Mar 20, 2006 19:14
Even though Jimmy had been forbidden by his parents many a times to not perform the ungodly act, Jimmy thought it was in fact his god given right to pleasure himself as much as he could. I agree with Jimmy fully, for there is no proven fact, and it is quite unlikely that a young boy might go blind if he whacks off too much. Besides, there is a parasitic boom of sexually transmitted diseases; from HIV, Hepatitis B all the way to Herpes and Gonorrhea. These viruses could all be quarantined if people did not need to exchange bodily fluids but gained all the sexual pleasure they desire from their very own right hand. Literally saving thousands if not millions of lives and healing our disease ridden country. It is also our opportunity to create more job openings, and finally a chance for people to get to know themselves a little better. Therefore I propose that masturbation be made mandatory. It is for the good of the nation.
Thousands of job openings will be created as there will be a larger demand for pornographic material, porn stars will ultimately become the new Hollywood celebrities. There will also be and increase in the manufacture of various sex toys, i.e. vibrators, pocket pussies and various sized dildos, weather glowing or not. Not only will the porn industry get a sudden boom in sales, but also the tissue, sock and dry cleaning companies will experience a new world of “pleasure”. Kleenex will exchange their advertising campaign from wiping noses to wiping penises. To compete with this, Cottenel will change their spokesman from the soft, cute little teddy bear to a pair of hilarious testicles that are always getting messy and needing to be cleaned. Unfortunately, the fast food industry will lose tremendous market shares when people begin to realize that “employees must wash hands” is really just for show.
Furthermore masturbation is more than natural, using your own body to make an aphrodisiac for your own body, causes absolutely no harm. No drugs or external chemicals need to stimulate and pleasure the brain as well as the body. In today’s stressful world everyone needs a way to relax and what better way to unwind after a long day’s work than a quick click of the mouse. Masturbation also eliminates the stressful and very demanding dating scene. Everyone has experienced at least one embarrassing situation because of a loophole in the dating ritual. However, if one already has a partner and they enjoy each other’s company, the couple can pleasure themselves in front of each other which will be even more stimulating for their partner, or if the need arise even pleasure one another. Never the less, masturbation is solitary act, where a girl or a boy can safely explore their bodies in the comfort of their own home and really understand how their genital organs work. Therefore, I believe that masturbation is just another way for people to get “in touch” with themselves and truly understand how their bodies function.
One of the leading causes of deaths around the world are Sexually Transmitted Diseases. In fact, it is estimated that every 99 of 100 STDs contracted, are the direct result of a sexual encounter with another person. If we could eliminate sexual encounters completely, apart from the time when a couple decides to bare an off spring and a doctor can complete an artificial insemination, the chances of contracting a sexually transmitted disease will drop drastically. In today’s hit and run world, no one is safe, considering that condoms are only 99.8% effective in controlling sexually transmitted diseases and pregnancy; it’s a scary world out there. All illusions aside, you will not be safe anywhere but in your living room with the latest issue of Playboy magazine.
Instead of encouraging sexuality, our society needs to take a step back and examine the many benefits of masturbation. From the boost in economy and creation of job openings to the overall well being and health of our combined community, self fulfillment should be anything but an ungodly act which is looked down upon. So, mom and dad, encourage Jimmy to pleasure himself, because if he doesn’t get it at home from Palmela Handerson, chances are, it will be from a disease ridden prostitute on the corner of Jarvis and King.