sehun
There’s a way to deal with this, Jungda thinks. She isn’t exactly sure how exactly, but she's not about to let this ruin her day. She’s in the girl’s restroom of her new high school, a giant splotch of fish sauce is covering her new blouse. Jungda thinks about crying when she catches sight of herself in the imposing mirrors.
It's her first day of school. One of dozens over the past few years. She had come in that morning, determined to change things. Jungda is used to starting over.
Her mother is afraid of stagnation, but it seems she's forgotten that Jungda is still dependent on her.
She has never complained, not once. Jungda didn't throw a tantrum when she had to leave her childhood best friend, Jaehwan, the first time they moved. Jungda didn't even cry when she had to move a week before opening night of the musical she had slaved over. Not even when she knew that she wouldn't get to perform on stage, that was move number three. Jungda has always been a good girl. If she thinks about it, she's much more of an adult than she should have to be.
She huffs, taking a wet paper towel, she begins to blot her shirt. She's more upset by the fact that she'd just bought it. Her part time job sucks, and this is the first thing she’s ever bought with her paycheck.
When she's finished, now a faded brown spot is left, Jungda re-braids her hair.
"Are you alright?" A girl says when she pushes into the restroom. She's the same height as Jungda, and her hair falls around her shoulders in perfect light brown ringlets. Her eyes are enormous,captivating, and her dark eyelashes only serve to frame them better. All in all, she's really attractive in a soft sort of way.
"Yeah," Jungda says much too quietly. Her shyness is a bad habit she's picked up recently. Her last school had cracked her resolve much too easily. But that seems to happen when your mom makes you go to a school where most of the students come from money, and you don’t.
"If you use dish soap on that when you get home,” The other girls says, busying herself with fixing her hair, “it'll help take the stain out."
She smiles slightly, full pink lips turning into a heart shape.
Jungda's heart stutters a tiny bit.
She's such a sucker for cute girls. Her ultimate weakness.
"Thanks," Jungda isn't able to meet her gaze. The girl's smile gets bigger. "I'm Kyungsoon by the way. You must be new, right?"
Jungda nods and manages to whisper her name, a bad introduction. That seems to be enough for Kyungsoon, because she ends up dragging Jungda back out to the lunchroom. She doesn't talk nearly as much as Jungda had expected, and Kyungsoon also doesn't force Jungda to speak.
It's a real relief.
They enter the crowded lunchroom; Jungda is led to a round table near one of the windows. There are two people already sitting there. A guy wearing a dress code violating snapback waves enthusiastically when they approach. Kyungsoon audibly tsks.
"You're gonna get detention again Chanyeol," She says ripping the snapback off of him. She tucks the black hat safely away in the backpack on the floor. She gestures for Jungda to sit next to her. The guy seems like a giant, even from where they're sitting, knees hitting the underside of the table. He runs a hand through reddish brown hair, but it flops back into place. He reminds Jungda of one of the elves from Lord of the Rings.
"I'm Chanyeol by the way," he immediately introduces himself, "Kyungsoon's boyfriend."
Kyungsoon rolls her eyes, "Your mom says if you get detention one more time, you won't be allowed to date until you're fifty."
She ignores Chanyeol's protests and turns to the other person quietly eating their lunch.
"This is Tao," Kyungsoon gestures to them. They're delicate, this Tao person. Glossy black hair pulled back at the nape to display shaved sides, and a single stud in one ear. They push up their glasses up when they smile, they have a kittenish smile, large hands and long fingers.
"Hi," their voice comes out softly, "Nice to meet you--"
"Jungda," she replies a little more confidently than before. They smile again, and everyone falls into quiet conversation. A complete contrast from the chaos around them.
"Is today your first day?" Tao asks.
"Yes," Jungda replies around a bite of her apple, "have you, um--Have you always gone to school here?"
"Yes, I have, but listen, you'll make friends easily. It's such a big school it's easy to find your niche, and it seems you're gonna fit in with us anyway," Tao says winking. They seem to be able to sense Jungda’s anxiety.
Jungda is feeling a lot better, she's going to be a lot happier than she has been in a long, long time. It’s called optimism, and she’s throwing everything into it. She smiles when Tao offers her some of their lunch. She’d decided to try her best to make this her year after all.
Kyungsoon turns out to have the same chemistry class as Jungda, because they end up walking together.
"So before we go in," she says when they reach the classroom, "the teacher is really loud. But at least he stays on track. A lot of the kids don't care, so avoid sitting in the back. Some guys sit back there and they're gross. Um--" She taps the side of her cheek thoughtfully, "Oh! If you need help with anything," she smiles," don't hesitate to ask, okay?"
Jungda expresses gratitude, but she finds that Kyungsoon seems to have forgotten one thing.
Or more like, one person.
A very important person actually.
"Hi," a girl says as soon as Jungda sits down. She looks up and is met with brown almost black eyes, and a pretty glossy pink smile. Her hair is tied up in a neat ponytail, tendrils carefully arranged to frame her face, and Jungda has never seen such perfect bangs.
She's what dreams are made of, the perfect Sandy, but Jungda is probably still suffering the after effects of watching Grease one too many times over the past month.
"You must be Kim Jungda, the new transfer student, I'm Kim Joonmi. The student council president."
"You---know who I--"
"Of course!" She says brightly, clasping her hands together, "It's my job to make you feel welcome,” Joonmi continues. She’s perky, almost too much, but Jungda is quickly saved when Kyungsoon sidles up next to her.
“Joonmi, please, tone it down at least two notches,” Kyungsoon says softly, “You’re overwhelming her.”
“Oh,” Joonmi says, mouth turning into a perfect little ‘O’. She immediately takes the tip of her ponytail and sticks it into her mouth. “I didn’t mean to--”
“It’s alright,” Jungda says quietly, “It’s nice to meet you.”
The full faced eye crinkling smile is enough to make Jungda blush, and she can’t help the smile she gives in return.
It’s hard to focus on chemical formulas when Joonmi ends up sitting next to Jungda. Kyungsoon is on her other side, but Jungda tries to focus.
“If you ever need help,” Joonmi whispers after class, “I can help you.”
Jungda nods, “Thanks.”
She watches Joonmi walk out of class, her perfect ponytail swishing back and forth.
Jungda is piling her books into her messenger bag after class; she has a lot of catching up to do, because it seems that her old school was no where near as tough as this one. It’s funny she thinks, because of how much the students played it up.
“Hey,” Tao says in greeting, accidentally startling her. They tower over her too, all long limbs.
“Oh,” Jungda turns around, “hi.”
“Do you want to go home together?” Tao leans against the locker next to her, pushing hair behind their ear.
“Do you walk home or ride the bus?” Jungda asks, slamming her locker closed, “I usually walk home. We live in an apartment complex near by.”
“I actually saw you walking here today,” Tao laughs shyly, “I ride my bike to school.”
“Is that okay then?” Jungda doesn’t want to inconvenience Tao, “I mean--”
“It’s alright,” Tao’s smile is meant to be reassuring, “I don’t mind.”
Tao, it turns out, lives a block a little further down from Jungda. They chatter happily about small things, and Jungda’s never had this before. She feels like she’s been missing out. Tao’s also a lot brighter and louder, maybe it was initial shyness.
“Do you know Joonmi?” She decides to ask on whim. She had seen the other girl in passing after class. Caught her eye a few times, blushed at the smile sent her way.
"Kim Joonmi?" Tao pauses, "Of course. Everyone does, and she usually eats lunch with us too. She’s been friends with Kyungsoon since they were really little, something like that."
"Oh yeah?" Jungda remembers how Kyungsoon had come to her rescue earlier, “I didn’t see her at lunch though..”
Jungda would have noticed her then.
"Yeah, she sometimes has student council meetings, so she’s missing a lot," Tao answers her question without seeming suspicious, they’ve stopped rolling along their bike at this point. There are silver streamers at the end, but instead of making their bike look like a child’s, it actually looks cool. The handlebars also seem worn down, a bicycle loved.
"Ah," She chews on her bottom lip, "she must be popular."
Tao cocks their head to the side, thinking it seems. They nod. “Yeah...but--” they pause, thinking, “Joonmi is the type of person who doesn’t care about those things.”
Jungda ingests the information, and she tightens the hold on the strap of her backpack. She doesn’t really know where her curiosity for Joonmi is coming from, but she can’t help it. They’re in front of her building, the soon to be familiar face of the gloomy building looking down at her. She waves to Tao, thanking them over and over again for walking home with her. Tao laughs, lighter and louder than she’d expected.
“I’m just being a friend,” they say as they hop onto their bike and ride off, waving. Silver streamers glinting in the sun. Jungda warms at the sentiment. She’s practically bouncing when she disappears into the old building.
Home is quiet, small. Jungda is used to this kind of setting. A rarely home mom, and a quiet room. The only thing that changes is her age, and the exact home. There are still boxes in the kitchen, and she kicks one over to the side with a socked foot. She finds the one she's looking for, her mom's neat script spelling out kitchen, makes her find easy. She pulls out a pan, and opens the nearly empty fridge. She fries two slices of ham, pouring two eggs over it, stomach rumbling with the sizzle. She takes her makeshift dinner into her room, and runs back into the kitchen for a glass of juice.
Jungda thinks about how lonely she used to feel coming home without anyone else around, but today has been different and she relishes in the quietness now. Her mom had given her the room that has access to the balcony, and she's sitting there now. There's not much of a view, just more dull apartment complexes, telephone lines, and people’s laundry hanging to dry. But the sky is pretty. It looks like her favorite ice cream, some kind of purple cotton candy, and soft peachy clouds. She sighs around a bite of her food, stretching her legs out. Her toenails are a chipped sparkly purple. Some rare bonding with her mom. Jungda leans her back against the glass of her door, but after a few more minutes, she goes back inside.
It's her second week and Jungda is going to be late for her chemistry class. She's lost coming from the library, having skipped lunch, she doesn't exactly remember the way back to the hall where most of her classes are located. Kyungsoon had offered to go with her, but Jungda didn't want to be a bother.
She regrets it now.
Like a lot, and none of the rows upon rows of lockers are helping. All of the brown doors look exactly the same, and she forgot to write the number down for her class.
She finally bumps into a small kid, probably an underclassmen who points her in the right way.
She arrives to class thirty minutes late, and there's a substitute today.
