Looking backwards in time - bored of life - feeling heartache
It was all a big mess.
Some days were good, some just god awful.
And why do I still think of it?
Was it the attraction, the stir of emotion in me?
Because it wasn't, couldn't be him.
Sometimes, I believed it was him.
But I learned who he was... & learned to be disappointed, everyday.
I just wished he thought about just me.
The same way I did about him.
Funny that, he would think I was into other guys... O_o
When everyday, I worried and thought about him all day long.
Oh I get offers.. but if he only know how many ice showers I give
other men.
He'd hit the floor in amazement.
"Someone LOVES me, & is devoted, out of love."
Well, I go unnoticed all my life in this aspect.
When I love someone, I am just head over heels about them.
Not for a month, or two... but it's just always that way.
And I fall in love with the feeling everyday.
I remember the sadness of disappointment, in him.
The stores I would shop during the day... I can retrace my steps.
And I remember every tear I had.
When I knew he was just someplace else in his mind.
Hot and bothered out of his mind for someone different... I knew all about it.
He lied all about it, and was never sorry.
He was never sorry...
He was never sorry..
He could care less for me today.
While tonight I finally feel the heartache...
I still know how much he just doesn't care.
My existence, the love I always had..
It's just nothing to him now.
So now I'm just standing in time, not really thinking about today.
I know where I am..
where I live... doing the same old hobbies as ever.
Playing video games.
And tonight I feel like I'm not going anywhere with it.
I need a change to my everyday routine.
I've started my diet ever since I've had a biopsy done on my neck.
And now I have more energy, & have been exercising.
But that's not just it..
I need something else..
So much is missing.
I need to entertain my mind with something else.
Because I feel terribly bored with all the hobbies I've got at the moment.
So I have another hobby, I'd like to pick up again.
Some days were good, some just god awful.
And why do I still think of it?
Was it the attraction, the stir of emotion in me?
Because it wasn't, couldn't be him.
Sometimes, I believed it was him.
But I learned who he was... & learned to be disappointed, everyday.
I just wished he thought about just me.
The same way I did about him.
Funny that, he would think I was into other guys... O_o
When everyday, I worried and thought about him all day long.
Oh I get offers.. but if he only know how many ice showers I give
other men.
He'd hit the floor in amazement.
"Someone LOVES me, & is devoted, out of love."
Well, I go unnoticed all my life in this aspect.
When I love someone, I am just head over heels about them.
Not for a month, or two... but it's just always that way.
And I fall in love with the feeling everyday.
I remember the sadness of disappointment, in him.
The stores I would shop during the day... I can retrace my steps.
And I remember every tear I had.
When I knew he was just someplace else in his mind.
Hot and bothered out of his mind for someone different... I knew all about it.
He lied all about it, and was never sorry.
He was never sorry...
He was never sorry..
He could care less for me today.
While tonight I finally feel the heartache...
I still know how much he just doesn't care.
My existence, the love I always had..
It's just nothing to him now.
So now I'm just standing in time, not really thinking about today.
I know where I am..
where I live... doing the same old hobbies as ever.
Playing video games.
And tonight I feel like I'm not going anywhere with it.
I need a change to my everyday routine.
I've started my diet ever since I've had a biopsy done on my neck.
And now I have more energy, & have been exercising.
But that's not just it..
I need something else..
So much is missing.
I need to entertain my mind with something else.
Because I feel terribly bored with all the hobbies I've got at the moment.
So I have another hobby, I'd like to pick up again.