Jungda kind of wants to walk right back out and head home. Except Kyungsoon and Jungda are signalling her over, and thankfully no one else pays attention to her.
"You have to sign in for the roll," Kyungsoon offers when she comes over, taking Jungda's bag from her to place it in her seat. Joonmi greets her when she comes back to sit down, everyone's treating class like a study period.
A social period, more like it.
"Why were you late?" Joonmi finally asks, concern in her voice.
"I got lost."
"Do you still need a tour?" Kyungsoon perks up, looking up from a notebook, she seems to be working on last night's homework.
Jungda had gone to sleep late because of it.
"Maybe?" Jungda thinks it might help now that she thinks about it. Actually it would help a lot. She nods in quick succession.
"You didn't get one?" Joonmi interjects, sounding surprised, voice too loud.
"Was I supposed to get one?"
"Yes--"
"Technically," Kyungsoon adds, "transfer students are--"
"I'll give you one today," Joonmi says firmly, clasping her hands. She slumps a little, suddenly a shy look falling on her face, "I mean, would you like to? Kyungsoon you can come--"
Kyungsoon immediately lifts her hand in a stop motion, voice firm, "No, I'll pass. No hard feelings Jungda, but," she smiles a little knowing look on her face. "I kind of don't want to walk around for an hour with Miss Student Council President, after school hours. No offense, Joonmi," Kyungsoon says sincerely.
"None taken," Joonmi chirps, "it'll just be the two of us then."
A dazzling smile sent Jungda’s way.
Jungda tries to focus on working ahead, accepting help from Joonmi when she gets stuck. She’s fluttering with nervousness, pen slick with sweat in her hand. Class ends quickly, and she finds out that Joonmi likes to play badminton. Jungda blushes twice and admits to watching too many cartoons sometimes. They walk in the same direction before going their separate ways to class, Kyungsoon having rushed off before them.
It's hard for Jungda to focus the rest of the day. She has PE, and she's made to sit out when she gets hit on the head by a stray basketball.
"You're a mess," Chanyeol walks over. They apparently have this class at the same time. He has a girl walking next to him, she’s almost as tall as him, and she has a pretty face. She’s all sharp angles and pointed features. Completely intimidating and gorgeous.
She brushes her hair up into a ponytail, an introduction perched on her lips, “I’m Sehee, it's nice to meet you,” her smile is soft and melty, a stark contrast. “You must be Jungda, Tao mentioned you to me.”
“I haven’t seen you in any of my classes--” Jungda lets it hang in the air like a question.
"She's an underclassmen," Chanyeol interjects, a yawn muffling the end of his words.
Sehee grimaces, "Unfortunately."
They pass the rest of the period sitting off to the side of the gym. Sehee shows Jungda how to flip a pen between her fingers, Chanyeol never gets it, and Jungda can't stop laughing the entire rest of the period. She feels sweaty and her cheeks ache, and she ends up with Sehee's number too.
Jungda's giddy with the knowledge that she's managed to make more friends. Integrated into a friend group. It’s this all over feeling that makes her swell with a happiness she didn’t realize she was missing. It’s way more than nice.
When she gets to her last class of the day, personal finance, she gets fidgety thinking about what she's going to be doing later.
She misses the lesson on writing checks, but as soon as the last bell rings, her legs turn to jelly.
She meets Joonmi outside of the front of the school, but she fidgets with her ipod. She's just put her earbuds in when someone taps her on the shoulder.
"Hey," Joonmi's voice all soft,"we have to wait until almost everyone leaves before we can start your tour."
"Oh," Jungda tugs on the strap of her bag, kicks her foot out a little. Joonmi is always touching her when she talks, a small hand resting on her wrist, shoulder, elbow. Jungda really really likes the small amounts of contact. Joonmi always hugs Kyungsoon or anyone else when she greets them, but she never does the same with Jungda. True, they've just barely met, but she wants that physical contact too.
They'll get there, they're getting there.
"Do you want to get a snack down the street first? There's a convenience store."
Jungda mulls it over, or pretends to at least, and soon enough they're walking down the street. Shoulder to shoulder. They're the same height, and their hands keep brushing against each other. It sends little shocks up Jungda’s arm, and her hand won’t stop tingling. Joonmi heads straight to the freezer in the convenience store when they push past the door. She opens the sliding top and bends inside. Her skirt rides up a little, a pretty pastel pink that brushes the tops of her thighs. Jungda swallows when she chances a glance at the exposed skin. Joonmi’s white hi-tops squeak as she tries to grab something inside.
“Want one?” She says coming up with two melon bars. Jungda nods, immediately searching for her wallet when they head to the register.
“Let me pay?” Joonmi pulls out a round yellow coin purse from her backpack, and Jungda is given no time to protest. “You can pay me back next time,” Joonmi says when they’re walking back, she bumps her hip into Jungda’s.
And they make eye contact.
Jungda is waiting for it to rain or feel a lightning strike hit her, because Joonmi chooses that exact moment to lick a long stripe down her fruit bar. Jungda chokes, stumbling. She pays extra attention to the gray cracked concrete, tufts of grass growing through the cracks.
Joonmi’s tiny soft hand doesn’t leave the edge of her elbow the short walk back, not until the tour is over either.
Jungda has been as her new school for quite some time when she finally sees Joonmi at lunch. It’s not like she hasn’t seen her. She sees Joonmi all of the time, of course she does. Jungda always seems to easily find her between classes, talking to her in chemistry. Joonmi is really good at chemistry. And math, apparently, both things Jungda struggles with.
Joonmi always gently guides her through anything she might be having a hard time grasping. They’ve settled into a routine of doing homework together in the library, meeting up with everyone at coffee shops, fast food chains, and some yogurt place Tao seems to love.
Kyungsoon and Chanyeol have band practice, but Tao just isn’t at school today. They had a doctor’s appointment, something important, but not worrisome.
“Hey,” Joonmi is bright as usual. Today she’s wearing a cream colored blouse with ruffles, lace trimmings, and a victorian collar. As if to offset the frills on the top, Joonmi paired it with loose distressed jeans, and sneakers. Her hair is a half up half down style, and when she sits down, Jungda catches a whiff of her shampoo--a sweet powdery perfume.
Cute, cute, cute.
Jungda greets her, a nod of her head. She’s kind of busy right now, cheeks bulging with food. She’s eating one of the burgers they have on Fridays, soggy sweet potato fries on the side. Cafeteria school food, western style, kind of horrendous. Palatable.
Joonmi watches her, eyes dancing. She has a red lunch box, a little bulbasaur keychain attached to it. She asks Jungda the usual, “How’s your day going?”
Joonmi pulls out a plastic container, “Did you think the homework was hard,” a little thermos follows and is set out, plain silver.
I don’t have student council today is lost somewhere before the Your hair looks really cute like that.
Jungda runs her hand through her hair, a nervous habit that pushes all of her hair up and away from her face before it cascades down and around her shoulders. She used to keep it short, but she likes it this length now, allows her to feel safe.
“You’re really pretty,” Joonmi is looking at her intently, a soft smile, a spark in her eyes.
Jungda’s heart stutters through a pitter pattering beat, trembling a little.
“She’s just being nice, she’s just being a good friend,” she mentally chides herself.
“Thanks,” Jungda huffs, stuffing more fries into her mouth. They’re wilted, and way too burnt. When she coughs, a fearsome blush fighting its way onto her too warm cheeks, Joonmi offers her the thermos in her hands. Jungda looks at her helplessly.
“Ginger tea,” Joonmi supplies with a look of concern, “I can’t let you choke,” she wags her eyebrows, “plus, it’s good for you.”
Jungda doesn’t have much of an option when Joonmi’s pretty hands are curled around the thermos. It’s not worth the fight when the other girl reaches to tuck Jungda’s hair out of the way. Fingertips brushing the outside of her ear accidentally, and the fight is lost when she places the thermos to Jungda’s lips.
Joonmi’s thumb brushes away a drop of the tea away from her lip when she pulls back, and this--this is--
“This is what the universe has in store for me,” Jungda thinks as she sits back in her seat, warmth from the tea blooming in her stomach.
It was intentional, if the look in Joonmi’s eyes was read correctly by her--but, she can’t really know. She isn’t exactly completely and totally sure.
Jungda instead defaults.
She makes light conversation with Joonmi. She’s so easy to talk to, eagerly wanting to know more about Jungda, listening as if every words that falls from her lips is very important. Joonmi is attentive, but she doesn’t carry any pretenses. And Jungda tries to pull things out of her too, Joonmi easily obliging.
Jungda thinks about how much it would cost to get a gravestone with the words, ”Here lies Kim Jungda. Death by Cute Girls.”
Though, Kim Joonmi is only one girl.
"Actually," Joonmi leans in, resting a hand on her forearm, "I was thinking--"
Her hair falls forward, brushing Jungda’s arm, it sends little shivers up her side. She shifts in her seat, but instead of leaning away, she lets Joonmi’s warmth seep into her. Just a little, just a little bit more and they could be bumping noses. She suppresses the urge to brush Joonmi’s bangs away, even if she’s done it before.
“Do you want to do some volunteer work with me?”
And it's not a confession, not that Jungda was looking for one--not like she has reason to think she might get one.
She mentally shakes her head and composes a smile onto her face.
"Um, I guess it depends?"
"That's right! You work right?" Joonmi's eyes widen, as if she wasn’t supposed to know. "Kyungsoon told me--"
Jungda lets a smile play on her lips, "Yeah, I do but only every other Saturday. I just do stock for a grocery store."
"Well, it's for Sunday and I only--I have to help my aunt organize paperwork. It's an insurance office."
"And that's volunteer work?" Jungda's confused. She had expected to go help at a retirement home. Maybe a soup kitchen.
"Kinda, yeah," Joonmi winks, "We'll get paid in lemonade and goldfish, probably.I mean--unless you're busy or don't want to? You really--"
Jungda reaches out this time, not thinking about the way she grasps at Joonmi's fingers.
"I'd more than love to--" She breathes out in a rush. Joonmi's mouth spreads into a smile full of relief and a touch of victory. Jundga doesn't notice that, too busy staring at how her hand seems to perfectly fit with Joonmi's own. Her hand is tingling when she pulls away.
Joonmi just smiles at her, and it's this knowing sort of look. It doesn't necessarily make sense for her, but Jungda doesn't dwell. Her shyness melting away, only poking its head out, she takes comfort.
This is what friends do. This is what it's like to be friends.
She pushes anything that might make her heart flutter in any way. Jungda doesn't let herself think anything of the way Joonmi bats her lashes, bites at her lip, or the way she gets Jungda worked up in an embarrassing way. Making her feel heat on the back of her neck, a different kind of flutter than when she hangs out with Tao, Kyungsoon or even Sehee.
It’s a bone deep lingering, but she pushes it away.
The bell rings, and they make their way to class. Jungda can’t help but laugh at an awful joke Joonmi makes.
They’re supposed to have a sleepover, but things come up and Joonmi has to bail. It's at Kyungsoon's house, and the only other one not there is Chanyeol.
"His parents are scared we'll have sex, but it's not like we do anything besides hold hands--" Kyungsoon speaks candidly, pumping up an air mattress for them to share in the den. Sehee is in the kitchen popping them some popcorn, checking on some brownies. Tao is still murmuring to themselves about what movie they should watch.
"Oh?" Jungda doesn't really know how to respond. Her cheeks color a little.
"Sorry," Kyungsoon stops pumping, "we just don't--get physical. I mean we kiss and it's nice, sometimes it happens, but--" she shrugs and continues filling the mattress.
"I understand, kind of--"
Jungda helps Kyungsoon adjust a comforter over the mattress, they throw pillows on top of it and a huge fuzzy blanket.
"Have you ever dated anyone?" Kyungsoon asks, watching her carefully.
Jungda's cheeks get hot, and she suddenly becomes interested in the texture of the blanket. It's soft, a royal purple.
"No, not really. I've um, I've kissed a girl before. I was a freshman," she tugs at the hem of her shirt. Jungda never talks about her sexuality, general talk about finding people attractive is okay. She herself has mentioned time and time again how in love she is with a certain female idol's thighs. Except it doesn't carry the same kind of weight as admitting she thinks one of her friends is really cute, wants to do things they do with their boyfriends.
Jungda can't quite yet pinpoint what she wants, who she is.
She's Kim Jungda, and she craves sticky strawberry flavored lipgloss kisses. Lots of hand holding too. Not so platonic cuddling.
She's liked two girls in her entire life, and only one of those instances ended up in exploration and heart break.
Heartache seems to follow her tenuous attempts at friendship. Jungda seems to convey this without any words, because Kyungsoon looks at her with kindness in her big eyes. There's a different kind of love here that blooms.
"You'll figure it out," she says in a serious tone before switching gears, "And I think there might be a good thing coming."
Jungda doesn't get to ask what she means, because Sehee returns from the kitchen, an enormous bowl of popcorn is juggled in one hand as she stuffs a brownie in each of their mouths.
Being in love with food is simple, and they all hum in agreement. Sehee makes the most delicious brownies, and she puffs up at the compliment. Tao finally pops a DVD into the player. They settle onto the bed, lying on their stomachs. Jungda is the only one who stays sitting up cross legged.
"Don't worry," Tao says as a hand pats her knee.
"What about?" Jungda's eyebrows knit together in confusion.
"Figuring things out. I'm still trying to figure all of this," they gesture to themself, "out."
"Thanks," Jungda plays with her fingers in her lap, but she ends up being enraptured by the movie playing on screen. It's Castle in the Sky, and she can't remember the last time she watched it. It takes her mind off things, successfully allowing her to settle in. She ends up under a pile of limbs, comfortably cuddling as someone, Sehee, feeds her a mouthful of popcorn.
Against her better judgement, she falls asleep with popcorn kernels stuck between her teeth. Completely missing the end of the movie.
There’s laughter and shrieking coming from upstairs and also the delicious smell of something frying. Jungda stumbles off of the air mattress and tentatively climbs the stairs.
Sehee is on the floor with Kyungsoon sitting on her while Tao takes the opportunity to tickle Sehee's sides.
"Not fair--" she gasps out, face completely flushed pink, pajama covered legs flailing. Jungda sits down on the floor next to her and brushes the hair out of her face.
"Jungda--" she laughs, "help, I'm gonna---" she shrieks when Kyungsoon bends down to blow a raspberry on her cheek. Jungda laughs, enjoying the way the two others are torturing Sehee at the moment.
"Please," She tries again, "I'm gonna---I'm gonna pee mysel--"
And she dissolves into more laughter when Jungda tickles her socked feet, and Tao takes over sitting on her.
They finally settle down, and Sehee sulks in a corner of the kitchen, laughter tears pricking her eyes. She whines, calling Jungda a traitor until the same girl coaxes her over with a slice of crispy bacon.
They sit down to eat pancakes, Kyungsoon liberally adding whip, syrup, and strawberries to whoever asks. Tao ends up with whip on their nose from a still vengeful Sehee.
"I am just an innocent child--" she yells as Tao runs after her.
"If you all break anything you're dead!" Kyungsoon's tone is threatening, but the smile on her lips reveals just how amused she actually is.
"So what if I said this was my first sleepover since I was like eight?" Jungda asks, twirling her fork in the whip left on her plate. She ate too many pancakes and wonders if its okay to fall asleep right where she is. Kyungsoon probably wouldn't mind.
“I would say, let’s have lots more, I mean--” She shifts in her seat, “Are you going away for uni? Or the summer?”
It’s easy to forget that they’ll soon be graduating, and Jungda hasn’t been thinking about it too much. She loses sleep at night sometimes, most of the time.
“I’ll be around,” She puts the fork down, “I was thinking of taking a year off. Or maybe going part time…”
“Hm,” Kyungsoon hums, “me too actually. Tao talking about becoming a hairstylist has me considering, but I kinda want to go to school too, y’know?”
Jungda nods, they’ve all talked about this before.
“Joonmi’s going to a top school, with her--I honestly don’t--um--” Jungda trails offs, she doesn’t know where she was going with that train of thought. She finally has this group of friends, they’ve allowed her to join them, they’ve accepted her. She’s in love with all of them, in that sort of wonderful blissful way. Like she’s being bathed in soft spring sunlight. She knows she doesn’t have to just rely on herself, she has so much now. Jungda’s aware that she doesn’t show it, but she’s eager to know them more, for a long time. As long as that connection between them can last.
“That you won’t be able to keep up?” Kyungsoon’s eyes twinkle.
Jungda nods, exactly what she can’t really voice.
“I think,” Kyungsoon huffs, “I think, it’s not my place to make you do what you want--”
She holds up her finger when Jungda tries to interject. “And aren’t able to do. Joonmi--we,” She corrects herself, “We really like you. You’re an awesome friend, and I don’t want you to get the wrong impression, but all of us, we talked about how it seemed as if we’d known you forever. I mean, I know you’re figuring things out, and I’m getting off subject--”
“What Kyungsoon means is we really like you. And we’ve seen Joonmi stumble around to try to show you how much she likes you,” Tao says from the doorway. Jungda can hear the Mario Kart theme playing from downstairs. They must’ve taken out the old gamecube to play with Sehee. The younger is yelling, and Jungda is almost distracted enough to giggle.
“I’m going to die,” Jungda’s blushing, breaking out into a sweat, “It was going so well--I thought we were having a moment,” Jungda’s voice is muffled by the way she’s now pressing her face onto the table, “But you guys had to ruin it.”
Kyungsoon giggles, “We usually keep out of people’s business. Joonmi’s the meddlesome one, well intentioned, but meddlesome. It’s just--”
“It’s so painful watching you two,” Sehee has finally joined them, “whatever you guys do or don’t do--”
“We should figure it out,” Jungda’s finally sitting up, “How did you guys even--I didn’t know she--”
“Joonmi kept calling you cute and giving you puppy eyes, and we just asked. She mumbled a lot and was like,” Sehee is smiling, using air quotes, “She probably doesn’t even see me that way, and like. We were worried,” Sehee finishes sincerely.
“Joonmi’s our friend, and now you too, we just don’t want you guys to end up hurt,” Tao shrugs, and the other two girls nod.
It makes sense, of course it does.
“I can’t believe you guys are basically giving me an intervention” Jundga finally laughs, hiccuping at the end.
“It wasn’t the plan, Chanyeol wanted us to lock you two in the bathroom. I’m sorry though,” Kyungsoon looks really nervous now, tugging on one of the drawstrings of her sleep shorts, “We don’t want you to feel cornered--”
Jungda stands up, gathering her dirty dishes, “No, barely,” She laughs, “I’m not good at any of this,” she gestures with a dirty fork, “thank you. I mean--” She smirks, a facial expression she gets to use a lot now, “I mean I guess--”
It takes exactly ten minutes for them to wash the dishes when Sehee finally enacts her revenge. Jungda's covered in suds and somehow Tao goes unscathed, laughing almost like they're too amused by a now also soapy Kyungsoon.
“Tao--” Kyungsoon threatens before taking off after them, tackling down the taller. They horse around until they’re all tired and Kyungsoon gets a text that her mom left them money for a pizza.
Perfect, perfect, perfect.
It's sunny when Jungda leaves home, she's supposed to meet Joonmi outside of the starbucks that's halfway between their houses. Easier that way for them to meet up. When Jungda gets there, the other girl signals her inside and hands her an ice cold tea. She's really dressed down today, and Jungda does a double take at the cap on Joonmi's head.
Jungda takes the tea awkwardly, "Thanks," only a few syllables stumbling out of her mouth, "I like your hat by the way," she says flicking the bill of the baseball cap.
"Oh, thanks," she puts up a v-sign and winks, "Come on," Joonmi is already taking one of her hands and leading her back out into the sun. Jungda does her best to clear the talk she had with everyone else the day before, but it's hard when all she focus on in Joonmi's hand. The charm bracelets she always wears clinks, and her sweaty palm is pressed firmly against Jungda's.
"Are you okay?" She asks abruptly, stopping in the middle of the sidewalk. They're in the middle of a popular shopping district, and there are so many people milling about that Jungda feels sweaty.
"Yeah," She responds automatically, arranges a careful smile onto her face.
Joonmi nods, dropping her hand in favor of her phone, "I'll let my aunt know we're on our way. Thank you so much for doing this with me."
"Of course! It's not a big deal, and we can finally do something together. Just us two."
"Yeah..."Joonmi isn't really looking at her.
They barely talk on the way to the office, but it's not too bad seeing as how it only takes ten minutes to arrive.
The office is empty of people, except of course for Joonmi's aunt. She's plump and small, a kind look on her face. She's thankful for their help, organizing old paperwork was apparently too menial a job for anyone else in the office. They settle into chairs set up at a desk, alphabetizing papers dating back for up to ten years ago. Sometimes they stop to giggle at names or just random things--Joonmi quietly cracking jokes that aren't funny at all. The tension from before dissolves as they focus on the task at hand, but they can't talk about anything, not really, with Joonmi's aunt in the room.
All of the words and questions bubbling up are pushed to the side.
It's not the right time, not the right place at all. They take a short break, and true to what Joonmi had said, they're given goldfish crackers and canned lemonade.
"You weren't lying," Jungda giggles between sips, the cool drink sliding down her throat.
"As if I would," Joonmi replies mock offended. The next three hours pass quickly and without incident.
It's honestly painful when Jungda breaks concentration and ends up watching Joonmi for too long. She's dying to say something, ask anything, but they end up finishing.
Joonmi won't stop expressing her gratitude, and Jungda opens her mouth to say something.
Except Joonmi trips, Jungda catches her by the elbow. They're both in shock, Joonmi could have easily fallen into oncoming traffic. A warm breeze blows by, and by this time the amount of people out has dwindled significantly.
"Don't do that," Jungda tries to lighten the mood, "that was--"
"Close," Joonmi smiles tightlipped, "Thanks, for everything."
Jungda watches as Joonmi runs a hand through her bangs, huffing when they fall back into place. "I should get going," she says already starting to turn away, voice tight too.
"Oh," Jungda tries to return the smile, "okay! Can i text you?"
Joonmi nods enthusiastically, "Yeah! Also um--" she stops moving, "I was thinking, are you free this weekend? Or week? We could have a sleepover to make up for me not coming--I mean it could just be us too hanging out--I mean if--"
"Yeah, sure, just uh, just text me?"
Joonmi agrees, looking a little more like herself as she walks in the opposite direction. Jungda feels better too.
On Friday they decide that Joonmi is to go home with Jungda, because her mom won't be home and really--that seems to be best.
Not that they should've disclosed that detail because Chanyeol wolf whistles when Joonmi innocently lets it slip past her lips.
"You can't even imagine what we'll be doing," Joonmi quips, and Jungda's cheeks burn. Even if it's just a joke. A really damning joke to be exact.
She waits for Joonmi outside at the front of the school, waving Tao off as they jump on their bike. Sehee has violin lessons, and Kyungsoon had disappeared with Chanyeol for their date night. So it's not like anyone would have been able to invite themselves to Jungda's place anyway.
She had hope no one would, but hanging out with just Joonmi is really hard, really nerve wracking. And it wasn't before, there were no heavy implications.
The other girl is blissfully unaware that Jungda knows, and she wishes they could switch places. Joonmi's a go getter, she's the type to work extra hard--Jungda is too much of a chicken and honestly, everything sucks.
That thought is smothered when she catches sight of Joonmi walking in her direction. She's in her clothes from badminton practice, and really they're tennis clothes. The difference comes from the actual sport, but she's wearing white on white on white. Short pleated skort and visor complete the look in a way that makes Jungda not want to look away for any reason.
"You ready?" Jungda asks, already leading the way in the direction of where she lives. Joonmi follows close behind, educating her on badminton. How it's the greatest sport ever. Jungda jokes around each time she gets the chance, because worked up Joonmi is both entertaining and awfully cute. Hair pulled up, hair bouncing in the perfect way it always does when its pulled into a high ponytail.
Home is quiet, like it always is. Their laughter echoes in the hallway outside of the front door, falling inside heavily.
"My mom probably won't be home," Jungda says almost cheerily, "She met someone new, its always been like this."
She neatly takes off her shoes and continues on to her room, Joonmi easily mimicking her actions.
"Oh," Joonmi hums in awe, "your room is so nice and clean, you should see mine."
Jungda finds it hard to believe that Joonmi could be anything but overly organized. In all aspects of her life.
"I'm full of surprises," she winks.
They settle into her room, Joonmi taking the liberty of picking up the trinkets on Jungda's desk, inspecting individual items and putting them down again.
"Is this you with your mom?" She asks picking up a picture frame.
"Mhm, we went to the lake that day."
"I get it now."
"Get what?" Jungda asks confused. Curious.
"Why you're so pretty," Joonmi turns around, pointing at the picture, "you get it from your mom, huh?"
The girl in question blushes bright pink.
"Let me show you the balcony."
She leads her outside, and the balcony is so small, theyre standing impossibly close together.
"There's not much of a view, unless you're into star watching?"
"Or cloud watching," Joonmi jokes, "since its still day."
"True," Jungda agrees, suggesting they sit, backs resting against the sliding glass door.
They're quiet, the sky turning a muted salmon pink as the sun begins to set.
"Those are stratocumulus clouds," Jungda says suddenly.
"I can't believe you remember that, wasn't the water cycle taught in like--" Joonmi is giggling.
"Yes, forever ago," Jungda laughs, "clouds are nice."
"Mhm."
Joonmi sighs heavily and leans forward a little, "We need to talk, don't we?"
"Did you get the 'we're not trying to meddle but' lecture," Jungda uses air quotes.
Joonmi laughs, "Yeah, I got the version that asks to be gentle because I'm coming on too strong."
"Its okay," Jungda becomes serious, "they mean well."
They're quiet again. A flock of birds passes overhead, and the low hanging cotton candy clouds are turning golden with the lowering sun.
It looks almost dreamy, like Jungda could reach out and pluck a cloud piece out of the sky.
"I like you too," Jungda whispers, breaking the silence.
"I don't want you to think that--that you have to do something or like--"
"No," Jungda is firm. She's much more straightforward these days. Kyungsoon had commented how its not like she's changed, but opened up. It's a long way, she still has to go.
"No?" And there's self doubt cutting through with how Joonmi responds.
"Oh sorry--I mean um--" she huffs, "I'm still--" she gestures to herself, "I'm still--"
"Figuring things out," Joonmi finishes for her, face softening.
"But I know that I like you--more than a friend," she tries again, fidgeting with her hands.
"We'll--we'll figure things out," Joonmi says intertwining their fingers.
Her face is that all over face crinkling, pretty straight teeth and soft lips--smile.
Jungda sucks in a shuddering breath when Joonmi lays her head on her shoulder.
The sun sets eventually, and they settle on having dinner somewhere down the street. They walk impossibly close together, Joonmi linking her pinky with Jundga's own.
Everything comes with time.
Everyone's busy now a days, but they make going to Sehee's graduation a top priority.
"You've joined us," Tao teases the younger, "you gonna join me at the salon too? You can't back out on me now."
Sehee is glowing , "I can't wait. We're gonna be the best hairstylists out there, nothing will stop us now!"
They all dissolve into fit of laughter when Sehee punctuates her sentence with a victory yell.
They don't hang out as often, but it's okay, because even if weeks pass, it doesn't matter. It's always just as easy, just as perfect.
Kyungsoon and Chanyeol have moved in together, and their apartment is where they find themselves on a Wednesday night. Something about how a home cooked meal is to bring them together. Courtesy of Chanyeol's cookbook app.
"So how's school?" Kyungsoon comes over with a glass of wine, just a little bit for each of them. Just enough for the taste and the all over warmth. She knows they each need to get home, and a hump day isn't exactly the best day to get drunk.
There's a chorus of laughter as Joonmi beats Tao at yet another round of tennis on the Wii. The two are both just as hardheaded when it comes to winning games.
"Hard, but I like it. You?"
"Same, Chanyeol is switching over to online classes. I love being on campus though."
"That's good, I'm--" Jungda feels silly when she feels little pinpricks, happy tears. The same kind when her mom had asked her to be her bridesmaid for her wedding next year. Everyone's growing, learning--finding their way.
"You're not allowed to cry," Kyungsoon says, face settling into her signature frown. She's putting up a front, because her voice cracks somewhere in the middle.
"I'm just really happy."
They all disperse sometime around ten, a modest time. Sehee and Tao walking in the same direction, something about Tao needing to make sure the younger gets home safe.
“I had fun,” Joonmi says flexing her fingers, “and Chanyeol is surprisingly a good cook, no?”
“Mmm, I don’t detect any signs of heartburn, so yeah--”Jungda agrees, adjusting the strap of the bag on her shoulder. It’s humid, the concrete wet, reflecting the light of the street lamps.
“I heard you got emotional,” Joonmi begins to tease, but she’s closer, voice lower.
“Kyungsoon did too,” Jungda protests half heartedly. They’ve stopped walking, standing in front of their dorms, they’re staying in different buildings, but Joonmi insists they part halfway.
“So um--”Joonmi’s eyes are already locking with hers, a hand coming up to stroke Jungda’s face, caress her cheek. She sighs into the soft touch, wishing it wasn’t Wednesday. That they both didn’t have roommates. Jungda closes the gap, presses in as close as she can. She adores the soft feel of Joonmi pressing into her, soft hands already moving into her hair. Her mouth is perfect, plush lips sliding against her own. She doesn’t want to stop, doesn’t want to let go when Joonmi sighs into her mouth, nips right below her earlobe. Teases with a thigh pressed between her own, a hand trailing up and down her arm. She’s already reacting fully, breaking into goosebumps.
But they stop, heaving, trying to catch their breath. It’s Wednesday, and they’re standing outside where anyone could see them, and this is between them--just for them.
“We should go to a love hotel sometime,” Joonmi breathes, pecking her lips, pressing their foreheads together.
“That’s so skeevy,” Jungda says, but it doesn’t sound like a bad idea, not at all. She tucks Joonmi’s hair behind her ears, brushes her bangs back into place.
“Not if we’re in love,” Joonmi wags her eyebrows, earning a horrible too loud snort from Jungda.
“Good call,” Jungda allows before sending her off with one last kiss, placed on the apple of her cheek.
She’s feeling more than a little alright, Jungda does something embarrassing before walking into her dorm room. She screams into the night, letting whoever’s still awake know just how happy she is.
a/n: i was busy around the time the reveals for this fest happened and forgot to crosspost. im happy with this bc its the lighthearted made for tv gay movie we need idk. pls comment!!
rating:pg13
length:8096
warnings: implied anxiety
summary:Jungda’s used to constantly starting over, but her last year of high school is going to be different. She’s sure of it.
a/n: i forgot to crosspost, originally written for NabiSonyeo here. title from toro y moi’s “my touch”.
*tao’s gender is not specified here, and that is why ‘they’ is used for their pronouns.*
name reference:
-jungda is jongdae
-joonmi is joonmyun
-kyungsoon is kyungsoo
-sehee is sehun
There’s a way to deal with this, Jungda thinks. She isn’t exactly sure how exactly, but she's not about to let this ruin her day. She’s in the girl’s restroom of her new high school, a giant splotch of fish sauce is covering her new blouse. Jungda thinks about crying when she catches sight of herself in the imposing mirrors.
It's her first day of school. One of dozens over the past few years. She had come in that morning, determined to change things. Jungda is used to starting over.
Her mother is afraid of stagnation, but it seems she's forgotten that Jungda is still dependent on her.
She has never complained, not once. Jungda didn't throw a tantrum when she had to leave her childhood best friend, Jaehwan, the first time they moved. Jungda didn't even cry when she had to move a week before opening night of the musical she had slaved over. Not even when she knew that she wouldn't get to perform on stage, that was move number three. Jungda has always been a good girl. If she thinks about it, she's much more of an adult than she should have to be.
She huffs, taking a wet paper towel, she begins to blot her shirt. She's more upset by the fact that she'd just bought it. Her part time job sucks, and this is the first thing she’s ever bought with her paycheck.
When she's finished, now a faded brown spot is left, Jungda re-braids her hair.
"Are you alright?" A girl says when she pushes into the restroom. She's the same height as Jungda, and her hair falls around her shoulders in perfect light brown ringlets. Her eyes are enormous,captivating, and her dark eyelashes only serve to frame them better. All in all, she's really attractive in a soft sort of way.
"Yeah," Jungda says much too quietly. Her shyness is a bad habit she's picked up recently. Her last school had cracked her resolve much too easily. But that seems to happen when your mom makes you go to a school where most of the students come from money, and you don’t.
"If you use dish soap on that when you get home,” The other girls says, busying herself with fixing her hair, “it'll help take the stain out."
She smiles slightly, full pink lips turning into a heart shape.
Jungda's heart stutters a tiny bit.
She's such a sucker for cute girls. Her ultimate weakness.
"Thanks," Jungda isn't able to meet her gaze. The girl's smile gets bigger. "I'm Kyungsoon by the way. You must be new, right?"
Jungda nods and manages to whisper her name, a bad introduction. That seems to be enough for Kyungsoon, because she ends up dragging Jungda back out to the lunchroom. She doesn't talk nearly as much as Jungda had expected, and Kyungsoon also doesn't force Jungda to speak.
It's a real relief.
They enter the crowded lunchroom; Jungda is led to a round table near one of the windows. There are two people already sitting there. A guy wearing a dress code violating snapback waves enthusiastically when they approach. Kyungsoon audibly tsks.
"You're gonna get detention again Chanyeol," She says ripping the snapback off of him. She tucks the black hat safely away in the backpack on the floor. She gestures for Jungda to sit next to her. The guy seems like a giant, even from where they're sitting, knees hitting the underside of the table. He runs a hand through reddish brown hair, but it flops back into place. He reminds Jungda of one of the elves from Lord of the Rings.
"I'm Chanyeol by the way," he immediately introduces himself, "Kyungsoon's boyfriend."
Kyungsoon rolls her eyes, "Your mom says if you get detention one more time, you won't be allowed to date until you're fifty."
She ignores Chanyeol's protests and turns to the other person quietly eating their lunch.
"This is Tao," Kyungsoon gestures to them. They're delicate, this Tao person. Glossy black hair pulled back at the nape to display shaved sides, and a single stud in one ear. They push up their glasses up when they smile, they have a kittenish smile, large hands and long fingers.
"Hi," their voice comes out softly, "Nice to meet you--"
"Jungda," she replies a little more confidently than before. They smile again, and everyone falls into quiet conversation. A complete contrast from the chaos around them.
"Is today your first day?" Tao asks.
"Yes," Jungda replies around a bite of her apple, "have you, um--Have you always gone to school here?"
"Yes, I have, but listen, you'll make friends easily. It's such a big school it's easy to find your niche, and it seems you're gonna fit in with us anyway," Tao says winking. They seem to be able to sense Jungda’s anxiety.
Jungda is feeling a lot better, she's going to be a lot happier than she has been in a long, long time. It’s called optimism, and she’s throwing everything into it. She smiles when Tao offers her some of their lunch. She’d decided to try her best to make this her year after all.
Kyungsoon turns out to have the same chemistry class as Jungda, because they end up walking together.
"So before we go in," she says when they reach the classroom, "the teacher is really loud. But at least he stays on track. A lot of the kids don't care, so avoid sitting in the back. Some guys sit back there and they're gross. Um--" She taps the side of her cheek thoughtfully, "Oh! If you need help with anything," she smiles," don't hesitate to ask, okay?"
Jungda expresses gratitude, but she finds that Kyungsoon seems to have forgotten one thing.
Or more like, one person.
A very important person actually.
"Hi," a girl says as soon as Jungda sits down. She looks up and is met with brown almost black eyes, and a pretty glossy pink smile. Her hair is tied up in a neat ponytail, tendrils carefully arranged to frame her face, and Jungda has never seen such perfect bangs.
She's what dreams are made of, the perfect Sandy, but Jungda is probably still suffering the after effects of watching Grease one too many times over the past month.
"You must be Kim Jungda, the new transfer student, I'm Kim Joonmi. The student council president."
"You---know who I--"
"Of course!" She says brightly, clasping her hands together, "It's my job to make you feel welcome,” Joonmi continues. She’s perky, almost too much, but Jungda is quickly saved when Kyungsoon sidles up next to her.
“Joonmi, please, tone it down at least two notches,” Kyungsoon says softly, “You’re overwhelming her.”
“Oh,” Joonmi says, mouth turning into a perfect little ‘O’. She immediately takes the tip of her ponytail and sticks it into her mouth. “I didn’t mean to--”
“It’s alright,” Jungda says quietly, “It’s nice to meet you.”
The full faced eye crinkling smile is enough to make Jungda blush, and she can’t help the smile she gives in return.
It’s hard to focus on chemical formulas when Joonmi ends up sitting next to Jungda. Kyungsoon is on her other side, but Jungda tries to focus.
“If you ever need help,” Joonmi whispers after class, “I can help you.”
Jungda nods, “Thanks.”
She watches Joonmi walk out of class, her perfect ponytail swishing back and forth.
Jungda is piling her books into her messenger bag after class; she has a lot of catching up to do, because it seems that her old school was no where near as tough as this one. It’s funny she thinks, because of how much the students played it up.
“Hey,” Tao says in greeting, accidentally startling her. They tower over her too, all long limbs.
“Oh,” Jungda turns around, “hi.”
“Do you want to go home together?” Tao leans against the locker next to her, pushing hair behind their ear.
“Do you walk home or ride the bus?” Jungda asks, slamming her locker closed, “I usually walk home. We live in an apartment complex near by.”
“I actually saw you walking here today,” Tao laughs shyly, “I ride my bike to school.”
“Is that okay then?” Jungda doesn’t want to inconvenience Tao, “I mean--”
“It’s alright,” Tao’s smile is meant to be reassuring, “I don’t mind.”
Tao, it turns out, lives a block a little further down from Jungda. They chatter happily about small things, and Jungda’s never had this before. She feels like she’s been missing out. Tao’s also a lot brighter and louder, maybe it was initial shyness.
“Do you know Joonmi?” She decides to ask on whim. She had seen the other girl in passing after class. Caught her eye a few times, blushed at the smile sent her way.
"Kim Joonmi?" Tao pauses, "Of course. Everyone does, and she usually eats lunch with us too. She’s been friends with Kyungsoon since they were really little, something like that."
"Oh yeah?" Jungda remembers how Kyungsoon had come to her rescue earlier, “I didn’t see her at lunch though..”
Jungda would have noticed her then.
"Yeah, she sometimes has student council meetings, so she’s missing a lot," Tao answers her question without seeming suspicious, they’ve stopped rolling along their bike at this point. There are silver streamers at the end, but instead of making their bike look like a child’s, it actually looks cool. The handlebars also seem worn down, a bicycle loved.
"Ah," She chews on her bottom lip, "she must be popular."
Tao cocks their head to the side, thinking it seems. They nod. “Yeah...but--” they pause, thinking, “Joonmi is the type of person who doesn’t care about those things.”
Jungda ingests the information, and she tightens the hold on the strap of her backpack. She doesn’t really know where her curiosity for Joonmi is coming from, but she can’t help it. They’re in front of her building, the soon to be familiar face of the gloomy building looking down at her. She waves to Tao, thanking them over and over again for walking home with her. Tao laughs, lighter and louder than she’d expected.
“I’m just being a friend,” they say as they hop onto their bike and ride off, waving. Silver streamers glinting in the sun. Jungda warms at the sentiment. She’s practically bouncing when she disappears into the old building.
Home is quiet, small. Jungda is used to this kind of setting. A rarely home mom, and a quiet room. The only thing that changes is her age, and the exact home. There are still boxes in the kitchen, and she kicks one over to the side with a socked foot. She finds the one she's looking for, her mom's neat script spelling out kitchen, makes her find easy. She pulls out a pan, and opens the nearly empty fridge. She fries two slices of ham, pouring two eggs over it, stomach rumbling with the sizzle. She takes her makeshift dinner into her room, and runs back into the kitchen for a glass of juice.
Jungda thinks about how lonely she used to feel coming home without anyone else around, but today has been different and she relishes in the quietness now. Her mom had given her the room that has access to the balcony, and she's sitting there now. There's not much of a view, just more dull apartment complexes, telephone lines, and people’s laundry hanging to dry. But the sky is pretty. It looks like her favorite ice cream, some kind of purple cotton candy, and soft peachy clouds. She sighs around a bite of her food, stretching her legs out. Her toenails are a chipped sparkly purple. Some rare bonding with her mom. Jungda leans her back against the glass of her door, but after a few more minutes, she goes back inside.
It's her second week and Jungda is going to be late for her chemistry class. She's lost coming from the library, having skipped lunch, she doesn't exactly remember the way back to the hall where most of her classes are located. Kyungsoon had offered to go with her, but Jungda didn't want to be a bother.
She regrets it now.
Like a lot, and none of the rows upon rows of lockers are helping. All of the brown doors look exactly the same, and she forgot to write the number down for her class.
She finally bumps into a small kid, probably an underclassmen who points her in the right way.
She arrives to class thirty minutes late, and there's a substitute today.
Jungda kind of wants to walk right back out and head home. Except Kyungsoon and Jungda are signalling her over, and thankfully no one else pays attention to her.
"You have to sign in for the roll," Kyungsoon offers when she comes over, taking Jungda's bag from her to place it in her seat. Joonmi greets her when she comes back to sit down, everyone's treating class like a study period.
A social period, more like it.
"Why were you late?" Joonmi finally asks, concern in her voice.
"I got lost."
"Do you still need a tour?" Kyungsoon perks up, looking up from a notebook, she seems to be working on last night's homework.
Jungda had gone to sleep late because of it.
"Maybe?" Jungda thinks it might help now that she thinks about it. Actually it would help a lot. She nods in quick succession.
"You didn't get one?" Joonmi interjects, sounding surprised, voice too loud.
"Was I supposed to get one?"
"Yes--"
"Technically," Kyungsoon adds, "transfer students are--"
"I'll give you one today," Joonmi says firmly, clasping her hands. She slumps a little, suddenly a shy look falling on her face, "I mean, would you like to? Kyungsoon you can come--"
Kyungsoon immediately lifts her hand in a stop motion, voice firm, "No, I'll pass. No hard feelings Jungda, but," she smiles a little knowing look on her face. "I kind of don't want to walk around for an hour with Miss Student Council President, after school hours. No offense, Joonmi," Kyungsoon says sincerely.
"None taken," Joonmi chirps, "it'll just be the two of us then."
A dazzling smile sent Jungda’s way.
Jungda tries to focus on working ahead, accepting help from Joonmi when she gets stuck. She’s fluttering with nervousness, pen slick with sweat in her hand. Class ends quickly, and she finds out that Joonmi likes to play badminton. Jungda blushes twice and admits to watching too many cartoons sometimes. They walk in the same direction before going their separate ways to class, Kyungsoon having rushed off before them.
It's hard for Jungda to focus the rest of the day. She has PE, and she's made to sit out when she gets hit on the head by a stray basketball.
"You're a mess," Chanyeol walks over. They apparently have this class at the same time. He has a girl walking next to him, she’s almost as tall as him, and she has a pretty face. She’s all sharp angles and pointed features. Completely intimidating and gorgeous.
She brushes her hair up into a ponytail, an introduction perched on her lips, “I’m Sehee, it's nice to meet you,” her smile is soft and melty, a stark contrast. “You must be Jungda, Tao mentioned you to me.”
“I haven’t seen you in any of my classes--” Jungda lets it hang in the air like a question.
"She's an underclassmen," Chanyeol interjects, a yawn muffling the end of his words.
Sehee grimaces, "Unfortunately."
They pass the rest of the period sitting off to the side of the gym. Sehee shows Jungda how to flip a pen between her fingers, Chanyeol never gets it, and Jungda can't stop laughing the entire rest of the period. She feels sweaty and her cheeks ache, and she ends up with Sehee's number too.
Jungda's giddy with the knowledge that she's managed to make more friends. Integrated into a friend group. It’s this all over feeling that makes her swell with a happiness she didn’t realize she was missing. It’s way more than nice.
When she gets to her last class of the day, personal finance, she gets fidgety thinking about what she's going to be doing later.
She misses the lesson on writing checks, but as soon as the last bell rings, her legs turn to jelly.
She meets Joonmi outside of the front of the school, but she fidgets with her ipod. She's just put her earbuds in when someone taps her on the shoulder.
"Hey," Joonmi's voice all soft,"we have to wait until almost everyone leaves before we can start your tour."
"Oh," Jungda tugs on the strap of her bag, kicks her foot out a little. Joonmi is always touching her when she talks, a small hand resting on her wrist, shoulder, elbow. Jungda really really likes the small amounts of contact. Joonmi always hugs Kyungsoon or anyone else when she greets them, but she never does the same with Jungda. True, they've just barely met, but she wants that physical contact too.
They'll get there, they're getting there.
"Do you want to get a snack down the street first? There's a convenience store."
Jungda mulls it over, or pretends to at least, and soon enough they're walking down the street. Shoulder to shoulder. They're the same height, and their hands keep brushing against each other. It sends little shocks up Jungda’s arm, and her hand won’t stop tingling. Joonmi heads straight to the freezer in the convenience store when they push past the door. She opens the sliding top and bends inside. Her skirt rides up a little, a pretty pastel pink that brushes the tops of her thighs. Jungda swallows when she chances a glance at the exposed skin. Joonmi’s white hi-tops squeak as she tries to grab something inside.
“Want one?” She says coming up with two melon bars. Jungda nods, immediately searching for her wallet when they head to the register.
“Let me pay?” Joonmi pulls out a round yellow coin purse from her backpack, and Jungda is given no time to protest. “You can pay me back next time,” Joonmi says when they’re walking back, she bumps her hip into Jungda’s.
And they make eye contact.
Jungda is waiting for it to rain or feel a lightning strike hit her, because Joonmi chooses that exact moment to lick a long stripe down her fruit bar. Jungda chokes, stumbling. She pays extra attention to the gray cracked concrete, tufts of grass growing through the cracks.
Joonmi’s tiny soft hand doesn’t leave the edge of her elbow the short walk back, not until the tour is over either.
Jungda has been as her new school for quite some time when she finally sees Joonmi at lunch. It’s not like she hasn’t seen her. She sees Joonmi all of the time, of course she does. Jungda always seems to easily find her between classes, talking to her in chemistry. Joonmi is really good at chemistry. And math, apparently, both things Jungda struggles with.
Joonmi always gently guides her through anything she might be having a hard time grasping. They’ve settled into a routine of doing homework together in the library, meeting up with everyone at coffee shops, fast food chains, and some yogurt place Tao seems to love.
Kyungsoon and Chanyeol have band practice, but Tao just isn’t at school today. They had a doctor’s appointment, something important, but not worrisome.
“Hey,” Joonmi is bright as usual. Today she’s wearing a cream colored blouse with ruffles, lace trimmings, and a victorian collar. As if to offset the frills on the top, Joonmi paired it with loose distressed jeans, and sneakers. Her hair is a half up half down style, and when she sits down, Jungda catches a whiff of her shampoo--a sweet powdery perfume.
Cute, cute, cute.
Jungda greets her, a nod of her head. She’s kind of busy right now, cheeks bulging with food. She’s eating one of the burgers they have on Fridays, soggy sweet potato fries on the side. Cafeteria school food, western style, kind of horrendous. Palatable.
Joonmi watches her, eyes dancing. She has a red lunch box, a little bulbasaur keychain attached to it. She asks Jungda the usual, “How’s your day going?”
Joonmi pulls out a plastic container, “Did you think the homework was hard,” a little thermos follows and is set out, plain silver.
I don’t have student council today is lost somewhere before the Your hair looks really cute like that.
Jungda runs her hand through her hair, a nervous habit that pushes all of her hair up and away from her face before it cascades down and around her shoulders. She used to keep it short, but she likes it this length now, allows her to feel safe.
“You’re really pretty,” Joonmi is looking at her intently, a soft smile, a spark in her eyes.
Jungda’s heart stutters through a pitter pattering beat, trembling a little.
“She’s just being nice, she’s just being a good friend,” she mentally chides herself.
“Thanks,” Jungda huffs, stuffing more fries into her mouth. They’re wilted, and way too burnt. When she coughs, a fearsome blush fighting its way onto her too warm cheeks, Joonmi offers her the thermos in her hands. Jungda looks at her helplessly.
“Ginger tea,” Joonmi supplies with a look of concern, “I can’t let you choke,” she wags her eyebrows, “plus, it’s good for you.”
Jungda doesn’t have much of an option when Joonmi’s pretty hands are curled around the thermos. It’s not worth the fight when the other girl reaches to tuck Jungda’s hair out of the way. Fingertips brushing the outside of her ear accidentally, and the fight is lost when she places the thermos to Jungda’s lips.
Joonmi’s thumb brushes away a drop of the tea away from her lip when she pulls back, and this--this is--
“This is what the universe has in store for me,” Jungda thinks as she sits back in her seat, warmth from the tea blooming in her stomach.
It was intentional, if the look in Joonmi’s eyes was read correctly by her--but, she can’t really know. She isn’t exactly completely and totally sure.
Jungda instead defaults.
She makes light conversation with Joonmi. She’s so easy to talk to, eagerly wanting to know more about Jungda, listening as if every words that falls from her lips is very important. Joonmi is attentive, but she doesn’t carry any pretenses. And Jungda tries to pull things out of her too, Joonmi easily obliging.
Jungda thinks about how much it would cost to get a gravestone with the words, ”Here lies Kim Jungda. Death by Cute Girls.”
Though, Kim Joonmi is only one girl.
"Actually," Joonmi leans in, resting a hand on her forearm, "I was thinking--"
Her hair falls forward, brushing Jungda’s arm, it sends little shivers up her side. She shifts in her seat, but instead of leaning away, she lets Joonmi’s warmth seep into her. Just a little, just a little bit more and they could be bumping noses. She suppresses the urge to brush Joonmi’s bangs away, even if she’s done it before.
“Do you want to do some volunteer work with me?”
And it's not a confession, not that Jungda was looking for one--not like she has reason to think she might get one.
She mentally shakes her head and composes a smile onto her face.
"Um, I guess it depends?"
"That's right! You work right?" Joonmi's eyes widen, as if she wasn’t supposed to know. "Kyungsoon told me--"
Jungda lets a smile play on her lips, "Yeah, I do but only every other Saturday. I just do stock for a grocery store."
"Well, it's for Sunday and I only--I have to help my aunt organize paperwork. It's an insurance office."
"And that's volunteer work?" Jungda's confused. She had expected to go help at a retirement home. Maybe a soup kitchen.
"Kinda, yeah," Joonmi winks, "We'll get paid in lemonade and goldfish, probably.I mean--unless you're busy or don't want to? You really--"
Jungda reaches out this time, not thinking about the way she grasps at Joonmi's fingers.
"I'd more than love to--" She breathes out in a rush. Joonmi's mouth spreads into a smile full of relief and a touch of victory. Jundga doesn't notice that, too busy staring at how her hand seems to perfectly fit with Joonmi's own. Her hand is tingling when she pulls away.
Joonmi just smiles at her, and it's this knowing sort of look. It doesn't necessarily make sense for her, but Jungda doesn't dwell. Her shyness melting away, only poking its head out, she takes comfort.
This is what friends do. This is what it's like to be friends.
She pushes anything that might make her heart flutter in any way. Jungda doesn't let herself think anything of the way Joonmi bats her lashes, bites at her lip, or the way she gets Jungda worked up in an embarrassing way. Making her feel heat on the back of her neck, a different kind of flutter than when she hangs out with Tao, Kyungsoon or even Sehee.
It’s a bone deep lingering, but she pushes it away.
The bell rings, and they make their way to class. Jungda can’t help but laugh at an awful joke Joonmi makes.
They’re supposed to have a sleepover, but things come up and Joonmi has to bail. It's at Kyungsoon's house, and the only other one not there is Chanyeol.
"His parents are scared we'll have sex, but it's not like we do anything besides hold hands--" Kyungsoon speaks candidly, pumping up an air mattress for them to share in the den. Sehee is in the kitchen popping them some popcorn, checking on some brownies. Tao is still murmuring to themselves about what movie they should watch.
"Oh?" Jungda doesn't really know how to respond. Her cheeks color a little.
"Sorry," Kyungsoon stops pumping, "we just don't--get physical. I mean we kiss and it's nice, sometimes it happens, but--" she shrugs and continues filling the mattress.
"I understand, kind of--"
Jungda helps Kyungsoon adjust a comforter over the mattress, they throw pillows on top of it and a huge fuzzy blanket.
"Have you ever dated anyone?" Kyungsoon asks, watching her carefully.
Jungda's cheeks get hot, and she suddenly becomes interested in the texture of the blanket. It's soft, a royal purple.
"No, not really. I've um, I've kissed a girl before. I was a freshman," she tugs at the hem of her shirt. Jungda never talks about her sexuality, general talk about finding people attractive is okay. She herself has mentioned time and time again how in love she is with a certain female idol's thighs. Except it doesn't carry the same kind of weight as admitting she thinks one of her friends is really cute, wants to do things they do with their boyfriends.
Jungda can't quite yet pinpoint what she wants, who she is.
She's Kim Jungda, and she craves sticky strawberry flavored lipgloss kisses. Lots of hand holding too. Not so platonic cuddling.
She's liked two girls in her entire life, and only one of those instances ended up in exploration and heart break.
Heartache seems to follow her tenuous attempts at friendship. Jungda seems to convey this without any words, because Kyungsoon looks at her with kindness in her big eyes. There's a different kind of love here that blooms.
"You'll figure it out," she says in a serious tone before switching gears, "And I think there might be a good thing coming."
Jungda doesn't get to ask what she means, because Sehee returns from the kitchen, an enormous bowl of popcorn is juggled in one hand as she stuffs a brownie in each of their mouths.
Being in love with food is simple, and they all hum in agreement. Sehee makes the most delicious brownies, and she puffs up at the compliment. Tao finally pops a DVD into the player. They settle onto the bed, lying on their stomachs. Jungda is the only one who stays sitting up cross legged.
"Don't worry," Tao says as a hand pats her knee.
"What about?" Jungda's eyebrows knit together in confusion.
"Figuring things out. I'm still trying to figure all of this," they gesture to themself, "out."
"Thanks," Jungda plays with her fingers in her lap, but she ends up being enraptured by the movie playing on screen. It's Castle in the Sky, and she can't remember the last time she watched it. It takes her mind off things, successfully allowing her to settle in. She ends up under a pile of limbs, comfortably cuddling as someone, Sehee, feeds her a mouthful of popcorn.
Against her better judgement, she falls asleep with popcorn kernels stuck between her teeth. Completely missing the end of the movie.
There’s laughter and shrieking coming from upstairs and also the delicious smell of something frying. Jungda stumbles off of the air mattress and tentatively climbs the stairs.
Sehee is on the floor with Kyungsoon sitting on her while Tao takes the opportunity to tickle Sehee's sides.
"Not fair--" she gasps out, face completely flushed pink, pajama covered legs flailing. Jungda sits down on the floor next to her and brushes the hair out of her face.
"Jungda--" she laughs, "help, I'm gonna---" she shrieks when Kyungsoon bends down to blow a raspberry on her cheek. Jungda laughs, enjoying the way the two others are torturing Sehee at the moment.
"Please," She tries again, "I'm gonna---I'm gonna pee mysel--"
And she dissolves into more laughter when Jungda tickles her socked feet, and Tao takes over sitting on her.
They finally settle down, and Sehee sulks in a corner of the kitchen, laughter tears pricking her eyes. She whines, calling Jungda a traitor until the same girl coaxes her over with a slice of crispy bacon.
They sit down to eat pancakes, Kyungsoon liberally adding whip, syrup, and strawberries to whoever asks. Tao ends up with whip on their nose from a still vengeful Sehee.
"I am just an innocent child--" she yells as Tao runs after her.
"If you all break anything you're dead!" Kyungsoon's tone is threatening, but the smile on her lips reveals just how amused she actually is.
"So what if I said this was my first sleepover since I was like eight?" Jungda asks, twirling her fork in the whip left on her plate. She ate too many pancakes and wonders if its okay to fall asleep right where she is. Kyungsoon probably wouldn't mind.
“I would say, let’s have lots more, I mean--” She shifts in her seat, “Are you going away for uni? Or the summer?”
It’s easy to forget that they’ll soon be graduating, and Jungda hasn’t been thinking about it too much. She loses sleep at night sometimes, most of the time.
“I’ll be around,” She puts the fork down, “I was thinking of taking a year off. Or maybe going part time…”
“Hm,” Kyungsoon hums, “me too actually. Tao talking about becoming a hairstylist has me considering, but I kinda want to go to school too, y’know?”
Jungda nods, they’ve all talked about this before.
“Joonmi’s going to a top school, with her--I honestly don’t--um--” Jungda trails offs, she doesn’t know where she was going with that train of thought. She finally has this group of friends, they’ve allowed her to join them, they’ve accepted her. She’s in love with all of them, in that sort of wonderful blissful way. Like she’s being bathed in soft spring sunlight. She knows she doesn’t have to just rely on herself, she has so much now. Jungda’s aware that she doesn’t show it, but she’s eager to know them more, for a long time. As long as that connection between them can last.
“That you won’t be able to keep up?” Kyungsoon’s eyes twinkle.
Jungda nods, exactly what she can’t really voice.
“I think,” Kyungsoon huffs, “I think, it’s not my place to make you do what you want--”
She holds up her finger when Jungda tries to interject. “And aren’t able to do. Joonmi--we,” She corrects herself, “We really like you. You’re an awesome friend, and I don’t want you to get the wrong impression, but all of us, we talked about how it seemed as if we’d known you forever. I mean, I know you’re figuring things out, and I’m getting off subject--”
“What Kyungsoon means is we really like you. And we’ve seen Joonmi stumble around to try to show you how much she likes you,” Tao says from the doorway. Jungda can hear the Mario Kart theme playing from downstairs. They must’ve taken out the old gamecube to play with Sehee. The younger is yelling, and Jungda is almost distracted enough to giggle.
“I’m going to die,” Jungda’s blushing, breaking out into a sweat, “It was going so well--I thought we were having a moment,” Jungda’s voice is muffled by the way she’s now pressing her face onto the table, “But you guys had to ruin it.”
Kyungsoon giggles, “We usually keep out of people’s business. Joonmi’s the meddlesome one, well intentioned, but meddlesome. It’s just--”
“It’s so painful watching you two,” Sehee has finally joined them, “whatever you guys do or don’t do--”
“We should figure it out,” Jungda’s finally sitting up, “How did you guys even--I didn’t know she--”
“Joonmi kept calling you cute and giving you puppy eyes, and we just asked. She mumbled a lot and was like,” Sehee is smiling, using air quotes, “She probably doesn’t even see me that way, and like. We were worried,” Sehee finishes sincerely.
“Joonmi’s our friend, and now you too, we just don’t want you guys to end up hurt,” Tao shrugs, and the other two girls nod.
It makes sense, of course it does.
“I can’t believe you guys are basically giving me an intervention” Jundga finally laughs, hiccuping at the end.
“It wasn’t the plan, Chanyeol wanted us to lock you two in the bathroom. I’m sorry though,” Kyungsoon looks really nervous now, tugging on one of the drawstrings of her sleep shorts, “We don’t want you to feel cornered--”
Jungda stands up, gathering her dirty dishes, “No, barely,” She laughs, “I’m not good at any of this,” she gestures with a dirty fork, “thank you. I mean--” She smirks, a facial expression she gets to use a lot now, “I mean I guess--”
It takes exactly ten minutes for them to wash the dishes when Sehee finally enacts her revenge. Jungda's covered in suds and somehow Tao goes unscathed, laughing almost like they're too amused by a now also soapy Kyungsoon.
“Tao--” Kyungsoon threatens before taking off after them, tackling down the taller. They horse around until they’re all tired and Kyungsoon gets a text that her mom left them money for a pizza.
Perfect, perfect, perfect.
It's sunny when Jungda leaves home, she's supposed to meet Joonmi outside of the starbucks that's halfway between their houses. Easier that way for them to meet up. When Jungda gets there, the other girl signals her inside and hands her an ice cold tea. She's really dressed down today, and Jungda does a double take at the cap on Joonmi's head.
Jungda takes the tea awkwardly, "Thanks," only a few syllables stumbling out of her mouth, "I like your hat by the way," she says flicking the bill of the baseball cap.
"Oh, thanks," she puts up a v-sign and winks, "Come on," Joonmi is already taking one of her hands and leading her back out into the sun. Jungda does her best to clear the talk she had with everyone else the day before, but it's hard when all she focus on in Joonmi's hand. The charm bracelets she always wears clinks, and her sweaty palm is pressed firmly against Jungda's.
"Are you okay?" She asks abruptly, stopping in the middle of the sidewalk. They're in the middle of a popular shopping district, and there are so many people milling about that Jungda feels sweaty.
"Yeah," She responds automatically, arranges a careful smile onto her face.
Joonmi nods, dropping her hand in favor of her phone, "I'll let my aunt know we're on our way. Thank you so much for doing this with me."
"Of course! It's not a big deal, and we can finally do something together. Just us two."
"Yeah..."Joonmi isn't really looking at her.
They barely talk on the way to the office, but it's not too bad seeing as how it only takes ten minutes to arrive.
The office is empty of people, except of course for Joonmi's aunt. She's plump and small, a kind look on her face. She's thankful for their help, organizing old paperwork was apparently too menial a job for anyone else in the office. They settle into chairs set up at a desk, alphabetizing papers dating back for up to ten years ago. Sometimes they stop to giggle at names or just random things--Joonmi quietly cracking jokes that aren't funny at all. The tension from before dissolves as they focus on the task at hand, but they can't talk about anything, not really, with Joonmi's aunt in the room.
All of the words and questions bubbling up are pushed to the side.
It's not the right time, not the right place at all. They take a short break, and true to what Joonmi had said, they're given goldfish crackers and canned lemonade.
"You weren't lying," Jungda giggles between sips, the cool drink sliding down her throat.
"As if I would," Joonmi replies mock offended. The next three hours pass quickly and without incident.
It's honestly painful when Jungda breaks concentration and ends up watching Joonmi for too long. She's dying to say something, ask anything, but they end up finishing.
Joonmi won't stop expressing her gratitude, and Jungda opens her mouth to say something.
Except Joonmi trips, Jungda catches her by the elbow. They're both in shock, Joonmi could have easily fallen into oncoming traffic. A warm breeze blows by, and by this time the amount of people out has dwindled significantly.
"Don't do that," Jungda tries to lighten the mood, "that was--"
"Close," Joonmi smiles tightlipped, "Thanks, for everything."
Jungda watches as Joonmi runs a hand through her bangs, huffing when they fall back into place. "I should get going," she says already starting to turn away, voice tight too.
"Oh," Jungda tries to return the smile, "okay! Can i text you?"
Joonmi nods enthusiastically, "Yeah! Also um--" she stops moving, "I was thinking, are you free this weekend? Or week? We could have a sleepover to make up for me not coming--I mean it could just be us too hanging out--I mean if--"
"Yeah, sure, just uh, just text me?"
Joonmi agrees, looking a little more like herself as she walks in the opposite direction. Jungda feels better too.
On Friday they decide that Joonmi is to go home with Jungda, because her mom won't be home and really--that seems to be best.
Not that they should've disclosed that detail because Chanyeol wolf whistles when Joonmi innocently lets it slip past her lips.
"You can't even imagine what we'll be doing," Joonmi quips, and Jungda's cheeks burn. Even if it's just a joke. A really damning joke to be exact.
She waits for Joonmi outside at the front of the school, waving Tao off as they jump on their bike. Sehee has violin lessons, and Kyungsoon had disappeared with Chanyeol for their date night. So it's not like anyone would have been able to invite themselves to Jungda's place anyway.
She had hope no one would, but hanging out with just Joonmi is really hard, really nerve wracking. And it wasn't before, there were no heavy implications.
The other girl is blissfully unaware that Jungda knows, and she wishes they could switch places. Joonmi's a go getter, she's the type to work extra hard--Jungda is too much of a chicken and honestly, everything sucks.
That thought is smothered when she catches sight of Joonmi walking in her direction. She's in her clothes from badminton practice, and really they're tennis clothes. The difference comes from the actual sport, but she's wearing white on white on white. Short pleated skort and visor complete the look in a way that makes Jungda not want to look away for any reason.
"You ready?" Jungda asks, already leading the way in the direction of where she lives. Joonmi follows close behind, educating her on badminton. How it's the greatest sport ever. Jungda jokes around each time she gets the chance, because worked up Joonmi is both entertaining and awfully cute. Hair pulled up, hair bouncing in the perfect way it always does when its pulled into a high ponytail.
Home is quiet, like it always is. Their laughter echoes in the hallway outside of the front door, falling inside heavily.
"My mom probably won't be home," Jungda says almost cheerily, "She met someone new, its always been like this."
She neatly takes off her shoes and continues on to her room, Joonmi easily mimicking her actions.
"Oh," Joonmi hums in awe, "your room is so nice and clean, you should see mine."
Jungda finds it hard to believe that Joonmi could be anything but overly organized. In all aspects of her life.
"I'm full of surprises," she winks.
They settle into her room, Joonmi taking the liberty of picking up the trinkets on Jungda's desk, inspecting individual items and putting them down again.
"Is this you with your mom?" She asks picking up a picture frame.
"Mhm, we went to the lake that day."
"I get it now."
"Get what?" Jungda asks confused. Curious.
"Why you're so pretty," Joonmi turns around, pointing at the picture, "you get it from your mom, huh?"
The girl in question blushes bright pink.
"Let me show you the balcony."
She leads her outside, and the balcony is so small, theyre standing impossibly close together.
"There's not much of a view, unless you're into star watching?"
"Or cloud watching," Joonmi jokes, "since its still day."
"True," Jungda agrees, suggesting they sit, backs resting against the sliding glass door.
They're quiet, the sky turning a muted salmon pink as the sun begins to set.
"Those are stratocumulus clouds," Jungda says suddenly.
"I can't believe you remember that, wasn't the water cycle taught in like--" Joonmi is giggling.
"Yes, forever ago," Jungda laughs, "clouds are nice."
"Mhm."
Joonmi sighs heavily and leans forward a little, "We need to talk, don't we?"
"Did you get the 'we're not trying to meddle but' lecture," Jungda uses air quotes.
Joonmi laughs, "Yeah, I got the version that asks to be gentle because I'm coming on too strong."
"Its okay," Jungda becomes serious, "they mean well."
They're quiet again. A flock of birds passes overhead, and the low hanging cotton candy clouds are turning golden with the lowering sun.
It looks almost dreamy, like Jungda could reach out and pluck a cloud piece out of the sky.
"I like you too," Jungda whispers, breaking the silence.
"I don't want you to think that--that you have to do something or like--"
"No," Jungda is firm. She's much more straightforward these days. Kyungsoon had commented how its not like she's changed, but opened up. It's a long way, she still has to go.
"No?" And there's self doubt cutting through with how Joonmi responds.
"Oh sorry--I mean um--" she huffs, "I'm still--" she gestures to herself, "I'm still--"
"Figuring things out," Joonmi finishes for her, face softening.
"But I know that I like you--more than a friend," she tries again, fidgeting with her hands.
"We'll--we'll figure things out," Joonmi says intertwining their fingers.
Her face is that all over face crinkling, pretty straight teeth and soft lips--smile.
Jungda sucks in a shuddering breath when Joonmi lays her head on her shoulder.
The sun sets eventually, and they settle on having dinner somewhere down the street. They walk impossibly close together, Joonmi linking her pinky with Jundga's own.
Everything comes with time.
Everyone's busy now a days, but they make going to Sehee's graduation a top priority.
"You've joined us," Tao teases the younger, "you gonna join me at the salon too? You can't back out on me now."
Sehee is glowing , "I can't wait. We're gonna be the best hairstylists out there, nothing will stop us now!"
They all dissolve into fit of laughter when Sehee punctuates her sentence with a victory yell.
They don't hang out as often, but it's okay, because even if weeks pass, it doesn't matter. It's always just as easy, just as perfect.
Kyungsoon and Chanyeol have moved in together, and their apartment is where they find themselves on a Wednesday night. Something about how a home cooked meal is to bring them together. Courtesy of Chanyeol's cookbook app.
"So how's school?" Kyungsoon comes over with a glass of wine, just a little bit for each of them. Just enough for the taste and the all over warmth. She knows they each need to get home, and a hump day isn't exactly the best day to get drunk.
There's a chorus of laughter as Joonmi beats Tao at yet another round of tennis on the Wii. The two are both just as hardheaded when it comes to winning games.
"Hard, but I like it. You?"
"Same, Chanyeol is switching over to online classes. I love being on campus though."
"That's good, I'm--" Jungda feels silly when she feels little pinpricks, happy tears. The same kind when her mom had asked her to be her bridesmaid for her wedding next year. Everyone's growing, learning--finding their way.
"You're not allowed to cry," Kyungsoon says, face settling into her signature frown. She's putting up a front, because her voice cracks somewhere in the middle.
"I'm just really happy."
They all disperse sometime around ten, a modest time. Sehee and Tao walking in the same direction, something about Tao needing to make sure the younger gets home safe.
“I had fun,” Joonmi says flexing her fingers, “and Chanyeol is surprisingly a good cook, no?”
“Mmm, I don’t detect any signs of heartburn, so yeah--”Jungda agrees, adjusting the strap of the bag on her shoulder. It’s humid, the concrete wet, reflecting the light of the street lamps.
“I heard you got emotional,” Joonmi begins to tease, but she’s closer, voice lower.
“Kyungsoon did too,” Jungda protests half heartedly. They’ve stopped walking, standing in front of their dorms, they’re staying in different buildings, but Joonmi insists they part halfway.
“So um--”Joonmi’s eyes are already locking with hers, a hand coming up to stroke Jungda’s face, caress her cheek. She sighs into the soft touch, wishing it wasn’t Wednesday. That they both didn’t have roommates. Jungda closes the gap, presses in as close as she can. She adores the soft feel of Joonmi pressing into her, soft hands already moving into her hair. Her mouth is perfect, plush lips sliding against her own. She doesn’t want to stop, doesn’t want to let go when Joonmi sighs into her mouth, nips right below her earlobe. Teases with a thigh pressed between her own, a hand trailing up and down her arm. She’s already reacting fully, breaking into goosebumps.
But they stop, heaving, trying to catch their breath. It’s Wednesday, and they’re standing outside where anyone could see them, and this is between them--just for them.
“We should go to a love hotel sometime,” Joonmi breathes, pecking her lips, pressing their foreheads together.
“That’s so skeevy,” Jungda says, but it doesn’t sound like a bad idea, not at all. She tucks Joonmi’s hair behind her ears, brushes her bangs back into place.
“Not if we’re in love,” Joonmi wags her eyebrows, earning a horrible too loud snort from Jungda.
“Good call,” Jungda allows before sending her off with one last kiss, placed on the apple of her cheek.
She’s feeling more than a little alright, Jungda does something embarrassing before walking into her dorm room. She screams into the night, letting whoever’s still awake know just how happy she is.
a/n: i was busy around the time the reveals for this fest happened and forgot to crosspost. im happy with this bc its the lighthearted made for tv gay movie we need idk. pls comment!!